Hey, babe. Aren't you excited we're going on our honeymoon?
Yeah, I am.
Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama.
That's right, get it out of your system while we're alone.
Hey. We came to say goodbye.
Yeah. Have a great honeymoon.
Thanks. I better go pack.
Oh no, I already packed. The only thing I couldn't find, though, was your Speedo.
A Speedo? I don't have a Speedo. I'm gonna go pack my regular, long bathing suit.
Good, you're still here! Hey!
I wanted to tell you to have a good honeymoon. Thank you!
And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today.
What? What? What?
We know it's Ross.
How? How do you know?
It was his sweater. But, oh, my God!
Oh, I so wanted Ross to know first, but I’m so relieved you guys know.
That is so great. And I'm gonna be your baby's aunt!
I know. Me too!
And I'm gonna be an uncle! Come here.
You're all gonna be aunts and uncles.
Yeah, but I'm the only one related by blood.
Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how I’m gonna tell Ross!
Well, what were you gonna say?
Well I was gonna tell him that I’mI’m gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
Well that, that sounds good.
Yeah, but, you know, how do I start? I mean, what'swhat’s the first thing that I say?
Okay, great. Thanks.
Hey, good luck. Yeah, bye.
Hey, what was that all about?
Well, I guess there's no harm in telling you now. Rachel and Ross are going to have a baby.
What? ! I didn't even know that...!Why didn't you tell me? Why am I talking like this?
I didn't think you could keep it a secret.
What? ! I am an excellent secretkeeper. I have kept all our secrets.
Oh nono Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
You'll tell me later? You already know.
Oh, it's so romantic to send people off on their honeymoon.
You know, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
All in good time, my love. All in good time.
Shoot! I left my guitar in their apartment. Well, you can let me in later, right?
No, I don't have a key. They took mine to give to you.
What? They took mine to give to you.
Why would they take away our keys?
Maybe they don't trust us.
No that’s not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.
You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monica's guest towels?
Hey, I washed those. No, you didn't.
Yeah, that didn't sound like me.
Well, what am I gonna do? I really need my guitar.
Yeah, I have stuff in there too. What stuff?
Monica's chicken parm. I'll take care of it.
Hey, Mr. Treeger? It's Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandler's apartment.
It's an emergency! Gas leak. Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread.
Did Rachel find you? No, why?
She was looking for you.
Oh well, I guess I’ll catch up with her later.
Well, she really wanted to talk to you now.
Yeah, it seemed pretty important.
Oh, no. What?
I think I might know what this is about.
Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we weren't gonna tell anybody this, but...About a month ago, Rachel and I slept together.
Wow, I thought you'd be a little more shocked.
Oh, sorry. And? !
Well, wewe said we’d just do it that one time but, but now I think she may wanna start things up again.
Yeah, I don't think that's what it is.
Why? Whatwhat else could it be?
Oh, wow, I don't feel well.
I'm telling you, I'm telling you, that's what it is.
No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding.
She didn't say anything to you?
Maybe it's something you ate.
Please, justjust, just go and talk to Rachel. Yeah, I guess I should.
Man, you know what I have to realize? Maybe I'm not the type of guy women can have just one night with.
You know, theythey always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that.
They're kissing. Let's just go around them.
Oh honey, leave them alone. They're in love.
I'm in love too. But in an orderly fashion.
Hi. Can you do that and walk? Because she said, "Next."
Sorry, we didn't hear you. We're on our honeymoon.
Oh, let me see what I can do. There are some firstclass seats available.
Did you hear that? They bumped them up to first class because they're on their honeymoon! Come on. Let's act like we're on our honeymoon.
We are on our honeymoon.
Grab my ass.
Hi. Sorry, I almost didn't hear you, because, you know, I'm just so in love with my new husband. We're on our honeymoon.
Okay, Mr. Bing, you'll be in 25J, and Mrs. Bing, you're in 25K.
Oh no, you see we’re on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?
I'm sorry, all the firstclass seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
You see? If we'd gone around them like I said, she'd have given us those tickets! Damn it!
25J and K, any chance those aren't together?
I still can't believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours.
Of course I do! And I'm gonna get it back to you just as soon as they're done with it at the keyshining place.
What the hell is that?
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Treeger, what are you doing?
You said there was a gas leak in here.
Why not use your key?
Because by the time I found it on this thing, the whole place might have exploded.
If that happens at another building I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. Come on, hurry up!
Oh! We could have done that.
Look at that! Look at that! They’re going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there? No.
Me neither. We have to get in!
Just act like you belong. Oh, my God! Oranges! Shh!
Nice to see you again.
Sir, may I see your tickets, please?
Yes, of course.
I'm sorry. Would you move your thumb? I can't see the seat number.
Oh that’s all right. I have it memorized. It's 1 A.
Sir, this isn't a firstclass ticket. I'm sorry.
Apology accepted. Excuse us.
Sir, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Fine. Go, go, go!
Hi. Umm, I think there's something that we really need to talk about.
I think we do. Why don't we go inside. Look, I know why you're here.
You do? Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment I think maybe I should talk first.
Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. That's been one heck of a seesaw, hasn't it?
I mean look, thatthat one night we had was fun and…and certainly passionate, but don’t you think it’s better if we just stayed friends?
Okay, okay. You know what? If you want to, we can do it one more time.
I mean I’dI’d be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now.
You know what? Can I, can I talk now?
Oh, sure. Okay.
Okay, whenever you're ready.
