Phoebe: Oh hey! How was your audition?-
Joey: I'm sorry, do I know you?
Phoebe: What are you doing?
Joey: Nothing, I'm just practicing blowing you off because I'm gonna be a big movie star!
Phoebe: Oh! You got it? !
Joey: Well, no not yet. But the audition went really good.
Monica: What was it for?
Joey: Oh, it's this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. It's really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Phoebe: The next, next?
Joey: Yeah, there's this guy from Chicago who's supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guy's right after him. Hello!
Estelle: Joey! It's Estelle! I just talked to the casting people, they loved you!
Joey: They loved me!
Estelle: Yeah, they wanna see you again tomorrow.
Joey: Oh my God!
Estelle: There's just one thing. Do you have a problem with full frontal nudity?
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! Oh. Uh, okay uh let me call you back.
Phoebe: What's the matter?
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Joey: I know! My grandmother's gonna see this!
Phoebe: Grandma's gonna have to get in line.
Phoebe: Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous?
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also can't wait ‘til it's over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Ross: A no sex pact huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America.
Monica: Phoebe, will you give me a hand making up the guest bedroom?
Monica: Cousin Cassie's staying with us for a few days.
Ross: Cassie? I haven't seen her for like forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes.
Monica: Ross, she's 25 years old.
Ross: So what! I still have…No you're probably right.
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second?
Monica: Subtle guys!
Phoebe: What? !
Monica: I know you're planning my surprise bridal shower.
Rachel: Well okay. Well don't ruin it! Just play along at least!
Monica: Okay. Sorry.
Rachel: Oh my God! We have to throw her a shower? !
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Joey: I don't know. I mean It's not like it's porn. This is a serious, legitimate movie. Nudity's really important to the story.
Monica: That's what you say about porn.
Joey: You're right. Maybe I shouldn't even go on the call back.
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie. Come on!
Joey: Well that's true. And I am only naked in one scene.
Joey: Plus it sounds really great. My character's catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. It's really sweet and tender.
Monica: Plus, everyone's gonna see your thing.
Phoebe: So when can we have this shower?
Rachel: She has got so much going on we have only two options. We have Friday…
Phoebe: Well that's only two days away. What is the other option?
Phoebe: Well if we make it yesterday, woo-hoo! We're done!
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We can't do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! There's just too much to do! It's impossible! We can't do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Phoebe: Calm down!
Rachel: Okay. I'm sorry. You're right, you're right.
Phoebe: Just calm down woman!
Rachel: Phoebe, I already, I already did.
Phoebe: Oh okay. All right, then I need to calm down a little.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Phoebe: Uh, here. What time?
Rachel: 4 o' clock. Food?
Phoebe: Finger sandwiches and tea.
Rachel: Ooh great! Very Monica.
Phoebe: And chili!
Rachel: Ah you went one too far. Uh, flowers or balloons?
Rachel: We're paying for this you know.
Rachel: Okay. What should we do for the theme?
Phoebe: Lusts of the flesh.
Phoebe: I don't know. A cowboy theme?
Chandler: You know I'm really glad we decided not to sleep together before the wedding.
Monica: Oh boy me too!
Chandler: You know I was thinking if we had a big fight and uh we broke up for a few hours…
Chandler: Technically we could have sex again. What do you think, bossy and domineering!
Monica: The wedding is off, sloppy and immature!
Chandler: That's me! Come on!
Monica: We can't. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, we're supposed to have lunch.
Chandler: Well get rid of her, obsessive and shrill.
Monica: Shrill? ! The wedding is back on!
Cassie: I thought I heard voices. You must be Chandler.
Chandler: Hi! Nice to meet you!
Cassie: Nice to meet you too.
Monica: So, are you ready to go?
Chandler: I'll be right with you.
Monica: Cassie needs to stay at your place.
Ross: What? why?
Monica: Because Purvry Perverson over here can't stop staring at her.
Ross: What? ! Chandler, she's our cousin!
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. It's called being a good conversationalist. Watch. Say something.
Monica: You were staring about eight inches south of there.
Ross: Fine, she can stay at my place. By the way, what does Cassie even look like now?
Monica: She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn.
Chandler: So this Aunt Marilyn is she coming to the wedding?
Monica: Wafer thin ice!
Joey: Hey, I'm back!
The Casting Director: Hi, Joey.
Joey: So, Will I be reading the same scene again?
The Casting Director: Actually, I tried to call to you. You didn't need to come down here today.
Joey: Oh great! You know I would've been perfect for this part, but whatever! You know, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day!
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didn't need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasn't that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you were saying?
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks you're really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
Joey: Wow! Sure! That's great!
The Casting Director: Oh and your agent said you were okay with the nudity.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as it's handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, there's one more thing.
The Casting Director: Uhh, it's really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic.
The Casting Director: Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how she's never seen a naked man who wasn't Jewish. So…
Joey: So What?
The Casting Director: So well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what I'm saying?
The Casting Director: Okay.
Joey: No. What?
The Casting Director: An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be…
Monica: So to get this part you can't be?
Monica: But you are?
Monica: But you told them you weren't?
Joey: That's right.
Monica: Wow! Wow! And it's definitely all gone? There's nothing there to work with?
Monica: What were you thinking?
Joey: I don't know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if they want you to ride a horse, you tell them you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Joey: I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.
Monica: Oh my God, what are you gonna do? !
