Chandler: Hey! Wow, it is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum.
Phoebe: Ha-ha. No, it's just I'm so pregnant that I- my guitar doesn't fit anymore. So I thought til I'm not, I'm just gonna play all my songs on this drum. It sounds really cool!
Chandler: All right.
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. Ok. smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Joey: Wow, Pheebs! That sounds great!
Phoebe: I know! I know, and I've only been playing for like an hour!
Alice: Phoebe! Phoebe! Hi! Hi!
Phoebe: Hey! What're you doing here?
Alice: Umm, actually, I came down to ask you a big favor.
Phoebe: Oh, well, don't tell me you wanna keep more of your stuff in my uterus.
Alice: No. No. No. Ok, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and uh Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank Jr. Jr.
Chandler: Wouldn't that be Frank the III?
Alice: Don't get me started. Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honored if you would name the other boy baby.
Phoebe: Wow! That's so nice! Oh! Oh! Cougar.
Alice: You think about it.
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you don't think your son will think it's yours and be horribly traumatized?
Ross: Hey, mommy can have a wife, daddy can have a bra.
Emily: Ohh, it's time to go.
Ross: Oh, no-no-no, see, that-that clock's a little fast, uh, we, we still have 17 minutes. Huh, what can we do in 17 minutes? Twice?
Emily: Well that's ambitious.
Ross: Ok, uh, you can ignore that.
Emily: That's Carol with your son!
Ross: Uhh, believe me when he's older, he'll understand.
Ross: I'll be right there. Hello! Hello! Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
Susan: Hey, it's so nice to finally meet you! -Emily: Me too!
Carol: Ohh, you know, Susan's gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Susan: Oh yeah, I'm so excited, I've never been there.
Emily: Oh, well, I'll show you around.
Susan: Oh that'd be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can make any suggestions...
Emily: Oh, there's tons of terrific stuff- I'll go with you!
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, look at you two, bonding, making us late for the airport so...
Emily: Are you all right?
Susan: Oh, he's fine. He's fine. It's just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesn't like me.
Ross: What? Oh come on! That's-that's...true.
Chandler: How did we...lose?
Chandler: Hey! Do we have a baby name yet?
Phoebe: Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book and found nothing! I want a name that's really, like, you know, strong and confident, you know? Like-like Exxon.
Chandler: Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.
Joey: Ooh-ooh, Pheebs, you want a strong name? How about, The Hulk?
Phoebe: No, I'm-I'm not sure about Hulk, but I like the idea of a name starting with "The."
Joey: Oh, you want a good name, go with Joey. Joey's your pal. Joey's your buddy. "Where is everybody?" "Well, they're hanging out with Joey."
Chandler: Hey, you know what, if you're gonna do that, if you're gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler.
Oh, come on! Chandler's funny, he's sophisticated, and he's very loveable, once you get to know him.
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joey's loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, he'll be there.
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, he might be a little late, but-but, he'll be there. And he'll bring you some cold soda, if what you need him for is that you're really hot.
Joey: Hey, What do ya say? What do ya say?
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. But, all right, I don't- maybe I will just name him The Hulk.
Joey: I knew I shouldn't've mentioned it! That's what I wanted to name my kid!
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua for the first time tonight, which one of these would you wanna be wearing.
Monica: You know what? It really creeps me out choosing other people's sex clothes.
Rachel: Sorry. I'm just so exited! I've been waiting for this for a month! I got my hair colored! I got new sheets! I'm making him a very fancy meal.
Rachel: What am I making him by the way?
Monica: Well, you're making him a frieze salad with goat cheese and pine nuts, wild rice, roast asparagus, and salmon au croup.
Rachel: well, I thought I was making him filet mignon.
Monica: Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant.
And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
Rachel: Wow, I really get crabby when I cook.
Monica: I don't know why you're going through all this trouble anyway? He's a guy. You could actually serve the potato and he'd still wanna have sex with you.
Rachel: Yeah, well, that is not how I operate.
Chandler: We gotta get a new game.
Ross: So uh, Emily called last night...
Chandler: And now you're giving me the message?
Ross: Turns out that Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, they're going to the theatre together! They're going to dinner! They're going horseback riding!
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, ok? For, for like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is, is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
这个情节太熟悉了，我和卡萝分手前整整半年，我整天只听到 “我朋友苏珊好聪明”“我朋友苏珊好风趣” “我朋友苏珊好棒”。
Chandler: You actually think that something could happen between Emily and Susan?
