Hey. Hey.
嗨。 嗨。
Oh, my God, you cleaned!
天啊，你打扫过了！
Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works!
瞧这地板！你还擦了窗户！我跟你提了好几个月，你真的打扫了。看来唠叨还是有用的！
Y' know uh, I didn't actually do this.
不，事实上这不是我♥干的。
Oh, no. Was I cleaning in my sleep again?
不是吧。我又梦游打扫了吗？
No, it wasn't you.
不，也不是你。
Well, then, who? I got a maid. Yay!
那么是谁？ 我请了一个女佣，耶！
I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning then…
我希望你所说的"女佣"是指"情妇"，因为如果有其他女人在打扫咱家房子的话……
Uh honey, I know you don't like to relinquish control…
亲爱的，我知道你不喜欢让出控制权……
"Relinquish" is just a fancy word for "lose."
"让出"就是"失去"的委婉说法吧。
Look, she's really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.
她人真的很棒，不是吗？她还说她喜欢你摆放海绵的方式。
Did she really say that?
她真的那么说了吗？
Yes, I distinctly remember because I thought it was a joke. Now, just give her a chance, okay?
对，我记得很清楚，因为我以为她在开玩笑。所以，给她一个机会，好吗？
Fine, I can do it.
好吧，我办得到。
What's the matter?
怎么了？
Usually when I'm this anxious, I clean.
通常我一焦虑就会打扫。
Whose cell phone is that? It's just so annoying. Everywhere you go.
是谁的手机在响？吵死了。走到哪里都会发生这种事。
I think it's coming from your bag.
我想声音是从你的包包里传出来的。
I never get calls! Hello?
从来没有人会打电话给我！喂？
Hi, it's Eric, from the Halloween party. Ursula's fiance.
嗨，我是万圣节派对上的艾力克。厄休拉的未婚夫。
Oh, my God, Eric, hi! Wait, how'd you get this number?
天啊，艾力克，嗨。等一下，你怎么知道我的电话号码？
I have a friend who's a cop, and he got it for me.
我有个警察朋友，他帮我查到的。
Wow. What an incredible violation and wonderful surprise!
这严重侵犯了我的权利，但却让人又惊又喜。
Listen, I just...I thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
我想告诉你，我跟厄休拉分手了。
Oh, you did? He did it, he did it!
是吗？他办到了！他办到了！
Wow! What did he do? Shhh! I'm talking!
他做了什么？ 嘘，我在讲电话！
Anyway, I was wondering if you were the sort of person who eats lunch?
总之，我很好奇你平时吃不吃午餐？
Are you asking me out? Because it'd be kind of weird since you just broke up with my sister.
你是在约我吗？因为那样会很奇怪，你刚刚才跟我姐姐分手。
Yeah uh…okay. I'm I'm sorry. Bye. No, no. Wait!
好吧，抱歉。再见。 不，等一下！
I was just saying that so you'd think I was a good person. Fight for me.
我那么说是希望你觉得我是个好人。努力争取我吧。
I won't take "no" for an answer.
我不会轻易接受你的拒绝。
Not great, but we can work on it at lunch. Okay, I can be at your apartment in two hours.
虽然表现不太好，但我们可以边吃午餐边练习。我可以在两小时内赶到你家。
Great. But wh wh-How do you know where I live?
太棒了！你怎么知道我住在哪里？
I've got friends too.
我也有朋友。
Okay, bye. Bye.
好吧，再见。 再见。
Oh, my God, I'm going out with Eric!
天啊，我要跟艾力克约会了！
Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I can't make lunch.
今天比我想像中还要美好。罗斯，我没办法跟你吃午餐了。
So apparently I'm available for lunch.
很明显我午餐时间有空。
I can't. I'm busy. I'm apartment hunting.
不行，我很忙，我在找房子。
You're moving?
你要搬家？
Yeah, I can't live with Joey once the baby comes. I don't want my child's first words to be, "How you doing?"
