Chandler: Too many jokes...must mock Joey.
Joey: Nice shoes, huh?
Chandler: Aah, you are killing me!
Monica: Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again!
Ross: Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?
Monica: Do you always have to bring him here?
Ross: Look, I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We...we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he threw some faeces...
Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.
Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.
Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
David: But, you can't actually test this theory, because today's particle accelerators are nowhere near powerful enough to simulate these conditions.
Phoebe: Okay, alright, I have a question, then.
Phoebe: Um, were you planning on kissing me ever?
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. and, uh, the answer would be yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
David: Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... Sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.
Phoebe: Oh, David, I, I think you are a sweeping sort of fella. I mean, you're a sweeper!...trapped inside a physicist's body.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, oh, I'm sure of it. You should just do it, just sweep and throw me.
David: Now? Now?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, right now.
David: Okay, okay. Y'know what, this was just really expensive. and I'll take...this was a gift.
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just kinda tidying.
David: Okay, okey, what the hell, what the hell.
David: You want me to actually throw you or you you wanna just hop?
Phoebe: I can hop.
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Monica: Okay, look, I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.
Chandler: Fun Bobby? Your ex-boyfriend Fun Bobby?
Joey: You know more than one Fun Bobby?
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
Rachel: Okay, here we go...
Joey: Ooh ooh ooh ooh, there's no room for milk! There! Now there is.
Ross: Okay, so on our no-date evening, three of you now are going to have dates.
Joey: Uh, four.
Rachel: Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight.
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Ross: Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone when the ball drops?
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no one'll know who's with who.
Ross: They will all know. Hey, y'know, this is so not what I needed right now.
Monica: What's the matter?
Ross: Oh, it's...it's Marcel. He's angry with me again. I have no idea why, he keeps shutting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his hands...
Chandler: That's so weird. I had such a blast with him the other night.
Chandler: Yeah, we played, we watched TV...that juggling thing is amazing.
Ross: What, uh...what juggling thing?
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
Chandler: Y'know, it wasn't that big a deal. He just balled up socks...and a melon...
Max: Phoebe. Hi.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Max! Hey, do you know everybody?
Max: No. Have you seen David?
Phoebe: No, no, he hasn't been around.
Max: Well, if you see him, tell him to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk.
Max: Minsk. It's in Russia.
Phoebe: I know where Minsk is.
Max: We got the grant, three years, all expenses paid.
Chandler: And if you are going to Minsk, you know that's the only way to go.
Phoebe: So when, when do you leave?
Max: January first.
David: Hi! What're you doing here?
Phoebe: Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so, you know, congratulations! This is so exciting!
Max: Yeah, It'd be even more exciting if we were going.
Phoebe: Oh, you're not going? Oh, why?
Max: Tell her, David. 'I don't wanna go to Minsk and work with Lifson and Yamaguchi and Flench, no no no no no no no. I wanna stay here and make out with my girlfriend! !'
David: Thank you, Max. Thank you.
Phoebe: So...so you're really not going?
David: I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I just, how can I leave you? I just found you.
Phoebe: Oh, David. But what are you gonna do?
David: I don't know, you decide.
Phoebe: Oh don't do that.
Phoebe: Oh no no.
David: No, but I'm asking you.
Phoebe: I can't do that, it's a serious thing and I can't...
David: No, but I can't make the decision.
Phoebe: Okay, um, stay.
Phoebe: Stay. Getting so good at that!
David: It was Max's stuff.
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow!
Chandler: You remember Janice.
Monica: Vividly. How are you?
Janice: Oh, I am fantastic now. You know what is totally amazing, it's just we have been back together for like what, like ten minutes and...
Chandler: is that all?
Janice: It's like we were never apart. You know, I mean, of course, we were, but forgive and forget. Well, forget.
Sandy: Hi, I'm Sandy.
Joey: Sandy! Hi! C'mon in! You brought your kids.
Sandy: Yeah. That's okay, right?
Monica: That thing is not coming in here.
Ross: 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?
Monica: I'm thinking your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table.
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened.
Monica: Alright, alright, Just keep him away from me.
Ross: Thank you. C'mon, Marcel, what do you say you and I do a little mingling? Alright, I'll, uh...catch up with you later.
Monica: Oh my gosh! Rachel, honey...are you okay? Where...where's Paolo?
Rachel: Rome. Jerk missed his flight.
Phoebe: And then...your face exploded?
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman, this blonde planet with a pocketbook starts yelling at me, something about how it was her cab first.And then the next thing I know she just starts starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the curb and cut my lip on my whistle... oh...everybody having fun at the party? Are people eating my dip?