Ross: Hey, they're going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Y' know they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playful—didn't you see Personal Best?
Joey: No, but I'm gonna!
Chandler: Hi! Hi! You're crazy! Okay? This is Emily. Emily is straight.
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely. I don't like the name Ross.
Ross: What a weird way to kick me when I am down.
Phoebe: No! No! I just-I meant for the baby!
Ross: Oh. What's wrong with Ross?
Phoebe: Well, it's just you know that something like this would never happen to like The Hulk, you know...
Ross: Actually that-that's not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found...you know, ugh, never mind, my girlfriend's a lesbian.
Phoebe: So, I decided I'm definitely gonna go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: Oh! Oh, oh, what, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
Chandler: Raymond Chandler.
Joey: Someone you didn't make up!
Chandler: Ok, there are no, famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
Joey: Yeah, that guy really hurt us.
Phoebe: Well, how about a compromise then, ok? What if it's, you know, Chanoey?
Chandler: Ok, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, he'll never be President. I mean there's never gonna be a President Joey.
Joey: All right look man, I didn't wanna bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life!
It's not even a name; it's barely even a word. Ok? It's kinda like chandelier, but it's not!
And then you put it together with Bing and forget about it! It's a stupid, stupid non-name!
Chandler: Wow, you're, you're right. I have a horrible, horrible name.
Joey: I'm sorry man, I didn't- I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Joey: So I guess it's Joey then! I mean-
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Rachel: Ohh, please! Cooking soothes me. Ahh. So, dig in!
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: Oh my God!
Rachel: Oh I know, my God, this is so- this rice is so - I am so good.
Joshua: Behind you?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. They used to live here; sometimes they migrate back over.
Joshua: Is there ah, is there some way that they could uh, not be here. It's just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
Rachel: Yeah, sure, ok. Ok.
Joey: Hey, how did you do that? ! Come on in.
Rachel: All gone! So, farm birds, huh?
Joshua: Yeah, it's-it's my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I would've told you about it, but I didn't know they would be here.
Joshua: So, all right.
Rachel: Ok. So, can I serve you a little of - What? What's? What?
Joshua: Nothing I uh, it's just that I know that they're still out there.
Rachel: They're across the hall! I mean that's two doors away, it's gonna take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Joshua: Ok, that's-that's not funny. Uhh.
Rachel: Ok, you know, would you feel better if we went someplace else? I mean we could pack all this stuff up and you know go to your apartment.
Joshua: Oh, they're working on this week, it's a total mess. But uh, I'm staying at my parents' house, we could go there.
Rachel: Your parents'?
Joshua: Yeah, they're out of town.
Joshua: It's a huge place, and it's got this gorgeous view of the park, it'll be very, very romantic. What do you say?
Rachel: Yeah that works.
Joshua: Yeah, they-they, they can smell the fear.
Carol: Hey! How's Ben?
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, he's sweeping.
Carol: Hey, Ben! Hey!
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
Carol: Ooh, yeah! She said she's having sooo much fun with Emily.
Ross: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, by the by, did it uh, did it ever occur to you that, I don't know, maybe they might be having a little too much fun?
Carol: What's too much fun?
Ross: You know, the kind of fun, you and Susan had when we were married.
Carol: Oh my God, you are so paranoid!
Ross: Am I? !
Ross: Am I? !
Carol: I can't speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, that Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. you know?
Say-say they're coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, they're laughing, you know, someone innocently touches someone else...There's electricity, it's new. It's exciting.
Are you telling me there isn't even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Ross: OH MY GOD! ! I didn't really believe it until you just said it! !
Joshua:...and even though none of the other kids believed me, I swear to God, that duck pushed me!
Rachel: Wow! This place is fabulous!
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Rachel: Whoa-whoa, there's two living rooms? God, growing up here, this place must've been a real babe magnet.
Joshua: Yeah, well, it would've been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Rachel: Ohh, oh, you should know, this place is a real babe magnet. Wanna make out?
Joshua: You know, here's an idea. Why don't uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later?
Rachel: That sounds like a plan. Umm, is there a place I could go freshen up?
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, just down the hall, and uh, second door to your left.
Mrs. Burgin: Oh, hi, darling!
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what're you guys doing here?
Mrs. Burgin: Oh, well we cut the trip short.
Mr. Burgin: France sucks!
Joshua: Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I've got a date here.
