Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
Ross: Sorry I'm late, did I miss anything?
Phoebe: Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in his mouth.
Ross: 15? Your personal best!
Phoebe: So, where were you?
Ross: Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met thisthis girl on the train going to a museum upstate.
Chandler: Oh, yeah! How did you meet her?
Phoebe: Oh, which museum?
Phoebe: No, answer his.
Ross: Ok, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so she'd have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Chandler: Were you so late because you were burying this woman?
Ross: No, I'm getting back now because she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but she's like, two and a half hours away.
Chandler: How can she be great if she's from Poughkeepsie? Ok, that joke would've killed in Albany.
Joey: Done! I did it! Heh, who's stupid now huh?
Chandler: Hey, look at this! They're lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
Phoebe: Umm, that paper's two weeks old.
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash? ! Aw, I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I can't believe I missed it.
Rachel: Hey, you know, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year!
Next thing you know it'll be Valentine's Day, then my birthday, then bang! before you know it, they're lighting that damn tree again.
Ohh, I want somebody!
Rachel: You know, I want a man!
Rachel: I mean, it doesn't even have to be a big relationship, you know, just like a fling would be great.
Chandler: Really? ! I didn't think girls ever just wanted a fling.
Rachel: Well, let me tell you something, it's been a long time since I've been flung.
Joey: Well, I know what I'm giving you for Christmas.
Chandler: You know what? There's some nice guys at my office, you want me to set you up?
Rachel: Yeah! Wait a minute, it's been a long time that I've been single. How come you never offered this before?
Chandler: Well, I have a girlfriend, I'm-I'm happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy.
Rachel: Ok! No accountants. Oh, and no one from like legal. I don't like guys with boring jobs.
Chandler: Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?
Phoebe: What's wrong Mon?
Monica: Ohh, everybody at the restaurant still hates me.
Joey: Is it because of the review you wrote or something new? It's the review.
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, and then I get off work and I find out that they wrote this on my chef's hat.
Phoebe: Hey, maybe they meant to write, 'Quiet, bitch.'
Rachel: Hey honey! What's the matter? Fine, just trying to be nice! Whoa!
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since I was in kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me.
Monica: I mean they're trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something I've been waiting for my whole life.
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, you're the boss! Why don't you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
Monica: Oh, I would love too, but I can't! I mean I just can't, you know that I'm not good at confrontation.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director,
I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody.
Then they would all know, who is boss.
Joey: Hey, Mon! I'm not doing anything, why don't you fire me?
Monica: It's a good idea! Uh, do you know how to waiter?
Joey: Good enough to get fired.
Monica: All right, you're hired!
Joey: Hey! That must be why I got fired last week! Does this Orson Wells guy direct Burger King commercials?
嘿！这就是我上个礼拜被炒的原因了！Orson Wells是不是也掌管Burger King（著名汉堡包连锁店）的生意？
Chandler: I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? Og-ee-op, I'm not asking for me, I'm...you know, I'm-I'm not gay, I'm not asking you out. I'm not-I'm not-I'm not gay!
Drew: I didn't think you were gay. I do now.
Chandler: See my friend-my friend, Rachel, she, wants to be set up.
Drew: Ahh, you know, I just got out of a big relationship, I'm not looking for anything serious.
Chandler: Oh, you know what, that might be ok even if it was just kind of a fling, that might be all right with Rachel.
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Chandler: Oh, by the way, that is her full name.
Mike: Oh wow! I'm free for her!
Drew: Wait a second! I didn't say I wasn't free!
Mike: Hey, Chandler, why don't we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?
Drew: Hold on, you know I just got a box of Cubans, maybe I bring 'em by your office around uh, five?
Chandler: Oh well, that's uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure!
Mike: Maybe, before the game, we could enjoy some eight year old small batch Basil Hayden's.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what that is, but uh, that's a pretty nice jacket. Kinda like that tie too. Keep your pants on man!
Phoebe: Hey! You guys, I'm writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you wanna hear it?
Monica, Rachel, and Joey: Yeah! Of course!
Phoebe: Ok. Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the dreidel, Rachel!
Rachel: Pheebs, that's great!
Phoebe: Oh, yay!
Rachel: But you know umm, Rachel doesn't rhyme with dreidel.
Phoebe: I know but it's so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
Joey: What're you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Cable. Maypole.
