Ross: Hey, do you have any gum?
Rachel: Oh? Yeah!
Phoebe: Wait! Wait! Hi! Listen, Ross, can I just talk to you for just a second?
Rachel: Oh, but Phoebe, we're gonna be late for the movie.
Phoebe: Oh, there's a cab! Taxi! That's great. What timing, my God, huh? There you go.
Rachel: We're, we're actually just gonna walk 'cause it's right up there at the Angelica.
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica! Go! Go! You didn't get the annulment? !
Ross: I know.
Phoebe: Ross? !
Ross: Well, I tried! But when I got to my lawyer's office all I could hear was, "Three divorces. Three divorces!" Yes, in that high voice! Look, I just don't want my tombstone to read, Ross Gellar, Three Divorces.
Phoebe: Don't be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! You know? Mine's gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
你不用担心这种事的！你的墓碑上可以这么说：“罗斯 盖勒，最擅长结婚！”我的就会写着 “菲比 布菲，活埋在此。”
Ross: Look, all I know is II can't have another failed marriage!
Phoebe: So ok what? You're gonna be married to a girl who doesn't even know about it? ! Oh, woman! Sorry!
Ross: Well, ok, so, I don't have it all worked out quite yet. Just don't, don't say anything to Rachel, please?
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. Although, being the only one that knows about this does make me feel special. Ok!
Rachel: Ok, stop stop! Phoebe? !
Phoebe: Hey Rach!
Rachel: What was that? !
Phoebe: Sorry, mixup. Hey, how was the movie?
Rachel: I haven't seen it yet!
Phoebe: Well, then you'd better hurry! The Angelica! Go! Go!
Chandler: You know when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Monica: Of course! Joey wouldn't let you have one?
Chandler: No. When it comes to sweets, he's surprisingly strict.
Monica: Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him you're moving out?
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, you know what, I can get out, "Joey, I have to…" but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, "...go to the bathroom." He may think I'm sick.
Monica: You know, I really have to tell Rachel, but I...We just have to get it over with! You know what, the next time we see them we're just gonna tell them. Ok? That's it.
Chandler: Oh, so that's how this is gonna work now? You're just gonna order me around all the time?
Monica: Pretty much.
Chandler: All right.
Joey: Hey Monica!
Joey: Hey man, you feeling better?
Chandler: Yeah, I'm all right.
Monica: Um, Joey, we have something to tell you.
Joey: Oh my God! You're pregnant!
Chandler: Nooo! No? Nooo! Look Joey, here's the thing, um, Monica and I decided to live together, here. So, I'm gonna be moving out man.
Joey: Wow! Well, uh...Hey! I'm really happy for you guys! Congratulations! See you later.
Monica: Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you ok? !
Joey: Yeah, I gotta go! I've got an acting job. Like you'd believe that. This sucks!
Chandler: Look, I'm I'm just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up I'm moving right back in with you!
Monica: Maybe that's now.
Joey: Ok! Look look look, uh, if you're gonna be moving in with him I feel, that it's my responsibility to tell you the truth, about him! Ok? He's a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm…he umm…he uh always, he always umm…Oh, who am I kidding! He's the best roommate ever!
Ross: Hey Pheebs.
Phoebe: Hey. Oh, look, here's an article about people who marry people and don't tell them.
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm reading Ross Geller Magazine.
Monica: Hey Pheebs!
Monica: Hey, have you seen Rachel?
Phoebe: No, why?
Monica: I have some pretty exciting news!
Phoebe: You're pregnant!
Monica: No! Chandler and I are moving in together!
Phoebe: Ooh! That's good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
Ross: What's up?
Monica: Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together.
Ross: Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend...shacking up. Oh, that's great. That's great.
Phoebe: Guys, I'm happy too.
Monica: Okay, come here.
Phoebe: Wow! Big day huh? People moving in, people getting annulled...
Monica: Anyway, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her would you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesn't seem so bad?
Ross: Ok, bye.
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel...Bad news for Rachel, what could that be? !
Ross: Can you just, can you just lay off, please? All right? My life is an embarrassment! I should just go live under somebody's stairs!
Phoebe: Ross, it's not that big a deal! So you'll been divorced three times, you'll still have a life, you'll go on dates…
Ross: No! No, I won't! I'll be at the bottom of the dating barrel now. The only guys below me will be Four Divorce Guy uh, Murderer Guy, andand, Geologists.
Phoebe: Ross, you're being ridiculous! Ok? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Ross: Oh yeah? Have you ever dated anyone who has been divorced three times?
Phoebe: That's not really fair. You know? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. You're young!
Ross: That's true. I am young.
Phoebe: Well...Ross, nobody cares about this except you! You This embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, I'll show you! Come here.
Ross: What? !
Phoebe: Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldn't you date him?
Ross: And if you wait right here, I'll go get Ross.
