Joey: Hey! You guys! You're not gonna believe this! I just got off the phone with my agent…
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, too soon. You go.
Joey: I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives!
Phoebe: Good for you!
Monica: Congratulations! Wow! I can't believe you're nominated for an Emmy!
Joey: No, no.
Monica: Oh Soap Opera Digest award!
Joey: No! I'm up for a Soapie!
Monica: Honey? Is that something you're making up?
Joey: No, no, no! It's real! And it has been since 1998. Hey Rach! Rach! I'm up for a Soapie!
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! ! That is like the third most prestigious soap opera award there is!
Joey: Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who I'm taking to the awards.
Rachel: Oh, stop that! Don't kid about that! Will all the stars be there?
Joey: Many are scheduled to appear.
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! I can't go! I'm gonna be too nervous!
Monica: Okay, I'll go!
Rachel: No! !You are getting married! This is all I have.
Ross: …and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand it's collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten it's predator. Yes Mr. Lewis?
Lewis: What kinda noise?
Ross: Just a high pitched intimidating noise.
Lewis: But like how?
Ross: Well we don't know for sure. But in my head it sounded something like this.
Ross: Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, that's all for today. Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Morse: Yes sir.
Ross: Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, I'm afraid I had to fail you.
Morse: Why? !
Ross: Well you need 60% to pass.
Morse: What did I get?
Morse: That's not so good.
Ross: No, no it's not. What happened there Ned?
Morse: Maybe you can cut me some slack. I'm sort of in love.
Ross: I'm sorry but, that's really not my problem.
Morse: I'm in love with you.
Ross: Well, that brings me in the loop a little.
Morse: See, that's why I did so bad on this test. I'm having a hard time concentrating. When you're up there and you're teaching and your face gets all serious. you look so good. You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater…
Ross: Okay! I'm your teacher. I'm sorry, you're a student and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs.
Phoebe: Oh my God! That guy at the counter is totally checking you out!
Monica: Really? My God, he's really cute.
Phoebe: Go for it.
Monica: Phoebe, I'm engaged!
Phoebe: I'm just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and can't perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
The Cute Guy: Hi!
Monica: Can I just tell you something? Very flattered but I'm engaged.
The Cute Guy: Wow! This is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend.
Monica: Well you should be embarrassed.
The Cute Guy: I thought you knew I was looking at you.
Phoebe: I did, but that was really fun.
Joey: The winner is Joey Tribbiani! Oh, Wow! I honestly never expected this. I didn't prepare a speech. But I'd like to thank my parents, who've always been there for me. I'd also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel…
Rachel: I'm fourth!
Rachel: Look at you with your maple syrup award!
Joey: Yeah, Maybe you don't tell anyone about this.
Rachel: No! It's not a big deal! I do that too, with my shampoo bottle.
Joey: What award are you practicing for?
Rachel: Grammy, Best New Artist.
Joey: Oh, hey listen! The Soapie's called today and I also get to present an award.
Rachel: Oh that's great!
Rachel: So you'll definitely get onstage, even if you don't win.
Joey: You don't think I'm gonna win?
Rachel: Of course I do! But you know, favorite returning character is a tough category Joey. I mean you're up against the guy who survived his own cremation.
Joey: Yeah. No, I know I might not win, but it's just…I've never even been nominated before! I want it so much.
Rachel: Well Joey, you'll probably get it. But you should probably your gracious loser face. You know when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. You know? So it's sorta like…
Rachel: You know?
Joey: You practice losing the Grammies too?
Rachel: Oh no, at the Grammies I always win.
Phoebe: Oh hey!
Monica: Hey! How'd your date go with Jake?
Phoebe: Oh, great! We couldn't keep our eyes off each other all night and then every once and a while you know, he'd kinda lean over and stroke my hair and touch my neck.
Monica: Okay, stop it Phoebe, you're getting me all tingly.
Phoebe: All I could think of was you know, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"
Monica: And did he?
Phoebe: I'm a lady Monica, I don't kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself.
Monica: Okay, I got it. I got it.
Phoebe: I just like him so much that I just feel like I've had 10 drinks today and I've only had six.
Monica: Oh, I haven't had that feeling since I first started going out with Chandler. Wow, I'm never gonna have that feeling again am I?
