Joey: What're you doing?
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, uh, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. And top shelf: expired products.
Joey: Why are you doing this?
Ross: Because I am bored...Out of my mind. I've already been to the bank, the post office, and the dry cleaners.
Joey: Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. You gotta spread it out a little, you know? Haven't you ever been unemployed?
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!
Joey: Hey, don't get religious on me, ok. A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know.
Joey: Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh? Look, come here...sit down. Ready? Watch Ahh! And then Ohh, yeah! Huh?
Ross: So what, we just sit?
Joey: Ohh, no, no. We're not gonna just sit. Watch.
Chandler: Hello, Chandler Bing.
Joey: Hello Mr. Bing...I love you.
Chandler: Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! It's been six months! It's not funny!
Joey: I can see you Mr. Bing. You look sexy in your new suit.
Chandler: Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone!
Joey: And that's Wednesday. Ohh.
Phoebe: Hey, you guys, guess what?
Chandler: The British are coming?
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. Since it's Christmastime. I'm gonna be one of those people collecting donations.
Phoebe: Yeah, I already have my bell and later on I get my bucket.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be out there spreading joy to the people. I mean, last year, I spread a littlejoy but not really enough. So, this year, I'm gonna do the whole city.
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular.
Phoebe: That's weird. You're starting to sound a lot like Chandler lately.
Chandler & Monica: That is so not true.
Joey: So Pheebs, where are you doing all your bell ringing?
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macy's.
Phoebe: Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good corner to a rookie, but I'm the only one who can sing "MerryChristmas", in 25 languages. I lied!
Rachel: Oh my god. Ok you guys, here's Danny. Watch. Just watch this. See? ! Still pretending he's not interested.
Rachel: Ok, he's coming over. Just pretend like we don't know him. We've forgotten who he is.
Danny: Hey guys. All minus
Rachel: Hey Danny.
Rachel: Oh, Danny! Hey!
Monica: Oh, God. Danny? You know Rachel? She's-she's nice. She's not bad to look at, right?
Rachel: Thanks, Mon.
Danny: Well, of course.
Monica: Do you wanna go out on a date with her?
Rachel: Monica? !
Danny: Ab-absolutely! Is Friday ok?
Monica: Friday is perfect, she can't wait.
Danny: On the date, I will be able to talk to her directly, right? See you Friday.
Rachel: Ok. What the hell was that? You know what? Don't answer me. I have a date with Danny.
Chandler: All right, it's 4:30. I guess my lunch break is over. What're you guys gonna do?
Ross: Well I guess if you're going back to work I'll probably just hang out. You know, make some calls.
Joey: How can I not get the part? The play was about a 29-year-old Italian actor from Queens.
Estelle: Well, Telia Shire suddenly became available.
Joey: She's a woman!
Estelle: What can I say? She nailed it.
Joey: Ok, is there anything else?
Estelle: Well, you're just gonna say no again but...gay porn.
Phoebe: Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad. Allô! and Merry Christmas. Ohh thank you sir. Here's some joy.
Monica: Come to see how it's going.
Phoebe: Well, it's going ok.
Monica: Well good, here, let me help you out.
Phoebe: Oh, thanks!
Phoebe: That is a new suede jacket? It looks really expensive.
Monica: Yeah. I...guess.
Phoebe: Just get your nails done?
Monica: Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Ok?
Phoebe: Ok! Thanks! Happy Holidays, here's your joy.
Monica: Thank you.
Phoebe: Thank you! Happy Holidays. Wait, you can't take the money out.
The Man: I'm making change. I need change for the bus.
Phoebe: But, can't you leave the dollar? This money is for the poor.
The Man: I'm poor! I gotta take the bus!
Phoebe: Ok, Seasons Greetings and everything, but still...
The Man: Bite me, Blondie!
Phoebe: Oh, I'm gonna give him something besides joy, just...
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Ross: I'm sorry, man. Hey, you know what you should do? You should make something happen for yourself.
Ross: You know, like-like write a play. Write a movie! Huh? I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys?
Joey: Come on Ross, be realistic, you know? If I did write something, yeah, what are the chances I could getthose guys to star in it?
Joey: Wait a second, I could star in it!
Ross: Or that.
Joey: I can't write! You know I mean I-I-I'm an actor. I could-I could act, like a writer. Here.
Joey: But see? Nada. I don't have the discipline that takes, you know? I can't do it.
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Joey: Really? You'd-you'd do that for me? ! Ross: Yeah!
Ross: All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Joey: It's not.
Ross: Or Joseph.
Monica: Hi, what's up?
Rachel: I just saw Danny getting on the subway with a girl and he had his arm around her.
Monica: Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
Rachel: Well you should be, this is all your fault! You meddled in our relationship!
Monica: You had no relationship!