Monica: Ugh, I thought you were Rachel!
Chandler: What gave me away?
Monica: I just gotta tell her, I have to get it over with. I've told Ross and Phoebe and she's the only one left!
Chandler: Ok, that's it, so everybody knows! It's official, we're moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Chandler: Wow that was my scariest voice! You're very brave.
Rachel: Ugh, the worst day! You know, you think you're finally making progress at work and then your boss calls you Raquel.
Chandler: Hey listen, for the first four years of my work everybody called me Shalalap. Seriously.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Chandler: Well, II still think you're very very nice and very pretty...
Chandler: All yours babe.
Monica: Rachel, come here, sweetie. Have a seat. Ok, listen, umm, Chandler and I, are going to live together, here.
Rachel: Oh my God! That's so great! Um, I'm so happy for you guys!
Monica: Really? ! Rachel: Oh, and that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time moving together!
Monica: Yes, we are.
Rachel: Aw, and Chandler, you're gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning 'cause you know Raquel can't be late.
Monica: Yeah, he is gonna work on that.
Rachel: Ohh. Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh Wow…Come and knock on our door…
Monica: We'll be waiting for you...
Ross: See? once you know the stories, it's not that bad. First marriage, wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well, they really shouldn't allow you to get married when you're that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevada's fault.
Phoebe: Ok, so what do you think, ladies? Who wouldn't be interested? Who wouldn't wanna date him?
Stephanie: Well the divorces don't bother me, I'd date him. But, not while he's still married.
Phoebe: Ok, what about you? Wouldn't you wanna date?
Karin: Actually, I'm not dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like you know bad for me, so I decided that until I can work that out...Phoebe: Whatever!
Phoebe: What about you, Meg?
Meg: Well, I don't care about the divorces either, but, I wouldn't date him.
Phoebe: Normally, he doesn't sweat this much.
Meg: It's just that he's obviously still in love with this Rachel girl.
Ross: What? !
Phoebe: She said, "He's obviously still in love with..."
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yesyes Rachel is my good friend and I I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you will you help me out here? Phoebe, will you help me out here?
Phoebe: Well, I thought you loved her when you when you married her.
Ross: We were drunk! I would've married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!
Phoebe: Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!
Ross: Look, I'm sorry, but you guys are wrong. I just don't wanna be divorced three times.
Phoebe: Yes, and now he's using this three divorces reason because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, well done. Bravo, Meg.
Ross: Okay! Fine! Fine! Ifif this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I I’ll go to my lawyer’s office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay? ! Because she means nothing to me! Noth——Nothing! !
Meg: Ok now I wouldn't date you because you seem a little creepy.
Karin: I am so attracted to him right now.
Chandler: Ok, when are we gonna tell Rachel what actually is going to happen?
Monica: Soon! I I just couldn't before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldn't do that to her, she's my best friend!
Chandler: Well Joey's my best friend.
Monica: I'm not your best friend?
Chandler: You just said...Of course you're my best friend. Would you please tell Rachel though?
Monica: All right, all right, at least I'm prepared.
Chandler: Ok. Oh yes.
Chandler: Hey hey!
Monica: These aren't for you! Are you upset?
Chandler: I am now!
Rachel: Hey roomie! Chandler: Ok, bye!
Monica: Rach, there's something uh, important I have to tell you.
Rachel: Are you pregnant? !
Monica: No! But, I'm throwing this shirt away! I think there was a little misunderstanding before. Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm, live together, we meant alone together.
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, that's funny, I can't believe I did that.
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! You know what, this is my fault, I wasn't clear! I I was I'm really sorry. And, listen, you take as much time as you need to move out ok? There's absolutely no rush.
Monica: Ok. Don't you want a cookie?
Rachel: Sure. Thanks.
Monica: Maybe do you need a tissue?
Rachel: Wh Monica, where did you get these? !
Monica: I made them!
Rachel: Ooh, good God, they're so yummy!
Joey: Ok, who whose is this?
Chandler: Uh that's mine.
Joey: And what about this? Whose is this?
Chandler: That's mine.
Joey: Ok, whose dishwashing soap is this?
Chandler: That was here when we moved in.
Joey: Oh, I guess it really is concentrated.
Joey: God, it's gonna be weird like when I come home and you're not here. You know? No more Joey and Chan's. No more J and C's. "You wanna go over to Joey and Chandler's?" "Can't, its not there."
Chandler: Look, I'm just gonna be across the hall, we can still do all the same stuff.
Joey: Yeah but we won't be able to like get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future.
Chandler: Not once did we do that.
Joey: Don't you remember that night, it was late and I was feeling sick and you said I would feel better tomorrow?
Chandler: Oh yeah, I remember that.
Joey: I don't know. I'm just…just gonna miss living with you.
Chandler: Yeah, me too man.
