Ross: God, that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. You've bought like a billion of them.
Ross: Yeah, you didn't get one.
Chandler: Ok, well tonight's the big night.
Joey: Hey, listen, how are you gonna ask her?
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. I'm going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves, therefore knows how expensive it is. Then, when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast I'm just gonna propose.
Joey: That sounds perfect!
Joey: You're gonna mess it up let me do it.
Chandler: I'm not gonna mess it up.
Phoebe: If she says no, can I have the ring?
Chandler: She's not gonna say no.
Rachel: Well, w w wait, what about me? I want one too.
Chandler: She's not gonna say no!
Phoebe: I'll let you borrow it.
Phoebe: Hi Monica.
Chandler: Give it.
Phoebe: It's gone.
Chandler: Hi Monica.
Phoebe: We're practically kissing.
Joey: Hey Rach!
Rachel: Are any of you guys free tonight?
Rachel: My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler?
Chandler: Well, Monica and Chandler can't go. We're going to dinner remember? !
Rachel: Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
Monica: What's the big deal?
Chandler: I just get mad when Rachel doesn't remember where we're going.
Joey: Where are you going?
Rachel: How about you guys?
Phoebe: Open bar?
Rachel: I think so.
Phoebe: I can do that for the kids.
Joey: Hey, you know what? I'll come too. I'm making money now; it's about time I give something back.
Chandler: Well, you could also give back the money you owe me.
Joey: Ok. Have a benefit.
Rachel: Hey! Ross, listen, can you come to a charity event tonight?
Ross: Oh no, I have plans with Elizabeth.
Chandler: Oh, so you're already doing your part for the kids.
Ross: Sorry, it's just one of our last nights together before she leaves for camp to be a counselor!
Monica: Ross, let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Chandler: Wait a minute, all jokes aside? I didn't agree to that!
Monica: Do you really see this as a long term thing?
Ross: I don't know.
Phoebe: You know, you are 12 years older than her.
Ross: Well, who's counting?
Chandler: Well, she is. She's this many.
Joey: Ross, she is really young.
Ross: Wait a minute, does does everyone feel this way?
All: Yeah! Yeah, sort of. I'm sorry.
Ross: Uh uh Wow! Uh, I thought you guys were just, like making jokes, I had no idea. Well you know what? You guys are wrong. Oh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesn't really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, I'm the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Joey: That's not what she said last night.
Rachel: See? Now, he could date her.
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Hey, you marry me! What's going on little elves?
Joey: It's the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck!
Ross: Yeah, yeah, you have the ring?
Chandler: Yeah, right here in my pocket.
Phoebe: Oh! Oop!
Chandler: Ok, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and she's gonna know.
Ross: Yeah yeah you guys. Get out of here!
Monica: Hi guys.
Chandler: You look beautiful.
Monica: Oh, thank you! What's going on?
Rachel: We're just really…excited about this charity event that we've to go to.
Rachel: Oh! Thank you!
Phoebe: So, now, what's going on here?
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Phoebe: No, I know what a silent auction is. I meant, what's going on with your hair?
Rachel: Uh, wh why?
Phoebe: No! It's nice!
Mr. Thompson: Nice to see you Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, hi!
Mr. Thompson: So glad you brought someone.
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. He's the head of my department.
Rachel: And I also brought my friend Joey…
Joey: Oh! Shrimp toast!
Rachel: And, you know, I I don't know where he is.
Mr. Thompson: Well, I hope you're gonna bid on some things Rachel.
Rachel: Well, you know what? Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris.
Mr. Thompson: Ohh, nice choice.
Mr. Thompson: Good luck.
Rachel: Thank you. Ok, twenty dollars.
Zoe: Shut the door! Shut the door!
Ross: What's what's going on?
Elizabeth: The guys across the hall are throwing water balloons at us.
Ross: Oh, you have to call the police! That's what I did to the kids in my building!
Elizabeth: No, it's a water balloon fight! We started it!
Ross: Oh! Listen, umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, it's supposed to be excellent. The director is the same…
Elizabeth: Who drank all the Kamikazes?
Sarah: Nobody! We put 'em in here!
Elizabeth: You want some? !
Ross: No! Ok! Ok! Ok, look, can I, can I just just talk to you for a second?
Elizabeth: Yeah, sure.
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? It's it's gotten great reviews! You know the uh…
First Dorm Guy: Attack!
Second Dorm Guy: Put your balloons down!
The Girls: You put your balloons down!
First Dorm Guy: You put your balloons down!
Ross: Everybody put their balloons down! Now this is a nice suit! Now if you'll excuse us, I would like to speak to Elizabeth alone for a moment.
First Dorm Guy: Whoa, Liz, your dad's a bummer.
Mr. Thompson: Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. It goes to Emil Alexander with a high bid of 2,300.
Rachel: Ugh! So close!
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look!
Phoebe: I got me some drinks!
Rachel: What are you doing?
Phoebe: Open bar!免♥费的酒吧嘛！
Rachel: Well now it's an empty bar.
Phoebe: You just can't stand anyone else enjoying themselves can't you?
