片名：坏蛋联盟
停下
Stop.
如果你向我解释一下，我就不说了
I'll stop if you just explain it to me
-因为我不...-请你放下它好吗？
-because I don't... -Would you please just drop it?
好吧，好吧，好吧
All right, all right, fine, fine, fine, fine.
就当它掉了。它掉了
Consider it dropped. It's dropped.
-它掉在地上-好的
-It's on the ground. -Good.
但是，我是说，拜托，每个人都喜欢生日。
But, I mean, come on, everybody loves birthdays.
你有装饰品
You got decorations.
你有气球。你有派对和蛋糕
You got balloons. You got parties and cake.
听着我不需要礼物
Look, I don't need presents,
我不想要装饰品，我也不喜欢蛋糕
I don't want decorations, and I'm-I'm not a cake guy.
说真的，你不喜欢蛋糕吗？
Seriously, though, you don't like cake?
说出一种比蛋糕更好的食物。
Name one food better than cake.
豚鼠
Guinea pig.
哦，又是豚鼠
Oh, again with the guinea pig.
我打赌如果我蒙住你的眼睛
I bet if I blindfolded you,
你不可能分辨出区别
you wouldn't be able to tell the difference
在臭鼬和豚鼠之间
between a skunk and a guinea pig.
错误的蛇的味蕾无可挑剔
Wrong. Snakes have impeccable taste buds.
-我能尝到空气的味道-空气?
-I can taste air. -Air?
对空气
Yes. Air.
嗯。美好的
Mm. Nice.
我不知道。他们有点。。。
I don't know. They're a little, uh...
我觉得有点可爱
a little cute for my taste.
这就是它们如此美味的原因
That's what makes them so delicious.
你不仅仅是在吃东西
You're not just eating food.
你吃的是纯粹的善良
You're eating pure goodness.
这与猪无关
It's not about the pig.
它在更深层次上象征着什么
It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level.
所以，你可以。。。你能尝到空气的味道吗？
So, you can... you can taste air?
你还有什么？
What else you got?
-算了吧-等等
-Forget about it. -W-W-Wait.
-你也能听到颜色吗
-Can you also hear color?
你能看到声音吗-好吧，好吧。可以
Can you see sound? -All right, all right. Okay.
因为我们真的应该利用这些技能
'Cause we should really be capitalizing on these skills.
好吧，好吧。把一切都说出来
Okay, all right, fine. Get it all out.
-现在把它全部拿出来-好的，好的
-Get it all out now. -Okay, okay.
看看这个。下午四点
Look at that. 4:00 p.m.
现在我知道我们友谊的确切时间了
Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
-让我们跳起来-是的
-Let's bounce. -Yep.
尝起来像是，你又要给我账单了
Tastes like, um, you're gonna stick me with the bill-- again.
今天是我的生日
Well, it is my birthday.
你现在玩生日卡了？
So now you play the birthday card?
这很有趣
That's interesting.
当你有机会的时候，能给我们一张支票吗？
Can we get a check, please, when you get a chance?
你好检查检查
Hello Checkity-check-check.
你知道吗
You know what?
我们就把钱留在这里，好吗？
We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay?
你知道这地方的一个优点吗？
You know the one good thing about this place?
-什么-我们从来不用等桌子
-What? -We never have to for a table.
这不是每个地方吗？
Well, isn't that every place?
嘿，伙计。最近怎么样？我好久没见到你了。。。
Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in...
哦薄荷糖
Oh. Mints.
抱歉，各位 我要把他换成无咖♥啡♥因♥的
Sorry, folks. I'm switching him to decaf.
好吧
All right.
让我们这样做
Let's do this
豚鼠？
Guinea pig, huh?
这是啮齿动物中的劳斯莱斯
It's the Rolls-Royce of rodents.
是的，但它还是一只啮齿动物
Yeah, but it's still a rodent.
你知道我的意思吗？
You know what I mean?
