They say, if you wanna tell a story right,
you gotta start at the beginning.
Too far? Fine.
This is me, Harleen Quinzel.
When I was a kid,
my dad traded me for a six-pack of beer.
But however many times he tried to ditch me...
I kept coming back.
Eventually, he found me a new home.
The good sisters of St. Bernadette's taught me a lot.
But I was never an establishment kinda gal.
All things considered, I did good.
I even went to college.
Got my PhD.
Had my heart broken once or twice.
Finding love, it's not easy.
So I threw myself into my work,
became a psychiatrist.
That's when I met him.
Mr. J. My Joker.
Oh, I fell hard.
Like out of a plane without a parachute,
right in your dumb fucking face kinda hard.
I lost all sense of who I was.
I only had eyes for Puddin'.
We all know the saying,
"Behind every successful man
there's a badass broad."
Well, that was me.
I was the brains behind some of Mr. J's greatest stunts.
Not that he let anyone know it.
I guess all good things have to come to an end.
we broke up.
I handled it real mature.
But Mr. J was super broke up about it.
I got an amazing new place that was all mine.
It gave me the space to really reflect on the mistakes of my past.
I had to find a new identity.
A new me.
It wasn't easy.
But after a while, I even opened myself up
to the possibility of new love.
Hello, nice baby.
Here's the thing about new love...
I take payment-in-kind.
...you have to feed it.
Soon enough, I was back on my feet.
Ready to move on, to make new friends.
She means fucking business!
- Oh, here we go! - Whip me!
She has taken a whip from the pivot, catapulted to the high side!
Yeah! Come on!
It was time for Gotham to meet the new Harley Quinn,
so I really put myself out there.
Ride that pole like you ride your man!
God damn it. Sit the fuck down.
I said sit your skinny ass down, you dumb slut.
You broke my fucking legs!
It's not a party without a little drama, am I right?
Come on! Turn it up!
Shots on the house.
敢说我傻 我有博士学位 混账东西
Call me dumb. I have a PhD, motherfucker.
- Miss Quinn. - Romy.
That was my driver.
Well, I'm sure it was his fault. Consider him fired.
Consider me grateful.
Especially since I know you don't like me.
I agitate his already delicate sense of mental equilibrium.
That and his obsessive-compulsive need
to be the center of attention.
Will your paramour be joining us this evening?
今晚不会 罗米 今晚不会
Not tonight, Romy. Not tonight.
Well, enjoy yourself, Miss Quinn.
And do give the Joker my best.
Okay, fine, so I hadn't told people about the breakup.
But you don't understand.
Find me a new driver.
Being Joker's girl gave me immunity.
I could do whatever I wanted to whoever I wanted,
and no one ever dared to object.
And don't let him give you shit, okay?
You have to stick up for yourself.
Oh, please. I give it a few days before they're back together.
Even when I did try and tell people,
they didn't believe me.
Come on. She told me they're really broken up this time.
Sure they are, Shell.
That's why she's still wearing that tacky "J" necklace.
She is going to be running right back into his arms
the minute he snaps his fingers.
If not him, the next closest alpha male with a pulse.
Some people just aren't born to stand on their own.
-姑娘们 喝一杯 来吧 -好
- Oh, girl, let's drink. Come on. - All right.
I knew I needed to find some way to show the world
that I'd cut ties with Mr. J for good.
Some people have the Eiffel Tower, or Olive Garden.
The Joker and I?
Our love bloomed in a highly toxic industrial processing plant.
And luckily for me,
I have all my best ideas drunk.
I have the best idea!
The fuck? Hey! Hey! Come back here!
This is where it all began, Puddin'.
It was the closure I needed.
A fresh start.
A chance to be my own woman.
But I wasn't the only dame in Gotham looking for emancipation.
This is our story.
And I'm telling it, so I'll start where I fucking want.
Meet the cop.
I got 50 says it was turf war.
一如既往 你赌错了 芒罗
Well, as always, you're wrong, Munroe.
Her. Renee Montoya.
Raised on '80s cop shows,
she's always saying cheesy shit like...
There was only one shooter.
This guy shot out the glass.
Have Ballistics check for a bullet in one of those parked cars.
Ten years ago, she broke a career-making case.