Phoebe: You sound like a guy.
Monica: No, a guy would be saying, "I'm never gonna get to sleep with anyone else."
Monica: Oh my God! I'm never gonna get to sleep with anyone else!
Monica: I've been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that I'd be giving up! I mean, I'm never gonna have a first kiss again.
Phoebe: You'll have a last kiss.
Ross: Can I ask you something? Ever had a guy have a crush on you?
Joey: Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?
Ross: There's this kid in my class who said he's in love with me.
Rachel: Whoa what?
Joey: Ross has a boyfriend.
Ross: I do not have a boyfriend. There's a guy in one of my classes who has a crush on me.
Ross: Yeah! I don't know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now this kid. What is it? ! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe?
Rachel: Not right now.
Ross: The point is my natural charisma has made him fail his midterm.
Rachel: Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! You know you. I couldn't concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me.
Rachel: I mean come on, you remember what's it's like to be 19 and in love.
Ross: Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.
Joey: How'd you get over that teacher?
Rachel: I didn't. I got under him.
Joey: Problem solved.
Jake: Bye Phoebe.
Phoebe: Okay bye.
Jake: All right. Bye.
Phoebe: Bye! We said goodbye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.
Monica: Phoebe, it's okay. You don't have to tip toe around me. I've been thinking about it and you know what? I'm okay about not having that new relationship feeling…
Jake: I miss you already!
Phoebe: I miss you too!
Monica: See? That's what I mean. I mean that, that's great! But I wouldn't trade in what I have for that. I mean I'm gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and that's what makes me happy.
Monica: Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is don't you think?
Chandler: Oh totally! Pull my finger.
Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Returning Male Character is McKensize…
Joey: This is it! This is my category.
Rachel: I know! My God! Do you have your speech? Joey: Yeah, I got my speech!
Rachel: Do you got your gracious loser face?
Rachel: Now Joey remember, if you win you have to hug me! You hug me!
Joey: Okay. Can I squeeze your ass?
Rachel: On TV? ! Yeah!
The Presenter: …in the category of Favorite Returning Male Character the nominees are: John Wheeler from General Hospital, Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless, Dunkin Harrington from Passions, and Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. And the Soapie goes to Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless!
最受欢迎死而复生男演员奖，被提名的有约翰·惠勒 《综合医院》。盖文·格雷厄姆 《年少轻狂》。邓肯·哈灵顿 《热情》。乔伊·崔比安尼 《我们的日子》。得奖的是盖文·格雷厄姆 《年少轻狂》！
Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives.
Joey: Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can.
Joey: The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff.
Joey: From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop, from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley.
《一生一次》 玛丽·劳伦·比索普。《我的孩子们》 莎拉·蕾妮。《我们的日子》 杰西卡·艾什莉。
Joey: And the winner is Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives.
Joey: Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldn't be with us tonight so I'll be accepting this award on her behalf.
Joey: And I'm sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me.
Joey: She'd also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel who's sitting right there!
Rachel: Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast? !
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won!
Rachel: Oh my God! you stole her award!
Joey: No-no! No, I'm accepting it on her behalf.
Rachel: Joey I don't think you know what behalf means.
Joey: Sure I do! It's a verb! As in, "I behalfing it!"
Rachel: You have got to take this back!
Joey: But why? ! I should've won one and I really want it and she didn't even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Rachel: No! Joey!
Joey: Come on Rach! No one saw me take it! There was a whole table full of them.
Rachel: Do you really want an award you didn't win?
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobody's giving me any of those!
Joey: Plus, Hey Rach, if I put it up there right? When people come over they'll see it and they'll think I won it.
Rachel: Joey is says Best Supporting Actress!
Joey: I can scratch that right off.
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay?
Rachel: You don't want to win an award this way. You're very talented.
Rachel: And someday you're gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Joey: All right!
Rachel: All right? Thank you.
Joey: I'll take it back tomorrow.
Rachel: Thank you.
Joey: If I can't have it, you can't have it!
Lewis: Professor Geller?
Ross: Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you?
Lewis: I know I didn't do well on my midterms and stuff but, I was kinda hoping you could change my grade.
Ross: And why exactly would I do that?
Lewis: Because I'm in love with you.
Ross: What? !
Lewis: Yeah, I'm all in love with you and stuff. So could you change my grade?
