Monica: Ross, when's this comet thing start?
Ross: Well, technically it seven billion years ago…
All: Oh no! Oh no!
Ross: Okay! Okay! Fine, I'll stop! No teaching, okay? We'll just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky. Okay? Who's official name is Bapstein-King.
All: Okay! Okay!
Phoebe: There it is! Oh, look at that! Isn't Mother Nature amazing?
Chandler: That's a plane!
Phoebe: Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, that's pretty amazing too.
Tag: Hey, I wonder if you can see my apartment from up here.
Rachel: No. No, you can't.
Rachel: Oh, I don't know.
Ross: Man, look at all those stars! Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesn't it?
Joey: You know what else makes you wonder?
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick!
Monica: Okay, we've been out here for two hours and we haven't seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandler's getting chilly.
Chandler: No, I'm not!
Joey: Then why are you wearing Monica's jacket?
Chandler: Because it's flattering! Come on Monica! Come on Monica!
Rachel: Yeah actually, I think we're gonna take off too. We rented a movie.
Phoebe: Oh! I won't say, 'no' to a movie!
Rachel: Uh Pheebs, we just actually kinda wanted to be alone.
Phoebe: Shh! Get me out of here.
Joey: Come here, check this out!
Ross: What? Is it the comet?
Joey: No! No. Look, there's a bug stuck in tar right here.
Ross: Joey come, I can't believe, I bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of nature's most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and some woman!
Joey: You know, there's two women dude.
Ross: Show me where?
Joey: Right up here.
Ross: Joey where's the pipe that was holding the door open?
Joey: I don't know!
Joey: Yeah, I do.
Joey: What? ! All right, Hey! Don't look at me! You're the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Ross: It's called the Bapstein-King comet, okay? Hey! Hey! Bapstein was a very well respected astronomer!
Joey: Oh no! No! No!
Monica: She's sleeping.
Chandler: I know, just quick-quick question, quick question. Which one was Deep Impact and which one was Armageddon?
Monica: Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duval, Armageddon is what's going to happen to you if you wake me up.
Chandler: Sorry, I just…can't sleep. Ooh! Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, Ooh! Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, Because every time I look at that cover I'm like…
Monica: It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.
Chandler: What? !Ow!
Phoebe: Please don't be a space ship. Please don't be a space ship.
Phoebe: Oh thank God!
Phoebe: How could you be beeping? ! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can… Don't interrupt me!
Ross: Rachel! ! Monica! !
Joey: Come on!
Ross: I can't believe this!
Joey: All right well, You know…I guess we know what we have to do to get down.
Ross: Yeah, I guess we don't have a choice. Help us! Please help us! We're stuck up on the roof and we can't get down!
Joey: Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape.
Ross: I know, I wasn't finished. But don't worry! We're gonna go down the fire escape!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought maybe I'd make some warm milk and it would help me sleep.
Monica: With a wok? I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.
Chandler: It got interesting! Damn you Oprah!
Monica: Here, let me make the milk, I'm up anyway.
Chandler: Hey, You know what we can do? You know, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, You know like we did when we were first going out. It'd be fun!
Monica: Okay that does sound like fun.
Chandler: So how bummed were you when the second sister died huh?
Monica: The second sister dies? !
Chandler: No. No. I was talking about the book I was reading.
Monica: The second sister dies in Archie and Jughead Double Digest?
Chandler: That's correct.
Rachel: You wanna go in the bedroom? It's a little more comfortable.
Rachel: Okay. Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?
Tag: This is your idea of sexy talk?
Rachel: No seriously, You know the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Tag: What contracts?
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I don't get.
Tag: Like what?
Rachel: You know, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? Tag! I'm serious! This isn't funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Tag: Rach, I'm sorry, but you didn't give me any contracts!
Rachel: Yes I did! And I put a little Post-It on it that said, "Must go out today," and underlined today three times and, and then I put a little heart in the corner because I didn't want to seem to bossy.
Tag: I'm telling you, you never gave them to me.
Rachel: You know what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.
Tag: No, I would see you looking embarrassed because they are not on my desk!
Rachel: Or maybe you would see me looking embarrassed because you are talking on the phone with your crotch!
Tag: You wanna go down to the office right now?
Rachel: No! Come on its late, we're not gonna go down to the office.
Tag: Okay I understand. I wouldn't want to be proved wrong either.
Rachel: All right, get your coat! Oh! When did you unhook this? Nice work!
Joey: I won't go down any further. It's stuck.
Ross: Ugh. Well, we're just gonna have to jump. Yeah. Now, we're gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay?Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh,and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there…you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it? !
Ross: Yeah! Oh yeah, you'll be fine! it'll be, just like bungee jumping. You know? But instead of bouncing back up you won't.
Joey: What if I smack my head on the concrete?
Ross: Well, I'm gonna lie to you Joey, it's a possibility.
Joey: I don't know Ross! I tell you what, let's flip to see who does it, okay? You call it in the air, all right?
Ross: Oh, all right. Tails! Can you see what it is?
Ross: Okay. Well, you be careful.