Rachel: No, but I was doing my thing and everything was going according to the plan!
Monica: Oh, God, stop with the plan! All right, so what, so what if you saw him with a girl? Who cares? ! That doesn't mean anything!
Monica:Now look, you're gonna go out on a date with Danny and you're gonna be so charming he's gonna forgetall about that stupid subway girl.
Rachel: She was kinda stupid. You're right. All right, I'm just gonna go on the date. I'm just gonna go on the date. That is the new plan.
Joey: Hey, how do you spell suspicious?
Joey: Because I think this character is gonna be suspicious about stuff.
Chandler: Yes! Chandler Bing, 7! Chandler Bing, 0.
Joey: You're driving me crazy with that!
Chandler: Ok, I'll stop.
Joey: No, don't stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
Joey: Well, you suck! But at least you suck at a man's game now.
Chandler: You wanna play?
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Chandler: Well, so uh, play for the next 30 minutes and then you can write until he gets home.
Joey: All right! But uh, listen, what'd you say we uh crank it up a notch?
Chandler: I'm intrigued.
Joey: All right, all we need is a little lighter fluid.
Chandler: Ok, but be careful ok, because I wanna get our security deposit back.
Joey: Yeah, I think we said goodbye to that when we invented hammer darts.
Chandler: Do you even remember which part of the wall is not spackle?
Joey: Uh yeah, right here.
Phoebe: Thank you, Happy Holiday.
Phoebe: No, that's trash. Young lady, no, you can't...Hey! Stop that young lady, she donated trash!
Phoebe: Hey! The charity is on fire! Help! Oh good! Thank you, I need that. Whoa! What is this? ! It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Ross: All right. A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious.
Ross: That's it? Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! And what is, and what is all this? ! The official rule book of Fireball.
Joey: Yeah, that's the uh, the game we were playing there.
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's great! See you take a tennis ball, a bowl, and lighter fluid Op! Op!
Ross: This is helping your career? ! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor, not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Joey: You're right, you're right, I'll, get back to work.
Ross: And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. Now come on!
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! Ahh!
Danny: I had a really nice time tonight.
Rachel: So did I.I'm really glad Monica asked us out.
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
Rachel: Your sister? Your sister's asleep on the couch? Ohhh! I saw her with you on the subway and now she'sasleep on the couch!
Danny's Sister: Oh, I thought I heard you.
Danny: Oh hey, great, you're up. Rachel, this is my sister Krista. Krista, this is Rachel.
Krista: Nice to meet you. I wish you'd told me we were having company, I'd fix myself up!
Danny: Like it would help.
Krista: You are so bad!
Danny & Krista: You are!
Danny: You are so dead! I'm gonna get you.
Rachel: Uh, it was very nice to meet you.
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! Ok, does this look like a garbage can to you?
Phoebe: Does it look like an ashtray?
Phoebe: Does it look like a urinal?
Ross: So Pheebs, you're gonna go back out there or what?
Phoebe: Well, yeah! But I'm not gonna take anymore crap. Ok? No more Mrs. Nice Bucket!
Monica: Yeah, good for you. You know you're tough, you lived on the street.
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm gonna go back to being Street Phoebe.
Phoebe: Yeah! Oh but, you know what? I can't go totally back because Street Phoebe really wouldn't be friends with you guys. Sorry.
Rachel: Hey, umm, can I ask you guys something?
Monica and Ross: Sure.
Rachel: Uh, I don't have any brothers so I don't know, but uh, did you guys wrestle?
Ross: Oh-oh, yeah.
Monica: All the time. In fact, I was undefeated.
Ross: Uh, you weighed 200 pounds.
Monica: Still, I was quick as a cat.
Rachel: Well, I met Danny's sister yesterday, and uh that was actually the girl on the subway.
Monica: Oh, you're kidding.
Rachel: And yeah, they were very you know...wrestley. But, I guess that's normal?
Monica: We don't, we don't wrestle now.
Ross: Yeah, not since I got too strong for you.
Monica: Too strong for me?
Monica: You wanna go right now? 'Cause I'll take you right now, buddy! You wanna go?
Ross: Oh, fine.
Monica: Ready? Wrestle!
Rachel: Ok, you know what uh, actually, that's great. That helps a lot. Thanks.
Chandler: Guys, come on! Let's go! The puck drops in 20 minutes! Come on, Joe!
Ross: Joey's not going.
Joey: I didn't finish my five pages.
Chandler: Well, why can't you finish them tomorrow?
Ross: Because tomorrow he's redoing yesterday's pages.
Joey: Yesterday's pages did not reflect my best work.
Chandler: Why don't you cut him a little slack? Ok? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some more done.
Ross: I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball.
Joey: Dude, you think Fireball's relaxing, you obviously've never played.
