Rachel: All right, look, here's the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, ok.
So, I'll invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.
Ross: Look, hon honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesn't work.
Rachel: Ok, look, Ross, I realize that my father is difficult, but that's why you have got to be the bigger man here.
Ross: Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldn't make any difference, except that I could pick your father up and say 'Like me! Like me, tiny doctor!'
Rachel: Ok, well can't you just try it one more time Ross? For me? For me?
Ross: Rachel, one brunch is not gonna solve anything. You've gotta face it, ok we're never gonna get along.
Rachel: Ok, well you are just going to have too, ok? Because I already got a mother and a father who cannot stay in the same room together, ok?
I don't wanna have to have a separate room for you too!
Ross: Ok, ok, ok. I'll get the bagels.
Monica: What's this?
Phoebe: Isn't it cool? Varoom! Varoom!
Monica: This is not the bed I ordered!
Phoebe: I know, you must've won like a contest or something!
Monica: Phoebe! Why is this car in my bedroom?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, ok? I I wasn't looking, and the store says that they won't take it back because you signed for it.
Monica: When did I sign for it?
Phoebe: When I was you! You know what, it's all Joey's fault, 'cause he left his nose open!
Monica: Did you make brownies today?
Chandler: Knock, knock.
Monica: Quick, take off your dress, he won't notice the bed.
Chandler: Hey, I'm going for sushi does anybody want...Whoa whoa, somebody missed the off -ramp.
注释：off -ramp：(高速公路等的) 出口匝道。
Phoebe: It's Monica's bed. What?
Chandler: Ok. It's a race car.
Phoebe: So. This's always been Monica's bed, what you're just noticing now, how self involved are you?
Chandler: Ok, well if this bed isn't new, then how come there is plastic on the mattress?
Monica: Sometimes I have bad dreams.
Student: Look, I just saw my best friend’s brain smeared across the canvas, that's not gonna be me, not me.
Joey: Wow! That was good. That was...Tweezers?
Joey: That was really good.
Student: Thanks, any suggestions?
Chandler: You told him to play the boxer gay? !
Joey: Well, I I might've said super gay.
Chandler: You totally screwed him over.
Monica: Joey, you're this guy's teacher. I mean how could you do this?
Joey: Because, Monica, the guy's so good, and I really, really want this part.
Phoebe: Well, if you really, really want it, then it's ok.
Rachel: Hi Daddy. Baby. Ross.
Ross: Dr. Green. How are you?
Dr. Green: Thanks for dinner last night.
Ross: Thank you, for teaching me a valuable lesson.
Dr. Green: Nice hair. What'd you do? Swim here?
Ross: Ok, that's it, I can't take it anymore.
Rachel: What? What? He's interested in you. He he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here.
Ross: Oh, please. Sweetie it's hopeless, ok, I'm just gonna go. What? !
Ross: Look, look I'm sorry. It's just that...
Dr. Green: Ross? What's with the neck?
Rachel: He's got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor...
Dr. Green: You're still going to that chiropractor, that man couldn't get into medical school in Ixtapa!
Ross: Thank you! That's what I keep saying.
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor. Uh.
Dr. Green: Wait a minute, his name is Dr. Bobby?
Rachel: Well that's his last name. And his first name.
Dr. Green: He's Bobby Bobby?
Rachel: It's Robert Bobby. Dr. Green: Oh.
Rachel: And um, excuse me, he helps me.
Ross: Oh ho please. Ask her how? What'd you need help for?
Rachel: With my alignment. I've got one leg shorter than the other. Oh, my God!
Ross: Argue with that.
Rachel: What? It's true, my right leg is two inches shorter.
Dr. Green: Come on! You're just tilting! Her legs are fine! I know that!
Dr. Green: So, why do you let her go to a chiropractor for? I'm sorry, let her?
Ross: What can I do, she doesn't listen to me about about renter's insurance either.
Dr. Green: Wait a minute, you don't have renter's insurance? ! No.
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other? !
Ross: Hey, would you ah, would you like some juice? I'd love some juice. Thanks.
Ross: Ok. Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
Rachel: Yeah honey, I'm standing right there! Why didn't you just tell him about the mole I haven't got checked yet.
Joey: There will come a time in each of your careers when you'll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor.
I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And I'm ashamed to say that, I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually.
Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him.
Now, he's got a two year contract opposite Susan Lucci, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me, I'm stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on television.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Thank you.
Jester: Uh, may I help you?
Monica: Yeah, hi. I talked to you on the phone, I'm the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed.
Jester: Look, it's like I told you, there's nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
Joey: All right, Jester man, look we wanna see the king.
Jester: Nobody sees the king!
Joey: Oh ho kay, I'm talking to the king.
Jester: Hey! You can't go back there!
Janice: Oh my God.
Chandler: Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom!
Hey hey good looking!
Varrrrrrrrroom. All right, I'll leave. My bed's so boring.