Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
Rachel: That's a good story, Grandpa.
Ross: Wow, Monica's letting other people help decorate her tree? ! Did someone get her drunk again or?
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. It's about being with the people that you love.
Phoebe: That is nice and we're done. tada!
Chandler: I don't know what it is, just doesn't quite feel like Christmas to me.
Monica: Oh, here.
Chandler: See now it feels like Christmas!
Ross: …and that's the story of the dreidel.
Ross: Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolizing life's triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.
Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.
Joey: Hi you guys.
Chandler: Hey Joe, what's up?
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. You know, everywhere I look she's like...
Chandler: I can see why that's hard to resist.
Joey: I like her so much!
Monica: Aw, I'm sorry sweetie that she doesn't feel the same way.
Joey: I know. And she's so sweet. I just wanna feed her grapes and brush her hair.
Chandler: You are aware that she's, not a monkey, right?
Ross: I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now she's like old news!
Janine: Hey guys!
Janine: I just got a call to be a dancer on a television special for New Year's Eve. It's called some sort of Dicking Rocking Dickie Eve.
Monica: Hold it! Are you talking about Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve?
Janine: Yeah, that's what they said.
Monica: Oh my God! We love that show! I mean Ross and I've been watching it since I, I can remember!
Chandler: Ah, you're still just a little fat girl inside aren't you?
Janine: Well I'm gonna be on it this year. I'm gonna be one of the party people.
Ross: Wh? you're gonna be a party person? ! Those guys rock the most!
Janine: Well they said I should bring someone. Do you wanna be my dance partner?
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Year's with you.
Janine: Well actually they're taping tomorrow. I don't really understand why.
Ross: Oh, well you see, how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Time Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Janine: Yeah well, do you guys wanna come too?
Ross: Are you serious?
Monica: We are there!
Chandler: What, what are you laughing at?
Rachel: Well, I used to date him, but you're still going out with her!
Janine: Oh thanks. Great! So we can all go together! I I gotta run. Catch you later!
Ross: Bye Janine!
Joey: Did she just ask me out on a date?
Chandler: I don't think so.
Monica: What what're you talking about? She just invited him to the biggest party of the millennium!
Rachel: Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, I'm, I'm sorry, but I don't think that was a romantic thing.
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey, I know how I can find out. Well we're going to a New Year's Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! You know? But if she says 'Dude, what the hell are you doing?' I can say 'It wasn't me, it was New Years!'
Rachel: Well, that's a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in high school, and saying that he did it because he needed a ChapStick.
Ross: It was a dry day.
Monica: We are going to Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve!
Ross: Oh my God!
Monica: Oh my God!
Chandler: Oh my God!
Joey: OK, listen up, I've been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright?
Joey: It's a show, but we're just dancing, OK? It's no big deal. Important thing you remember stay cool.
Ross: Got it! Oh my God, it's just like I dreamed it!
Director: OK, everyone, gather up.
Monica and Ross:'Scuse us.
Director: Here's what's gonna happen. The music's gonna start, you're gonna dance, we're gonna tape, you don't look at the camera. Any questions?
Ross: Uh yeah, I have a question. Uh when is this gonna air?
Director: Yeah. Now you guys dance over there, you guys, over there, and I want you two right around here, and everyone else spread out.
Monica: You know what? We'd rather not dance together because…umm. see, we're brother and sister.
Ross: Yeah, itit would seem kinda weird.
Director: Would it seem as weird as coming all the way down here and then having to go home right now?
Joey: Ross! So when is it gonna air?
Rachel: Ok, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Chandler: What? That's terrible!
Phoebe: No no, we do it every year!
Chandler: Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible.
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! She's always bested us that wily minx.
Rachel: Yeah, don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK?
Chandler: No, not ok, you can't look for Monica's presents!
Phoebe: But we have to!
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I I live here too.
Phoebe: Well, then, you should look with us.
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Oh, that's it? A great idea oh yeah.
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents?
Rachel: And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: If I help, we can find them faster!
Rachel: That's right!
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, we have a live one!
Rachel: Oh, it's a Macy's bag! Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Ooh, who's it for?
Rachel: Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.Chandler, I knew they'd break you.
Phoebe: Uh oh. She may be onto us.
Rachel: We are so gonna find them this year.
Chandler: You know when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you don't, you don't do that every year do you?