孩子生下来后我不可能跟乔伊一起住。我不希望我的孩子会说的第一句话是"你好吗？"
So does does Joey know you're moving?
乔伊知道你要搬家吗？
Well, I haven't discussed it with him yet, but I know he's gonna be relieved.
我还没有跟他谈，但我知道他会觉得如释重负。
Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
上星期他带了一个女孩回家，而我跟她谈晨吐的问题。还把我怀孕纪念册的照片拿给她看。
That's not really porn? Not so much.
内容不会很色情吧？ 不太会。
Hey you know what? And if you're looking for a place. I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
知道吗，既然你在找房子。今早我在电梯里听说我住的公寓里有个女住户过世了。
Oh, my God. Was she old? Does she have a view?
天啊，她年纪很老了吗？她的公寓景观好吗？
Well I don't know, but how how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. With your permission.
我不知道，但那样一定会很棒。你搬到我的公寓里来。我可以照顾宝宝，想过去就过去，当然得先得到你的允许。
Yeah that would really be great. Well, can we see it?
那就太好了，我们能去看看吗？
Oh maybe we shouldn't. I mean if she just died this morning out of respect.
或许我们不该那么做。毕竟她今天早上才过世。
Yeah. No. No, you're right.
对，你说得对。
Shall we? Yeah.
我们去吧？ 好啊。
Yes?
有什么事吗？
Hi. I'm Ross Geller. I live in the building.
嗨，我是罗斯·盖勒，住在这栋公寓里。
And I'm Rachel, an admirer of the building.
我是瑞秋，我很喜欢这栋公寓。
I I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and I'm so sorry for your loss.
听说佛哈芬太太过世了，我真的很遗憾。
She didn't pass. What?
她没有过世。 什么？
My mother's still alive.
我妈妈还活着。
Oh, thank God!
谢天谢地！
It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but she's a tough old bird.
她今天早上差点就过世了，但她是个意志力很强的老太婆。
Are you close with her?
你跟她很熟吗？
Of course. Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in in the laundry room.
当然。我们常常在洗衣间聊天。
You speak Dutch? I'm very honored to meet a friend of my mother.
你会说荷兰语？很荣幸见到我母亲的朋友。
You know, I would, but it's just too painful.
我会说，但说起来只会让我伤心。
So she's really not dead.
所以，她真的没死。
No. She's hanging in there.
对，她还在坚持。
Hmm. Do you think-Could you tell me, is she hanging in in a one bedroom or a two?
你能告诉我她是在一房还是两房里坚持吗？
Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible. Where did you get it?
宾太太，这个清洁剂太棒了。你在哪里买的？
Oh well umm, I make it myself! It's two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is…y' know what? We just met.
那是我自制的。两份氨水加一份柠檬汁。秘方是……你知道吗，我们才刚刚认识。
Okay. Uhh, I'm gonna go get the clothes from the laundry room now. And, when I come back I'll clean behind the refrigerator.
好吧，我去洗衣间拿衣服。我回来后会打扫冰箱后面。
I love her.
我爱她。
I'll be back in a minute.
我马上回来。
Okay.
好吧。
See? I told you.
看吧，我告诉过你。
She stole my jeans!
她偷了我的牛仔裤！
What?
什么？
I've been looking for them all week, and she is wearing them.
我找了一个星期，她正穿在身上。
So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
所以她偷了你的裤子然后当着你的面穿在身上？
Don't you see? It's the perfect crime!
你不明白吗？这是完美犯罪！
She must have been planning this for years!
她一定计划了好几年！
I'll prove it to you, okay. About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap, and it left an ink stain on the crotch.
我会证明给你看。几周前，我穿着那条牛仔裤我把钢笔掉在大腿上，在裆部留下了墨水印子。
Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
她回来后我就让你看看那个墨水印子！
Honey, isn't it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?
亲爱的，卖那条牛仔裤的公司难道只做了一条牛仔裤吗？
I guess. So should't we give her the benefit of the doubt before we go snooping around her crotch?
