Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? I'm out. I'm out.
Phoebe: Ew-eww! Undies!内♥裤！
Rachel: All right! Whose are they? Whose are they?
Ross: Well, not mine!
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.
Chandler: See? Joey's, they're Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Joey's!
Ross: Why are they here?
Joey: I don't know uhh...Well I'm Joey. Yeah, I-I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes.
Rachel: Well, get 'em out of here! What's wrong with you?
Rachel: Take 'em! Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Joey: Chandler? A word.
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This's gotta stop! Ahh! And tighty-whiteys! What're you,8?
Monica: Aw, thank you Joey, so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Ok, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me!
Joey: Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom, I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And well one thing led to another and...
Monica: Wow! And around the ankles, you know that is a tough spot.
Joey: Yeah, it was! All right, listen, I can't...
Chandler: All this lying has been hard on us too.
Joey: Oh-yeah, yeah-oh-yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier!
Chandler: Well, yeah, actually.
Joey: Meanwhile, I get Rachel shoving your underwear in my face and asking when she can come see me star in Ugly Woman!
Monica: We'll try to be more careful ok? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Chandler: I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Chandler: Help us!
Joey: All right! But, you do it with me once.
Joey: Didn't think so.
Joey: Can we please drop this?
Rachel: But I don't get it. I mean does anybody else just take off their underwear when they're hot?
All: Hi Phoebe!
Rachel: What're you reading?
Phoebe: Umm, Withering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
Phoebe: Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took!
Phoebe: You know, and I just thought this time I go for something, you know, a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.
Rachel: Honey that sounds like fun.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with! Rachel: Ok.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ok- ooh, but are you gonna have time to read it?
Rachel: Well I read that in high school.
Phoebe: This is gonna be so much fun! Ok-shhh, I have to finish.
Rachel: Uh, but what time does the class start?
Joey: What's wrong buddy?
Ross: Someone at work ate my sandwich!
Chandler: Well, what did the police say?
Ross: My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone just ate it!
Chandler: Ross, it's just a sandwich!
Ross: Just a sandwich? Look, I am 30 years old, ok? I'm gonna be divorced twice and I just got evicted!
Ross: That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on inmy life!
Chandler: That's a nice sweater vest.
Monica: Ok, look, I-I have enough stuff for-for one more sandwich, I mean I was gonna eat it myself, but...
Ross: That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much. I-I-I still can't believe someone ate it! I mean, look, I-I left a note and everything.
Chandler: Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Ok?
Joey: I'm surprised you didn't go home wearing your lunch.
Phoebe: Ok, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
Ross: Really? ! So, so what would you say Pheebs? Stuff like uh, "Keep your mitts off my grub?"
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Phoebe: Ok, this will keep 'em away from your stuff.
All: Whoa! Ohh!
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad-ass!
Phoebe: Someday I'll tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
Phoebe: Well, he stabbed me first!
The Teacher: The Bronte sisters were really remarkable women for their time. They lived in a patriarchal society.
Rachel: Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
Rachel: So, Pheebs, what is the book about?
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Rachel: Well yeah, but then I remembered I started it and there was this pep rally and I was, I was on top of the pyramid but anyway-umm, what is this book about?
Phoebe: Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England.
Phoebe: Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism.
The Teacher: How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see-, Rachel Green?
Rachel: Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story.
The Teacher: Well, that's sort of a given, but yes. Anyone else?
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, symbolism! And uh, the-the uh, wildness of the moors, which I think is-is mirrored in the wildness of uh Heathcliff's character.
The Teacher: Excellent! What Rachel has shrewdly observed here...
Phoebe: You completely stole my answer!
Rachel: Well, honey, that was pretty obvious.
Phoebe: Well how would you know? You didn't even read it!
The Teacher: What do you think? You, in the blue shirt.
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many possible answers.
The Teacher: Would you care to venture one?
Phoebe: Would you care to venture one?
The Teacher: Are-are you just repeating what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
The Teacher: All right, let's move on.
Phoebe: Ok then.
Phoebe: Ok, but then why didn't you just say that you hadn't read the book?
Rachel: Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you!
Ross: Phoebe! Your note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me.
Ross: Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
Ross: That was the water fountain! Ok?
Ross: Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to fit my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people and you can get anything you want.
Ross: Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
Cynthia: This is really fun! I've been wondering if you ever are gonna ask me out.
Joey: So you uh, still wondering?
Cynthia: No, we just went out.
Joey: You're smart. I like that.
Cynthia: Oh, candles! What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God!
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, wait-wait-wait!
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that, you were gonna video tape us having sex on the first date!
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said umm- Oh my God. God, look, you were actually gonna...
Chandler: What is going on here?
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What're you, what're you sick?
Joey: I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films.
Joey: You guys promised you'd be more careful! I mean, come on! The good Joey name is being dragged through the mud here!
Monica: We're so sorry.
Joey: Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!
Chandler: No-no-wait! There's gotta be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your adult film class.
Joey: Yeah, I like that. But no-no, how does that explain why Rachel found my underwear at your place?
Chandler: Oh- I don't know.
Joey: Well, get ready to come out of the non-gay closet!
Monica: Ok, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
Joey: All right. Hey, but it better make me look really, really good. Oh, and another thing, the video camera? Nice!