Mr. Thompson: And finally, our biggest item of the night, the 22 foot gentleman's day sailer sailboat. The winning bid was a whooping $20,000!
Joey: I won! That was my guess!
Rachel: What? ! What? ! What? !
Joey: I guessed 20,000!
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You don't guess, you buy!
Joey: What? ! I don't have 20,000!
Mr. Thompson: Congratulations on your new boat, Joey Tribbiani!
Rachel: Joey! Sit down!
Phoebe: Forget her! You enjoy this! !
Monica: What're you doing?
Chandler: One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. I remembered it. The champagne is here.
Monica: Are you ok?
Chandler: Yes! Yes! I'm good! Are you good? Are you good? Is everything are you are you perrr perfect? !
Monica: Yeah. I'm ok. I'm actually I'm a little cold, can I have your jacket?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Uh, no you can't have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If uh, that you were gonna be cold, you should've brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you ok? Are you ok?
Monica: Are you sure you're ok?
Chandler: Yes! I'm fine. In fact I've been fine for a long time now and I think, the reason is you.
Monica: Ohh that's sweet!
Chandler: Ok. Umm, before I met you I had really little life and I couldn't imagine growing old with…
Monica: Oh my God!
Chandler: I know, but just let me say it.
Monica: Oh my God, Richard.
Chandler: What? ! I'm Chandler! Oh, that's Richard!
Monica: Oh God, maybe he won't see us. Richard!
Richard: Monica! Chandler!
Chandler: Hey hey, hey! I don't know why I did that!
Monica: Hey, it's good to see you!
Richard: You too, you let uh, your hair grow long.
Monica: Yeah Oh that's right. You, you always wanted me too. Hey, I see you got your mustache back.
Richard: Well, my nose got lonely.
Chandler: And uh, you don't have a mustache, which is good. I'm Chandler; I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable.
Richard's Date: Hi, I'm Lisa.
Richard: Oh, I'm sorry. Lisa, Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Chandler: Richard! No one's supposed to know about us! See I, did it again.
Monica: Chandler, wh why don't we sit down?
Chandler: Yeah, I'll sit down.
Monica: It's good to see you
Matired: Your table's ready sir.
Richard: Oh. Good to see you guys.
Richard: Oh. Good to see you guys.
Richard: Oh. This table is available.
Richard: That might be fun.
Rachel: What were you thinking? !
Joey: I didn't know it was an auction!
Rachel: Wh? !
Joey: I figured, take a guess, help a charity, free boat!
Rachel: Why would a charity give away a free boat? !
Joey: I don't know! Charity?
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat!
Rachel: Phoebe, don't you think you've had enough to drink?
Phoebe: I'm just helping the kids!
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Mr. Thompson: Mr. Tribbiani.
Joey: Oh hi!
Mr. Thompson: Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer to building the youth center. I can't tell you how happy I am you brought him.
Rachel: Oh, so so am I.
Joey: Just out of curiosity, how how much is that boat worth?
Mr. Thompson: I think it was valued at 19,000.
Joey: Hey, I was pretty close. Uhh, so, bad news. Umm, I can't buy the boat, I don't have any money.
Rachel: Joey! Joey, good one!
Mr. Thompson: That's good. Very good!
Joey: So uh listen, I think I'm gonna take off now.
Rachel: Hey! You...can't...leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right? ! It is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Joey: Well, what am I gonna do, Rach? ! I don't have that kind of money!
Rachel: I know. Ok. Ok. Ok. All right. All right, this is what we're gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then you're just gonna pay the difference.
Joey: Look, I don't know why the kids need a youth center anyway! You know? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
Rachel: Not great.
Phoebe: Boy, I'm helping the kids so much I think I'm gonna throw up.
Monica: And so, we're hiding in the bathroom.
Richard: And and then I sneak out but before Monica can her parents come in.
Monica: Yeah. So I hide in the shower and then the next thing you know, they're going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Lisa: Oh my God!
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
Richard: It's so great seeing you guys again. I'd like to make a toast.
Richard: Uh, as a poet once said, ‘In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.’
Chandler: What? !
Ross: Oh my God, you guys! !
Chandler: Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!
Ross: Oh! A ohh! Ohh. Oh that's rightm, that's right. That's Richard's favorite place too.
Chandler: Oh you knew that. Good!
Monica: I thought you were going out with Elizabeth.
Ross: Yeah, I was, but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
Monica: Oh Ross, sometimes grown ups have commitments they just can't get out of!
Ross: You know, maybe she is too young for me. You know, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a babysitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I don't know what to do.
Monica: Why don't you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean that's what I did when I first started weighing stuff.
Ross: Ok umm, bad stuff. Well, I'm I'm 12 years older than she is.
Monica: If the school finds out you're fired.
Monica: She's leaving for three months.
Chandler: For camp!
Ross: Ok, good stuff. Umm, well she's she's sweet and pretty and…
Chandler: and the sex is probably pretty great, uh?
Ross: Oh. Oh! Heh heh. It's tender and respectful if that's what you mean.