Chandler: The only reason you're doing this to Joey is because you're bored. Ok, it's not his fault that you're unemployed.
Ross: I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!
Joey: Look, look, guys, don't fight.
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this, is because I, am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd bedoing the same thing.
Chandler: Oh, so being a good friend means acting like a total jerk?
Ross: If it does, then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Joey: Hey-hey guys, hey! How about we settle this over a friendly game of Fireball? Huh? I'll go unhook the smoke detectors!
Ross: How about we settle this right now! There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
Chandler: I paid for those tickets!
Ross: No you didn't. You said you would, but you never did!
Chandler: Oh yeah!
Danny: So, we finally get to the top of the mountain and airhead here forgets the camera!
Joey: Oh, you know that same thing happened to me one time.
Chandler: When did that happen to you?
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park, we saw that really pretty bird and I wanted to take a picture, but, I didn't have my camera!
Chandler: Ok. First of all, chasing the Churro guy isn't jogging.
Krista: Oh, this is so good you've got to try it.
Danny: Oh, damn! I got it on my pants.
Krista: Here, I'll get it.
Krista: We'd better take these off upstairs or that stain's gonna set.
Danny: Yep. I wanted wear these on our date tonight.
Rachel: Oh, great!
Chandler: Ok, bye! Oh my God!
Monica: That was unbelievable!
Rachel: Ok, see? I told you!
Joey: Yeah, wow, sorry Rach.
Chandler: I don't believe they're brother and sister.
Joey: They're brother and sister?
Chandler: So I guess you're gonna have to cancel your date huh?
Monica: And call their mother.
Phoebe: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait a minute, open your hand, let me take a look. Quarter. Dime. Lint? Not interested in that. What's this? Canadian coin? Get outta here!
Phoebe: Whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution!
Phoebe: And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! Hi Bob! I thought I told you to get outta here!
Bob: Uh, Phoebe we've been getting complaints and uh, we're gonna move you to a less high-profile spot.
Bob: Umm, Ginger's gonna take over this corner.
Phoebe: That chick can't handle my corner.
Bob: Look, either you leave, or we remove you.
Phoebe: Fine. All right, I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch.
Danny: Oh, hey Rach! I thought we said seven?
Rachel: Yeah uh, you know what uh, let's skip it.
Danny: What? ! Why? !
Rachel: Umm, look, you-you and your sister seem to have umm, a very special bond, and...
Danny: Oh great! That special bond again! Why do women have such a problem with the fact that I'm close withmy sister?
Rachel: Well, ok, look. I don't- listen, I don't know what's going on here but let's...
Danny: Do-do you, do you have brothers?
Rachel: No, I've two sisters. But one of them has a very masculine energy.
Danny: Are you close with them?
Rachel: No, no, they're not very nice people.
Danny: Ok, listen, I really like you. Ok? I think this could go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, you're gonna let that stand in the way of us?
Rachel: Well, uh, I don't know. See when-when you put it that way you know it does sort of...
Krista: Danny! Hurry up! The bath is getting cold!
Rachel: Yeah, ok, I'll see you later.
Chandler: Oh hey! There's some kids playing in the street, you wanna go down there, give them a project, ruin their day?
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
Joey: Hey, guys! I was at the library all morning and I already finished my five pages for today!
Chandler: Great! Now, we can go to the Rangers game! Last night!
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Ross: I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh?
Chandler: Yeah or also when you don't have somebody breathing down your neck ALL THE LIVELONG DAY!
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but you know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So, would you guys read it for me?
Chandler: Yeah all right.
Ross: All right.
Joey: Ok. "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross
Ross: Hey man.
Chandler: What is up?
Ross: About yesterday, I was really wrong. I am sorry.
Chandler: No, it was me. I'm sorry. I overreacted.
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest...But we had our best friend's interestat heart.
Chandler: Could I be more sorry.
Ross: I don't know, I am one sorry paleontologist.
Ross: All right Joey, we-we get it. I'm sorry.
Chandler: I'm sorry too.
Joey: Oh no! No-no, keep reading! The good part's coming up. Keep going.
Ross: I am sorry, Chandler.
Chandler: I am sorry, Ross.
Joey: A handsome man enters. Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I would just like to say thanks to both of you.
Joey: You, you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you, well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Chandler: This took you all day? !
Joey: No, no, this only took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new, Ultimate Fireball. Ha-ha!
Joey: Ok, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out. Go.
Monica: Hi, how are you doing Kelly?
Rachel: I'm doing just fine! God, Tiffany, you smell so great!
Monica: It's my new perfume. Why don't you come closer where you can really appreciate it?
Rachel: Oh, you know Joey, you are sick!
Monica: This is disgusting!
Rachel: I'm not reading this!
Joey: What? ! Wait-wait-wait! The handsome man was about to enter!