Lewis: Why not you changed Ned's grade!
Ross: Well that's different! Okay? Because he was actually in love with me!
Lewis: No he's not! He's totally yanking your chain! He's done this with three other teachers!
Lewis: He's got a girlfriend!
Ross: I can't believe someone would do that for a grade.
Lewis: I know! It's awful. I love you.
Monica: Have you seen Chandler?
Phoebe: No. Why?
Monica: Because I just keeping thinking about all these things that I'm not gonna have and it's freaking me out. I don't know what to do about it.
Phoebe: Okay, don't sweat it. Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guy's cute.
Monica: Phoebe! Come on I'm serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Phoebe: No, that is the last thing you want to do!
Phoebe: Because you're marrying him!
Monica: You gotta help me out here Pheebs.
Phoebe: All right, I've never been engaged and I've never really been married, but I can only tell you what my mother told me.
Phoebe: Whenever you have doubts or fears or anxieties about a relationship, do not communicate them to your husband.
Monica: So I'm not supposed to share my doubts and fears with the guy I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with?
Phoebe: That is correct! Yes, you're supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.
Monica: Your mother told you this?
Monica: The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13?
Phoebe: Oh my God! You're right! Go! Go tell Chandler! Hurry before it's too late!
Phoebe: Wait no! Does this also mean putting out doesn't get you love?
Rachel: I cannot believe I'm gonna meet Jessica Ashley!
Joey: Okay wait wait, please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman.
Rachel: Okay, I'm totally cool!
Jessica Ashley: Come in.
Joey: Hey Jessica.
Rachel: Hey Jess.
Joey: Ah, this is my friend Rachel.
Jessica Ashley: Hi.
Rachel: What's up?
Joey: Uh listen, here's your Soapie. I accepted it for ya.
Jessica Ashley: Oh my God! I won! Do you have any idea what this means? !
Joey: Well, that's it? You're gonna, you're gonna put it on your self or anything?
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if you'll excuse me.
Joey: Take it back?
Joey: Yeah, you do!
Monica: Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would like to talk about or share?
Chandler: Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big.
Monica: You're wrong! The centerpieces are fine! Do you ever get scared at all?
Chandler: Kinda. They're really big.
Monica: Doesn't it ever just freak you out that you're never gonna be with anybody new again?
Monica: Just, I love you so much.
Monica: Just…It's just sometimes it bothers me that I'm never gonna have that feeling. You know when you meet someone for the first time and it's new and exciting? You know that rush?
Chandler: No. No, see when I first meet somebody it's mostly panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.
不。不 当我刚刚认识一个人，我会觉得慌张 焦虑，满头大汗。
Monica: Okay, but all right you're a guy, does it not freak you that you're never gonna sleep with anybody else?
Chandler: Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and I'm afraid even more sweating.
Monica: Even with me?
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship.
Chandler: Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that you're having these thoughts, I'm back to panic, anxiety, and I'm definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink.
Monica: Come here! Come here! Sweetie you don't have to worry. No, besides you know what? I'm gonna have a lot of new things with you. The first time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid.
Chandler: Water! Water! Water!
Ross: Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?
Morse: That was a great lecture today. Did you get a little hair cut?
Ross: Yeah Yeah, do you like it? Do you love it? I just want you to know that I'm changing your grade back.
Morse: What? ! Why?
Ross: Because I know what you're trying to pull here. Okay? It's not gonna work.
Morse: I'm not trying to pull anything. Look I love you dude.
Ross: You know what? I'm not even gonna talk about this. Okay?
Ross: This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay! Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned? ! You used me!
Ross: You don't love me and you never did!
Ross: Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, I'll be right with you. Don't make this worse and I'll give you a C.Shall we?
Rachel: I'll be out in a second.
Phoebe: Oh. It's just so unexpected!
Phoebe: I'll tell you it's just such an honor to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and you know to win one for a massage.
Phoebe: Especially after having just won a tony award for best actress in…
Rachel: Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00.
Phoebe: …in Reservations at 8:00 by Neil Simon. Thank you Neil. Thank you for the words.
Rachel: Okay honey, you can finish this later. we're gonna be late. We gotta go.
Phoebe: Please, don't play the music. Just uh one more thing. "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"