说得有道理。 所以我们应该先找找看，再去看她的裆部吧？
Fine. I'm just glad I didn't give her my secret ingredient.
好吧，幸好我没告诉她我的秘方。
Out of curiosity, what is your secret ingredient?
我真的很好奇你的秘方是什么？
Yeah.
你想得美。
Come in. I'm so glad you're here.
请进。我很高兴你能过来。
Yeah. Me too. Not in the shaky, angry way that you are, though.
对 我也是。但不像你那么震惊愤怒。
Sorry. I just saw Ursula. I had to get the engagement ring back.
抱歉，我刚刚见过厄休拉。我得把订婚戒指拿回来。
Just seeing her brought it all back. All the lies, the way she used me. I just...I get so angry, just looking at her...Face.
看到她，让我想起了一切。那些谎言，还有她是怎么利用我的。我只是……光是看到她，我就觉得好生气……我是说看到她的脸。
Yeah. Yeah.
对。
I'm sorry. It's just, when I look at you I see her. And when I see her, I get a little bit angry.
抱歉，我看到你的时候我就像是看到了她。我看到她时就会觉得很生气。
Maybe this is too weird. No wait!
这样太奇怪了。 等一下。
There's only a problem when I look at you. I got it. I got it.
只有我看着你的时候才会觉得生气。我知道了该怎么办了。
No, don't tear out your eyes!
不，别把你的眼睛挖出来！
I was just, I was just gonna take out my lenses.
我只是要把隐形眼镜摘掉。
Oh, yeah. Try that. So is that better?
好吧，试试看。那样子好多了吗？
Not really.
才怪。
You…you're blurry, but you still look like Ursula. You're Blursula.
你看起来很模糊，还是很像厄休拉。你是"模糊的厄休拉"。
Okay wait. Maybe…If I if I just don't look at you for a while.
好吧，等一下，也许我暂时不看你。
See? It…it works. I'm not, I'm not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
看吧，很有效果。我一点都不生气了。这次约会很成功！
Look, Eric, turn around.
听着，艾力克，转过来。
Look, I like you, but it shouldn't be this hard. Y' know? This is our first date.
我喜欢你，但不应该这么纠结。这是我们第一次约会。
You know, first dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and "He just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand"
第一次约会应该是兴奋刺♥激、火花四射。"他刚刚摸了我的手，他是有意的吗？"
And you know first kisses...Second kisses.
还有初吻，第二次接吻。
Thanks for the coffee, or, bedankt voor de koffie, Gunter.
谢谢你的咖啡，或者说，谢谢你的咖啡，甘瑟。
You speak Dutch? That's cool. Do you have relatives there?
你会说荷兰话吗？真厉害。你有亲戚在荷兰吗？
Yeah, we're done.
我们聊完了。
Ezel.
混♥蛋。
Ezel? Ezel? Ezel?
混♥蛋？混♥蛋？混♥蛋？
Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
罗斯。你要去人工造浪池看新的立体巨幕电影吗？
Really? No.
真的吗？ 才没有。
But I got Knicks tickets for you, me and Chandler.
但我帮你，我跟钱德勒弄到了尼克队的门票。
Sweet!
太棒了！
All right, well finish your coffee, let's go.
等你喝完咖啡，咱们就出发。
Okay I I just have to stop by my place first.
我得先回家一趟。
To tape the game? You do this every time, Ross. You're not gonna be on TV!
你要录球赛吗？你每次都要录。你是不会上电视的！
No no, I I have to see if this apartment became available.
不，我得去看看那间公寓是不是空出来了。
You're switching apartments?
你要换公寓吗？
It's not for me, it's for Rachel.
不是我，是瑞秋要搬家。
Rachel has an apartment.
她已经有公寓了。
Yeah, but when the baby comes, she's gonna wanna move.
宝宝一出生，她就要搬家。
She is? Yeah.