Dr. Leedbetter: Umm, Ross. May I have a word with you?
Ross: Uh, of course, Donald.
Dr. Leedbetter: We've been getting reports of some very angry behavior on your part.
Dr. Leedbetter: Threatening letters, refusal to meet deadlines, apparently people now call you, mental.
Dr. Leedbetter: We want you to speak to a psychiatrist.
Ross: Oh no, you-you don't understand. Ugh, this is so silly. Umm, this is all just because of a sandwich.
Dr. Leedbetter: A-a sandwich?
Ross: Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches.
Ross: Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here...
Dr. Leedbetter: Oh, you know what?
Dr. Leedbetter: I-I'm sorry. I, I-I-I believe I ate that.
Ross: You ate my sandwich?
Dr. Leedbetter: It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.
Ross: Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a Moist Maker?
Dr. Leedbetter: No, I...
Ross: Do you perhaps remember seeing a note on top of it?
Dr. Leedbetter: There may have been a-a joke or a limerick of some kind.
Ross: That said it was my sandwich!
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Ross: You-you-you-you threw my sandwich away! My sandwich? ! My sandwich? !
Rachel: Hi! So umm, what's this book about?
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either? !
Rachel: Well, I was gonna, but I uh, accidentally read something else.
Rachel: Vogue! Hey, so tell me about this Jane Eyre woman.
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
Rachel: Oh come on Phoebe! Don't be such a goodie-goodie!
Phoebe: Fine! Ok, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.
Rachel: A cyborg? ! Isn't that like a robot? !
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
The Teacher: Sorry I'm late. Let's get started. So, what did everybody think about Jane Eyre?
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she actually had some very interesting insights.
The Teacher: Oh. Well go ahead Rachel.
Rachel: Uhm, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, I-uh, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre, was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
The Teacher: If you're talking about feminism, I think you're right.
Rachel: Yeah, well, feminism yes, but also the robots.
Monica: Hey. Ok, so, umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview.
Chandler: You're naked in this picture!
Monica: I know.
Ross: Hey Chandler. Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you ok?
Ross: I'm fine! I saw a psychiatrist at work today.
Ross: On account of my rage.
Chandler: Which if I may say, right now, is out of control.
Ross: He gave me a pill for it.
Monica: A pill?
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me that I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer.
Ross: And I thought it was a good idea. So I took it.
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
Chandler: And you're ok with that?
Ross: I don't know. It's going to be weird not having a job for a while, but I, I definitely don't care about my sandwich.
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I hate it when they make me see the shrink at my office.
Chandler: You know, he's always like "Oh, maybe your colleagues will like you better if you like yourself better." Who needs that?
Monica: You do.
Chandler: I know.
Rachel: Ugh, it's just so embarrassing! I can't believe you just let me go on and on and on like that!
Phoebe: I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop.
Rachel: That was not funny!
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Ok? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was gonna be something we could do together! You know, I thought it would be fun!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but you know I also wanted to learn.
Phoebe: You know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Rachel: Ohh. Oh, so you really wanted to learn. Yeah, you know, Pheebs, I just wanted to have fun. Ohh, you know who you should go with?
Monica: I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: Oh my God! That's Monica!
Joey: Oh no-no-no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no!
Rachel: You get away from me! You sick, sick, sick, sicko!
Ross: What's going on?
Rachel: Joey has got a secret peephole!
Chandler: Oh no! no! no!
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! Then he eats chicken and then he looks at them!
Ross: Dude! That's my sister!
Monica: Give me that!
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Ok? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Joey: No! I am not a pervert! Ok? It's just...I just...Kinda...
Chandler: All right, look! Look. I think I can explain this.
Joey: Thank you!
Chandler: Joey's a sex addict.
Joey: What? No I'm not!
Monica: It's ok! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Joey: No! No! I am not a sex addict!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you could also explain it with the truth!
Rachel: Well, what is the truth?
Ross: Yeah, what's-what's up?
Phoebe: Yeah, what's going on?
Joey: I slept with Monica.
Chandler: Well let's...let's see what everybody thinks of that?
Monica: Oh no!
Ross: You slept with my sister?
Joey: Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London.
Ross: This is not good for my rage.
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Joey: Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Rachel: Ok, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Joey: Ahh- oy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night, in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!
Chandler: Are you sure Joe? Are you sure you're not just a sex addict?
Joey: No! And if anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
Joey: That makes sense!
Rachel: And the video camera?
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Joey: But sadly I could not be enticed.
Phoebe: Oh, Monica, this has to stop now.
Monica: I know. I know. I know. I-I will, and I would appreciate it if we all could just, you know, just drop it immediately, and forever.
Joey: Ok. That is, if you can resist me.
Monica: I'll give it my best shot.
Joey: Good luck.
Ross: Unbelievable! I mean you really kept Joey's underwear? ! Why? Why would you do that? !
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh?
Joey: All right, now, I'm gonna get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs.
Phoebe: I really thought you were making a good point. I mean you know, until you got cut off.
A Female Student: No, what's up with that girl Monica?
Phoebe: I don't know! I didn't come with her!
Monica: Hey everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Carl to give us a test next week!
All: Test? !
Monica: Oh come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! We should have essay questions!