Chandler: You don't, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Phoebe and Rachel: No, we never do that.
Chandler: Because that's where Joey gave me some stuff to store that I've never seen before in my life! Ok, that did not just happen!
Monica: Ok, here comes another camera.
Ross: Right. No biggie. Stay loose.
Ross: Why do they keep doing that?
Monica: Aw! You know, if we wanna get on camera, we have to get up on one of those platforms. They've been taping those people up there all day.
Ross: Hey, what'd you guys do to get up on there?
Girl: We learned how to dance.
Monica: Oh yeah? Well when you learned how to dance did you forget how to put on underpants?
Janine: Hey! You're a good dancer!
Janine: Yeah, well you'd be better if you just loosened your hips a little.
Joey: Oh, wh what do you mean?
Janine: Like this.
Janine: That's it, feel the rhythm. That's better.
Joey: Uh huh.
Director: Ok, you're dancing with that girl over there.
Joey: No no no no no we came together!
Director: I don't see it. You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand!
Joey: No no hey hey, hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot.
Director: Really, you think so? I don't.
Chandler: I couldn't find anything at Joey Hey hey, oh hey!
Rachel: Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats.
Phoebe: Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cause they're all crap!
Chandler: Those are my gifts, I got those for you.
Phoebe: Ohh. Thanks, Chandler they're great!
Rachel: Well, Chandler, then what is this very weird, um metal A Z thing?
Chandler: Those are bookends! That's a great gift!
Phoebe: Oh, ok, I'm sorry, thank you for my azzz.
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, ok?
Rachel: Yes, ok, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
Joey: Hey hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just…Here we go.
Joey: Looking good Gellers!
Ross: We know!
Monica: Look, the snippy guy over there? He's the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
Director: Ok, everybody hold! Next on the platforms are…you two! And…You two!
Monica: Excuse me, sir, would it help if I weren't wearing underpants?
Ross: Would it?
Ross: How about me?
Joey: Hey! Tall guy! Listen, I uh wanted to talk to you about that that girl that you're dancing with.
Tall Guy: Uh she's nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, ok. Uh, loo look buddy, I came with that girl, ok?
Joey: And I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown, I'm trying to win her over, you know, so I was wondering…
Tall Guy: No I don't think so.
Joey: Oh come on man, youyou can dance with my partner, she's uh, she's real mellow!
Tall Guy: Look, you're you dating this girl you came with?
Joey: Well, I was hoping after tonight that maybe I could you know…
Tall Guy: Nah, nah. She's fair game if you ask me, sorry buddy!
Joey: Alright, hey, you know, fair is fair, I mean you know, when you're right, you're right, what can I say, but hey oh no!
Tall Guy: God! What are you, in second grade?
Joey: Hey, man, you're the one who wets pants.
Rachel: You guys, I'm telling you, Monica would not hide the presents down here.
Chandler: No, but she did. Look, there's that old hippie I've always wanted.
Rachel: Well, you know what? If they are here, Gunther knows about it. Oh, and I could get it out of him. He's had a huge crush on me.
Phoebe: No, no! That's not fair to play with his head, though. No, you do it, Rachel.
Rachel: Hey Gunther. Hi. Getting to be that holiday time again huh?
Gunther: Yes, it's like a miracle.
Rachel: And you know, I was thinking, you know since it's the time of giving gifts, I was wondering are there any, presents around here for me?
Rachel: You know what I mean?
Phoebe: Hey, I think I've found them.
Chandler: That's the Toys for Tots collection bin.
Phoebe: Well that's awfully convenient, don't you think?
Chandler: For the tots it is.
Rachel: Hey, you guys, guess what?
Phoebe: Did you find them? !
Rachel: No, Gunther fainted.
Monica: Man, this sucks! You know if mom and dad don't see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, who's gonna be the losers then?
Ross: Hey, I know what'll get us up on a platform!
Ross: The routine!
Monica: Ross, we haven't done the routine since middle school.
Ross: Hey, when the snippy guy sees the routine, he'll wanna build us our own platform!
Monica: Was it really that good?
Ross: Wh? we got honorable mention in the brother/sister dance category!
Ross: Look, it's almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice?
Monica: Ok, let's do it. Oh mom and dad are gonna be so faced! 5 6 7 8!
