这幢房♥子 有时会让人觉得
This House, at times, can feel somewhat detached
有点脱离尘世
from the outside world,
所以我提醒大家一下 圣诞节快到了
so let me remind you all that Christmas is approaching.
我昨天和妻子告别
And you know, it struck me,
赶来这里的时候 突然想到
as I said goodbye to my wife yesterday to come here,
这个提案和圣诞节有很多共同之处
that this proposed bill and Christmas have a lot in common.
它们都含有我最喜欢的三个词
They're both about my three favourite words, actually,
这三个词是
and those words are
家庭 家庭 家
family, family, fa....
-你老婆的电♥话♥ -我什么
- Your wife's on the phone. - My what?
-你老婆 -我老婆
- Your wife. - My wife?
我昨天刚和她通过电♥话♥啊
I spoke to her just yesterday.
抱歉 伙计们 和我结婚的女人来电♥话♥了
Sorry, chaps, it's just this woman from my wedding.
喂 亲爱的
Hello, dearest.
天啊
God.
对不起 亲爱的 我一个字也听不见
Sorry, I can't hear a word you're saying, darling.
信♥号♥♥太差了
It's a terrible line.
刚才是孩子的声音吗
Oh, that's the baby, is it?
-什么 -你什么时候回家
- What? - When will you be home?
对不起 亲爱的
Oh, no, sorry, darling.
恐怕我今晚回不去了
I won't be coming home tonight, I'm afraid.
-真是的 -明天呢
- I know... - Tomorrow?
明天也不行
Or tomorrow.
-真是的 -我不开心
- I know... - I'm so upset!
我也很伤心 亲爱的
Well, I'm heartbroken too, darling.
真是的
Yes, I know...
但其实吧 亲爱的
..but the truth is, darling, er...
我这里出了点事
..something's just come up.
鬼屋欢乐送
圣诞特别篇
他现在在干嘛
Oh, what's he doing now?
太好了
Yes!
他在做土豆泥
He's doing spuds in beef dripping.
他挺懂行[洋葱]嘛 我是说土豆
He knows his onions. Potatoes.
-你们准备好了吗 -当然
- Are you ready for this? - Hell, yeah.
来了哦 提醒一下 很性感的
Here she comes. I should warn you, it's VERY sexy.
性感
Sexy?
圣诞夜快乐 嘟嘟 叮当
Merry Christmas Eve. Honk. Crrring.
迈克 你这件没什么圣诞节气氛啊
Mike, that's not very Christmassy.
上面有一只驯鹿啊
It's got a reindeer on it.
-你看起来好美 艾莉森 -你就像烟花一样
- I think you look wonderful, Alison. - You look like a firework.
-谢谢 伙计们 -鬼魂来了 是吗 我知道了
- Oh, thanks, guys. - The ghosts are here, are they? I get it.
你们在欣赏大♥师♥的厨艺 是吗
Admiring the master at work, yeah?
他把蛋奶糕烤糊了 两次
He's burnt the custard. Twice.
还把萝卜的味道都洗掉了
And he's washed all the flavour out of the turnips as well.
-我就是厨房♥奇才 -差不多吧
- I'm a kitchen wizard. - Yeah, kind of.
这个圣诞节肯定超完美
This Christmas is going to be so perfect,
简直就像圣诞节的广♥告♥一样
it's going be like an advert for Christmas.
看看我的圣诞蓝图 多棒啊
Look at my Christmas master plan. It's amazing, right?
迈克的圣诞节安排
都安排好了 爸妈可以放松一下了
It's all planned out, so Mum and Dad can relax.
你也知道他们
You know what they're like --
什么都抢着干 这次不用了
always trying to do everything. Not this time.
计划不错啊 迈克尔
Excellent planning, Michael.
我也想要白板
Oh, the things I could have done with a whiteboard.
虚伪
Gah, humbug.
不喜欢圣诞节吗 朱利安
Not a fan of Christmas, Julian?
不 我只是说这里有一罐薄荷糖
Oh, no, I'm just saying there's a jar of humbugs here.
我也的确不喜欢圣诞节
Also, I'm not a fan of Christmas.
-真的吗 -嗯 死了以后感觉就不一样了
- Really? - Well, it's just not the same when you're dead.
不能喝酒 不能在圣诞团建派对上
Can't drink booze, can't flirt with the fillies
和小姑娘调情
at the office Christmas party.
没有这些 还有什么乐趣 我回房♥间了
If you can't do that, what's the point? Going to my room.
