Phoebe: Hi, you guys.
Rachel: What's the matter?
Phoebe: Well it's just it's one of those situations that I just hate. You know? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.
Joey: Now you're thinking you gotta sleep with him.
Phoebe: No! No! It's just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us!
Chandler: I'll give up my ticket.
Joey: Me too.
Phoebe: Ok, that's so generous!
Chandler: And I think Ross is generous too.
Phoebe: Great! Ok then it's just us girls!
Monica and Rachel: Great.
Rachel: So whatwhat is the exhibit.
Phoebe: It's mostly just photographs of, um lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.
Joey: Oh man!
Rachel: Hi there!
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans, Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
Monica: Oh that's great!
Monica: I mean think about all the money that you're gonna make!
Ross: Why? What?
Monica: Well, her father pays you for babysitting right?
Ross: No, no, that's funny. But maybe it's time to move on, you know, let it go, stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeth's father, so ah, he's much older than she is. Looks like I'm not the only one interested in fossils, huh?
Rachel: I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.
Ross: Ok, ok. Uh, well uh, Rachel is gonna need to yell sweet nothings in his ear.
Ross: Oh, come on, you guys, that's funny! You know?
Ross:'Cause he's gonna need he's got like a hearing aid you know, 'cause' cause you know, 'cause he's all old, and...
Paul: One second. Ok look, Ross, just so you know, since Lizzie likes you so much, I've decided to accept the fact that you're going out with her.
Ross: Really? That ok, that's great.
Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. I'm funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now I'm telling you, I don't want you seeing my daughter anymore.
Ross: All right look, I I realize it upsets you.
Paul: Yes it does.
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are are both adults and so I don't think there's really anything you can do about it.
Paul: I'll call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired.
Ross: Ohh! A man with a plan!
Phoebe: Oh, this is so exciting! You get your picture back up on the wall of fame! Eek!
Joey: Yeah, he's got all the big actors. Yeah. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be cracking up about something... Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now he's just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, I'll...
Phoebe: Ohh, ok maybe when they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, just smiling at me. Yeah, I know, we'd be great together!
Joey: Hey! So I'm back.
The Dry Cleaner: Who are you?
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! Ok, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? Huh? Ok eh ah anyway, I'm ready to go back up on the wall I'm the star of a new TV show.
The Dry Cleaner: Show me in the TV book.
Joey: Oh well, it's not on TV yet.
The Dry Cleaner: Well, then it's not on the wall yet.
Joey: Ok, fine, I will bring you a tape, huh?
Phoebe: So umm, now, do you have any of Matt Lauer's clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that haven't been cleaned yet?
Monica: Oh, I love museums!
Monica: Soaking up all the culture.
Monica: Where do you wanna start?
Rachel: Ooh, the gift shop!
Phoebe: Hey, and then lunch.
Rachel: Oh, wait yes, but I can't eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned.
Phoebe: Oh, wow. What do you think, maybe he's gonna tell you that he's gay?
Rachel: What? ! No! Why? !
Phoebe: No reason! That would just be a really big surprise, right?
The Museum Official: And you can put the aisle over here, and then have the wedding ceremony right over here.
Rachel: I do not know you could get married here.
Monica: This would be a beautiful place to get married, yeah, but I wouldn't put the aisle there and I would never have the ceremony there!
Monica: Youyou'd have the ceremony under this big beautiful arch.
The Museum Official: May I help you?
Rachel: Oh sorry didn't mean to interrupt. It's just such a beautiful space; do you do a lot of weddings here?
The Museum Official: Yes. We're very popular. There's a two year waiting list. Sorry!
Rachel: Monica, you should totally put your name down for this place.
Monica: What? ! Are you crazy? ! I'm not getting married! I'm not even engaged.
Phoebe: Yeah, but there's a two year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you've gotta wait another two years for this place? That's four years. Chandler's not gonna wait that long. He's gonna find somebody else, you know? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list.
Rachel: Yeah and honey, it can't hurt to put your name down! I mean if in two years if you're not engaged you just don't use it.
Monica: Well, I mean I guess there is no harm in putting my name down.
Rachel: I'm gonna do it too!
Phoebe: Me too!
Rachel: Really? Who would, who would you marry?
Phoebe: I don't know, I don't have anyone right now. You know?
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs.
Phoebe: Don't feel too sorry for me. At least my boyfriend isn't gay.
Monica: Phoebe, that's not really...
Phoebe: Don't even get me started on yours!
Joey: Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show?
The Dry Cleaner: I did.
Joey: All right, let's get me back up there!
The Dry Cleaner: No! It don't go up on the wall!
Joey: What? But you saw the show!