Ross: So, do we really need to ask who's going up on the platform next?
Director: Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that!
Director: Make sure you get this, Dick's gonna want it for the blooper show.
Director: Alright, cut!
Director: Listen up, everyone, when we start again, it's gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybody's excitement.
Tall Guy: Hey, guy, you got about three seconds to get away from my partner.
Director: Oh what's going on over here?
Joey: Oh ju, take a look at the guy's pants!
Joey: Huh? I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but don't you think he went a little overboard?
Director: What's the matter with you? Get out of here!
Joey: Yeah, take a hike wetpants!
Ross: Can you believe this? We're gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!
Monica: I know! Hey, you haven't been practicing the routine, have you?
Monica: Me too!
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe going into the robot, you know?
Monica: Ross, I think we should just stick to the routine, we don't wanna look stupid!
Director: Alright we're back! Ten seconds left, here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!
Joey's Head: Ok, it all comes down to this. Whatever happens, happens. Destiny.
All: Three, Two, One!
Joey: No! Year! Happy No Year!
Director: Ok, here's where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone that's a wrap!
Monica: Hey, what did that snippy guy say?
Ross: Uh, I think he's kicking out anyone who's not dancing. So just keep dancing.
Phoebe: Hey! Look who I found!
Chandler: Oh, hi guys!
Phoebe: Ha ha. You know, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Phoebe: Oh. Or we could just follow your clever jokes any ideas? No! Didn't think so! Ok, come on, guys, show us where the presents are!
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica that's as good as garbage?
Phoebe: Hmm, how about my azzz?
Rachel: Hey, this is hollow.
Rachel: This bench, it's hollow!
Rachel: I can't believe I never knew that!
Rachel: Oh, the presents! !!
Phoebe: No, don't look directly at them!
Phoebe: Alright, no, we could look at them! Oh, this one's for me! Oh, this one's for Chandler. Here.
Chandler: All right!
Phoebe: And the big one's for me!
Rachel: Ooh, let's open them!
Chandler: Ok! Ok! Ok!
Phoebe: Hee hee!
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait wait, we can't do this.
Phoebe and Rachel: Why?
Chandler: I don't wanna know what Monica got me. You know?
Chandler: I mean, look, I'm sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look, we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Rachel: Whatever Linus, I'm opening mine.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything, ok? Look, I don't know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monica's face when I give her my present, and I'm sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put 'em back?
Phoebe: Will you get us better gifts?
Monica: Hey guys!
Monica: You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
Chandler: That's what you got me?
Phoebe: Oh yes, I see what you mean. That look is priceless.
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we uh, know how the New Year's gonna go off.
Joey: I guess there's no reason for all that Y2K panic, you know? Anyway, good night!
Janine: Happy New Year.
Joey: Oh, yoii. Wh what was that for?
Janine: Well, I don't know tonight when they yelled cut and we didn't get to kiss, I was really, really, disappointed, and I just, I just really wanted to kiss you.
Joey: Really? In the moment, I I really wanted to kiss you too. I mean in the moment.
Janine: In the moment, huh?
Joey: Yeah, well. But only in the moment, yeah.
Joey: So do you uh, wanna kiss again?
Janine: Sure, New Year's Eve is only two weeks away.
Janine: Can you wait?
Janine: Me neither.
Janine: Joey, you don't have to count down every time we kiss.
Joey: Uh, ok. Except I, sort of felt like I needed a couple of seconds to get ready.
Monica: We were on the platform, ready to dance the world into the new Millennium, and the guy yelled 'CUT!'
Phoebe: Oh, oh, so Joey didn't get to kiss Janine? Ross: Nope, he sure didn't.
Rachel: Wow, so then I guess that mean that you guys are still tied.
Ross: Oh, I don't know about that. I think she saw us do our routine. Yeah, I may have boogied right into the first place.
Rachel: Wait a minute, so wh, you guys are telling me that you actually did the routine from eighth grade?
Monica: Yeah. But, of course we had to update it a little bit. Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Rachel: Yeah. 'Cause I was gonna say there's no way you could've done the end the way you guys did it back then!
Monica: What? We could do it!
Ross: I don't know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.
Monica: I can do it, ok? Come on, let's go.
Monica and Ross: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8
Monica: I can't do it!
Chandler: Now you do that, you're on TV.