Ross: Chandler! Chandler!
Ross: Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! I saw what you were doing to my sister! Get out here!
Chandler: Wow! Listen, we had a good run.
Chandler: You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, goodbye, take care, bye-bye then!
Monica: What're you doing? !
Chandler: Oh, I'm going on the lam.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. Hold on!
Monica: Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Ross: What, the hell, are you doing? !
Rachel: Ok, what's-what's going on? !
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Joey: Dude! He's right there!
Ross: I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believethis!
Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Ok, I'm in love with her.
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. Sorry, but it-it's true, I love him too.
Ross: My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. Oh-oh, sorry, you-you guys wanna probably get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!
Rachel: Awww, no, it's ok, we've actually known for a while.
Ross: What? What? What? ! You guys knew? You all knew and you didn't tell me? !
Rachel: Well, Ross, we were worried about you. Ok? We didn't know how you were gonna react.
Ross: You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react?
Joey: Ok, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here, he-he's the one doing your sister.
Ross: Hey, you know what I just realized? If you guys ever have kids...
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! We're having kids? !
Joey: I call godfather!
Ross: You can't just call godfather. Don't you think her brother should be godfather?
Joey: Sure, if you cared enough to call it first.
Monica: Guys, you're a few steps ahead of us.
Chandler: Yeah, big zero gravity moon steps.
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I just thought of the greatest wedding gift to get you.
Phoebe: Ooh, I'll go in on that with you! I couldn't think of anything.
Joey: Oh, hey Katie! Everyone, this is Katie.
All: Hi! Hello Katie.
Joey: So, you ready to go?
Katie: Yeah, I just gotta run to the bathroom.
Joey: Oh sure, right back there.
Katie: Hey, where're we going to lunch?
Joey: Uh I was thinking maybe Chinese food.
Katie: Ohh, I love Chinese! How did you know I love Chinese? !
Rachel: She is so cute! You could fit her right in little pocket!
Phoebe: She could fit in that little pocket inside the pocket.
Joey: I don't know. I mean I like her a lot, and she's really nice, but...
Monica: But what?
Joey: She keeps punching me.
Monica: In that cute, little, sweet way she just did?
Joey: Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks! Ok? She-she-she's hurting me.
Monica: Oh see, I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool?
Chandler: Ok listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up.
Rachel: Aww, Joey, come here. Look, honey, I know this must be really, really difficult for you and I - Oh, I'm sorry. Am I hurting you?
Phoebe: Hey! I brought you some house warming gifts.
Phoebe: Yeah. Salt, so your life always has flavor.
Phoebe: Bread, so you never go hungry.
Phoebe: And a scented candle for the bathroom, because well you know.
Ross: Thanks. Thanks. And thanks again. Phoebe: Yeah!
Guy: Welcome to the building. I'm uh, Steve Sarah, president of the tenants committee.
Ross: Oh hi! Ross Geller. And this is my friend Phoebe.
Steve: Oh hi Phoebe.
Phoebe: Mr. President.
Steve: I uh, came to talk to you about Howard.
Steve: Yeah, he's the handyman.
Steve: He's gonna be retiring next week and everyone who lives here is kicking in a 100 bucks as a kind of thank you for all the hard work type of thing.
Ross: Oh that's nice.
Steve: Yeah. So, you wanna give a check? Or...
Ross: Oh. Uhh...
Steve: Oh look, you don't have to give it too me right now! You can slip it under my door.
Ross: No-no, it's not that, it's just...I-I just moved in.
Steve: Well, the guy's worked here for 25 years.
Ross: Yes, but I've lived here for 25 minutes.
Steve: Oh, ok, I get it.
Ross: No wait, look. Look! I'm sorry, it's just I've never even met Howard. I-I mean I don't know Howard.
Steve: Howard's the handyman!
Ross: Yes but to me he's just, man.
Steve: Ok, fine, whatever. Welcome to the building.
Ross: Ugh, can you believe that guy? !
Phoebe: Yeah. I really like his glasses.
Ross: So then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me!
Ross: You know a little kid spit on my knee! And told me to wipe it off with my $100 bill.
Chandler: You really should wipe it off with something.
Ross: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party.
Ross: That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them all down and explain to them, that I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy!
Ross: I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man, with principles.
Chandler: Sounds like a fun party.
Rachel: Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the hundred bucks? Party's gonna cost you way more than that.
Ross: That doesn't matter! It's my principles! We're talking about my principles!
Rachel: Ok, I thought it was about your neighbors liking you.
