Ross: Wow! You look nice. What's the occasion?
Chandler: Monica and I are celebrating our ten-month anniversary, got reservations at Jean Georges.
Ross: Wow! How'd you get in there?
Chandler: Uh, made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had thechicken and didn't get desert.
Delivery Girl: Hi, Chandler!
Chandler: Hey Caitlin! Somebody got a haircut.
Caitlin: Ugh, I hate it! I look like an 8-year-old boy.
Chandler: Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting.
Caitlin: It's uh, 27 dollars even.
Chandler: Oh, ok. Here you go.
Caitlin: Hey, where's the chicken?
Chandler: Oh, he's in the back. The duck pissed him off, said that eggs came first.
Caitlin: Thanks. I'll see you later!
Chandler: Ok, bye!
Ross: What the hell was that? !
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with um I don't know hmm let's say my sister? !
Chandler: I was not flirting.
Ross: Wh-, it was totally flirting. "Somebody got a haircut "...
Chandler: Ok first of all, the impression, uncanny. And second, that was not flirting, that was just casualconversation between two people. That is all.
Ross: Oh, yeah, right.
Chandler: You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting.
Ross: I'm good, I'm good.
Rachel: I am so proud of Joey, I can't believe he's gonna be on Law & Order!
Phoebe: I know. But don't you think that it should be called Order and Law?
Rachel: Oh, no, because first they arrest the guy and then they try him.
Phoebe: Don't get me started on that.
Chandler: I was not flirting.
Ross: And on your anniversary, for shame!
Rachel: What's going on?
Ross: Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!
Chandler: I was not and oh God, shh!
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Ok? And besides, if anyone should be hitting on her, it, it's the guy who's single, Ok? The guy who, who-who can do something about it.
Phoebe: Sounds like someone wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl.
Chandler: Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?
Rachel: Ro-ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's ok that we see other people.
Ross: Well, I-I was watching her the other day at the pizza place.
Ross: And she was just so sexy and funny and has the cutest little...
Rachel: Ok, you know what? We don't need her measurements.
Phoebe: Ok pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid? !She forgot my vegetarian!
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I will turn on the charm, oh Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.
Phoebe: See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone.
Joey: Hey everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother!
Rachel: Big night!
Phoebe: Yeah it's so cool!
Chandler: So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud!
Joey: Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. I've done it again.
Joey: No-nonnie, Nonnie's my biggest fan. Yeah, she's the only one in the family who's always believed me. si Nonnie, Sono il numero uno?
Joey's Grandmother: si, Big star. My big fat Joey star.
Joey: Yeah, I uh weighed like 27 pounds when I was born so...
Monica: Hey! Happy Anniversary!
Chandler: Happy Anniversary, 10 months!
Monica: Ummm. So umm, when I was in the shower, I was thinking about our first night in London...
Chandler: Oh, Joey's grandmother is right there.
Monica: Is that the one who speaks English or the one who doesn't?
Chandler: No, that one doesn't.
Monica: That was some hot love you gave me! I'm gonna go get ready.
Chandler: Hey, why don't you wear those earrings I got you tonight?
Monica: Oh, that's a great idea! I was saving them for something special. Chandler: Ok.
Monica: You've got to go home!
Phoebe: But I like it here!
Monica: You gotta go home and get the earrings that you borrowed from me ok? Chandler wants me to wear them tonight.
Phoebe: Ok, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for 'em.
Phoebe: Rach, hi, I need those earrings you borrowed.
Rachel: Oh, umm, ok, yeah, I'll be, I'll be right back. Ok.
Phoebe & Grandma: ItalianJoey: Wow Pheebs, you speak Italian?
Phoebe: I guess so.
Rachel: Here you go. Thank you!
Phoebe: Wait, Rach! Where's the other one?
Rachel: Oh what, you-you want both of them? It is a little greedy don't you think?
Phoebe: Rachel Karen Green, where's the other earring? !
Rachel: Ok, ok, ok, look, just don't freak out, but I kind of lost it. Oh! I know it's in the apartment, butI definitely lost it.
Phoebe: Well, what am I gonna tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight!
Rachel: I don't know, tell her to wear her own earrings.
Phoebe: These are her earrings.
Rachel: Nooo! Nooooo! You lent me Monica's earrings? ! I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff!
Phoebe: Why not?
Rachel:Because I lose her stuff!
Joey: Ok, now you see that blind guy right there? I'm gonna bash his head in later.
Joey: Oh umm, my big scene's coming up. Big scene coming up.
Chandler: If you said, "Big Lima bean, bubbling up." Would she understand the difference?
Monica: Rach? What're you doing?
Rachel: Oh I, I just can't watch. It's too scary!
Monica: It's a diaper commercial.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, well, you know me, babies, responsibilities, ahhh! !!
Caitlin: Pizza delivery!
Ross: I'll get it! I will get that! Uh, how's my hair look?
Monica: Ross, it hasn't moved since 1996.
Caitlin: One vegetarian pizza. It's $12.50.
