老友记 第八季 第十九集

FriendsS08E19

Part1

2019年8月25日 04:17 推荐到豆瓣

Friends Season 8 Episode 19: The One with Joey’s Interview.


老友记第8季第19集:专访乔伊。

So I'm in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle and guess who is the clue for three down?
我自己在家里填《肥皂剧文摘》的字谜游戏,你猜谁是纵三的字谜提示?
Three down, "Days of Our Lives star, blank Tribbiani." That's me! I'm blank!
纵三,"《我们的日子》,空格·崔比安尼"是我!我是空格!
How cool is this! We know three down. I'm touching three down.
太酷了,我们认识纵三。我在碰纵三。
Yeah, you are, baby.
没错,宝贝。
Three down knows I'm married. What's three down doing?
纵三知道我结婚了。纵三在做什么?
So did they call you to tell you your name's gonna be in this?
他们有通知你上了杂志吗?
No. They really like me over there. They wanna do a big profile on me, but I said no.
没有,他们杂志很喜欢我。想找我做人物专访,我拒绝了。
Why'd you say no?
为什么?
Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them?
还记得我上次接受采访的结果吗?
I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft? So, who knows what I might say this time.
我说我自己写了不少台词,编剧抓狂了,让我的角色摔下了电梯间。谁知道这次我会说什么。
If only there was something in your head to control the things you say.
要是你脑子里有种东西能控制你说的每句话就好了。
Oh come on, Joey, you'll totally keep it in check this time.
少来了 这次你会表现得很好。
And plus, you know the publicity would be really good for your career. And you deserve that.
而且这种宣传造势对你的事业也很有帮助。这是你应得的。
And if you do the interview, you could mention, oh I don't know, "gal pal Rachel Green."
在专访里,你可以提到"女性朋友瑞秋·格林"
Is that "gal pal" spelled L O S E R?
"女性朋友"的意思是失败者吗?
Okay, don't listen to him. Please?
好吧,别听他的。拜托。
Fine! All right, I'll do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I, you know, start to say something stupid.
好吧,我接受采访。但你们都得坐在旁边,我要是开始说蠢话,就及时阻止我。
Just then, or all the time? Because we have jobs, you know?
你只指专访时还是一辈子?因为我们还得去上班。
Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember, gal pal, Rachel Green.
我们会一直在场的,但你得记住女性朋友瑞秋·格林。
Ha ha! I'm gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. Seriously, proud of you. Yeah.
我要上《肥皂剧文摘》了!不只是上那个愚蠢的字谜游戏。我真的以你为荣。 好吧。
I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
谢谢你抽空接受访问。
Oh, not at all. Happy to do it.
别客气,我很乐意。
You think we're being obvious?
你们觉得我们做得很明显吗?
No. We're just four people with neck problems, who talk like this.
不,我们只是四个脖子有问题,说话不正常的人。
I think it's great that you wanted to meet here.
约在这里见面实在不错。
You know when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they wanna go to a big fancy restaurant.
大多数人听说餐费会由杂志社来买单,都会约到高级大餐厅。
Actually, I didn't know the magazine was paying.
我真的不知道杂志社会买单。
Wouldn't've mattered, I'm doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
那不重要。我这么做是为了影迷,不是为了白吃。
Can I get you anything? I'll have a cup of coffee.
你们要点些什么? 咖啡。
And I'll have all the muffins.
各种松饼统统来一份。
Hey! Shhh! We're not talking.
嗨。 我们不能说话。
Oh, finally. Oh.
终于可以不说话了。
So according to your bio, you've done quite a bit of work before Days of Our Lives. Anything that you're particularly proud of?
根据你的个人资料,在《我们的日子》之前你做过很多工作。哪份工作尤其令你自豪?
All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a shwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang.
你想要的只不过是个小弟,你所嫉妒的是男人的老二,它可以用来撒尿,时而拿来玩弄,时而让其悬空摇摆。
Folks, has this ever happened to you? You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, and these darn cartons are so flingin' flangin' hard to open.
各位,你们遇到过这种情况吗?你打开冰箱,想喝杯牛奶,但纸盒很难打开。