Ross: Oh, they'll like me. Once they come to my awesome PAR-TAY! Ok, I gotta run. I gotta go get some name-tags.
Rachel: And that crazy party animal will be your brother-in-law.
Chandler: Ok, very, very funny, but don't say things like that in front of Monica. I don't want you puttingany ideas in her head.
Rachel: Umm, Chandler, you-you do realize that those ideas are probably already in Monica's head?
Chandler: Wh-why? !
Rachel: Well, because she loves you and because you love her.
Chandler: Yeah, so, what's that supposed to mean? !
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know!
Rachel: Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't wanna have babies. And she's a woman, and she'salmost 30, and you know, it's Monica.
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Ok? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies.
Chandler: And then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants? ! I'm right. I'm right. Am I right?
Rachel: Oh, absolutely.
Chandler: Ok. An-an-and you know I'm completely different from Richard anyway. Because he's an eye doctor, and I don't wear glasses.
Rachel: No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different.
Chandler: Ok. It's not different at all, is it?
Rachel: Not unless different means the same.
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut!
Joey: You know, breadstick fangs are always funny so...
Katie: No, you make them funny. You're the funny one!
Joey: Uhh, look Katie, uh, listen, we-we need to talk. Ok? Umm, look, I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Ok?
Joey: But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.
Katie: Aww, like I could hurt you. Are you making fun of my size? Don't make fun of me because of my size!
Monica: Isn't this great?
Monica: Couldn't you just stay like this forever? Chandler, couldn't you just stay here forever?
Chandler: Yeah, here, somewhere else, you know where-where ever.
Monica: Are you ok?
Chandler: Yeah, I'm cool. Casual.
Monica: What-what're you doing?
Chandler: I'm just hanging out. You know, having fun. You know with the girl that I'm seeing casually.
Monica: Man, I knew it! I knew you were going to do this!
Chandler: What? !
Monica: Get all freaked out because everybody was talking and just joking around about marriage and stuff.
Chandler: Well, you do want all that stuff, right?
Monica:and you know what I want!
Chandler: Yes! You want babies! You have baby fever!
Monica: I do not have baby fever!
Chandler: Oh please, you are obsessed with babies and-and marriage and everything that's related to babies and-and marriage!
Chandler: You know what I got a good idea, why don't we turn down the heat on this pressure cooker? !
Monica: You lost your mind? Chandler, this isn't about me! This is about you and all your weird relationshipcommitment crap!
Chandler: Nah-uh! I know you! Ok? I know the thoughts that you have in the head-in your head!
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm?
Monica: And did you know that the only baby around here is you? ! And did you know that I can't even look atyou right now? !
Chandler: Yeah well I did not know that.
Chandler: This's gonna be ok, right? I mean she's not gonna leave me? This is, this is fixable.
Ross & Joey: Oh yeah, yeah, sure. Absolutely.
Chandler: By me?
Ross & Joey: Oh No No.
Ross: Well, unless you make some kind of big gesture.
Joey: Yeah, big though!
Joey: Uh-oh, shh! The Mrs.
Monica: Gunther, can I get a coffee to go.
Monica: I'm-I'm still not done not wanting to talk to you.
Chandler: Just tell me what I need to do to make things right.
Monica: What? !
Chandler: Well, that's what we do. You know, I-I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then you know you think I'm all cute again.
Monica: Really? I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're gonna have to figure this one out for yourself. All right?
Monica: You know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one.
Party Guests: Howard! Howard... Yay!
Ross: Phoebe? Phoebe.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Ross!
Ross: What're you doing?
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out it's a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man!
Guest: See ya Phoebe! Oh and hey, thanks for chipping in!
Phoebe: Oh, sure!
Ross: You chipped in? !
Phoebe: Yeah, uh-huh, 100 dollars.
Ross: Phoebe! I-I can't believe you gave him money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
Phoebe: Yeah, but they didn't ask me! You know? This way I'm just you know, the exotic, generous stranger. That's always fun to be.
Ross: Yeah, but you're making me look bad!
Phoebe: No I'm not. No! If anything I'm making you look better! They'll see you talking to me and that's- I'm a hit!
Steve: Hey, Pheebs!
Steve: Oh hey, Ross. Umm, see, I-I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments Cause Phoebe's more our kind of people. Something to think about.
Phoebe: Yeah, ok, my bad.
Rachel: Wow! You look, you look...big.
Joey: Thanks! I've been working out. Hey, listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters?
Rachel: Uhhh, yeah. But it's not obvious why.