真的吗？ 对。
You didn't expect her to live there with the baby, did you?
你该不会希望她跟宝宝住在你那里吧？
I guess I didn't really think about it.
我没仔细想过。
Ezel. Hey, Gunther, you're an ezel.
混♥蛋。甘瑟，你才是个混♥蛋。
You have sex with donkeys.
你和混♥蛋♥性♥交了。
Damn it!
该死！
Nice jeans. Oh, thanks.
你的牛仔裤很漂亮。 谢谢。
I like your top. Oh. You're not getting it.
我喜欢你的上衣。 你别想得手。
What happened? Oh. I fell asleep!
发生了什么事？ 我睡着了！
I was thinking about taking my lunch break.
我想要午休一下。
Will you do the top of the cabinets? That'll work up your appetite for lunch.
你能擦一下橱柜上面吗？那会让你午餐时食欲大增。
All right.
好吧。
Hello.
你好啊。
What's going on?
发生了什么事？
I'm sorry. I've never had a maid before. Is this not okay?
抱歉，我以前没请过女佣。这样做不合适吗？
Hey! Hey!
嗨。 嗨。
How was the game?
球赛怎么样？
Oh, okay. I…I ate way too much.
还不错，我吃太多了。
So umm, I was talking to Ross, and he said you were looking for a new place.
我跟罗斯谈过，他说你在找新公寓。
Oh yeah! Hopefully across the street if certain Dutch people would just let go.
对，我希望能搬到对街去。如果那些荷兰人愿意让出公寓。
I was kind of hoping you'd stay.
我希望你留下来。
Oh but Joey, I have to go. There's no room for a baby here.
乔伊，我得搬走。这里容不下一个宝宝。
No room? It's a baby. It's, like, this big.
容不下？宝宝也就这么大吧。
You know, I mean you you could you could put it over here. Or or or we could put it right here. Aw, it's cute, right?
我是说，你可以把他放在这里。或是这里，很可爱吧？
Or or we could put it over here. You wouldn't even notice it. "Where's the baby?" "Oh, it's right over..."
或是这里，你根本就不会注意到他。"宝宝在哪里？" "他就在……"
Honey, it's not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything.
亲爱的，问题不仅在于要把他放在哪里。宝宝会让你的生活翻天覆地。
They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when there's a screaming baby around.
他们总是哭个不停。想象下你带女孩回家想跟她上床时，宝宝却哭个不停。
I could use a challenge. It's getting pretty easy.
我可以接受这个挑战，算不上什么难事。
Honey, it's so sweet that you want me to stay, but I I can't do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.
你要我留下来，真的很贴心。但我不能那么对你。那样会毁了你的生活。
It's just...I love living with you so much. I just wish things didn't have to change.
我只是……很喜欢跟你一起住。我希望一切都不必改变。
I know.
我知道。
You know, I blame Ross for this.
这件事全怪罗斯。
I do too, a little bit.
我也有点怪他。
I'm gonna miss you. You're the hottest roommate I ever had.
我会想念你的。你是我遇过最辣的室友。
Oh, no, I have to go. I have a massage appointment.
不行，我得走了。有人预约我去按♥摩。
Oh no, stay here. We'll keep doing this. I'll pay you.
别，留下来，我们继续吧。我可以付钱给你。
No, I've gotten in trouble for that before. I'll see you later.
不行，之前我因为这个惹上了大♥麻烦。待会见。
Absolutely.
没问题。
I love the way you kiss.
我喜欢你的吻技。
Really? That's the thing I'm worst at! You'll see.
真的吗？那是我最逊的方面！你等着瞧吧。
Hey. I think Brenda needs a raise.
我觉得布兰达需要加薪。
How come?
为什么？
Because I put my head between her legs.
因为我把头放在她的双腿之间。
To see her pants? They're my pants!
为了看她的裤子吗？ 那是我的裤子！
Are you sure? Did you see the stain?
你确定吗？你看到墨水印子了吗？
No. I was getting into position, and then everything went dark.