The Dry Cleaner: Yes, it was very offensive to my people!
Joey: Dry cleaners?
The Dry Cleaner: Russians! It showed them as terrorists and villains!
Joey: Ok! Ok, look! Youyouyou got Harrison Ford up there!
The Dry Cleaner: That's right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing!
Joey: Ok well that may be true. But, inin, Air Force One, ok? The Russians were terrorists! And evil!
Joey: And plus he kills a bunch of them! That that that's offensive to Russians.
The Dry Cleaner: I've never seen it!
Joey: Oh you should, it's great.
Ross: This place is really beautiful!
Elizabeth: Yeah, I've been coming here since I was a kid. This used to be my Grandma's.
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes.
Ross: I mean not not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyes Do do you wanna make out?
Elizabeth: Are you ok? What's wrong?
Ross: Ehh, yeah, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
Elizabeth: Well, whatever works for ya……
Ross: No. No no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before.
Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, we find it fun hiding it.
Elizabeth: Hey, umm, you brought protection, right?
Ross: Why? ! Are there like bears or something? ! Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah no, yeah no, that that that I forgot. I can't believe I brought two cans of bug spray and forgot that.
Elizabeth: I'll just run to the store and get some.
Ross: Oh no! Hey hey, I'm the guy! I'll get it.
Elizabeth: Do you know where the store is?
Elizabeth: Do you, you wanna ride around town on my little pink bicycle?
Ross: A little bit.
Elizabeth: I'll be back in ten minutes.
Elizabeth: Why don't you get in the hot tub and I'll meet you there.
Ross: Ohh, ok.
Rachel: Oh my God, what a great surprise! This is such a beautiful house.
Paul: Thank you, it's my mom's. So this is the kitchen.
Joey: Hey Chandler!
Chandler: Hey Joe. Everybody's gotta be doing something.
Chandler: You've reached Monica and Chandler's, if you're listening to this message, we're probably screening. Yeah we are.
The Museum Official: Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if she's still interested in having the Bing Geller wedding at our facility, it is available...
Chandler: This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! Yes, the groom No, not the groom!
Rachel: So secluded up here.
Paul: I know. It's why I like it here.
Rachel: I feel like we're the only two people in the world. Oops. Sorry.
Paul: What's the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse?
Rachel: No no! Big bear! Big bear outside! I think I I would you actually, would you, would you go check on that?
Paul: Honey, we don't have any bears here.
Rachel: Well, ok. Would would you get me a Diet Coke?
Paul: Ok. Be right back.
Rachel: What? ! What are you doing here? !
Ross: What are you doing here? !
Rachel: I came with Paul!
Ross: Yeah, I recognize the ankles!
Rachel: Wh Where is Elizabeth?
Ross: She she's at the store.
Rachel: Wha you make the girl go to the store?
Ross: Do I know where the store is?
Rachel: Hurry up. Get out.
Paul: Here you go honey!
Rachel: Ahh. Thank you!
Paul: Diet Coke.
Rachel: Op, ice. I need ice.
Rachel: Thank you.
Paul: Be right back.
Ross: You and your ice.
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! Quick! No! Not in there! Not in there! He's in there!
Ross: Did you really hear a bear?
Rachel: Go go!
Paul: Here you go honey. One Diet Coke with ice.
Rachel: Ohh, thank you.
Paul: I'm so happy that you're here.
Elizabeth: Here I am!
Paul: Elizabeth! Oh look, Elizabeth's here!
Paul: Who're you talking to?
Elizabeth: You guys?
Paul: How did you know we were here?
Rachel: Well, she she ob obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage.
Paul: Elizabeth, what're you doing here? !
Rachel: Diddid you come up here to work on that term paper or something?
Elizabeth: Yeah! Yep.
Rachel: Well, why don't you, you know, go in that room and do your homework?
Elizabeth: Ohh, I wouldn't do it in there. That's my dad's bedroom.
Rachel: That's your, that's your dad's bedroom. That's your dad's bedroom!
Paul: Why are you yelling?
Rachel: Whoa, that Diet Coke I think it just went straight to my head! Woo!
Monica: Hi, honey.
Chandler: See you later.
Monica: What? I I bought groceries, I was just gonna make you dinner!
Chandler: Well next time ask! Or at least wait for me to ask!
The Museum Official: Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller.
Monica: Oh no!
The Museum Official: I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if she's still interested in having the Bing Geller wedding at our facility, it is available.
Monica: Oh please, he didn't hear it! He didn't hear it! !
Chandler: This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing!
Female Clerk: Can I help you?
Joey: Uh yeah, where where's the guy who decides who's pictures go up on the wall?
Female Clerk: He's not here right now.
