Monica: You just asked me.
Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question. Rachel, can we do this now?
Rachel: Okay. I am so hot!
Joey: Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. And you tell me she's not a knockout.
Ross: I cannot believe we're having this conversation.
Joey: C'mon! Just try to picture her not pregnant, that's all.
Rachel: Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Thanks. Hi, um, 'kay. I'd like to start with a song that's about a man that I recently met, who's, um, come to be very important to me. You don't have to be awake To be my man. Long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand. Though we just met the other day# #There's something I have got to say. Thank you very much. I'm gonna take a short break.
Rachel: Okay, that was Phoebe Buffay, everybody. Woo!
Chandler: What was that?
Ross: Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a...
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser?
Joey: Mother-Kisser...I'll shut up.
Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? There were two sets of lips.
Chandler: Yes, well, I expect this from her. Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare.
Ross: Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something?
Chandler: Because it's complicated, it's complex. Hey, you kissed my mom!
Ross: We're rehearsing a Greek play.
Chandler: That's very funny. We done now?
Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?
Chandler: That would be a no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.
注释：tonsil：扁桃体，play tonsil tennis with=kiss deeply with深吻。
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or you can't? Okay, that's my finger. Okay, that's, that's my knee. Still doing the play. Aaah!
Phoebe: Alright, what did you do with him?
Monica: Oh! You're awake!
Phoebe: Look at you! How, how do you feel?
Coma Guy: Uh, a little woozy, but basically okay.
Monica: Gosh, you look good!
Coma Guy: I feel good!...Who are you?
Monica: Oh, sorry.
Phoebe: I'm Phoebe Buffay.
Monica: I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you.
Phoebe: Well, we both have.
Coma Guy: So, the EtchaSketch is from you guys?
Phoebe: Well, actually it's just from me.
Monica: I got you the foot massage.
Phoebe: You know who shaved you? That was me.
Monica: I read to you.
Phoebe: I sang. Hah!
Coma Guy: Well,...thanks.
Monica: Oh, my pleasure.
Phoebe: You're welcome.
Coma Guy: So. I guess I'll see you around.
Phoebe: What, that's it?
Monica: "See you around?"
Coma Guy: Well, what do you want me to say?
Monica: Well, I don't know. Maybe, um, "That was nice?" "Admit something to me? " "I'll call you?"
Coma Guy: Alright, I'll call you.
Phoebe: I don't think you mean that.
Monica: This is so typical. Y'know, we give, and we give, and we give. And then we just get nothing back! And then one day, it's just, y'know, you wake up, and "See you around"! Let's go, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Y'know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma.
Mrs. Bing: Hey kiddo, car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends, autographed. And give you a goodbye kiss, so mooah, here's the kiss, here's the goodbye... Anything you want from Lisbon?
Chandler: No, no, just knowing you're gonna be there is enough.
Mrs. Bing: Alright, well, be good, I love you. Mooah.
Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect.
Mrs. Bing: Okay. Look, it, it was stupid.
Chandler: Really stupid.
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey. I promise it will never happen again.
Chandler: Really, really stupid.
Mrs. Bing: Really, really stupid. Are we okay now?
Chandler: Yeah. No....
Ross: Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door.
Joey: Shh. He did it. He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything.
Ross: You're kidding.
Joey: No, no. He said "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?" Then she came back with: "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realize I have a bomb? "
Ross: 'Hey, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realize I am your mom?"
Joey: That makes more sense.
Ross: So, what's going on now?
Joey: I don't know. I've been standing here spelling it out for you. I don't hear anything. Wait.
Ross: Whaddya see?
Joey: It's hard to tell. They're tiny and upside down. Wait, wait, wait. They're walking away. They're walking away. No, they're not. They're coming right at us. Run! Run!
Mrs. Bing: Are you okay, kiddo?
Chandler: Yeah, I'm okay.
Mrs. Bing: Alright. You be good.
Chandler: Drive safe.
Ross: Mrs. Bing.
Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.
Ross: You mean that?
Chandler: Yeah, why not. So I told her.
Ross: How did it go?
Chandler: Awful. Awful. Couldn't have gone worse.
Ross: Well, how do you feel?
Chandler: Pretty good! I told her.
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? But...we don't have to go down that road.
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Okay? Oh, and on page two, he's not reaching for her " heaving beasts. "
Phoebe: Why, she could have heaving beasts.
Rachel: Right, right, but in this case she doesn't.
Monica: What's a 'niffle'?
Joey: You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'.
Rachel: Alright, alright, alright, so I'm not a great typist...
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Rachel: Alright, that's it! Give it back! That's it! All: No! No! No!
Phoebe: Oh wait wait wait, no, no, I just got to the part about her "public hair".
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