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I can't do the part.
Joey: Unless what?
Monica: Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion.
Joey: Like what?
Monica: Well, I'm not sure yet, but Off the top of my head, I'm thinking double-sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Phoebe: Hey! I've got a great idea for party favors for the shower. Okay, we get some mahogany boxes and carve everyone's names in them and inside is everyone's individual birth stone.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still don't have a guest list.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know that's coming? Me. Are you?
Rachel: Hey! What's up Mon?
Monica: Well, I'm trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Rachel: Have at it.
Monica: All right, turkey. That won't work. Cheese? That won't work. Olive loaf? I hope that won't work.
Rachel: Are you making him a sandwich?
Monica: No it's more like a wrap. Okay so I'm gonna go guys.
Phoebe and Rachel: Okay.
Monica: So you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present!
Rachel: We have to get her a present? !
Phoebe: Okay but look! Look at what I got! It's her address book! We have a guest list!
Rachel: Oh my God you're amazing! Did you just pull that out of her purse?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, and a little seed money for the party.
Ross: Cassie? !
Cassie: Hey Ross!
Cassie: It's been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Ross: Oh. Oh, that's right. So you did see me that day because it seemed like you didn't.
Cassie: Ah yeah, sorry about that.
Ross: It's okay. Come, come on in.
Cassie: Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monica's place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot.
Cassie: Oh my God! You do a great Chandler!
Ross: Uh-huh. Yeah I have a knack for impressions.
Cassie: Well, maybe after we get reacquainted, you can do me.
Ross: Yeah. No!
Ross: Cassie, how you doing on that hot dog?
Cassie: I'm all done.
Ross: Thank God.
Cassie: I guess the last time we really hung out was when our parents rented that beach house together.
Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I pinned you down and tickled you until you cried? We're probably too old to do that now.
Cassie: I'll always remember that summer. Because it's when I got all these freckles.
Ross: And I'll always remember that summer because that's when I realized that we are related.
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
Ross: Well I'm, I'm a little slow. Just as our children would be.
Phoebe: How are you? Good. Hi, thanks for coming.
Woman: Oh thank you.
Phoebe: No? All right. Oh, it's so nice to see you.
The Other Woman: No thanks.
Phoebe: Okay. Hey Rach?
Phoebe: Who the hell are all these people?
Rachel: Well, I don't know. I called all the people in Monica's phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Phoebe: You know there's another word for people like that. Losers!
Rachel: Hi! I'm Rachel. This is Phoebe. I'm the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Woman: I was her accountant four years ago.
Woman: I'm very interested to find out who's been doing her taxes these last four years.
Rachel: That's great!
Woman: So, what time is Monica supposed to get here?
Phoebe and Rachel: I don't know.
Rachel: Excuse us for a minute. You didn't tell her to come? !
Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her!
Rachel: No I wasn't! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
Phoebe: Fine, I'll go call her.
Rachel: Yes! And please tell her to bring a cake!
Monica: Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on.
Joey: Wow! This looks great!
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. This one is made of bologna.
Joey: And the toothpicks?
Monica: Oh, just until the glue dries.
Joey: Thank God!
Monica: Now, these are more realistic, but perishable. Okay? Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But if it gets wet then you know it's gonna shrink.
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away.
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But that's really just for me. Okay. So, why don't you go into your room and try these on and we'll see get a better idea of what's gonna work.
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Monica: What are you trying on now?
Joey: The fruit roll up.
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner!
Monica: What? ! Which one? !
Joey: The Silly Putty! It's not so silly anymore!
Ross: She's your cousin. She's your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head she'd think you were sick!
Ross: Or would she? Let's back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logan's Run, the sexiest movie ever.
Ross: Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. I'm going in.
Cassie: What the hell are you doing? !
Ross: Say something clever!
Ross: Okay, doesn't have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words.
Ross: Any words will do. Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever!
Ross: There is nothing you can say to make this worse! ! So just say something!
Ross: I haven't had sex in a very long time.
Ross: Yeah, you really shouldn't have said anything.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! It's Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice!
Rachel: Oh Monica, we are so sorry.
Monica: For what?
Rachel: Well first, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower.
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Monica: You already had it?
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they had to leave.
Rachel: Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you don't have either.
Phoebe: We ruined everything.
Monica: Well no wait a minute that's not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Rachel: What do you mean?
Monica: Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents without having to talk to people I don't even like!
Rachel and Phoebe: Surprise.
Joey: And what's cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
Joey: My whole family's from Naples!
The Director: That's great! Okay, well I've heard everything I need to hear. I just need to, Leslie…
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. I totally understand. You need to you know make sure I don't have any horrible scars or tattoos. Don't you worry. I have nothing to hide. So there you go, that's me. One hundred percent natural!
Joey: I tell you, that has never happened before.
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
Cassie: Yeah. Thank you so much for letting me stay here.
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I…
Phoebe: Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! She's not your cousin!
|警探奈特3：独立（2023） Detective Knight: Independence|
|鬼玩人崛起（2023） Evil Dead Rise|
|盟约（2023） The Covenant|
|母亲本色（2023） The Mother|
|龙与地下城：侠盗荣耀（2023） Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves|
|疾速追杀4（2023） John Wick: Chapter 4|
|超级马力欧兄弟大电影（2023） The Super Mario Bros. Movie|
|彼得·潘与温蒂（2023） Peter Pan & Wendy|