So I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth. And since it's Rachel's birthday, and we want to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon. Agh!
Question. Why do we always set the parties where you poach things?
You want to be in charge of the food committee?
Question Two. Why do we always have parties with committees?
Yeah, really. Why can't we just get some pizzas and get some beers and have fun?
Yeah! Yeah, I agree. You know, i think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside. And I'm just not sure we are.
Alright. You guys don't want it to be special? Fine! You can throw any kind of party you want.
Joey, they're not real!
I start miles beneath the surface of these things. Okay? They're fake. See? Honk, honk!
Wow, it's...it's like porno for clowns!
I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
OK. Um...so I still have to invite Dylan and Emma and Shannon Cooper.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Um, no Shannon Cooper.
Why not her? Because she um.... she steals stuff.
Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.
Joey, that is horrible.
Hey, I liked her. Alright? Maybe, maybe too much. I don't know. I...I guess I just got scared.
Oh, my god! I'm sorry, I didn't know.
I didn't think anyone would buy that. Okay!
Hi, honey. How did it go?
It was the graduation from hell.
You know, my cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.
You know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's graduated from college. Nobody thought she would.
It's a true testament to what a girl from Long island will do for a Celica.
So what happened?
My parents happened.
All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly and not talk about the divorce. But noooo!
They got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. Agh!
You know what? You know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next eight hours.
OK. So I guess we don't invite her parents.
Well, how about just her mom?
Why her mom?
Because I already invited her.
Woo, woo, did you ask Stacy Roth?
Ay, can't invite her. She also steals. So does her roommate.
Okay! Here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?
Okay, we're not having birthday cake. We're having birthday FLAN.
It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.
Oh, that's nice. Happy birthday, Rachel. Here's some goo!
Dr. Green! Oh, my God! It's Rachel's dad. What are you doing here?
What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
No, no, the father can. But um...since I am the roommate, I can tell you she's not here. And I'll pass along the message. Okay? So byebye.
Oh! You're having a party! !!
No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of people Rachel knows.
Um, this is Phoebe, and Chandler and Joey. I'll never remember all of that.
So um...what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it?
This isn't your first surprise party, is it, sir?
The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus.
So, basically just a Chinese guy.
Hey! Dr. Green, why don't you come with me. We'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed.
All right. That sounds like a twoperson job.
Well, my goodness! What was that?
Sandra, I am so sorry, I thought you were Rachel and we weren't ready for you yet.
You thought I was Rachel?
Yes, because um...you look so young.
And because you're both, you know, white women.
Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?
No! No, I'll take that for ya.
Oh, well, thank you. Okay. Such a gentleman. Thank you.
Oh! It all looks so nice, so festive. The balloons. Oh, the funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was driving...
Haha, that's great, hahaha! I can't wait to hear the rest of it, you know. But I really have to go to the bathroom. So...Hey, come with me.
What? Yeah, yeah, we'll be like gal pals, you know, like at a restaurant. It'll be fun! Come on. Come on!
I didn't see...
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
OK! Think. Think. What would Jack and Chrissy do?
Okay, now your coat is safely in the bedroom...Okay! We can come back out in the living room.
So um, Joey and Chandler, I...I think it's time you take Dr. Green over to your place.
Um...Yes, absolutely. Um...why again?
Because that's where the party is, you goon!
See, this is just the staging area. Right, it's the staging area. This is more than anything else. This is staging area.
This is clearly in the wrong apartment. You can't...