Joey: Oh, you're kidding me!
Joey: All all right, well make sure you tell him that Joey Tribbiani stopped by to drop off all of these clothes. Ok? I'm an actor, I'm trying to get my picture up there on the wall.
Female Clerk: You know, there are two people who could put your picture up there.
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? You're the other one right?
Paul: So Lizzie, are are are you planning on staying the night?
Elizabeth: Oh no no believe me, I'm leaving as soon as possible!
Paul: Good. Good. Not that we don't want you to stay, obviously you're welcome How much more homework do you have?
Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you wanna come upstairs and help me figure it out?
Rachel: Really? Ok. Ok, I I'll go upstairs. If if you get me something from the car.
Paul: What do you need from the car?
Rachel: Surprise me.
Rachel: So you're gonna be in the car, I will be upstairs, and that's where everybody's gonna be!
Paul: Just relax. Just relax Paul, you're doing great. She likes you. She...Maybe, she likes you.
Paul: She likes you. You know why? Because you're a neat guy. You are the man. You are the man!
Paul: Still got it. Nice and sexy. You're just a love machine.
Paul: I'm just a love machine and I won't work for nobody but you! Hey baby! Showtime. I'm just a love machine, hey baby!
Monica: Have you seen Chandler? !
Phoebe: No! Why?
Monica: The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard!
Monica: I know! How bad is this? !
Phoebe: Well for the regular guy, it's bad, with Chandler, Oh dear God!
Monica: I know! I know! And he totally freaked out and I can't find him anywhere!
Phoebe: Wh what are you gonna do?
Monica: Well, I'm never gonna listen to you again, that's for sure! "You know, what harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"
Phoebe: Rachel said that!
Monica: Well Rachel's not here!
Phoebe: You really think she put your picture up already?
Joey: Did she put my picture up? You kidding, after the date we had? I wouldn't be surprised if she put 10 of my pictures up there.
Joey: Except for the fact that I only gave her one. I don't know where she would get the other nine.
Phoebe: Oh! Here it is! Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?"
Joey: I didn't do that! Who would've done that? !
The Dry Cleaner: Son of a bitch!
Phoebe: Ok, maybe ask this guy.
The Dry Cleaner: You, get out of my shop!
Phoebe: Well, what did he do?
The Dry Cleaner: He went out with my wife!
Joey: Whoa whoa whoa whoa, I I Hey hey, I did not go out with your wife! Ok? I went out with her!
The Dry Cleaner: That's my wife!
Joey: Umumum, I'm not pointing to her, no. I'm pointing at at her. "Zelda McMurray." Who the hell? How did she get up there? !
The Dry Cleaner: Get out...
Phoebe: Well, we should go.
Elizabeth: Ross? Ross?
Ross: Elizabeth! Ok. Ok. I'm gonna go out this window. I'll meet you at the front door. Just tell them you're going home, ok?
Rachel: Oh wait wait wait! ! No! Don't go in there! Don't go in there! I need another soda!
Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heaven's name are you doing here?
Ross: And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
Paul: Ross. You and I are gonna have to have a little talk.
Elizabeth: Daddy! Paul: You're next!
Elizabeth: Ok. I didn't know he was here.
Paul: Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or I'll have you fired. What you heard, was. ‘Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!’
Ross: Ok, please please Paul, just let me explain...
Paul: No, let me explain! Fired!
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not, all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy.
Ross: And I too, am just a love machine.
Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.
Monica: I'm so sorry. Please, stop freaking out.
Chandler: I'm not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday.
Monica: Honey, we were at this beautiful place, and I I I just put our names down for fun! I mean, what's the harm in that?
Chandler: Right here!
Monica: Chandler, please don't think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel just thought...
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel!
Chandler: So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
Monica: It was a mistake. Please don't take this to mean anything, because it doesn't.
Chandler: Yes, if it really doesn't mean anything, because you know that I'm just not ready...
Monica: I know! I know.
Monica: All right, I'm gonna go tell Joey that that you're back. I was really worried about you. And you know that guy that never delivered his burrito? He thought there was some sort of connection.
Phoebe: Hey, did she buy it?
Phoebe: So did Heldi show you the place?
Chandler: Yeah, it's beautiful.
Phoebe: I can't believe you're gonna ask Monica to marry you!
Chandler: I know.
Joey: Hey Gunther.
Gunther: Hey! Take these cappuccinos to table 11 and that guy over there wants the biscotti.
Joey: Oh uh, well I just actually came in for a cup of coffee to go.
Gunther: Do you still work here?
Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. Did I forget to tell you that? I'm sorry.
Gunther: Oh that's cool, I was gonna fire you anyway.