And you're the father, by the way. But you got that...
Can I get you some water? I'm good. I'm good.
Ross, there is no pressure on you, okay? I mean, you can be as involved as you want.
Yeah, I need uh… I’m just—I don’t know—I don’t understand, umm, how this happened?
Wewe used a condom. I know.
I know. But you know, condoms only work, like, 97 percent of the time.
What? What? What? !! Well, they should put that on the box!
They do. No, they don't!
Well, they should put it in huge block letters!
Okay Ross come on let’s just forget about the condoms.
Oh well I may as well have!
Listen, you know what? I was really freaked out too when I found out. Freaked out? Hey no, I’m not freaked out!
I'm indignant, as a consumer!
You know what? Let's, let’s talk later.
No! No! I want to talk now! Okay? I—In fact, I am going to talk to the president of the condom company!
Okay, y’ know maybe I should come back… Shh! Shh! Shh! Okay.
Yeah, I'll press one!
I’ve looked everywhere. There's no gas leak.
So then I can heat this up?
Anyway, I'll get moving on that new door.
Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this?
Because, you know, they don’tthey don’t have any kids of their own andand this door was like a child to them.
Well, I'm gonna have to put on a new lock. They'll find out anyway.
Whoa! This looks like an all day job, I’ll have to cancel my yoga class.
Hey, Ross. Could you tell Jasmine I can't make it to yoga class today? Sure.
Oh, my God! What happened to the door?
So it's noticeable, huh?
Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Didn't you two already talk?
Yeah but uh… Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but there’s something else. Rachel’s pregnant.
Holy mother of God! Oh, my God, I can't believe that!
With my child. That is brandnew information!
You already know, don't you? A little bit.
How you doing? Okay. Okay. I mean, I'll be okay.
It's just, I don't think I handled it very well.
Well, what did you say to her? Nothing.
But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful.
Then when I turned around, she was gone. Oh, Ross.
But hey, in my defense II just found out condoms are like only 97% effective.
What? I gotta go find her.
Whoa! Hey! Whoa! ! Hold up! Are you serious? ! So like 3% of the time they don’t even work? ! Huh? They should put that on the box!
Evidently, they do. What? !
I can't believe we're here.
You've gotta be kidding. What?
As a wedding gift to you, the hotel would like to give you the honeymoon suite.
No! You have been screwing us all day!
Who are you?
We're you. Just 10 seconds later!
Yeah! You already got the first class tickets; you got the lounge! I mean we should get free stuff too! I mean you’re not the only ones on your honeymoon!
Well you can have the suite if you want. We don't care about where we stay.
We're here to celebrate our love for each other. We don't have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
We need the stuff.
Hey Monica it’s Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas coming from your apartment.
What? Are you serious? Joey smells gas.
What else is new?
Yeah and we’d go check it out, but you took away our keys.
Well, do something. Get in there!
How? I guess I could break down your door. Yeah, do that.
Andand you won’t blame us for any damage? No.
Are you doing it? I don't hear anything. Come on.
Uh, okay I’llI’llI’ll break it down.
Oh hey hi, he’s doing it. He’s breaking down the door. Okay, we’re in.
Okay, Rachel, are you comfortable?
If I said I was, would you judge me?
The doctor'll be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Okay. Oh, man, I swear, if they sold these at Pottery Barn...
Uh wewe need to talk.
Uhuhuh, right now? Because I’ve kinda got an el fresco situation going on over here.
Please, please I really I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today.
Okay Ross that’s fine, but can you please stand near my head?
What? Oh, yeah, I’m sorry.
I mean II think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I really—I should have been thinking about you Rach…
Okay, head, Ross! Head, Ross! Head Ross!
Right! Right! I just—I want you to know that I’m going to be there through this whole thing, okay?
Okay? The doctor’s appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh babyproofing the apartment. Although we could probably worry about that ‘til after we get married.
What married? Well, yeah, I think we should get married.
What, because that’s your answer to everything?
No, because that’s the right thing to do.
Yeah, maybe, if you're in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
No but…but still you can’t possibly do this alone.
Come on, Rach. I mean you can't even eat alone in a restaurant.
What? I'm just saying if you can't eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
I can too eat by myself!
When have you ever?
When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Well, certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup!
Oh, please. You inale your food.
I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!
Am I interrupting?
Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father.
But not the husband, because, evidently, she can do this alone.
Nice to meet you. I'll get started on this.
I don't know why you can't admit that you need me?
I do need you. I need you to stay near my head!
Okay. Everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. Here's your uterus and right here is your baby.
Oh, my God.
Wow. There it is, I see it.
Congratulations. I'll give you two a minute.
Okay. Thank you.
Pretty amazing, huh?
I don't see it!
What? What? ! I can't see it.
Youyou just said that you did!
I know. I lied. I didn't want her to think I was a terrible mother. I can't even see my own baby!
Oh sure, come here! Sure you can! Uh, look come here look, it’sit’sit’s, it’s right there
Oh, it's beautiful. I see it now.
Do you really? No, I don't see it!
Come on! Come on! Here, okayokay. You see this? This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
Sweetie, that's it.
That's it? Well, I saw that.
Thank you. You're welcome.
Wow, I can't believe that's our baby.
Yeah, that's our baby.
So how was the doctor?
Everything went great.
Good. Hey, show them the picture of your uterus.
I don't see the baby. Where is it?
Oh, no, I know. I couldn't see it either at first. But it's right...Ross, I lost it again. Oh.