Joey? Are you in there?
Oh God! That's Rachel! Joey, you have to talk to her.
No no, I can't! I can't! Not after the other night, it's just it's...too weird, ok? Don't tell her I'm here!
Don't eat that!
Hey, Rachel. Is Joey here?
I don't see him. Do you see him? I don't see him. Hey!
Maybe he's in the sugar bowl. Joey? Nope.
Well, at least you make each other laugh.
What's up? Well, I haven't seen him since that night that he told me how he you know...I don't know, I think he's avoiding me.
Why is that bagel on the floor?
We were playing a game. Was Chandler naked?
Sort of like a ring toss kind of situation?
Sure! What? No! No!
All right. Well listen, if you see Joey, will you just tell him that uh...tell him I miss him.
Okay. Did you hear that?
Yeah. A naked bagel game?
Dude, I don't know. That's a pretty small hole.
Honey, you've gotta talk to her. I can't.
You know? Look, you guys don't know what it's like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
I don't know what that's like?
Until I was 25, I thought the only response to "I love you" was "Oh, crap."
Hello? No rejection? I got shot down at fat camp.
Boy, kids are mean when they're hungry.
All right so, so what'll I do?
This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never talk to her again? I know it's weird, it's awkward, bu but you gotta at least try.
Yeah, okay. I almost forgot this was on your...
We didn't play it!
Okay, so when you're done with your tea, I'll look at the leaves and tell your fortune.
I didn't know you read tea leaves. Oh yeah, I've done it for years.
I actually stopped because I was so accurate.
You know, and and you know, one of the great joys of life is it's it's wondrous unpredictability. You know? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Okay. I'm done. Read mine. Okay.
I see a ladder. Which can mean either a promotion or a violent death.
I I'm the head chef. I I can't get promoted.
Uh hmm. Uh hmm, who's next?
Okay. I'm done. Do mine. Okay.
Oh! Okay, I see a circle.
Which can either mean you're having a baby or you're gonna make a scientific discovery!
Well, I have been spending a lot of time in the lab.
What does yours say, Pheebs?
Wow, all right. Wow! Yay!
Oh, I'm gonna meet a guy! And really soon!
And he's gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night.
Hey! Has anyone seen my shirt? It's a button down, like a, a faded salmon color?
You mean your pink shirt?
Faded salmon color.
No, I haven't seen your pink shirt.
Great! Great. Then I must've left it at Mona's. I knew it!
Well, I'm sure you get another one at Ann Taylor's.
That's my favorite shirt! Ok? I love that shirt!
Well just ask Mona to give it back!
I don't know. I mean I I guess I could. It's just that we didn't really end things on such good terms.
And if I went over there, I'd be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up.
Jump up my own ass and die.
Oh, wait a second, you guys?
For the last couple weeks, I've been seeing that guy everywhere I go.
We take the same bus, we go to the same bookstore, and the same dry cleaners. Maybe he's the tea guy.
Phoebe, did you see that? He totally checked you out! And he is so cute!
Mine is a picture of the Village People. What does that mean?
Tea gives Phoebe the trots!
So I thought Joey and I would be ok once we hung out, but it's like we don't even know how to be with each other anymore.
I konw, it's tough now, but things will get better.
How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we can't even be in the same room with each other? !
I'm not great at the advice, can I introduce you in a sarcastic comment? Some cheese?
Honey, why is the Bruce Springsteen CD in the Cat Stevens case?
Let's just say if I can't find the right CD case, I just put it in the nearest one.
Okay. Where is the Cat Stevens CD?
In the James Taylor case.
Where is the James Taylor CD? Honey, I'll save you some time.
Two hundred CDs, not one of them in the right case.
Okay. No need to panic. Deep breaths, everyone.
Okay, we're just gonna have to spend some time and put the CDs in the right cases.
Well, if we're gonna do that we should come up with some kind of order. You know alphabetically or, or by genre?
Hmm, I don't know. I think we really have to talk this through.
Oh, my God, you guys have such problems! I feel so terrible for you!
Ok, I'm I'm sorry. Look, you and Joey, you're both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is change the subject.
Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else.
Oh yeah. That makes sense.
Yeah, like, I don't know, maybe you have a work problem that you need his advice on.
Ooh, I can do that. I can do that. Yeah.
Uh honey, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?
They were just giving those away at the store. In exchange for money.
I really don't know what to tell you Rach, I really don't. I mean, maybe Joey can help you out with your, with your big work problem.
What? Yeah, Joey, she's...
Rachel's got this big work problem. It is a head scratcher.
You know what? If we're gonna make dinner, we're gonna have to leave. Yeah.
So you have a big work problem?
Yeah. It's, uh...Yeah, it's, uh...You know, it's nothing.
Okay. So I think I'm gonna take off.
Yeah no wait! Joey no wait it is. It's something. It's it's umm...it's my boss.
Yeah? Yeah. And, uh...And my baby.
My boss wants to buy my baby.
What? Oh my oh my God!
I know, I told you, it's a really big problem!
He wants to buy your baby? Can you believe that?
That's crazy. That's what I told him!
Ok, how did this even happen? Well, I'll tell you.
See, uh my my boss and uh, and his wife They they can't have children. So, umm, and that we were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, "Rachel, I wanna buy your baby."
Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was about maternity leave.
Yeah that that would've been a much simpler problem.
Oh, hello. Oh, it's you. I see you everywhere.
I'm Jim. Jim Nelson.
