Chandler: Hey, it's me. I know you can't stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought I'd try and apologize over the phone. All...
Chandler: Look I never should've kissed your girlfriend, and I'm...
Joey: Stop calling! !
Voice: Hey! Hey! Hey! This is 92.3, WXRK, K-Rock calling for our $1,000 daily challenge.
Joey: All right!
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything...
Joey: Damn it Chandler! Stop calling!
Ross: Joey-Joey, it's Ross.
Joey: Oh. Sorry man.
Ross: That's all right.
Joey: What's up?
Ross: Uh-not much. Uh I got, I got Chandler here and he's really really sorry-.
Chandler: Aww, turkey! Aww, giving thanks! Aww!
Phoebe: Look everyone, it's the spirit of Thanksgiving!
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
Chandler: They couldn't be worse. I spent eight hours calling him last night, just trying to get him to talk to me.
Rachel: Oh, wow, eight hours? So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets huh?
Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
Rachel: You shouldn't.
Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do Secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift.
And-and there's the added mystery of you know, who gets who.
Ross: Who gets whom. I don't know why I do that. But it is correct.
Monica: . Hey, what's this? What, it's all of your names. Let's pick!
Joey: Hey what's going...
Everybody: No Joey! ! Stay!
Monica: Joey come on! We're picking names for Secret Santa.
Joey: Ok. I invented Secret Santa. You know?
Rachel: What are you laughing at? You're the one who said Die Hard was your idea.
Ross: It was! Don't make me show you the napkin!
Rachel: Well, I'm gonna take a nap, turkey makes me sleepy.
Monica: We haven't eaten yet!
Rachel: I know, but all that work you're doing to get it ready, And I just...
Chandler: Hey, by any chance did either of you pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, 'cause I wanna trade for her.
Phoebe: I picked her! Oh thank God you want her! Ooh!
Chandler: Wow! Why do you wanna get rid of her so badly?
Phoebe: Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets, it's like impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, let's trade!
Chandler: Oh that's not true! That's not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it!
I remember how much she was crying the day that big dog ran off with it...
Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks 'cause I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it...Her initials...
Phoebe: Ohh. Ok, I'm really bad at initials.
Monica: Wow! You got your shopping done early this year.
Chandler: Yeah well my Camel Cash was about to expire so...
Monica: Maybe you can give it to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.
Chandler: Aw, you know what though, it's kind of a girlie briefcase.
Monica: Who cares? He works in a museum!
Chandler: Hey, what time is it? The big game is about to start!
Phoebe: You don't have to do that, Ross and Joey aren't here, you can watch the parade if you want.
Monica: What is wrong with this freezer? ! Ow! Oowah! !
Phoebe: God, what happened? !
Monica: Oh my God, ice just got in my eye!
Rachel: People are trying to sleep in here!
Chandler: Monica got ice in her eye, and it hurts.
Phoebe: Open it up, let me see.
Monica: Oh, you know what, I can't, it really kills.
Chandler: Well maybe you should put some ice on it.
Phoebe: Ooh, God, it looks bad.
Rachel: Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend!
Chandler: He's really picky about his patients.
Phoebe: Ok, you've gotta go. What's his office number?
Monica: Like I remember his office number! Speed dial 7.
Phoebe: Hi! Yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Monica Geller's eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today? He's out of town, but does she wanna see the on call doctor?
Monica: Yes! !
Phoebe: Yes! She's very excited about that. Ok we'll be right in.
Chandler: Ok, so, uh, who's gonna-who's gonna take her in?
Rachel: I'll go. You can watch the parade.
Phoebe: So cool, 'til Monica gets back, it's like I'm head chef and I get to make all the decisions.
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
Phoebe: Ok, get out of my kitchen!
Chandler: All right! Ok! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once!
I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.
Phoebe: All right I...I gotta call my mom and ask her a left-handed cooking question.
I'm gonna be in there Awh, while I'm gone. Chandler, you're in charge!
Ross: So listen, ah, I picked Monica for Secret Santa, but I'm already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch.
Chandler: Oh you know what, I was already trying to trade for ah, well, you.
Ross: Really? ! Wow! That's-that's so nice, what-what're you gonna get me?
Chandler: I don't know R.G. , I was thinking something girlie for your office.
Ross: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, you don't wanna do that, then you're gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
Ross: Oh, that's not true! I got her lots of stuff she never took back.
Ross: Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year.
Chandler: When was the last time you saw her wear it?
Ross: Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then uh...
Chandler: Big dog?
Ross: What're you doing?
Joey: I'm sending back all this stuff that Chandler bought out of guilt.
Ross: Everything? Even the TV?
Joey: No! I'm putting that in my room.
Ross: Listen, Joey, uh, I know what he did was wrong but don't you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
Ross: It's a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Joey: Five years.
Ross: You've sentenced him? !
