Ross: I'm gonna use the cushion. Yeah.
我还是用垫子好了。-耶。好，你在床上，她在你旁边，抱着你。
Ross: Ok, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her and roll her over to her side of the bed. And then you roll away. Hug for her! Roll for you.
现在，你等她逐渐睡着，然后你抱住她，然后把她滚到床的另一边。然后你，你就滚到旁边去。抱住她。自己滚到旁边去。
Chandler: Ok, the old hug and roll.
就像以前的“拥抱与翻滚”。
Ross: Yep. Ok, one question. Shoot. You're pretending the pillow's a girl right?
哦。-好，只有一个问题。-说。-你把枕头当作女生，对吧？
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
记得小时候，你妈会把你送到电影院给你一罐果酱和一根小汤匙？
Rachel: You're so pretty.
你真漂亮。
Phoebe: Hi! Hey, Phoebe.
嘿！-嘿，菲比。
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
你知道那个跟踪我的人吗？我今天跟他说话了。
Joey: You talked to him. Are you crazy?
你跟他说话？你疯了吗？
Phoebe: Ok, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it, don't spray it.
第一，我没有疯 第二，用说的，别用喷的。
Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but just 'cause he thought I was Ursula.
反正他叫做麦尔康，他也不是在跟踪我我是说，他在跟踪没错，但他以为我是乌苏拉。
And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
所以他不敢上前来跟我说话因为有禁制令。
Chandler: Umm, not feeling better about Malcom.
我还是对麦尔康没有好感。
Phoebe: Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a teensy bit carried away, you know.
不，他不是疯子。他只是个非常热情，极度浪漫的家伙，只是有点过火了。
And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.
我们处得很好，而且他很可爱。
Ross: Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.
天啊，你竟然对跟踪你姐姐的人有感觉。
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
我要帮他忘记乌苏拉的一切。就像乔伊跟她约会后，我为他做的一样。
Joey: Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean.
我没有跟踪她。
Phoebe: Ok, I asked for the news, not the weather.
我是问新闻，不是问天气。
Monica: Hey guys. Hey Mon.
大家好。-好。
Monica: Joey, this is for you. It's blackberry currant. Aww. Ohh!
乔伊，这是你的，这是黑莓红醋粟酱。-哇哦！
Chandler: Ok, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place butt naked, or, or a big tub of jam.
注释：butt naked：一丝♥不挂的; 赤♥裸♥裸的。
乔伊，我得问你。影印店的那个女孩，全♥裸还是你要一大缸果酱？
Joey: Put your hands together.
你把两只手放在一起吧。
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
你慢慢吃啊，那是最后一批。
Joey: No more jam? !
没有果酱了？！
Rachel: Well, what happened to your jam plan?
你的果酱计划呢？
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
我算过了，我每罐得卖17元才能赚回来。所以我有个新计划，就是生小孩。
Chandler: Well, you're gonna need much bigger jars.
那你可能需要很大的罐子。
Ross: What are you talking about? I'm talking about me having a baby.
你们在谈什么？-谈我要生孩子的事。
Ross: What? Are you serious?
啥？-你是认真的吗？
Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life.
是啊。果酱计划让我开始，掌握自己的生活。
So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
所以我就想，什么事对我最重要？因此我就想出，生小孩这个计划。
Ross: Well, aren't you forgetting something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad!
你是不是忘了什么？那个家伙叫什么？叫“爸爸”！
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
我花了28年，找到一个 想与他共度终身的男人。如果我还得再等28年，我就得56岁才生小孩。那样实在太愚蠢了。
Chandler: That's what's stupid?
那样叫愚蠢？
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers, you know? And there are places that you can go to get that, stuff.
我不需要一个真正的男人，只要他几只会游泳的小家伙。而且你可以在某个地方，得到那些小家伙。
Rachel: Down at the docks again?
又要去码头了吗？
Janice: Night night Bing-a-ling.
晚安，宾宝贝。
Chandler: Night-night...Janice. 'Look at all that room on her side, you can fit a giant penguin over there. That'd be weird though. Ok, hug and roll time.
晚安珍妮丝。看看她那一边的位置！都可以放一只大企鹅了。不过那样会很奇怪。要开始“拥抱与翻滚”了。
I'm hugging, I'm hugging, you're rolling, and...yes! Freedom!
我正在拥抱。你在翻滚，然后…太好了，自由了！
Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm!
除了这只手臂以外！我被困住了，手臂卡住了。
Time for the old tablecloth trick. One fluid motion. Quick like a cat. And one, two...three! Here's my binoculars.
该玩以前那种桌布游戏了，一个快动作像猫一样矫捷。一、二三！这是我的双筒望远镜。
Phoebe: Oh, great. Great. You're doing great, you know real strong. Going strong. Keep going.
很好，你做得很好很不错，继续吧。
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park.
这是我的夜视镜。这是我在公园里看她时，假装阅读的书。
And these are Mad Libs, they're just for fun.
这些是填词游戏，只是打发时间用的。
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. What's this?
哦，好吧。这是啥？
Malcom: Oh, this is the log I kept, recording her every movement. You wanna hear something from it?
这是我写的日志，记录她的一举一动。你要不要听听看？
Phoebe: Um, not even a little bit.
我一点也不想听。
Malcom: It's about you.
是跟你有关的。
Phoebe: Oh, ok then.
那好吧。
Malcom: I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me even though I'm such a loser.
我今天遇到菲比。她对我很好，即使我真的是个败类。
And then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
当我走回家时，我不断想着她。虽然很怪，却是很棒的感觉。
Phoebe: Good. So what were you thinking?
很好。你在想什么？
Malcom: I was thinking what it'd be like to kiss you.
我在想亲你是什么感觉？
Phoebe: Really? No. Oh.
真的吗？-不。-哦。
Malcom: See that's just something I said now, so that maybe I could kiss you. Oh, ok.
那只是我故意说的，这样我才能亲你。-好啊。
Chandler: No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.
不，不用了。我刚吃了一罐芥末。
Monica: Ok, sperm donor number 03815, come on down!
好，捐精者编号03815，来啰！
Ok, 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.
好，他是6尺2寸，170磅。他形容自己是男性的吉娜戴维丝。
Chandler: You mean there's more than one of us?
你是说除了我们之外还有别人？
Ross: You can't do this, Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna...
你不能这样做，莫妮卡，如果你这么做，我会...
Monica: You're gonna what? I'm gonna tell mom.
你会怎样？-我会告诉妈。
Rachel: Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy. Crazy.
很抱歉，他是对的，我爱你，可是你真的疯了。-疯了。
Monica: What? ! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to do something...
为什么这样就叫疯了？就算这不是理想方法
Ross: Oh, it's not the ideal way...
这根本不是
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It-it makes me ache, you know?
嘴巴在动，我还在讲话！这样可能不太理想，但我真的准备好了我看到班看着你的样子让我心好痛，你知道吗？
Joey: Check it out! ! Jam crackers I mean!
你看看！！果酱饼干！
Monica: Ok, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy.
好吧，这个如何？27岁，意大利裔美国人。
He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only...boy. Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks rule!'
他是个演员，在皇后区出生，好大的家庭！有七个妹妹，他是唯一的男孩。天啊，个人评论写着，纽约尼克队万岁！
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule!
对啊，纽约尼克队万岁！