圣诞结束后记得叫我
Wake me up when it's all over.
他说得也有道理
I suppose he does have a point.
别误会啊
I mean, don't get me wrong, you know,
我还是挺期待平安夜的
I still get a tingle in me dingle on Christmas Eve,
但是曾经的回忆确实难以忘怀
but it is hard, with the memories of what you had.
我都不记得国王 女王上次的演讲了
I can't recall the last time I heard the King's... Queen's Speech.
我很想念和儿子还有侄子们玩游戏的时光
I miss playing games with my boy and the nephews --
"巴卡路""博格""快艇骰子""扑通"
Buckaroo, Boggle, Yahtzee, KerPlunk.
你说什么胡话呢
Why are you talking gibberish?
我很想念槲寄生
I miss the mist-letoe.
我的嘴唇还会被吻吗
Will these lips e'er be kissed again?
我很想念礼物
I miss presents.
我们通常早上拆礼物 然后午饭后
We used to open them in the morning and then after lunch,
我姐妹会来我房♥间
my sister would come into my room
选她想要的礼物
and pick the ones that she wanted.
这么多事 何必呢
All this fuss, and for what?
圣诞节只是一时的狂热
This whole Christmas thing is just a fad.
已经有2000年了 罗宾
It's been 2,000 years, Robin.
没错 再过2000年
Exactly. And in mere 2,000 more,
就会出现别的节日了
it'll be something else.
整件事只是
The whole thing is just a...
叫什么来着
What is phrase?
昙花一现
Flash in the pan.
过眼云烟
Passing obsession.
相信我 它绝对不会一直流行的
Trust me, it'll never catch on. Never.
等等 今年不同啊
Well, hold on, this year can be different.
-今年有我 我们可以过一个超棒的圣诞节 -没错
- I'm here. We can have the best Christmas. - Yes!
这倒提醒了我
Ooh, which reminds me,
我要在白板上加点东西
got to add something to the board.
-卡罗尔要来吗 -不不 帕特
- Carole's coming? - Oh, no. No, Pat.
不是你妻子
I... Not...not your wife.
我是说圣诞颂歌♥
I meant a Christmas carol.
我想唱一首圣诞颂歌♥
I'd like to sing one.
在钢琴旁边
Maybe around the piano.
如果你的家人愿意 他们也可以一起唱
And your family can join in if they want to.
应该不会 他们不怎么喜欢唱圣诞颂歌♥
I don't reckon they will. They're not really carol-y.
-到时候问问吧 -他们不会唱的
- Well, we can ask. - They won't want to.
-嗯 到时候问问 -嗯 他们不会唱的
- Ah, yeah, we can ask. - Yeah, they won't want to.
他们来了
Ah, they're here.
太好了 问问他们吧
Great, let's ask them.
他们不会唱的
Yeah, they won't want to.
妈
Hi, Mum.
我的小王子
There he is. My little prince.
妈
Mum.
艾莉森 不得不说
Alison, may I say,
你今年的装饰挺不错的
you've made a wonderful start to the decorations this year.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
到时候摆上圣诞树就更好看了
It will look even better once the tree goes up.
什么 我们已经
What? We've...
我们已经摆了两周了
We've had this up for, like, two weeks.
-这个 -是啊
- That? - Yeah.
不不 这是灌木
No, no, no, that is a bush.
我是说真正的树
I mean a real tree.
太用力了 我的骨头要断啦
So strong, crushing my bones.
蕾拉
Leila.
-圣诞快乐 -圣诞快乐
- Happy Christmas. - Happy Christmas.
艾莉森 圣诞快乐
Oh, Alison, merry Christmas.
妈 我喘不上气了
Mum, I can't breathe.
-艾莉森 -安吉拉 你好呀
- Hi, Alison. - Angela! Oh, look! Hiya!
你好 南希
Hello, Nancy.
宝宝
Oh, a baby!
她看我了
It looked at me!
是的 婴儿有时能看到我们
Oh, yes, yes, babies do sees us sometimes,
直到可以走路
till they be walkers usually.
这个可以看到我们
Oh, this one has the sight, yeah.
我都快疯了 她就是不睡觉
I'm going a bit crazy. She just won't sleep.
小可怜 走吧
Oh, poor you. Come here.
妈 老爸在干嘛 我说了不要带东西的
Mum, what's Dad doing? I told him not to bring anything.
只是一些配菜 亲爱的