Joey: Hey! Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
Ross: Joey, the guy's your best friend.
Joey: No, was, my best friend. Anyway, I don't know why you're pushing for him so hard.
With him out of the way as my best friend, there's a spot open.
Ross: Oh, who? Me?
Ross: Wow! I am honored! You know what I'm gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
Ross: I'd get you to talk to Chandler.
Joey: All right. But if you weren't my best friend.
Kathy: Oh my God, is it really that bad?
IChandler: I walk into a room and he won't even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.
Kathy: I am so so sorry. I feel responsible.
Chandler: It's not your fault.
Joey: Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Gunther: I thought you were Chandler. But umm, one of you is over there.
Chandler: Hey Joe.
Joey: va' fa Napoli!
Doctor: I'll be right with you. Ok? Thanks for coming in.
Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on call doctor?
Rachel: Ooh, so cute, that I'm thinking about jamming this pen into my eye.
Rachel: You have the best luck with eye doctors!
Monica: I know!
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
Monica: Oh no-no, no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke is out of town. The the on call doctor will see me now.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Richard Burke医生是出城了，但要给你看病的是Timothy Burke，他的儿子。
Dr. Timothy Burke: Ready?
Chandler: Hey! I'm sorry! That- where are you going?
Joey: My folks.
Chandler: Oh, uh, when-when're you coming back?
Joey: I don't know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment.
Chandler: What? !
Joey: Yeah, you know uh, at first I thought we could talk about this you know, work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I don't uh...
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that I'll stop seeing her?
Joey: Look, it's not about her. Ok? But seeing you two together just reminds me what you did.
And I don't wanna live with someone who doesn't know what it is to be a friend. So, I'll see you.
Chandler: Hey, look, I know, what it is to be a friend, I just-I screwed up!
Joey: Yeah! You did! And that's why I'm leaving.
Chandler: All right look, if you're not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them!
Ok, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all! And that chick used to be very cute!
Joey: When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down!
Joey: Yeah! But if I would've know what kind of friend you were gonna turn out to be, I wouldn't've worried about it so much! See you around!
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something!
If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down.
Joey: We got a box.
Tim: I remember the last time I saw you, it was the morning I left for college. And you were just standing outside the Dairy Queen.
Monica: Just probably waiting for it to open.
Tim: I gotta tell you, you look great now.
Monica: You look great too.
Tim: You're an excellent patient!
Monica: So how does it look?
Tim: Well, you've got a little scratch on your cornea, you're gonna have to wear a patch for a couple of days.
Monica: Like a pirate? !
Tim: If that helps you.
Monica: Umm, so how long you've been working with your dad? Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Tim: I moved back here a couple of months ago.
Monica: Big family dinner tonight?
Monica: No way!
Tim: I was gonna have Thanksgiving at my girlfriend's.
Tim: But we broke up.
Tim: She-she wasn't ready for a serious commitment.
Monica: Oh. So you made her walk the plank? Guy-ah matey?
注释：walk the plank：就是海盗他们逼着别人走上一块凸出船身板，一步一步跳进水里。因为Monica一会要带上眼罩了，学海盗说话。
Tim: You're not wearing the patch yet.
Monica: I know.
Ross: He's coming here for Thanksgiving?
Rachel: I know, it's sick.
Monica: Why is it sick?
Rachel: Because it's Richard's son! It's like inviting a Greek tragedy over for dinner!
Monica: Ok if it were Greek I would be blind in both eyes. Come on I like him because he's handsome and he's nice and smart and...handsome.
Hey come on, Phoebe, you understand, don't you?
Phoebe: Yeah, I can see why I'd be your best shot but, no. Sorry, I think it's twisted.
Joey: What's twisted?
Monica: Me going out with Richard's son.
Joey: Ewwwww! ! Ew! Ew! Ew!
Chandler: Sounds like a really bad idea to me.
Rachel: Is he ok in there?
Joey: He's fine!
Ross: Hey, you know, Mon, if things worked out between you and Richard's son, you'd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, living in a box! !
Rachel: So now, what exactly is the point of the box?
Chandler: The meaning of the box is threefold. One, it gives me the time to think about what I did.
Two, it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three, it hurts!
Rachel: And-and if he stays in the box you guys would be friends again?
Joey: Let's just say it's a start.
Ross: Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?
Ross: I just wanna check something.
Ross: Now, we'll see.
Chandler: Air hole! Air hole! !
Rachel: Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time.
Ross: The necklace I got you was gold, this is silver.
Rachel: Huh, well, maybe, it uh, it changed.
Ross: Oh my God! You actually exchanged it!
Rachel: Well isn't it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and that I can get a lot of use out of?
Ross: What did you get?
Monica: I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! Hi, Tim.
Monica: Thank you. Ok, come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe.
Tim: Hi, nice to meet you.
Monica: And Joey.
Tim: Hi, Joey.
Monica: My brother, Ross.