Joey: What? No! No Ross! no! Stop! I'm not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I can't go if I break my leg.
Ross: Well I'm jumping! I have a son! Okay? He won't have a father if I die!
Joey: Well all right so, it looks like we're even!
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do… Well done, Pheebs. What do you want from me? !
Monica: Okay, here's your milk. What do you want to talk about?
Chandler: What? What? What?
Monica: Oh~Oh~ Were you sleeping sweetie? I'm sorry. Here.
Tag: Okay! Feel free to look, but I'm telling you those contracts are not on this desk.
Rachel: How can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what I'm talking about! You have to be organized! You've got newspapers! You've got magazines! You got, Oh! And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.
Tag: It's my sister.
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway You know what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk.
Tag: So when do you imagine you gave them to me? In the morning or in the afternoon?
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it that said, "Must go out today."So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Tag: They're not here.
Rachel: Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why don't you, check the copy room? maybe you left the contracts in there.
Tag: How could I have left them in the copy room?
Rachel: I don't know Tag! How can your genitals make phone calls? Okay? It's not a perfect world! Just go please.
Rachel: Thank you.
Rachel: Hello? I still don't get it.
Monica: You still awake?
Chandler: Yeah! You?
Monica: You do know that was me who just said that right? Hey. As long as we're both up…
Chandler: Yeah? I hope you're not thinking about cleaning the living room.
Joey: Man, I'm starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner? ! "Do you want soup or salad?" Both! Always order both!
Ross: You know, You know I'm looking and I don't think anyone's home here. I say we just break the window, crawl through, and You know explain later.
Joey: Yeah? Really? No one's home?
Ross: I don't think so. Hello?
Ross: So when you get in there…
Phoebe: Okay, this is where you and I part ways. Noisy bitch!
Monica: What? ! What are you doing? !
Chandler: Do you know what just happened?
Monica: Yeah. We had sex and then we fell asleep.
Chandler: No. We were in the middle of sex and you fell asleep.
Monica: No! No, that's not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world!
Monica: What? !
Chandler: I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it. So please wake up so we can do it right!
Monica: Okay. Okay, I'm ready. Come on big fella!
Monica: Give me the good stuff.
Chandler: Yeah! No! No! No! Don't fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. And I probably won't spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Monica: Okay, I'm up! I'm up!
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To. So, do you got anything for me?
Tag: Still no luck.
Rachel: Oh my God! Did you check your entire desk! Did you check all the drawers!
Tag: Do you want me to check again?
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. Well, no it's not in there! How about that drawer?
Tag: Well, it's not out here. Is there any chance it could be in your office?
Rachel: You know, I don't know. Let me, let me check.
Tag: Any luck?
Rachel: See you in my office for a minute?
Tag: Yeah? You found them! You know what? I'm not even going to gloat.I'm just really relived this whole thing is over.
Rachel: You put these on my desk!
Tag: I did not!
Rachel: Oh really? So you're saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk? !
Tag: How did you know they were in my bottom drawer?
Rachel: I am so hot for you right now.
Phoebe: Oh my God! How did you get back here? !
A Disembodied Voice: Phoebe Buffay? !
Phoebe: Fire alarm? Oh! Hi, officer—fireman, can I help you?
The Fireman: We found your fire alarm in the trash chute.
Phoebe: That's not mine.
The Fireman: Yes it is.
Phoebe: How do you know?
The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, don't wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."
Phoebe: Okay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!
The Fireman: Please reattach this, it's against the law to disconnect them.
Phoebe: Fine! But please God, tell me how to stop them from going off!
The Fireman: Just press reset button under the plastic cover.
Phoebe: There's a reset button? ! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! There's a reset button! My God! Why didn't I see that! Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button?Oh here it is! Oh! Oh, God!
Ross: Okay, do you have a good grip?
Ross: Okay, I'm going to start climb down you now.
Joey: Just hurry up!
Ross: Okay. Now should I climb down your front so we're face to face or should I climb down your back so we're butt to face.
Joey: I think face to face.
Ross: I would say that.
Joey: Face to face, yeah!
Ross: Okay, here I go.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Oh my… How much do you weigh Ross? !
Ross: I prefer not to answer that right now, I'm still carrying a little holiday weight.
Joey: You know, when we talked about face to face, I don't think we thought it all the way through.
Ross: So what do you want me to do?
Joey: Well, just shimmy down me and drop!
Ross: Maybe I should hang and you can climb down me.
Joey: Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while!
Ross: It's still looks pretty far!
Joey: It's not that far! Just drop!
Ross: Do not rush me!
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are starting to come down and I'm not wearing any underwear!
Ross: Oww! ! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle! I think I twisted it when I…Ooh, a quarter!
Monica: That really was some of your best work.
Chandler: Hm-hmm, I told you! I can't believe that I've only got two hours before I call in sick for work.
Monica: I have to be up in seven minutes.
Chandler: Well, you're not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes…
Monica: Really? !
Chandler: Do you wanna?
Monica: Okay! You get the vacuum cleaner and I'll get the furniture polish!