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, ‘Do you see a future?’ I mean like do you see yourself marrying her?
Monica: Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didn't you? !
Ross: No! No! I...didn't do that. It's just...Ok, honestly no. I don't, I don't see a big future with her.
Monica: Ok well I I think...that's your answer.
Ross: I gotta talk to her. Ugh, I hate this part.
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if you're not careful you may not get married at all this year!
Ross: Chandler, isn't there something you were supposed to do tonight?
Chandler: Oh good luck with the Elizabeth thing man.
Phoebe: Whoo! My God Phoebe, how many have you had?
Phoebe: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven times three 21.
Rachel: You must be just wasted.
Phoebe: Well....a little tired.
Joey: Rach! Rach! Ok, the next highest bidder is at table one.
Rachel: Oh great!
Joey: Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Phoebe: Oh, ok.
Rachel: Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
Phoebe: It's a trip for two! 'Scuse me. 'Scuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
Emil Alexander: That was me.
Phoebe: Oh, enchantée.
Joey: Uhh, 'scuse me, is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
Mr. Bowmont: That's me.
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day, Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer has just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Joey: You you have to pay that! It's not just a guess.
Mr. Bowmont: I was actually relieved uh I didn't win the boat. My wife would've killed me.
Joey: Are you kidding me? ! She's gonna love this boat!
Rachel: Yea Yeah! What what is your wife's name?
Mr. Bowmont: It's Pam.
Rachel: Pam! Oh God ok, just imagine this, ‘The Pam.’
Mr. Bowmont: I don't think she'd like that.
Rachel: Ok, uh uh imagine this, ‘The Mr. Bowmont.’
Mr. Bowmont: I don't think so, dear.
Rachel: Ok, look, let me paint you a little picture. All right, you are setting sail up the Hudson! You got the wind in your ha arms! You you get all that peace and quiet that you've always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishing! You can ooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when you're old, Cappy.
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, it's for a good cause! All right!
Joey: No way! It's mine!
Rachel: What? What?
Joey: All that stuff you just said? I want that!
Rachel: But Joey you don't have 20,000!
Joey: Who cares? ! I I'll make payments, whatever it takes, I want the Mr. Bowmont!
Joey: Oh my God, you're back!
Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand!
Monica: Why do you wanna see my hand?
Phoebe: I wanna see what's in your hand. I wanna see the trash.
Phoebe: Eww! Oh, it's all dirty. You should throw this out.
Chandler: What did you guys just do? !
Phoebe: What happened?
Chandler: Richard was there so I couldn't do it!
Joey: What? ! Noooo.
Chandler: I'm gonna do it tomorrow, you know, and and surprise her, but now you've ruined it!
Joey: But we didn't ruin it!
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a person's hands? !
Phoebe: Well, a palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor…
Joey: Glove salesmen!
Phoebe: Good one! Yeah.
Chandler: This is terrible. What am I gonna do?
Phoebe: Look, she only suspects something ok? She doesn't know for sure, so just throw her off the track.
Chandler: That's right, I could throw her off. I could make her think that uh, marriage is the last thing on my mind.
Phoebe: Yeah! Yeah! Convince her that that you're scared of commitment you know, convince her that you're a little coward!
Chandler: I can do that, I've had 30 years of practice.
Joey: Hey, being you is finally gonna pay off!
Monica: I had to go all the way to the basement because some idiot keeps stuffing the trash chute with pizza boxes!
Joey: That guy's still doing that? !
Rachel: Hey! Oh my God you're here, let me see your hand!
Phoebe: No, you're too late! She already took out the trash!
Ross: Look, Elizabeth, we we have to talk.
Ross: Wow! I have never had such a healthy break up! She was such a grownup about it! She didn't seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
Elizabeth: Ross! Wait!
Ross: Elizabeth, thank God! I was just thinking about…
Elizabeth: You suck!
Ross: What? !
Ross: Ok, break up's still on!
Chandler: Ok, ok, here she comes! How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesn't wanna get married?
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. I never noticed that before.
Monica: Hi guys!
Monica: What're you up to?
Chandler: Oh, just hanging out, talking about uh, websites.
Chandler: Yeah, we saw this uh really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how it's just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
Joey: Yeah, Big Brother.
Monica: Well that's a little crazy. Although I am, you know glad to hear that you're branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Chandler: Yeah well. You know, it just got me thinking though, why would anybody ever wanna get married huh?
Monica: Why? ! to celebrate your relationship! to solidify your commitment! to declare your love for one another to the world!
Monica: Ok, well, that's good to know.
Joey: The Mr. Bowmont's here!
Waitress: Hey Monica, there's a customer who wants to compliment the chef, should I let him in?
Monica: Sure, I love this part!
Waitress: Come on in.
Richard: Actually, I'm not here to compliment the chef.
Monica: Ohh...Oh, that's ok. I hate when people come back to compliment the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So what's up? ?
Richard: Well, it was great seeing you, the other night.
Monica: Oh, it's good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Richard: No! I came here to tell you something else. I came here to tell you I still love you.