Ross: Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Caitlin: What? !
Ross: I mean, no-no, the uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought that your hair looked like an 8-year-old's, and I'm, I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Caitlin: Oh. Thanks.
Ross: You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.
Caitlin: You know, all I'm looking for is the money.
Chandler: Here you go. Now stop bringing us pizzas you. Stop bringing us pizzas, you.
Caitlin: I'm gonna try.
Chandler: You're welcome.
Ross: You couldn't let me have her, could you? !
Ross: This is a girl I really like and you, you had to swoop in there!
Monica: What's going on?
Ross: Chandler was totally flirting with the hot delivery girl!
Chandler: Thank you for that! I was not flirting.
Monica: It's ok. I don't care. It's uh, it's fine.
Ross & Chandler: Really? !
Monica: No big deal, I do it all the time.
Chandler: So umm, you-you, you flirt with guys all the time?
Monica: Sure! It doesn't mean anything! Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you!
Chandler: Ok, but there is a big difference all right? You are a lot hotter than that I am.
Joey: True story!
Monica: Chandler, this actually bothers you?
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! I think it'd bother a lot of people. Rachel, when uh, when you were goingout with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Rachel: Uhh, no, no, it bothered me when he slept with other women.
Ross: And thank you, for that.
Rachel: But you know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.
Ross: What? What-what, what're talking about? It-it worked with you.
Rachel: Oh! You know what? No, you're right! We met, you flirted and then bam nine years later you had me!
Ross: All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm gonna do? I am gonna order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you-I will show how well I flirt.
Ross: In fact, I will, I will, I will get her phone number! And not the one on the menu!
Phoebe: I found it!
Rachel: Ohh! Thank God! Where was it?
Phoebe: On your dresser.
Rachel: Ok, that is the one we already have!
Joey: Ok, here's my big scene. My big scene's here!
TV: Wanna bet nobody heard anything? No bet. Anybody home?
Joey: Oh, my God.
Joey: Ok, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Chandler: Well, what is it?
Joey: Oh, they cut me out of the show.
Rachel: What? !
Ross: Are-are you sure?
Phoebe: Maybe your scene's coming up?
Joey: Not likely. Cause you see that body bag right there?
Joey: I'm in it.
Phoebe: This is terrible, what are you gonna do?
Joey: I don't know. Well this little old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died.
Phoebe: That's not good.
Joey: Yeah we had to get her a home nurse.
Phoebe: Oh, my God.
Joey: Yeah, she almost died and got really expansive. You're not smiling. Not that face, smile! Everybody smile!
Rachel: Joey, why don't you just tell her what happened? I mean it's not your fault.
Chandler: If we keep talking this way, aren't we gonna freak her out soon?
Grandma Tribbiani: ...
Joey: Oh-uh, soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. I- There I am!
Grandma Tribbiani: No! Sam Waterston!
Joey: No-no, no, that-that's me, that's me.
Grandma Tribbiani: No, it's Sam Waterston! Crimes and Misdemeanors, Capricorn One.
Chandler: She doesn't know "Hello." But she knows Capricorn One.
Monica: Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we'll leave as soon as the show is over.
Phoebe: But I already gave them back to you!
Monica: No, you didn't.
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. Rachel, where's that other earring?
Rachel: It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night!
Phoebe: Ok! Make sure you check Chandler's jewelry box.
Rachel: Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box?
Phoebe: Ok, we have like ten minutes. Do you want me to get into that now? !
Ross: Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? Huh? You and those vegetables have a real uh thing going on, huh?
Phoebe: Why are you being weird?
Ross: Do you like it?
Phoebe: No, that would be, "Why are you being cute?"
Ross: Ok, I'm working on my flirting.
Phoebe: Ohh! I did not get that.
Chandler: So uh Monica, do you, do you like the Law & Order?
Monica: Yeah, it's good.
Chandler: See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area!
Monica: Chandler! Ok, let me get this straight, it's ok for you to flirt, but not for me.
Chandler: Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, but some things are different for men and for women.
Monica: All right. Go on, teach me something about men and women.
Chandler: Ok, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy, you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal."
Chandler: But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
Monica: No way!
Chandler: It's true.
Monica: Well that's pathetic!
Chandler: Again true.
Monica: And this goes for all guys?
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and all guys from the other end of the world wake upand behave the exact same way.
Joey: All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Ross: Joey! This is like the last commercial. What- You got like ten minutes left!
Joey: I know, I know! What am I gonna do? Ooh!
Monica: No! You are not gonna run out and leave her here!
Joey: Yeah, all right. Ooh!
Grandma Tribbiani: Joey!
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. So, you're old and small.
Phoebe: Did you find it?
Rachel: The earring? No. But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch! I've been looking for these since like last summer.
Phoebe: Ok, those are my sunglasses, you borrowed them from me.
Rachel: Ok, calm down, here they are.
Phoebe: What we do? !
Rachel: I don't know, I don't know.
Phoebe: All right well, we're just gonna have to tell Monica, that's all.
Rachel: Oh gosh, she's gonna kill me.
