I just want to be able to go out
and have a nice night for once. Is that too much to ask?
One thing I fuck up
- in the last nine years. - One thing?
- Eight years in a row... - It's literally
the most important things you have to remember in a relationship.
That's not the right way to use "literally".
I know the difference between literal
-什么是比喻 戴夫 -你抓住我的把柄
- and figurative language, Dave! - You get something on me
and never let it go.
Come on! I knew it was your birthday!
'Cause you saw it on Facebook!
That's how most people remember birthdays!
I just want a little bit of respect, Dave.
Why does everything have to be an argument?
- Why do you think?! - You're the one raising your voice!
'Cause it's the only way I can be heard!
- You're like a child! - I'm like a child?
Yeah, you're like a child!
You're the one shouting at me! You started shouting first!
‐ I knew this was coming. ‐ Not one present!
There's a version of this‐‐ there's a version of this
- where we've had a really lovely time together. - Oh, is it?
Just buy me a fucking present.
Maybe that would be a nice thing to do.
‐ Just because Stevie cooks one meal... - Yeah?
doesn't mean suddenly we all have to know how to wash rice!
What are you fucking talking about, Dave?!
I'm talking about it's a different thing!
Oh, my God! It's about being a fucking grown‐up!
I am being a grown‐up! Have a look!
Just get what I asked you! Just get what I asked you!
...and pumpkin activated... ...fucking quinoa‐stuffed...
Not that one! I need this one!
It's pumpkin and red lentil!
I just want to take you home with me. Yes, I do.
Fucking listen to me!
不 我说了不 不行
No! I said no. No!
别激动 冷静 听我说
Calm down! Calm down! Listen!
伙计 走开 走吧
Mate, move on. Move on.
伙计 你得走了 快点 麻溜的
Mate, you've got to move on. Come on. Get a move on.
‐ Pack it up, get out of here. ‐ What are you doing?
‐ I make an effort every day! ‐ Dave...
- You don't even... ‐ I'm making an effort right now being here!
I'll get you something next week!
少来 你♥他♥妈♥少来 戴夫
You don't! You fucking don't, Dave!
你自己买♥♥个礼物 替我包起来 看我在不在乎
Get yourself a present, wrap it up for me! See if I care!
Oh, my God!
Well, gosh, gee, golly‐o!
I do love a good song, Frogsie!
I love singing so much, Teddy!
And I love singing with you, Frogsie!
Mommy says you're staying with us.
How long will you be here?
Go to school, Felix.
I've been to school.
What time is it?
It's Teddy McGiggle time.
Mc... What?! Where's your mom?
At the shops.
If you're staying, does that mean we can hang out lots?
No. Make me a coffee.
I can't make coffee. I'm five.
Do you want to play with my toy tractor?
Look, Uncle David hit Mommy's booze cabinet pretty hard.
That's a bad word, Uncle David.
The McGiggle dance!
一 二 三 跳
A‐one, two, three, go!
We're coming down under, kiddlywinks!
What's this, Uncle David?
What do you think you're doing?
Relax. He's really good at it.
What are you doing?!
You're not meant to turn it off like that!
You'll damage the hardware!
Don't expose him to that sort of violence.
‐ It's not real! ‐ That's not the point.
He's five. What's wrong with you?
Come and help me unpack the shopping, fluffy duck.
We're having pizza for dinner.
披萨 谢天谢地 我饿死了
Pizza? Thank fuck! I'm starving!
Could someone tell me what the fuck that is meant to be?
-戴夫 -妈妈 他又说了
- Dave! ‐ Mommy, he did it again.
I will kick you out.
I don't care what you're going through.
‐ What is that? ‐ Tofu.
It's broccoli. It's a kind of vegetable.
You like eating this?
Yes. And so does my tractor.
‐ Where's the cheese? ‐ I can't have cheese.
You know he can't have dairy. He's anaphylactic.
我对鱼 奶制品 鸡蛋
I'm allergic to fish, dairy, eggs,
sesame, nuts, and gluten.
No one's allergic to gluten. It's a fad.
别扯皮 戴夫 过敏可能危及生命
Don't joke, Dave. It's a life‐threatening condition.
So is what I'm going through.
Why did you call him Boo‐Boo?
It's what I used to call your uncle when he was your age.
No, see, you don't get to call me that.
你只能叫我大卫舅舅 戴夫舅舅 老D或者大D
You call me Uncle David, Uncle Dave, D‐Man, or Big D.
I had too much stuff going on with the band, all right?
I couldn't get tied down.
Miss Caroline plays the ukulele
and we all sing Taylor Swift songs.
Well, you be sure to tell Miss Caroline
that she can go and suck a bag of dicks.
Teddy McGiggle says to sing the bad word song
when you hear a grown‐up say a bad word.
- Do you want to hear it? ‐ No.
? 脏话 脏话 因为你说了脏话 ?
? Bad word, bad word! 'Cause you said a bad thing ?
? 现在我们都要唱 ?
? Now we all have to sing ?
? 啦啦啦啦啦 ?
? Tra‐la‐la‐la‐la‐la‐la ?
? 啦啦啦啦啦 ?
? Tra‐la‐la‐la‐la‐la‐la... ?
All Sara would ever go on about was having kids, okay?
That's why we fought all the time.
Dave, there are plenty of things to be scared of in this world,
but having a kid isn't one of them.
I came out of a test tube.
Yeah, I know you did, Felix.
Dave, there is nothing that says you have to end up like Dad.