-别介意我们，只是抢劫这个地方
-Don't mind us, just robbing this place
哇！是 啊
Whoo! Yeah!
-变坏-或者回家
-Go bad... -Or go home.
嘿，你。过来
Hey, you. Get over here.
再近一点
Little bit closer.
哦，我知道是什么
Oh, I know what it is.
你害怕是因为我是。。。大灰狼
You're afraid because I'm the... the Big Bad Wolf.
我并不惊讶
Well, I'm not surprised.
我是每个故事中的反派
I am the villain in every story.
是吗，斯内克先生？
Isn't that right, Mr. Snake?
是的
Yes.
向斯内克先生问好
Say hello to Mr. Snake.
蛇形的，安全的破碎机
Serpentine, safe-cracking machine.
想象一下胡迪尼没有手臂
Imagine Houdini but with no arms.
那种会告诉你杯子有一半空的人
Kind of guy who'd tell you the glass is half empty,
然后从你那里偷来
then steal it from you.
他也是我最好的朋友
He's also my best bud.
今天是他的生日！
And today's his birthday!
-不相关-他是个甜心。
-Not relevant. -He's a sweetheart.
-你是个甜心
-You're a sweetheart.
看看谁来了
Well, look who's here.
-花了他们足够长的时间
-Took 'em long enough.
看这个
Watch this.
三
Three.
二 一
Two. One.
这里是狼蛛女士
And over here is Ms. Tarantula,
我们的内部黑客，我们的袖珍搜索引擎
our in-house hacker, our pocket search engine,
我们的旅行科技向导
our traveling tech wizard.
我们叫她网
We call her Webs.
非常光滑，蜘蛛网
Very slick, Webs.
我还接手了警方的调遣，
I also took over the police dispatch,
模糊了他们的卫星成像系统，
blurred their satellite imaging system,
他们的直升机停飞了
grounded their chopper.
还有一件事
And one more thing.
你没有
You didn't.
我收到了一份特快专递。。。
I got a special delivery for...
啊！哦！别吃我！
Ah! Ooh! Don't eat me!
请别吃我！
Please! Don't eat me!
生日快乐，暴躁先生
Happy birthday, Mr. Grumpy Pants.
我想我恨你
I think I hate you.
伙计们，是我
Guys, it's me.
我是建筑工人
I was the construction worker.
这是Shark先生
WOLF: And this is Mr. Shark,
伪装大♥师♥
master of disguise,
一千张脸的顶级捕食者
apex predator of a thousand faces.
他最大的把戏：偷蒙娜丽莎
His greatest trick: stealing the Mona Lisa
伪装成蒙娜丽莎
disguised as the Mona Lisa.
明白了
Dig that.
小心点，大金枪鱼
Watch it, big tuna.
我想在这里工作
I'm trying to work here.
保持冷静，宝贝
Keep it cool, baby.
生日应该很冷
Birthdays should be chill.
沃尔夫：还有把全体船员集中起来。。。
WOLF: And rounding out the crew...
惊喜吧
Surprise!
是食人鱼先生
is Mr. Piranha.
他是个脾气暴躁的大炮
He's a loose cannon with a short fuse,
愿意与任何人或任何事断绝关系。
willing to scrap with anyone or anything.
他很勇敢
He's brave.
他无所畏惧
He's fearless.
我在跟谁开玩笑？他疯了
Uh, who am I kidding? He's crazy.
这是一个很大的国际玩笑
that's a lot of po-po.
食人鱼，我们忘了什么吗？
Uh, Piranha, did we forget something?
-什么-礼物
-What? -The present.
-你知道-哦，嗯。。。
-You know. -Oh, um...
我当然没有忘记
Of-of course I didn't forget.
你知道你撒谎的时候会放屁，对吗？
You know you fart when you lie, right?
什么？不，我紧张的时候才放屁
What? No, I fart when I'm nervous.
是 啊害怕撒谎
Yeah. Nervous about lying.
对不起
I'm sorry.
食人鱼！