Hi, Jim Jim Nelson. I'm Phoebe Phoebe Buffay.
We certainly have been seeing a lot of each other lately.
We have. Maybe we'll be seeing each other at dinner tomorrow night, say around 8 o'clock?
Well, maybe we will. Oh!
Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be?
I am so sorry I spilled wine all over your shirt.
It's okay. No, it's still wet.
You know what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you could wear. Here.
I don't know if I want to wear a woman's shirt.
No no, that that's a man shirt. Awfully pink.
Oh, my god. Honey, we are so meant to be together. Look, we both have the copies of Annie soundtrack.
Honey, both yours.
Hey, great advice on that Joey thing.
Yeah? The work problem?
Oh it was perfect! I mean it really felt like he was my friend again.
What problem did you say you have?
Oh that's, that's not important. The point is, I really...I think everything's gonna be okay.
May I help you?
You think you can just buy my friend's baby?
Isn't it funny how we kept running into each other? It's as if someone really wants us to be together.
Someone does. Me.
Oh, witty banter. Well done.
So tell me a little bit about yourself.
Oh ok, well I'm a masseuse, and I used to work at this place...
Do you like to party?
I I I like, I like parties.
You're wild, aren't you?
Yeah, I guess. A little.
Ain't no thing. I'm wild too.
So! Umm, anyway I I I've lived in New York, somewhat wildly I guess, for umm Well since I was fourteen.
I'm sorry. I'm staring. It's just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Oh, stop it. And your breasts! Hmm!
Okay. Look, you're coming on a little strong.
But I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants us to be together.
So, why don't we just start over, ok? And you can just tell me about yourself.
All right. Okay.
I write erotic novels for children.
What? They're wildly unpopular.
Oh, my God!
Oh, also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph. D.
Wow! You do?
Yep. A pretty huge... All right.
The sun'll come out...tomorrow! Bet...your bottom dollar that tomorrow...There'll be sun.
Hey! Hey! Oh Joey, honey listen, thank you for talking to me yesterday about that thing with my boss. That really meant a lot.
Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guy's not gonna be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
What? Let's just say I took care of it.
Whoa whoa whoa, let's say more!
Don't worry. Don't worry. I just told him, very nicely: "You don't go buying people's babies! So back off!"
No! No, no no no Joey he doesn't want to buy my baby! I made that up!
So we would have something to talk about! So it wouldn't be awkward!
And you couldn't think of anything else?
You said your boss wants to buy your baby?
I can't believe you yelled at my boss! I'm I'm gonna lose my job! What am I gonna do? !
You could always sell your baby.
Joey, I can't believe you brought my boss into this! I'm gonna get fired!
You lied to me! Well, she told me to!
Chandler has two copies of Annie!
Oh, my God! Ross! Hello!
Ross, what are you doing?
Not touching myself, if that makes anyone less uncomfortable.
Morning. You wanted to see me?
Please, come in. Have a seat.
Ok look Mr. Zelner... Oh I think it's best that I speak first. Yeah.
听着，佐纳先生…… 让我先说吧。 好吧。
I've asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation.
If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay?
Last week, when I asked you when your due date was I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was "due" your baby.
Yeah I want to be very clear that I understand that it's your baby and it is not mine to purchase.
Well, as long as we are clear about that.
Oh there it is.
That's not your regular cleaners.
Yes, I know. but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there, so I have to find a new one.
I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store...
What? A new grocery store.
The universe said I'd meet a nice guy. And that's what they gave me?
When I get up there, I'm gonna kick some ass.
Don't worry Phoebe, You'll meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you.
Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
Oh, you didn't have to come in with me. Are you kidding?
This is where they get out stains. This is like Disneyland for me.
I'm I'm gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts.
Oh, excuse me! I think you uh dropped s...Wow! What?
I'm sorry. It's just that you're so incredibly beautiful.
Oh yeah well, I'm sorry about that too, but what're you gonna do?
I hope you don't think I'm crazy, but I feel like I was meant to pick this up. Do you believe in that kind of thing? A little.
Now you're talking.
Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee?
I I I'd love to. Let me just tell my friend.
Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
She must have left.
Hi. So? What happened? It's all gonna be okay.
嗨。 所以呢？发生了什么事？ 没事了。
They're just so happy that I'm not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave.
So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I may bear.
Ralph Lauren is really going out of their way to show they're not in the baby buying business.
Chandler, can you give us a minute?
Oh I'm sorry, you're kicking me out of my own living room?
Yeah. I'll be in there.
Joey, I'm really sorry that I lied to you.
I was just trying to make things... I know. I know.
It kind of worked.
I mean, you know, I don't know about you, but I haven't thought about our thing since all this.
Hey you're right. Yeah, it's kinda been like us again a little bit.
Yeah, I know. I've missed that. Me too.
I mean I...haven't thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didn't feel the same way about me and and how it was really awkward.
My gynecologist tried to kill me.
Item J437 A.Color: Winterberry.
Hi umm, listen, come here, come . I I'm so so sorry about yesterday.
I'm really, really sorry. It's just... Listen, Ross, you you don't have to apologize.
I I understand why you were there.
You do? Yeah. You still have feelings for me.
And and to be honest, I I still have feelings for you too. And I wish we could work it out Ross, but we can't. It's too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby.
I just...It just wasn't meant to be.
Oh, God. You're right.
Ross, we...we have to be strong.
Okay, I I'm gonna go. Can I? To remember you?