Mrs. Burgin: Oh, say no more!
Mr. Burgin: We'll just grab some food and take it with us right upstairs, and we'll be right out of your hair.
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didn't even get to Italy?
Mr. Burgin: Yep, sucks!
Rachel: Hi you!
Joshua: Oh my God!
Rachel: I know, I can do more than cook.
Mr. Burgin: I like her. She seems smart.
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents...
Rachel: Ohh! So nice to meet you.
Mr. Burgin: Hi.
Mrs. Burgin: Hello. Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries.
Rachel: What? This-this, no, oh no, no-no-no, this is not—that's-that's not what it is. See, see, okay, I work in fashion, see and-and, this is a real dress actually.
It's-it's, they're-they're wearing it in Milan, so part of my job is to wear the clothes, and then I see how people respond, and then I report back to my superiors at Bloomingdale's, so, And obviously in uh, in-in this case, I am going to report back, "USA not ready."
Mrs. Burgin: Maybe in L.A?
Joshua: There you go.
Mr. Burgin: So, have you kids eaten yet?
Rachel: Well, we were gonna do that after- I mean umm, next.
Mr. Burgin: Well, we're starving, why don't we just all go get something to eat?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, well...Yeah, no use wasting this baby, just lying around the house.
Mr. Burgin: So...We go eat.
Mr. Burgin: You'll wear that. We'll be eating, and of course, you'll be wearing that.
Joey: Dude, I am sorry about what I said!
Chandler: No, no, you're right, it is a ridiculous name!
Joey: It's not that bad.
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
Joey: So, you're just Bing?
Chandler: I have no name.
Phoebe: All right, so, what are we supposed to call you?
Chandler: Ok uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint.
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull off Clint.
Chandler: Ok, so what name am I cool enough to pull off?
Phoebe: Umm, Gene.
Chandler: It's Clint. It's Clint!
Joey: See you later, Gene.
Phoebe: Bye, Gene.
Chandler: It's Clint! Clint!
Joey: What's up with Gene?
Monica: You wore your nightie to dinner?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, was when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Monica: Oh, no!
Rachel: Yeah, it's all right. I got nice boobs.
Ross: So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
Ross: So! Poetry? Susan's gay! They're being gay together!
Monica: Emily's straight.
Ross: Oh, wake up!
Phoebe: Wow, Carol really messed you up!
Ross: Excuse me?
Phoebe: Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous, sycophant. All right, so I don't know what sycophant means, but the rest is right.
Ross: Look, I don't know what you're talking about, I am not a crazy, jealous person.
Rachel: She's totally right! When we were together, you got all freaked out about Mark and there was nothing going on.
Monica: This totally makes sense!
Ross: It does not!
Monica: Oh, sure it does! In high school, you weren't jealous at all even though all your girlfriends were cheating on you!
Phoebe: All right, all right, so up until '92-93 he was very trusting, then '94 hit, Carol left him and bam! Paranoid city!
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely!
Monica: This is so much fun!
Ross: This is not fun!
Monica: Look, all we're trying to say is, don't let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Phoebe: The '92 Ross wouldn't.
Ross: Um. I still think I was right about that whole Mark thing. Well, hmm.
Rachel: What- yeah- what, you know what? I hope Emily is a lesbian.
Phoebe: Drum roll.
Chandler: Ok. Ok. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John?
Joey: Nah, you're not tall enough to be a Mark, but you might make a good Barney.
Chandler: All right look, I am serious, ok? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse.
Phoebe: You're actually going through with this?
Chandler: Hey, look, this name's been holding me back my entire life. Ok, it's probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women...
So, as of 4 o'clock tomorrow, I'm either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name!
In fact- yes, I'm, I'm sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, I'm-I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna name the baby Chandler.
Chandler: Really? !
Phoebe: Yeah, but you have to keep the name too!
Chandler: Ok. Thanks.
Chandler: You wanna hug it out?
Phoebe: Yay- oh- yay! Ok, I gotta go tell Frank and Alice! Right now! -Chandler: Ok!
Phoebe: Ooh, uh...
Chandler: Bye, Pheebs!
Phoebe: Ok, bye!
Chandler: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ross: Oh, it's nice luggage.
Carol: I was gonna say...
Emily: Hey! I missed you.
Ross: Oh, I missed you too.
Susan: Hey, thanks for everything, I had such a great time.
Emily: So did I.
Ross: It's no tongue.
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