Joey: Well look, I'm breaking up with Katie. So I had to put on some extra padding.
Joey: You know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Rachel: Oh! Oh, right. I forgot that you called it that.
Joey: Hey! How're ya.
Rachel: Hey! Hey, cute jacket!
Katie: Oh, oh thanks! That's so sweet!
Rachel: Oh! Ow!
Katie: Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, are too much!
Rachel: You know what Katie? I gotta tell ya I-I-I-I think you are the one that is too much!
Katie: Ohh, Joey has the nicest friends!
Rachel: Ohh, and the nicest girlfriend!
Katie: You're so sweet!
Rachel: Ohh, you're so sweet!
Katie:Joey, she just kicked me.
Katie: Well? Aren't you gonna do something?
Katie: You'd better do something, or I'm gonna walk out that door right now! Well? Are you gonna?
Phoebe: That's what I'm saying.
Ross: Phoebe? Phoebe?
Ross: This is a disaster! Can't I please just go?
Phoebe: No! No! I'm talking you up to people. Just give it a little time, all right? Relax, get something toeat! Ok?
Ross: So uh, what did you tell them about me?
Phoebe: Um, oh, I was telling them about you and Emily. You know, try to get some sympathy.
Phoebe: But somehow you came off as the bad guy.
Ross: What? !
Phoebe: Yeah, I think I told it wrong. You know, we should talk about that Cause I don't totally understand what happened there.
Ross: Ohh, this cake is really good!
Phoebe: Oh, ok, see? Things are looking up already!
Guest: Oh my God! Someone cut Howard's cake!
Guest: Who would do a thing like that?
All: Oh yeah, aww!
Steve: Ok, you got your free food! You ruined everyone's fun! Don't you think it's time you went home? !
All: Yeah, get out! Now!
Steve: Go back to 3-B, 3-B!
Phoebe: All right, no, every - everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like tosay!
Phoebe: Who here likes Ross? Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked "Who here likes Ross," and he's wearing two name-tags!
Phoebe: I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all!
Phoebe:But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous.
Phoebe: I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him, all right? I mean you know, Ilike all you guys now, but when I first met you you know...
Phoebe: Kurt, I thought, you know, abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind-numbingly stupid! And ok, you guys Gold digger, cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Phoebe: Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things.
Phoebe: I just thought if I kept insulting them, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero.
Ross: Oh wow, yeah! See, I did not get that.
Chandler: Where's Monica? ! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
Monica: I'm Monica.
Chandler: I need to talk to you, it's urgent!
Chandler: Ok, I've been doing a lot of thinking, about us, you know a lot of uhh, us thinking. And uh, wellI guess there's only one-one way to do this.
Monica: Wait what-wh-wh-what're you doing? !
Monica: No-no, don't-don't-don't do it!
Chandler: Will you marry me?
Ross: Oh-no. No. No.
Joey: What a bad idea!
Rachel: Ohhhh, I cannot look at it!
Monica: Chandler, why are you doing this?
Chandler: I don't know. But I know I'm not afraid, to do this.
Chandler: I'm doing this because I'm sorry?
Monica: Do you umm, you really think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry?
Chandler: Oh no, the best reason to get married is pregnancy.
Chandler: Sorry is pretty much fourth you know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. Will you be my wife?
Monica: Chandler, umm, I want you to take just a minute and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm kinda wishing everyone wasn't here right now.
Monica: Honey! Do you know that none of that stuff came from me? ! I mean I never said I wanted to have babies and get married right now!
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys.
Monica: Who? Two divorces and Joey? !
Joey: She's right you know.
Ross: Yeah, but still, cheap shot!
Monica: You know what? You know when I said that I want you to, deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that.
Chandler: I didn't think I was!
Monica: Oh my God, what would've you done if I said yes?
Chandler: Well I would've been happy, because I would've be able to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I love.
Chandler: Or, you would've seen a Chandler shaped hole in that door.
Joey: Hey Ross, will you pass me that knife?
Ross: No, I will not!
Joey: Oh, it's ok. You don't have to be so mean about it.
Ross: You're right, I'm sorry. Will you marry me?
Phoebe: Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.
Rachel: Oh no wait Pheebs, I think with something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler?
Chandler: Ok, how long is this gonna go on.
Monica: Well I think the length of teasing is directly related to how insane you were, so, a long time.
Ross: This is fun. Oh-hey Rach, remember that whole "We were on a break thing?" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me?
Chandler & Joey: That's not funny. That's not funny at all!