Once upon a long time ago, there was an island...
Some Dutch, some Indians
and some beads.
And those beads led to steamboats and skyscrapers...
wall Street and electric lights...
报纸 埃利斯岛 扬基棒球队
newspapers, Ellis Island, the Yankees...
Central Park and the first World's Fair...
Broadway, the Chrysler Building
and Studio 54.
I like to think of that as New York City B. C:
I arrived on this island at exactly 3:30 P.M.
on Tuesday, June 11th, 1986.
出租 出租 出租车 出...
Cab! Cab, cab, cab! Taxi! Ca...!
It seems like only yesterday.
The very next year, I met Charlotte.
We were on a subway car at 2 a.M.
When a homeless man dropped his pants.
Miranda and I met in 1989
I was working in the dress department.
She was crying in the changing room.
Hi. How are you?
I met Samantha
when she was bartending at CBGB's.
- Bite me! - My place or yours?
- Hi. - How are you?
Time is a funny thing.
A decade can flash by in an uneventful second.
And then, in just two years,
monumental things can happen.
Things you couldn't imagine happening in a million years.
Welcome to Bergdorf Goodman.
May I help you?
Yes, our friend is getting married.
I never thought I'd see this day.
You and me both.
Hell just froze over.
What's the name?
Oh, Blatch. It's Stanford Blatch.
Actually, I think they're registered under both names.
Her best gay friend is marrying my best gay friend.
- That's wonderful. - I know.
- Let me get the registry. - Thanks.
How did this even happen?
I thought they hated each other.
It's like musical chairs. The music
stopped and they were the last two left standing.
When you thought everyone you
knew was too old to get married, here come the gays.
And so, one weekend, we all
gathered at a charming inn in Connecticut
where the view was breathtaking...
and the wedding was legal.
How's my tie?
How's my tie?
You didn't tell me you were wearing that.
Well, I am the best man.
Oh, and you need a little help here.
So is a gay wedding shorter or longer than a straight wedding?
- Why? - Just wanna know what I'm in for.
Well, I think the marriage ceremony is about the same.
But I have no idea how long
the sacrificing of the straight men will take.
There you go.
Don't make me look too good. Gay wedding.
Will you please stop referring to this as a gay wedding?
Well, isn't it a gay wedding?
Well, yes, but it's not just a gay wedding.
It's Stanford and Anthony's wedding.
Mm. Got it.
Whoops. Your fly is down.
Better let me. These things can be tricky.
You did not pull it up.
I have to be there in an hour. I'm the best man.
Then I better do my best.
Don't wanna be late
to my first gay wedding.
This is not a gay wedding.
Wasting time talking.
Oh, come on, you're not gonna.
If ever I would leave you
It wouldn't be in summer
Seeing you in summer
Okay, it's a gay wedding.
Your hair streaked with sunlight
- Hey. - Hello.
This is what it looks like when you stare directly into the sun.
Well, I think it's beautiful.
Oh, this wedding is way more than beautiful.
It's Lady Di.
Mommy, can I go look at the swans?
Stay where we can see you, okay?
-就在那 -天鹅 你们好
- Right there. - Hi, swans.
Oh, there's Samantha. Hey.
You brought your dog?
It's a gay wedding. I figured,
what's one more little bitch with an attitude?
You guys, shouldn't we be a little bit more PC?
Can you believe this place?
It looks like the Snow Queen exploded.
- How's that for PC? - True.
So you're not the wedding planner?
Hell to the no.
I pulled out when Stanford mentioned swans.
Finally, I just threw up my arms,
whatever he wants, give it to him.
Yep, Stanford gets the wedding of his dreams
and I get to cheat.
And don't give me that face, Char.
Just because I'm getting
married doesn't mean I have to change who I am.
So you're allowed to cheat because you're gay?
No, because I'm Italian.
Carrie, Stanford's looking for you.
- Anthony. - Coming.
I don't get it. Why get married if you're gonna cheat?
Well, he didn't say he was going to cheat,
he just said he was allowed to cheat.