没有，我才刚刚就位，就眼前一片漆黑。
God! She is not stealing from us, okay? Will you let this go?
她没有偷我们的东西，你能不能算了？
Fine. She's wearing my bra! Oh, dear God!
好吧。她穿着我的胸罩。 天啊！
My pink, flowered bra! I recognize the strap!
我的粉红色小花胸罩！我认得那条肩带！
And yet you don't recognize that you're crazy.
那你没意识到自己疯了吗？
Here's the plan! Okay? I'm going to leave, and you get a look at Brenda's bra!
我有个计划。我先离开，你去看布兰达的胸罩。
Here's another plan…No!
我也有个计划。不要。
I would do it, but she thinks I'm attracted to her.
本可以由我来做，但她以为我喜欢她。
Why?
为什么？
Did you not hear where my head was?
你不知道刚刚我的头插到哪里了吗？
Come on, come on. We're a team. We're in this together.
我们是一帮的，在这件事上应该同进退。
I fear a jury will see it the same way.
我担心陪审团也会那么认为。
Do this for me. Come on, I catch you looking at woman's breasts all the time!
就算是为了我。我常抓到你在瞄女人胸部。
You see that?
你看到了吗？
Do you see this?
这样难道你看不到吗？
All right, yes. Okay. I get your point. But if it's not your bra, will you just let the woman clean the apartment? Yes. Absolutely. Okay?
好吧，我了解你的意思。但如果那不是你的胸罩，你能让她接着安心打扫吗？ 当然，没问题。
Look, you'll know it's mine because on the right cup, the lacey part, there's a very noticeable rip.
是不是我的你能分辨出来，因为在右罩杯上蕾丝的部分，有明显的开线。
You need new clothes.
你需要买新衣服了。
Hi. How is she?
她还好吗？
It's not looking good.
情况看起来不妙。
Well, I brought her some bloemen.
我带了一些花过来给她。
That's so sweet. Would you like to come in and say goodbye? I'm sure it would mean a lot to her.
你太体贴了。你要跟她送别吗？那对她来说一定意义重大。
Oh, I don't know that it would.
这我还真没想到。
Well, her memory is pretty much gone. All right, then.
她几乎不记得任何人了。 那么好吧。
Welcome back.
欢迎你回来。
Shall we pick up from where we left off?
我们要继续吗？
I don't know. I'm still pretty tired out from this afternoon.
今天下午过后，我还没缓过劲来。
Why? The sex.
为什么？ 我们做♥爱了。
What sex? Our sex.
什么？ 你跟我做♥爱了。
We didn't have sex.
我们没做♥爱啊。
Well if I didn't have sex with you, I had sex with somebody that looked an awful lot like...
如果我没跟你做♥爱，我一定是跟一个长得跟你很像……
Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no, no.
哦？哦？ 不会吧。不会吧。
You you…you had sex with Ursula? ! A little bit.
你跟厄休拉做♥爱了？ 做了一点。
She she she walked in and I thought she was you and I kissed her and…
她走进来，我以为她是你，我吻了她……
You didn't notice she was wearing different clothes? !
你没注意到衣服不一样吗？
Well I was just so excited to see you.
我看到你太兴奋了。
You know what? This is too weird.
这真的是太奇怪了。
No no it's not! I don't want to lose you! It's it's like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was you-Yeah it is too weird.
不会的。我不想失去你。在做♥爱的时候我以为厄休拉是你，我对她说……对，那太奇怪了。
So I guess this is it.
那就到此为止吧。
Yeah. Maybe it's for the best.
好。或许这是最好的办法。
You smell just like her. Yeah, so do you.
你的味道跟她一样。 对，你也是。
What are you doing?
你在做什么？
I'm leaning. This is where I lean.
我在屈伸。我都在这里做屈伸运动。
Okay.
好吧。
Brenda, a bee! What?