不会呀？“瑞秋”可以跟好多词压韵啊。象：“Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole.”(百吉饼、邮件、监狱、能够、五月柱)
Phoebe: All good, thanks. Uh, do you maybe have like a nickname that's easier to rhyme?
Monica: Oh, didn't your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Rachel: Oh yeah!
Phoebe: Pumpkin? Yeah. But did he ever call you like, Budolph?
Chandler: Hello, children!
Chandler: Have I got the 50 guys for you!
Rachel: Really? !
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed them this picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! They're buying me drinks! They're giving me stuff!
Joey: Sure! Where are the seats?
Chandler: Wherever! I've got like 20!
Rachel: So will I like any of these guys?
Chandler: Well you know what, I'm gonna uh, play the field just a little more.
Chandler: Guys are signing over their 401s to me.
Phoebe: You-you work with robots? !
Chandler: Yes. Ok, there's this one guy, Patrick, I think you'll like him, he's really nice, he's funny, he's a swimmer.
Rachel: Ohh, I like swimmer's bodies!
Chandler: Oh, yes, and his father invented that magnetic strip on credit cards.
Rachel: Oh, I like credit cards!
Chandler: See, I'm not bad at this fixing up thing, huh?
Rachel: Well, so what does he do?
Chandler: He works in the Fine Foods division.
Rachel: Your company has a fine foods division?
Chandler: It's a big company, I don't- if you- I...
Joey: Now, wait a second! You make food and robots?
Phoebe: No! No, the robots just work for them.
Monica: All right, I'm gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Joey: Yeah, lady, I do! I got a problem with that!
Monica: You want a problem? I'll give you a problem!
Joey: Oh, what are you gonna do? You're gonna fire me?
Monica: You bet your ass, I'm gonna fire you! See you later.
Ross: Oh, wow! I should get going. I've-I've got a date tonight.
Chandler: Oh yeah! With who?
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
Ross: Yeah. Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I met, and I-I can't decide between the two of them.
You know the one from Poughkeepsie, even though she's a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun.
But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. You know she's, well she's-she's just as pretty, I guess she's smart, she's not fun.
Phoebe: She's no fun, why do you wanna date her at all?
Ross: Well, I-I wanna give her another chance, you know? She lives so close.
And, at the end of the date, the-the other time, she-she said something that was- if she was kidding was very funny.
On the other hand, if she wasn't kidding, she's not fun, she's stupid, and kind of a racist.
Chandler: Hey man!
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, how was your first day working at the restaurant?
Joey: Oh, what happened to your fancy chef's jacket?
Monica: They baked it. I can't take this anymore. I'm gonna call a meeting and I'm gonna fire you tonight.
Joey: You got it! Oh! oh!
Monica: What're you doing? !
Joey: It's still a tiny bit on fire there.
Monica: Oh. Could you, please- I think you got it!
Rachel: Chandler! ! You have the best taste in men!
Chandler: Well, like father, like son.
Rachel: Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious.
Chandler: Really? ! I-I thought you weren't even looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for something kind of a fling.
Rachel: Well, you know, possibly. You didn't tell him that, though? Right?
Chandler: Ummmmmmmm, no.
Rachel: You told this guy that I was looking for a fling? ! You don't tell the guy that!
Chandler: Why not? ! I'd be thrilled if I heard that some hot girl was just looking to get- oh I see.
Rachel: Oh, between you telling him I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first date- oh he's so gonna get the wrong idea.
Monica: Hey, Joey, could you pass the cheese?
Joey: Yeah. Listen, uh, I'd prefer it if you didn't call me Joey. 'Cause since I don't know anyone here, I thought it might be fun to try out a cool work nickname.
A Waiter: Hey, Dragon! Here's your tips for Monday and Tuesday.
Joey: Looks like there's like 300 bucks in this one!
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonight's specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bag—Why is nobody writing these down?
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Monica: Because you're all gonna make up fake specials and make me cook 'em like you did the other night?
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
Monica: Ok, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, uh here-here's the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere...
The Waiter: Can't hear you!
Monica: Positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here.
From now on, it is going to be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that? !
Monica: Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that? !
Joey: No ma'am.
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, it's Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. We did the hat right?
Monica: What the hell just happened? !
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really!
But then, I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking,
"Wow! It's been a long time since I had...327+238 dollars!"
"喔！我好久没拿过~~~（心算中...） 327 + 238块了！"
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-that's why you're here! I've got to fire you!
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how, how about this? You don't fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust,
and then they'll start listening to all the nice things I've been saying about you.
Monica: What kinda things you've been saying?
Joey: Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I wanna fit in.
Phoebe: Happy, happy Chanukah, Chandler and Monica. Merry merry...
Chandler: Oh, you know, you know what Pheebs?
Chandler: I'm not Jewish, so...
Phoebe: So! Ross doesn't really decorate his tree with floss, but you don't hear him complaining do you? God!
Chandler: Bad dream?
Ross: I wasn't sleeping.
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebe's song about?
Ross: The one with the cat. I gotta go, I've got another date.
Phoebe: Oh, so did you pick one yet?
Ross: No, it turns out that the one from uptown was making a joke. But it was a different joke than I thought- it wasn't that funny. So I'm still torn.
Phoebe: Well look, you know you don't really like the one from uptown and you're too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie,
so I say you just end them both. Ok? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and you break up with her,
and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, you're done!
Ross: You know what, you're right. Thank you.
Phoebe: Umm, well I had a similar problem when I lived in Prague.
Phoebe: So much you don't know.
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Chandler: I did! I absolutely did!
Rachel: You idiot! !
Chandler: I'm sure you're right, but why?
Rachel: You don't tell a guy that you're looking for a serious relationship! You don't tell the guy that! Now you scared him away!
Chandler: Oh, man. I'm sorry, I'm so-so sorry.
Rachel: You know, you should never be allowed to talk to people!
Chandler: I know! I know!
Rachel: Oh! See just I'm- now I'm right back where I started! Aww, this sucks! Being alone, sucks!
Chandler: Well, you know, you're-you're gonna meet somebody! You're a great catch!
You know when I was telling all those guys about you, I didn't have to lie once.
Chandler: Yeah! You graduated magna cum laude, right?
注释：magna cum laude：(美国)以优异成绩(三等优异成绩的第二等)。
Chandler: Uh, doesn't matter. Hey, you know what, I got two tickets to tonight's the Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Rachel: Cute guys in little shorts? Sure.
Chandler: Well, actually it's a hockey team, so it's angry Canadians with no teeth.
Rachel: Well that sounds fun too. Thank you.
Chandler: Ok. Have you ever been with a woman?
Rachel: What? ! Chandler, what is the matter with you? !
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.
The Conductor: The next station is Poughkeepsie. Poughkeepsie!
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: Ross? Ross! Wake up! Ross! Ross! Ross! ! Ross! !! Ross! !! !
Monica: I need more swordfish. Can you get me some more swordfish?
Kitchen Worker: I don't speak English.
Monica: You did a minute ago!
Kitchen Worker: Well, I don't know what to tell ya!
Monica: Ok! Very funny! Somebody let me out please? ! Come on, I'm-I'm cold! And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out!
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Monica: That's not funny.
The Waiter: Well that's not true.
Monica: I'm a good person. And I'm a good chef, and I don't deserve to have marinara sauce all over me!
You know what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all of you just...
Joey: Hey! Chef Geller! Yeah that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Monica: You do?
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasn't listening then, that's all.
Monica: Well, if you want a problem? I'll give you a problem!
Joey: What are you gonna do? You're gonna fire me?
Monica: You bet your ass I'm gonna fire you! Now get out of my kitchen! Get out! !
All right! Anybody else got a problem? How about you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
The Waiter: No.
Monica: How about if I dance around all covered in sauce? Huh? You think it's funny now?
The Waiter: No, it's really good.
Monica: Good! Now take those salads to table 4, And you! Get the swordfish! And you! Get a haircut!
The Conductor: Last stop, Montreal. This stop is Montreal.
Woman On Train: I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.
Woman On Train: We're at my stop. But would you like to have coffee?
Ross: Are we really in Montreal? !
Woman On Train: Yes we are. So, coffee?
Ross: Coffee sounds great. Wait, so, so you live in Montreal?
Woman On Train: Oh, no. But it's just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.
Joey: Well I guess I should've thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller!
Joey: Yep! Looks like it's gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
Phoebe: So, umm, this is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me.
Went to the store Sat on Santa's lap, Asked him to bring my friends All kinds of crap,
Said all you need is To write them a song.
Now you haven't heard it yet So don't try to sing along,
No, don't sing along, Monica, Monica Have a happy Hannukah
Saw Santa Claus
He said hello to Ross, And please tell Joey
Christmas will be snowy
And Rachel and Chandler
Happy holidays, everybody!
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