Joey: What the hell is that?
Chandler: That's disgusting.
Monica: So I, I told Rachel that it was just, gonna be the two of us.
Chandler: Oh yeah? Well, how'd she take it?
Monica: Really well. Yeah. Surprisingly well. Yeah, she didn't cry. She wasn't angry or sad.
Chandler: And you're upset because you didn't make your best friend cry?
Monica: I mean, all I'm asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years? ! I mean what? Are are are Rachel and I not as close as you guys? ! I mean do we not have as much fun? ! Don't I deserve a few tears? ! I mean when we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out! Come on! It's like the end of an era! No more Jman and Channie's!
Chandler: Ok, I gotta ask, who calls us that? !
Russell: You got married again.
Russell: So that's your second marriage in two years.
Ross: Yes, second in two years. Third overall.
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never have I so much business from one client. Why don't you tell me what happened.
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk...
Russell: I'm sorry, is this the same Rachel who's name you said at the altar in the second marriage?
Ross: Yes yes yes! But, I I do not love her.
Russell: Oh, that's better then.
Ross: This was just a drunken mistake and I I need to get it annulled.
Russell: I see. Have you considered therapy?
Ross: I think just the annulment for today.
Russell: There are a couple of forms to fill out.
Russell: And we'll need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of uh, sound mind.
Ross: No problem.
Russell: And we'll need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Ross: Ooh! There's no way to do this without her? 'Cause I kinda already told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of.
Russell: Of course you did. Look, you can't get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
Ross: Uhha, what about someone who looks like Rachel? I will think about the therapy.
Monica: So um, I was thinking that maybe we should start dividing up our stuff.
Monica: You know, nono point in dragging it out. Dragging out the long process of you moving out and us not living together anymore.
Monica: Hey Rach, what about this? Huh? Who who gets this? See, I I don't know if I want it because it might be you know, too many memories!
Rachel: What the hell is that?
Monica: I don't know.
Monica: Hey, Rachel, how about the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: Wow! Mon, thanks! I love this plate!
Monica: Something to remember me by!
Rachel: Mon, honey you're not dying. I'm just moving out. You know, I mean we're gonna see each other all the time.
Monica: But still, it's a big change. The end of an era, you might say!
Rachel: Are you ok? You're not blinking.
Monica: I'm fine! I just, I'm thinking about how much it's it's an end of era.
Rachel: Oh, all right. But you know, I gotta say, I don't, I don't think six years counts as an era.
Monica: An era is defined as a significant period of time. Now, it was significant to me, maybe it wasn't significant to you!
Rachel: What is the matter with you? !Monica: What is the matter with you? !
Monica: Why aren't you more upset? ! Aren't you gonna be sad that we're we're not living together anymore? ! I mean aren't you gonna miss me at all? !
Rachel: Monica, all right, but don't get mad at me. It's it's just a little hard to believe.
Monica: What's hard to believe?
Rachel: Well, you know, I mean, it's you guys. Youyou do this kind of stuff! You know? I mean, youyou were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out!
Rachel: I guess I'm not upset because I don't see you actually going through with it. I'm sorry.
Monica: Rachel, it's going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here.
Rachel: But I...Monica: I know, wait! Just let me finish, ok?
Monica: This isn't something that we just, just impulsively decided to do inin Vegas, this is something that we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Rachel: It is? Really?
Monica: Yeah, sweetie.
Rachel: You know what, we're not gonna live together anymore?
Rachel: What? Oh my God! I'm gonna miss you so much!
Monica: I'm gonna miss you!
Rachel: I mean it's the end of an era!
Monica: I know!
Phoebe: Ok, bye!
Ross: Oh no.
Phoebe: So? Did you get the annulment?
Ross: I couldn't.
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Ross: It's not that. Ok? Annulments are more complicated than I…
Phoebe: Yeah, complicated 'cause of the love.
Ross: I…I do, I do not love Rachel. I'm gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Would I do that if I loved her?
Phoebe: I've never been more convinced of your love for her.
Ross: I do not have feelings for Rachel! Ok? !
Ross: Ohh, what's wrong? !
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here, I have to move out, everything is changing.
Ross: Oh my G Come here! Come here! It's ok. Uh…Everything's gonna be ok.
Rachel: Thank you. Ross: Of course.
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, you think you and I should hook up?
Phoebe: Oh we do, but not just yet.
Joey: Really? ! Well when?
Phoebe: Ok, umm, well, first Chandler and Monica will get married and be filthy rich by the way. Yeah. But it won't work out.
Joey: Wow. Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: Then, I'm gonna marry Chandler for the money and, you'll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and that's when we get married. We'll have Chandler's money and Rachel's kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachel's drinking problem.
Joey: Oh oh, what about Ross?
Phoebe: I don't wanna go into the whole thing, but umm, we have words and I kill him.