Ok, Chandler, Mon, there's only one banana nut muffin left.
Oh, I ordered mine first.
Yeah, but I'm, I'm so much faster...
Give it to me.
Give it to me.
Uh, ok, you can have it.
There you go, enjoy your coffee.
That was there when I got here.
Hey, you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
You went out with a guy in the Navy?
Yeah, I met him when I uh was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?
No. No, he is my submarine guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together.
Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.
So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time?
That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
Oh no, what happened?
Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it.
Well I've had it.
Yeah, I've had it.
Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. Oh look!
Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Croce's Leroy Brown.
Monica...Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.
What're you doing?
I'm just waiting for you sweetie.
Are you remaking the bed?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, the way you did it was just fine.
Then, you're redoing it because...
If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
You're pretty much running that risk either way.
Ok, you see, the duvet tag shouldn't be at the top left corner, it should be at the bottom right corner.
Oh, well that's not so crazy.
I'm just easing you in.
Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
But don't you need experience for a job like that?
It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
Hey Chandler, here's this morning's projections.
Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.
Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.
Where do you work?
Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much...processing any more.
I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
Fleischman's group. Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches. Hahaha...
Haha. Are all you processors dorks?
Oh, this lipstick looks just great on you.
You look fabulous honey, you really do.
Yeah? Are you sure, really.
You see, you look beautiful. For god sakes, dim the lights.
I, I, I'm hideous.
It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnacles on your butt.
Hey baby, I'm back...
Hey Ryan, what's up? ?
What's going on?
Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
Chicken or small?
Chicken. Which is so ironic considering I'm a vegetarian.
Why aren't you at home in bed?
'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
I'm sorry, I never had 'em.
If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
Can I please see your face?
Nope. You don't wanna see a face covered with pox.
Your face could be covered with lox, I wouldn't care.