Phoebe: I suppose I could tell her it was just all my fault.
Rachel: Ohh that'd be great!
Phoebe: Mon, can I talk to you for a sec?
Monica: Yeah, what is it?
Phoebe: Umm, I lost one of your earrings. I'm sorry! I am so, so sorry!
Monica: Wow! All right, well, I mean, what can you do? If you lost it, you lost it.
Phoebe: I will replace it, I promise. I feel so terrible.
Monica: All right, sweetie that's fine. You didn't do it on purpose.
Monica: Look at you! Come here! Better?
Phoebe: Yeah! You're the best!
Rachel: Ok, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen, honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too.
Monica: That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff! ! Ok? !
Monica: I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my blue sweater, it's my sunglasses!
Rachel: Your sunglasses? !
Phoebe: Oh, right!
Ross: Oh, mine! Mine! Mine! Ok, here goes. Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting.
Chandler: Ok, hold on. Ok.
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't think flirting is the right thing to...
Ross: You'll see. Ok. Oh, what's-what's her name?
Ross: Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this.
Caitlin: Huh, it's uh, $12.50.
Ross: Ok, um, so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens?
Caitlin: No, actually umm, I think that they're umm, gas.
Ross: Gas? Wow! Intense.
Chandler: If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem.
Ross: Hey, uh, you know that smell gas has?
Ross: They put that in.
Caitlin: What? !
Ross: The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.
Caitlin: Well ok!
Ross: A lot of other gas smells...
Chandler: Oh the humanity.
Ross: Meth-methane smells...
Caitlin: You know what, umm, actually I, I really, I should go.
Ross: Oh but I-I-I haven't paid you yet!
Caitlin: You know what? That's ok, you guys've ordered so many that this one is on me!
Ross: Was I talking to her about gas?
Chandler: More so than anything else.
Phoebe: I-I-I found it interesting.
Rachel: I'm sorry.
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, can you believe, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there.
Rachel: Ok, well, I'm gonna clear out some of these boxes.
Phoebe: What else do they add smell too?
Rachel: Hey! Hey! Hi! Hey-hey-hey, I'm Rachel! From upstairs? People with all the pizza?
Caitlin: Oh, is there a problem?
Rachel: No. no, no. Every thing's- they're fine. Great pizza. But it's uh, actually umm my friend Ross. He uh, he just gets really nervous when he's flirting.
Caitlin: Oh my God! That was flirting? !
Rachel: I know, I know, but uh just, I'm telling you, once, once you get past that part, that where it-it just feels like you wanna die, uh he's-he's really a good person.
Caitlin: The guy with the gas? !
Rachel: Yeah. I'm-I'm telling you he's really sweet and he's really funny and he's just ugh, just got a goodheart.
Caitlin: You know, actually, I did think that he was cute and then he started talking.
Rachel: See, there-there you go. And, besides, I- you know, I think he really likes you.
Caitlin: Really? !
Rachel: Well you know, we have 7 people and like 10 pizzas, what do you think?
Caitlin: I- you should- I thought Joey was there.
Rachel: Yeah... no... but just I'm telling you he's worth a shot.
Caitlin: Well, if he's so great why don't you go out with him?
Rachel: Hmm. Well, you know, at some point, uh, you and I may need to have a longer conversation.
Rachel: Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at thisflirting stuff than I thought.
Ross: What do you mean?
Rachel: Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number.
Ross: And she just gave you this?
Ross: Rach, thanks, but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Rachel: I-I-I didn't! I didn't! She thought you were cute.
Ross: Well that I can believe.
Joey: Hey! Is the show still on?
Chandler: Almost over man.
Joey: Hey Nonnie. Oh! Oh! Is that the Pope? !
Chandler: Why am I looking?
Joey: Oh, Nonnie, here I am, look, this's my big scene!
Joey: All right back off! I got a gun! I'm not afraid to use it!
Grandma Tribbiani: Oh Joey!
Joey: That's right, Nonnie!
Chandler: You couldn't've at least changed your shirt.
Joey: Now, I want a suitcase filled with 100,000 dollars. Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Filled with $100,000 in small bills, and if I don't get it...Shoo! !
Joey: And if I don't get it, I'm gonna shoot this duck!
Phoebe: Oh no!
Joey: I'm coming out!
Ross: And she's supposed to buy this? !
Grandma Tribbiani: Joey, bravo!
Chandler: Ground control to Major Tom! Commencing countdown...engines...on!
Joey: That's uh, scenes from next week's show. Next week's!
Phoebe: I am definitely gonna watch that!
Monica: What about these? These look the same?
Monica: Not as each other!
Phoebe: Oh, then no.
Chandler: Hey, you ready?
Chandler: You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world.
Monica: Ohh, you're about to get a little luckier.
Chandler: Let me see the earrings.
Monica: Oh, honey, the earrings...
Chandler: They look great! Does your boyfriend have the best taste or what?
Monica: My boyfriend really does have some great tastes.
Chandler: Thanks for picking out the earrings man.