- This is awesome. - Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. This is crazy.
Oh, my God! So incredible.
Do you want to know a secret?
I took a Viagra.
- What? - This is awesome!
Why aren't I using this every day?
你干什么啦 等等 停停停
What'd you do? Wait. Stop, stop, stop.
- Stop. - What?
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
You just took a Viagra to have sex with me.
I thought it would make it better.
It was better. It takes some of the pressure off.
Because you can't get hard without a Viagra?
Is it because you don't think I'm sexy?
I thought you'd think it was fun
for me to super-size it for once.
That is the worst birthday present you could ever give someone.
I was just trying to go turbo for your birthday.
My hard-ons are still in analog.
This shit's digital.
I don't want a turbo penis.
I like your medium-soft one.
Look, I can get it up. Just not that far up.
Come on. You were liking it.
Forget it. Forget it.
Debbie, come on.
All right, you know what? I'll be honest with you.
Lately, my penis hasn't been getting as hard as it used to, all right?
And it's kind of freaked me out.
I don't know whether or not it's
because I'm getting older or I'm losing testosterone.
No, it's what I told you.
Your artery to your heart is clogged
because you eat so much junk food,
and you have high cholesterol,
and that is directly related to your penis vein.
My "Penis vein"?
Where'd you get my penis vein?
There was a whole Dr. Oz about it.
Cholesterol is not clogging my penis vein.
Maybe I can't get a hard-on fully because,
you know, I keep my phone in my front pocket,
and it's radiating my balls.
I'll give you that. That makes sense.
Where'd you even get it from?
A very safe and reputable farmacia.
Look at this. You want that to go to waste?
Looks like a plant trying to reach the sun.
Okay, well... I'll do it for 10 minutes,
but you have to figure out what to do with the other four hours.
停下 老爸 打住
Stop it. Dad, stop.
I love you.
Time to get up.
Your breath smells weird.
I really need you to wake up.
Wake up. Come on.
- Time to wake up. - Okay.
Happpy birthday dear Mummy
Happy birthday to you
Make a wish!
Can I watch Lost?
You can't handle Lost.
It's too violent, and you won't understand.
If I don't understand it, why can't I handle it?
Because you're eight.
I can handle it.
I've seen a shark eat a guy on Shark Week.
Shark Week is fake.
No, it's not.
All of it is reenactments.
I know, but they...
And that's scary. You shouldn't be allowed to watch that.
They show the reenactments, but they actually happened.
It's gonna give you nightmares.
I can handle a nightmare.
You're a nightmare every day for me.
Don't eat that cupcake.
The one you just put into the sink.
I saw you were hiding that.
This cupcake? You think I'm going to eat this cupcake?
I so don't want this cupcake. Look.
You're still going to eat it.
I'm going to eat that cupcake?
Just put it in the trash.
What would you like to do? Your choice.
-什么都行 -对 什么都行
- Anything? - Yeah, anything.
Just hang out with you guys.
Don't you want to get a massage, or do something fun?
It's a bit forty's huge.
I'm turning 38.
Okay, 38. We will move on.
Isn't it weird that our birthday is the same week,
and then we're going to have a party, and it's just for me?
No, I don't think it's weird at all.
Because you're turning 40 and I'm turning 38.
Come on, do you really want to be one of those ladies
who's just so insecure about their age?
And they lie, and then they gotta remember,
and it gets all...
You don't get it. See, you don't understand how it works.
I don't want to shop at old ladies' stores.
我不想去J. Jill Chico's
I don't want to go to J. Jill and Chico's,
或是Ann Taylor Loft
and Ann Taylor Loft.
I'm not ready yet.
I need two more years.
That is so insane, it kind of makes sense.
What'd you get me for my birthday?
Wait a minute, I thought you said that
we shouldn't get each other gifts this year.
What do you mean?
You're supposed to get me a surprise gift.
This is a big birthday.
I'm turning 40.
Mom, why can't I get new clothes?
What the fuck? Nothing fits me!
God damn it!
I'm going to go work out, I'll be back in about an hour.
Hey, did your father call to wish you a happy birthday?
No, but that's no surprise.