优步危机 

Stuber 

Part 1

2019年12月1日 11:02


优步危机图片

特乔很狡猾
Tedjo's slippery.
别看他个子小 可不能小看他
He's small, but don't underestimate him.
-听我指挥就好 姑娘 -好
- Just follow my lead, kiddo. - Okay.
你好 我们要去顶层
Hello. Need to get up to the penthouse please.
我会通知华盛顿先生有访客
I'll let Mr. Washington know that you're here.
最好给华盛顿先生一个惊喜
It's best if we surprise Mr. Washington.
是 这样最好
Yeah. I think that'd be best.
谢谢你
Thank you.
华盛顿先生
"Mr. Washington"?
特乔不在安全屋呆着 在这干嘛
Why would Tedjo stay here and not a safehouse?
最好别他喵的是假线索
Better not be a bad friggin' tip.
他喵的
"Friggin'"?
女儿觉得我讲的脏话太多了
Daughter thinks I swear too much.
妮可还在跟那个家伙约会吗
Is Nicole still dating that guy?
是啊 马西斯
Yeah. Mathis.
体味像蜡烛
Smells like a candle.
天哪 希望他们没在做♥爱♥
God, I hope they're not having sex.
别担心 她信天主教的
Oh, don't worry about it, she's Catholic.
天主教不能有婚前性行为
可能最多爆爆菊花
Probably just a bit of anal.
莫里斯
Morris.
趴下
Get down!
搞啥
What the...
安全
Clear.
莫里斯 你还好吧
Morris! You okay?
特乔
Tedjo.

Shit!
混♥蛋♥
Fucker!
天哪
Oh. Oh, Jesus!
二 三 四 五 六
Two, three, four, five, six!
你个小混♥蛋♥
You little shit!
维克 你怎么样
Vic, you good?
-特乔跑了 -快追
- That's Tedjo. - Come on.
我没看到他
I don't see him!
到哪去了
Where'd he go?
我看到他了
I got him!
我们赶紧下楼
We gotta move!
操蛋
Oh, shit!

Yes!
莫里斯 他在那吗
Is he there? Morris?
刚刚下来 我没看见
Just got down here! I don't see...
-维克 帮我 -操
- Vic! Help! - Shit!
帮我 帮我 维克 帮我
Help, help! Vic, help!
莫里斯
Morris!
站住
Stop!
快追
Come on!
走开
Move!
莫里斯
Morris!
站住
Stop!
站住 转过身来
Stop and turn around!
举起手来 现在
Hands up! Now!
慢点 别动
Slowly! Don't move!
莫里斯
Morris!
莫里斯
Morris!

Shit.
莫里斯 告诉我你没事
Tell me you're good. Morris?
快啊 姑娘 对我说话
Come on, kid, talk to me.
别睡过去 姑娘 加油
Stay with me, kiddo. Come on.
日了狗了
Oh, God damn it!
我需要支援
I need backup.
急需医疗救护
We need medical support
在斯台普斯中心西侧入口
at the west entrance to the Staples Center.
没事了
You're good. Hey.
莫里斯
Morris?
莫里斯
Morris!
救命
Help!
半年后
五点了 洛杉矶 该下班了
It's 5:00, Los Angeles. Quittin' time!
体育用品店
回到家 跳进游泳池洗个冷水澡
Get home, jump in the pool, have a cold one.
因为天气还是热得不行
Because this heat wave is still working.
海滩39度 谷区44度
103 degrees at the beaches, 112 in the Valley.
节目开始啦
Let's do it!
如果天气是地狱 交通就是恶魔
It's hot as hell, people, and the traffic is a demon.
从405号♥ 10号♥公路 一直堵到落日大道
405 is backed up from the 10 to Sunset.
两条车道关闭
Two lanes closed on the...
操 怎么又来了
Oh, shit! Again?
斯图
Stu!
斯图步
Stuber.
你没取消啊
You didn't cancel.
会影响我的评分的
It affects my rating.
掉到四分以下我就干不了优步司机了
I can't drop below four stars or I lose this job.
喔 新车呀
Ooh. New ride?
有点污染环境 但是还不赖
A little eco-puss for me but not bad.
你怎么买♥♥的起车的 斯图步
How'd you afford this, Stuber?
租的 然后你别再叫我斯图步了
It's a lease, and you can stop calling me Stuber.
别扯了 你知道我得对你凶一点
Oh, come on. You know I gotta be tough with you.
在其他店员面前
I can't show favoritism
我可不能表现出对你的偏爱
in front of my other employees.
你跟卖♥♥划船用品的雅士利讲
You told Ashley in kayaks
我在海湾战争中失去了鸡儿
that I lost my penis in the Gulf War.
哈哈 是我说的 但你看
I did that. Come on, man.
关键是我在你身上看到了闪光点
The point is, I see potential in you, Stu.
快输上你的目的地
Just type in your destination.
Bosley 脱发治疗中心
-我不是去种头发 -那
- I'm not going to Bosley. - But...
我是要去干在那工作的一个妹子
I'm banging a chick that works there.
-她的名字是不是保法止 -啥
- Is her name Propecia? - Huh?
保法止是一种治疗脱发的药
-啥 -好了
- Hmm? - All right.
小子 给我来点那个咖啡饼干
Give me some of them Coffee Crisps, son.
我要好好体验一把斯图步
I need the full Stuber experience
不然我就给你评一星
or you're getting one star again.
二十世纪福克斯出品
优步危机
好了 听起来会很难开
Okay, this is gonna sound complicated.
但是我要你走阿塔洛玛那开
But what I need you to do is take Alta Loma,
一直开到北克罗夫特街
down to North Croft Street.
-五个芝士堡 -五个芝士堡
- Five cheeseburgers. - Five cheeseburgers.
-五个芝士堡 -不要洋葱 不要酸黄瓜
- Five cheeseburgers. - No onions, no pickles.
-是要五个芝士堡吗 -不要洋葱 酸黄瓜
- Did you say five cheeseburgers? - No onions! No pickles!
-你不会要在车里吃吧 -才不会
- You're not gonna eat this in the car, right? - Oh, no.
刚刚在酒吧 他怎么会用
Down at the bar. How come he uses...
我收到了四条语♥音♥
I have four voicemails from him.
四个爱心 每次发我短♥信♥都有
...four heart emojis? Every time he texts me...
哈利的父母是被伏地魔杀死的
Harry's parents died and was killed by Voldemort.
我最讨厌鱼了
I just hate fish.
好多人觉得
Now, a lot of people think...
你看不出来我很痛苦嘛
Can't you see I'm in pain here?
你就不能压着限速开吗
Could you at least drive the speed limit?
小心
Watch out!
哥们全赖你
That's on you, bro.
别 别
No! No!
要吐吐在车外面
No, go out the window!
劳伦的新评价
开起车来像个小娘们
巨厚的眉毛挡着看不到路
巨厚的眉毛吗
"Massive eyebrows?"
拜伦·杰德
Byron Jade.

Shit.
嘿 维克
Yo, Vic.
克莱默五十岁生日
It's Kramer's 50th.
给你带了块世界上最小的蛋糕
I brought you the world's tiniest piece of cake.
我生日都没蛋糕吃
I didn't get cake on my birthday.
你在这干啥呢
What're you doin' here?


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