Ross: I'm gonna use the cushion. Yeah.
Ross: Ok, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her and roll her over to her side of the bed. And then you roll away. Hug for her! Roll for you.
Chandler: Ok, the old hug and roll.
Ross: Yep. Ok, one question. Shoot. You're pretending the pillow's a girl right?
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Rachel: You're so pretty.
Phoebe: Hi! Hey, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Joey: You talked to him. Are you crazy?
Phoebe: Ok, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it, don't spray it.
Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but just 'cause he thought I was Ursula.
And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Chandler: Umm, not feeling better about Malcom.
Phoebe: Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a teensy bit carried away, you know.
And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.
Ross: Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean.
Phoebe: Ok, I asked for the news, not the weather.
Monica: Hey guys. Hey Mon.
Monica: Joey, this is for you. It's blackberry currant. Aww. Ohh!
Chandler: Ok, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place butt naked, or, or a big tub of jam.
注释：butt naked：一丝♥不挂的; 赤♥裸♥裸的。
Joey: Put your hands together.
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Joey: No more jam? !
Rachel: Well, what happened to your jam plan?
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
Chandler: Well, you're gonna need much bigger jars.
Ross: What are you talking about? I'm talking about me having a baby.
Ross: What? Are you serious?
Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life.
So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Ross: Well, aren't you forgetting something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad!
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Chandler: That's what's stupid?
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers, you know? And there are places that you can go to get that, stuff.
Rachel: Down at the docks again?
Janice: Night night Bing-a-ling.
Chandler: Night-night...Janice. 'Look at all that room on her side, you can fit a giant penguin over there. That'd be weird though. Ok, hug and roll time.
I'm hugging, I'm hugging, you're rolling, and...yes! Freedom!
Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm!
Time for the old tablecloth trick. One fluid motion. Quick like a cat. And one, two...three! Here's my binoculars.
Phoebe: Oh, great. Great. You're doing great, you know real strong. Going strong. Keep going.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park.
And these are Mad Libs, they're just for fun.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. What's this?
Malcom: Oh, this is the log I kept, recording her every movement. You wanna hear something from it?
Phoebe: Um, not even a little bit.
Malcom: It's about you.
Phoebe: Oh, ok then.
Malcom: I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me even though I'm such a loser.
And then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Phoebe: Good. So what were you thinking?
Malcom: I was thinking what it'd be like to kiss you.
Phoebe: Really? No. Oh.
Malcom: See that's just something I said now, so that maybe I could kiss you. Oh, ok.
Chandler: No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.
Monica: Ok, sperm donor number 03815, come on down!
Ok, 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.
Chandler: You mean there's more than one of us?
Ross: You can't do this, Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna...
Monica: You're gonna what? I'm gonna tell mom.
Rachel: Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy. Crazy.
Monica: What? ! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to do something...
Ross: Oh, it's not the ideal way...
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It-it makes me ache, you know?
Joey: Check it out! ! Jam crackers I mean!
Monica: Ok, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy.
He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only...boy. Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks rule!'
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule!