Chandler: Woa-oh. Cereal killer.
Monica: Cereal killer?
Chandler: Hey, come on, I say more dumb things before 9 a. m. than most people say all day.
Phoebe: Nothing. I-I can't find anything that I wanna eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous!
I'm telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cake- ooh! Cake! No.
Monica: Aww, honey I'm sorry.
Phoebe: God! Ooh! What is that smell? It's coming from the bathroom. Ooh!
Chandler: Wow! Pregnancy does give you some weird cravings.
Phoebe: It's me. It's Phoebe. Listen there's something in here I wanna eat, what-what, what smells so good?
Joey: Is it the shampoo? It's guava.
Joey: Oh! Wait-wait! Is it my bologna sandwich?
Phoebe: Yes. Yes. Yes. I can't believe it! The baby wants bologna! Baby wants me to eat meat? I can't eat meat!
Joey: Oh, wait-wait! Maybe it's a pickle? !
Chandler: What're you writing?
Rachel: Well, Joshua's coming in tomorrow and since I don't have the guts to ask him out, I'm gonna sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Chandler: Oh yeah? Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you never go out of style- what did you throw away?
Chandler: Hi guys!
Emily & Ross: Hi. Hi.
Joey: Hey. Hey Emily, what've you guys been up to?
Ross: Oh, we went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs at the Cooper-Hewitt museum.
Chandler: Without me?
Emily: My uncle dragged us there. But, actually it turned out to be really interesting.
Emily: They were so ornate and beautiful, I mean look at that!
Monica: I don't know how museums work in England but, here, you're not supposed to take stuff.
Emily: I uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there. It's a joke.
Chandler: Anyone for more tea? No, just me then.
Monica: Hey Ringo. Every time Emily's around, you talk like her. Would you please cut it out.
Chandler: I think you like it. I think you can't resist me when I do it. You want to eat me up like a cream "pumpy."
Monica: What? !
Chandler: All right, look, I don't know all the words.
Emily: Right, I've got to be off, see you. Buh-bye then.
Chandler: Buh-bye then.
Joey: Hey so you guys seem to be having a good time huh?
Ross: Oh, yeah, she's-she's amazing. And-and she's so much fun, you know. And, you know what? When I'm with her, I'm fun!
I do things like-like run off to Vermont, and-and you guys saw the doorknob.
I even signed up for helicopter classes. She's leaving in two days, I don't have to do it.
Monica: Oh no, two days, you must be bummed.
Ross: Yeah, she's gotta go back to London. But you know what?
I've been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and-and that's it. You know?
Joey: Hey that's what all my relationships are like.
Chandler: Yes, but in Ross's case, they both know in two weeks that's it.
Ross: Oh Hello, Hello!
Phoebe: Yes! I know! I know! Yeah!
Phoebe: So, the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger so that maybe it would think it was getting meat,
you know? And I got nauseous.
Chandler: Maybe that's because soy-burgers suck! But I'm no obstetrician...
Phoebe: Now being pregnant is hard on your tummy.
Joey: Hey, but at least you got that cool, pregnant lady glow.
Phoebe: Oh, that's sweat. You throw up all morning, you'll have that glow too.
Rachel: Oh, here's that trench coat that you wanted.
Joshua: Oh great, great! Wow! Yeah, it's comfortable.
Joshua: Man, I could really flash somebody in this thing.
Rachel: Oh no-no, no-no, they don't want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store.
Joshua: Why not? !
Rachel: Well, because, we got a lot of...
Joshua: You know, they ruin it for everybody.
Rachel: I know!
Joshua: You know, I wore that cashmere sweater on a date last night.
Joshua: Yeah, it was the first date since uh, since divorce.
Rachel: Well, congratulations, so do you love her?
Joshua: No, no, no, she's nice, but, you know, it just made me realize that I'm just, I'm just not ready to be dating, you know?
Rachel: Huh. Well, uh, that's uh, that's interesting.
Joshua: Hey-whoa-hey-hey, what was that?
Rachel: Oh, it's just an anti-theft device.
Joshua: Then uh, what's-what's this?
Rachel: Well you need that, you need that too 'cause obviously, a thief could just tear this right up.
Rachel: Oh. Listen, we, we have to have a party tonight! Actually, we have to have one in five minutes, everybody cancel your plans.
Chandler: What're you talking about?
Joey: Yeah, what's going on?
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But it's actually for Joshua.
Chandler: That sucks! Nobody's ever thrown me a bon-voyage-Emily party.
Rachel: Look, he said he's not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I've created the perfect opportunity to seduce him!
Ross: Well, as much as I'd like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I aren't gonna be here.
All right? I mean, she's gonna come by first to say goodbye, and then I've got a whole special evening planned. So sorry, no party.
Rachel: Surprise! !!
Chandler and Joey: Surprise! !
Emily: No one's ever thrown me a surprise party before!
Rachel: Well, it was all Ross's idea.
Emily: You're so sweet! And I'm so surprised!
Ross: You really didn't know?
Chandler: Why are you over here if Joshua is all the way over there?
Rachel: Uhh, because I'm trying to play hard to get. Oh, quick, he's looking over here, say something funny.
Chandler: Like what?
Joey: What-what-what is so funny?
Chandler: I said "Like what?"
Joey: Now that's a thinker.
Rachel: Ok, You know what, You know what? This-this playing hard to get thing is not working. Umm, hand-hand me those cherries. Ok. Ok. Hi!
Rachel: Care for a cherry?
Joshua: Oh, no thanks.
Rachel: No? You know, I can tie one of these into a knot using just my tongue.
Joshua: You ok? You all right?
Ross: So we should probably, get going soon.
Emily: Oh, but the party's only just getting started!
Ross: Yeah, but we-we have to be at the Four Seasons for drinks and, oh! 15 minutes and then uh you know, then The Plaza for dinner.
Emily: So why did you plan a party at the same time?
Ross: No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. It's usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, I'm so surprised- goodbye!"
Emily: Ross, I'm having such a great time! Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dress up like little, old ladies and hold make-believe tea parties.
Ross: Monica said that did she? Oh, oh, did she tell you that when she was little she was partially responsible for new legislation regulating the strength of swing sets?
Phoebe: Ooh, yeah. Then what are you gonna put on top of that?
Joey: A little salami.
Phoebe: Ooh yeah, yeah. Then umm, what goes on top of the salami?
Phoebe: Oooh, yeah. You're a genius.
Rachel: Oh, could somebody give me a hand with the zipper?
Monica: You changed?
Rachel: Yeah, I decided, I needed my lucky dress.
Monica: And lucky means, more cleavage?
Chandler: Does for me.
Rachel: Ohh, God! Look at him, he's so cute. I just wanna go over there, grab him, and kiss him! How can I kiss him and not letting him know that I like him?
Joey: Oh hey! I know how you can get him, take off your bra.
Joey: There was a scene in Footloose...
Joey: Yeah-yeah, yeah, with that-that uh, plumber girl...
Chandler: She was a welder.
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or...Anyway, she takes off her bra under the shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
Monica: Or, if you wanna kiss him, umm, you could use mistletoe.
Rachel: It's not Christmas!
Monica: Or Spin the Bottle?
Rachel: And he's not 11!
Emily: Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of all of you.
Rachel: What? You're leaving? !
Ross: Yes, we have something we have to get to.
Joshua: Uhh, yeah, I think I'm gonna take off too.
Rachel: No! You guys, you can't leave yet! You have to stay, we-we got the whole big thing planned!
Ross: What big thing?
Rachel: So, Spin the Bottle works like this: I spin the bottle, lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther.
All right. Who wants to go first?
Emily: I'll go.
All: Hey! Emily!
Joey: Welcome to America.
Monica: Gosh, two in a row! You gotta use your tongues now!
Rachel: Yay! Emily!
Chandler: What are the odds? What are the odds?
Ross: Ok, that-that's enough! You know, let, let's, let's someone else play.
Joey: If you didn't wanna play, then why did you come to the party?
Chandler: All right. I'll go. I'll go. Somebody loose. Somebody loose. Story of my life. Story of my father's life.
Rachel: Ok, my turn! !
Phoebe: Oh my God! ! The baby just kicked!
Rachel: It's ok! It's ok! It kicked once, it'll kick again!
All: Oh my God!
Rachel: All right, well, every-everybody just remember where they were sitting.
Rachel: A bug.
Phoebe: You know it doesn't matter how much I'm craving it. You know why I'm never gonna eat meat? 'Cause it's murder, it's cold-blooded murder.
Chandler: There's a Phoebe on my sandwich!
Joey: Phoebe, what-what're you doing? !
Phoebe: I can't help it. I need the meat. The baby needs the meat.
Joey: All right, look, You know how-you know how when you're dating someone and you don't want to cheat on them, unless it's with someone really hot?
Phoebe: Yeah, totally!
Joey: All right. Ok. Well this is the same kind of deal. If you're gonna do something wrong, do it right!
Emily: I'll be back in a minute.
Chandler: O-ok. She...
Ross: What're you doing to me? ! I mean, I'm trying to get Emily out of here and you keep talking to her being all interesting and making her laugh!
From now on, I don't want you to be funny anymore.
Chandler: Huh, You know what? Rachel wants me to be funny, you don't want me to be funny. From now on, I'm gonna be funny sometimes, and not funny others!
Joey: You feel better now?
Phoebe: Yeah, but at what cost? Six more months, three meals a day, I'm gonna eat like, You know millions of cows.
Mommy cows, daddy cows, baby cows. . No. No, I will never eat baby cows! No veal! !! Ooh, but veal.
Joey: Hey, what if I said, I could even things out for ya, meat-wise.
Joey: Well, I eat a lot of meat, right?
Joey: Well, suppose, until the baby's born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-you'd just be eating my animals.
Phoebe: Joey, I can't believe you would do that for me.
Joey: Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. There's no meat in beer, right?
Ross: Ok, we can still make dinner if we skipped the appetizers and asked for our check right away.
Emily: We can't go now. It looks like Rachel's gonna put on a skit.
Monica: Oh my God! Have you lost your mind?
Rachel: No-no-no-no-no! I am finally thinking clearly. My lucky dress wasn't working out too well for me, but for four years, this baby never missed.
Monica: Rachel-Rachel-Rachel I-I cannot, I can't let -, actually I kinda wanna see what happens.
Joshua: Nice uh, costume.
Rachel: Ohh, yeah, well I wanted to give Emily a big American goodbye cheer. So ok! Ready! Ok! Gimme an 'E!'
Rachel: Gimme an'M!'
Rachel: Gimme an 'I!'
Rachel: Gimme an 'L!'
Rachel: Gimme a 'Y!'
Rachel: What do you get? Emily! ! Emil - Whoa! ! Ok! So that's me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum!
Joey and Monica: You all right?
Rachel: Fine! I'm fine! I'm just losing a tooth, it's no big deal. I have a dentist! You know.
I'm gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. Ok, what do I do now? What do I do now?
Monica: I think you're done.
Joey: Ok, time to take off the bra.
Joshua: Uhh, that was really uh great, but I-I gotta take off, actually.
Joey: Take the bra off.
Rachel: All right, come on, let's go get your coat.
Gunther: Rachel is my girlfriend.
Joshua: So, this was uh, really fun.
Rachel: Oh, yeah! Real fun. You know, this bra...Really, bothering me. Uh, you know, this used to be my bedroom. Yeah.
A lot of memories in here, lot of memories. If these walls could talk, You know what they'd say? Wanna hear some memories?
Joshua: Need uh, need a little hand there?
Rachel: Oh no-no-no! No, I got this all under control.
Joshua: You really don't seem like you do. That's...
Rachel: Ughhhh! ! Forget it! This is, this is not how this is supposed to happen.
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Rachel: Can you not look at me when I say this? I thought, that if I could get you here, I could seduce you.
Joshua: Uh, excuse me?
Rachel: Seduce you. Seduce you.
Joshua: Huh. Oh, uh! Uhh, I-I don't wear, suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
Rachel: Well, I'm sorry, I thought you needed 'em!
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
Rachel: Why? !
Joshua: Because I-I like you.
Rachel: You like me?
Joshua: Yeah! I mean you're-you're beautiful and smart and sophisticated- a lot of this isn't you know, based on tonight.
Rachel: Yeah but-but-but you liked me! Oh my God, I can't believe this, all this time, I liked you and you liked me!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no but! No-no, but's never good! Let's just leave it at, I like you and you like me.
Joshua: Ok uh, however...
Rachel: Oh, now see that's a fancy but.
Joshua: My marriage like just ended, and I'm really not ready to get into anything yet.
Joshua: I'm sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Rachel: Ohh, there you are. I was looking for you before. Joshua's gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Ross: It's ok. She's still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, it's too late to do any of the stuff I had planned, so...
Rachel: Oh, Ross, I'm sorry. I completely ruined your evening.
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool of myself.
Ross: Helps a little.
Rachel: Is there room on that step for a pathetic loser?
Ross: Yeah, have a seat.
Rachel: I'm so sorry.
Ross: That's ok, I mean it was just a, two-week thing anyway, I just didn't want it to end this way, you know?
Rachel: Well, maybe you didn't want it to end?
Ross: What do you mean?
Rachel: You seem to really like her.
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week, thing, you know no commitment.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you,
looking through Monica's photo albums, I mean you don't do that if you're just in it for two weeks.
Ross: You think?
Rachel: Yeah, you've got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and you're sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Ross: Hey, you're right.
Ross: Thanks. What photo album was it?
Rachel: I don't know, it was you and a bunch of albino kids.
Ross: Oh my God! Those weren't albino kids, that was computer camp! Rach!
Rachel: You're a pathetic loser, right?
Chandler: Oh-ho, yeah!
Rachel: My gosh, Joshua!
Joshua: Look, all those things I said about, not being ready...
Rachel: They're not true?
Joshua: No, they're-they're all true.
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I love that but.
Rachel: Um, do you wanna go inside and get some coffee?
Rachel: Ok. Every time.
Joey: Oh, what you got there?
Joey: Oh-ho-ho, yeah! Hey! You know what goes good with that?
Phoebe: Hm-mm, corned beef.
Joey: Oh, I was gonna say bologna, but that's much better. Hey how about a little of that smoked turkey?
Joey: Oh mama! Uh when-when is the baby due?
Phoebe: Six months.
Joey: Ugh. Hey! Now if a cow should die of natural causes, I can have one of those right?
Phoebe: Not if I get there first.