布兰达，有蜜蜂！ 什么？
Yes! It's flown into your blouse, and you better undo your buttons lest it sting you.
它飞进你上衣里了。你最好快解开扣子，免得被叮伤。
I think I know what's going on here. You do?
我想我知道这是怎么一回事了。 是吗？
Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian but it's wrong. You're married.
你太太是女同志，我知道你一定很难受。但这是不对的，你结婚了。
I totally understand. Can I just see your bra?
我完全了解。我能看看你的胸罩吗？
Where'd you get those jeans? You gave them to me.
你怎么会有那条牛仔裤？ 是你送我的。
No, I didn't! All right, I took them.
我才没有！ 好吧，是我自己拿的。
But I figured it'd be okay because you've got a big ink stain on the crotch.
我以为你不会介意，因为在裆部的地方有一大块墨水印子。
Oh, no! Did you take my bra too?
哦不！你也拿走了我的胸罩吗？
What bra?
什么胸罩？
The pink one with the flowers.
有小花的粉红色胸罩。
You mean the one that you're wearing?
你是说你正穿的这件胸罩吗？
I quit!
我不干了！
Sounds about right.
可以理解。
What is this?
这是什么？
Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea.
我只是做一下大致构想。
Okay well, we can put screens here, so that the baby has privacy, and and and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uh-Oh look! Here's a baby monitor, which until the baby comes we can use as walkie talkies. Huh?
我们可以在这里装拉帘，给宝宝留有隐私。在摇篮上面装个音乐铃，这是宝宝监控器，宝宝没出生前，我们可以把它当对讲机。
You're so sweet! Oh, my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy!
你真的是太体贴了！天啊！你帮宝宝买了企鹅宝宝！
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh…. That that that's really just to show where the baby would go. Y' know why don't I hold on to him so that there's no confusion?
我只是要向你示范宝宝该躺在哪里。快把它交给我吧，免得你误会了。
But Joey the baby is going to be crying, it's going to be loud. I'm loud.
乔伊，宝宝会哭的，那会非常地吵。 我本身就很吵！
It's gonna be up all night. I'm up all night.
他会整晚不睡。 我也会。
It's gonna poop. Hello!
他会大便。 难道我不是吗？
What about all the women you wanna bring home?
那你带回家的姑娘们怎么办？
Look, if I'm bringing home a woman who can't stand being around a baby, then maybe I don't want to be with that woman! Or maybe we'll just do it in the bathroom of the club!
如果我把一个姑娘带回家，她连和宝宝相处都做不到，那或许我根本不该跟那个姑娘在一起。或许我们该在酒吧的洗手间里做♥爱！
Joey, are you sure?
乔伊，你确定吗？
Yeah! All right-Look, I know sometimes it'll be hard, okay? But, it'll also be really…really great. Please Rachel! I I I really want you to stay.
对。听着，我知道有时候会很辛苦，但同时也会非常幸福愉快。拜托，瑞秋，我真的希望你留下来。
I want me to stay too. Thank you.
我也想留下来，谢谢你。
Joey, look at this crib. It's so cute.
乔伊，看看这个摇篮，好可爱。
I know. I found it on the street.
我知道，我是在街上捡到的。
Are you serious-Really? ! It's in such good condition. Yeah.
你是……真的吗？看起来还不错。 是啊。
Wow! Whoa whoa what's under the covers? I don't know.
被子下面是什么？ 我不知道。
It's moving. It's still-It's got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here! !
它在动。它长了尾巴！快把它搬出去！ 好吧。
Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Because her dying wish was for one last kiss.
那位老太大过世了，我怎么会知道呢？因为她的遗愿是给她最后一吻。
But I don't care, because you got the apartment. Yes!
但我不在乎，因为你拿到那间公寓了，太棒了！
Yeah. Umm. I think I'm gonna stay here.
是啊。我想要留在这里。
Isn't that great?
很棒吧？
What...? You...But...Bu...Ezels!
什么……？你……但是……但……两个混♥蛋！