Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
Huh? I never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house.
But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
Makes up most of his lines. Sonofa. Yeah, well, write this jerk weed.
I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft?
Uhh, I don't know, I just bring the scripts.
They can't kill me; I'm Francesca's longlost son.
Right. Could you sign this?
No. No way, I'm not signing that.
I don't think that's gonna affect the plot of the show.
How can they do this to me?
All right, uh, I'm just gonna go. Sorry.
Well it wasn't that many guys. I mean, if you consider how many guys there actually are, it's a very small percentage.
Hey, it's not that big a deal, I was just curious.
Night Richard. Good luck Mon.
All right, before I tell you, uh, why don't you tell me how many women you've been with?
Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?
Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth.
Woah, woah, no wait a minute now. Come on it's your turn. Oh come on. You know, I don't need the actual number, just a ballpark.
注释：ballpark：棒球场; (数额的) 变动范围; 可量范围。
Ok, it is definitely less than a ballpark.
Wow, I am so glad I'm not Monica right now.
Tell me about it. So what's, what's your magic number?
Come on, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
Well, there's you.
Better not be doing these in order.
Ok, uh, Billy Dreskin, Pete Carney, Barry, and uh, oh, Paolo.
Oh yes, the weenie from Torrini.
Oh honey, are you jealous of Paolo? Oh, come on, I'm so much happier with you than I ever was with him.
Oh please. That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. All it really was, was just, you know, meaningless animal sex. Ok, you know, that sounded soooo much better in my head.
Eddie, I didn't sleep with your exgirlfriend.
That's very interesting, you know, 'cause that's exactly what someone who slept with her would say.
This is nuts. This is crazy. She came over for like two minutes, dropped off a fish tank, and left, end of story.
My fish, Buddy.
There was no fish when she dropped it off.
Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, firstfirstfirst you sleep with my exgirlfriend and then you insult my intelligence by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?
Hey, I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...
Would you look at what I'm doing here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangelo?
That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinking it was like a fleet.
You really ok with it?
Oh honey, I'm fine.
Oh, yay. Ok, about that two.
What? All right, what about my two?
Well, it just seems like a really small number.
And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sow? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with.
But you've only slept with two people.
Oh wow. You know I love you too, right?
Now I do.
Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paolo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knockknock jokes.
God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was...
Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all.
I mean therethere's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex?
Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
But, what you and I have is so much better. Ok, we have tenderness, we have intimacy, we connect. You know, I swear, this is the best I have ever had.