Monica: And Rachel. That's Chandler.
Chandler: How do you do.
Monica: Umm, well, he's...
Joey: He's doing some thinking!
Chandler: What happened? What happened? !
Joey: You kissed my girlfriend!
Rachel: Ooh, I like those sunglasses.
Ross: Like 'em, like 'em? Or, I'd like to get store credit for that amount like 'em?
Rachel: Va' fa Napoli!
Va' fa Napoli!
Monica: All right everybody, this turkey is ready!
Tim: Where can I wash up?
Monica: Here, let me show you. Ok, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap.
Tim: Thank you.
Rachel: Fancy soap? I thought we were saving that for the Pope!
Monica: See he's nice. Right?
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you really wanna be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "That's not how your dad used to do it."
Tim: Wow! Everything looks great! Where should I sit?
Monica: I saved you a seat.
Phoebe: Oh, I'll get it.
Joey: That doesn't sound like thinking to me!
Joey: You know I don't think you should be talking at all in there! I think you got too much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!
Chandler: Ok, ok, you got it!
Rachel: Ross, can you pass me the yams?
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joey's got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
Rachel: Will you stop? ! What is the matter with you? !
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, we've got company.
Ross: There's nothing the matter with me. See, I'm not completely devoid of sentiment, see, I have feelings.
Rachel: Ok, fine.
Chandler: You can't tell, but I'm trying to break the tension by mooning you guys!
Joey: All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right? ! This means something to me!
And if it doesn't mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise you're just an idiot in a box!
Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry! This-this means a lot to me! I want you to be my friend again! I swear, I won't say another word tonight.
Joey: So are you gonna start taking this thing seriously?
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? Ok.
Rachel: Don't say that I have no sentiment! This is a movie stub from our first date!
This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed!
This is from the museum the first time we...were together.
Ok, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Ross: I don't know what to say, I'm sorry. Though, you're not supposed to take these.
It's like a million years old, we, we actually, we have people looking for that.
Tim: Hey...mind if I smoke?
Monica: Care if I die? No. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Go ahead and smoke. Ooh, this always happens.
Tim: Here, let me help.
Monica: Thank you.
Tim: You-you have a very beautiful...eye.
Monica: You know all my friends think this is weird.
Tim: Even the one in the box?
Monica: It's not weird, is it?
Tim: You know I-I thought it was gonna be weird, I mean I almost called and canceled, but it really isn't.
Monica: I know! I mean it's like me and your dad, that's a totally separate thing.
Tim: Oh, I totally agree.
Monica: I mean, we're just two people who find each other very attractive. Right?
Monica: Nothing. Nothing.
Tim: No-no really, was-was that not ok?
Monica: No-no-no that was good, it was, that was uh, that was a goood kiss...
Tim: Oh my God! It didn't remind you of...
Monica: Oh don't say it!
Tim: No, but it did! Didn't it? !
Tim: Oh man! !
Monica: I know!
Monica: Oh my god. I am sorry, I am. .so sorry.
Tim: It's ok. I mean, it wouldn't be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring.
Monica: Oh. You know what's even worse? My friends were right.
Tim: You know what the worst thing is for me, is that you actually remind me of a younger version of...my mom.
Joey: I'll get it.
Kathy: Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am...
Joey: That's ok. Chandler's the one I'm mad at so-
Kathy: Well, I'm-I'm still sorry. Is he here?
Joey: In the box.
Phoebe: Oh, he-he can't talk right now.
Kathy: Why not? What's going on?
Phoebe: Well he's-he's trying to show Joey how much he means to him.
Kathy: By being in a box?
Rachel: Joey had reasons.
Phoebe: They were threefold.
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, you not being able to talk might actually make this, easier. Listen umm...
Kathy: Listen, I don't wanna be someone who comes between two best friends.
I just, I can't stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I don't wanna be the cause of that.
So, I don't think we can see each other anymore. I'm gonna go to my mom's, in Chicago, I'm gonna stay there for a while.
Kathy: I think this could've be something really amazing, but you know this is probably for the best. You know?
Kathy: I'm gonna miss you. Goodbye, Chandler.
Joey: Open the box! !
Rachel: What? !
Joey: He can still catch her! Come on, get out of there! Get outta there!
Joey: Yeah, we're gonna be fine! Get out!
Joey: Yeah, you did some real good thinking in there.
Chandler: Man, this is...
Joey: Now go! 'Cause you can still catch her! And Merry Christmas from your Secret Santa!
Joey: All right, who got Chandler? 'Cause I uh, need to trade.
Rachel: Oh, he sees her!
Monica: Oh, he's catching up to her!
Phoebe: Oh, she sees him! Oh, they're hugging!
Ross: He's taking her purse!
Joey: Uhh, that's not them. I'm gonna go call the police.
Phoebe: Oh, there they are!
Phoebe: All right, get a room.