Boy, you said it, Mike.
天啊,你说得对,麦克。
There's gotta be a better way! And there is, Kevin!
一定有更棒的办法! 没错,凯文。
This is the first time he's ever used this product, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. Go ahead.
这是他第一次使用这样产品,你们会看到使用方法有多简单。来吧。
This works in any milk can'ton. It is easy.
这适用于所有牛奶纸盒。 确实简单。
Now I can have milk every day.
现在我每天都能喝牛奶了。
So this is it, Victor?
就这样了吗,维克多?
Yeah, I guess it is. And so I'm gonna get on this spaceship and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels.
我猜是吧。所以我要搭上这艘太空船到巴拉根七号星寻找替代能源。
But when I return 200 years from now, you'll be long gone. But I won't have aged at all.
但两百年后我再回来你早已经不在。我却一点都不会变老。
So you tell your great great granddaughter to look me up. Because, Adrian baby I'm gonna want to meet her.
你得要你的曾曾孙女来找我。因为,艾德莉恩宝贝,我想见见她。
Shh, Okay, here I come. Here I come. See I'm coming to fix the copier. I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking, "What do I do? What do I do?"
我出现了。我要来修复印机。我没办法靠近复印机。心想"我该怎么办?"
So I just watch them have sex. And then I say...Wait, here's my line: You know, that's bad for the paper tray.
所以我就看着他们做♥爱。然后我说……等一下,我要说台词了你知道吗,那样会把纸匣弄坏。
Nice work my friend. Nice work, my friend. Thank you.
干得漂亮,朋友。 谢谢。
Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am...
等一下,我又出现了。等一下,那家伙的屁♥股挡到我了。我出现了,我出现了,我出现了。
Well, there are so many things, it's, you know hard to pick just one.
我做过太多工作,只选一个真的很难。
I'm gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything?
我要去买咖啡。你们需要什么东西吗?
Oh yeah, I'd actually, I'd love a blueberry muffin and a chamomile tea.
我要蓝莓松饼跟甘菊茶。
Double latte. Extra foam.
双份拿铁,多加奶泡。
And a bagel with only... I was just being polite.
我要百吉饼加…… 我只是礼貌性问一下。
Okay. How about when you're not working? What do you do in your spare time?
你不工作的时候呢?你在业余时间都做些什么?
Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river.
快看这个蠢货。仗着自己的船大就以为整条河都是他的。
Get out of the way, jackass! Who names their boat Coast Guard, anyway?
别挡路,混♥蛋!谁会把自己的船取名为"海岸警卫队"呢?
That is the Coast Guard.
他们就是海岸警卫队。
What are they doing out here? The coast is all the way over there!
他们在这里做什么?海岸在那边。
Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
快看啊,太不可思议了。乔伊已经憋气快四分钟了。
Dude! What you you trying to kill me? !
哥们,你想害死我吗?
Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
看来,今天你真的很忙。这项牛仔帽太过了吧?
Come on, it's fun!
来吧,真的很好玩!
All right. Isn't this a woman's hat?
好吧。这不是女人的帽子吗?
Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea.
别说傻话了,快去帮我们泡荼。
You know what? We have to turn off the porn.
我们得把黄♥片关掉。
I think you're right.
你说得对。
All right, ready? One.
好吧,准备好了吗? 一。
Two. Three.
二。 三。
That's kind of nice.
感觉不错。
Yeah, that's kind of a relief. Yeah.
我松了一口气。 对。
You wanna see if we still have it? Yeah.
你想看看我们还能收到吗? 好啊。
Free porn! We have free porn here!
我们有免♥费的黄♥片看!
In my spare time, I read to the blind. And I'm also a mento for kids.
我在业余时间会念书给盲人听。我还是孩子们的曼陀珠。
A mento? You know, a mento. A role model.
曼陀珠? 曼陀珠,榜样。
A mento? Right.
曼陀珠? 对。
Like the candy?
你说的是糖果吗?
Matter of fact, I do.
没错,我很喜欢。
Well umm, another thing that our readers always wanna know is how soap stars stay in such great shape. Do you have some kind of fitness regime?
读者一直都想知道肥皂剧明星是怎么保持健美身材的。你有健身妙方吗?
We stars usually just try to eat right and get lots of exercise.
明星们会正确地饮食,伴以大量运动。
Wow! You realize that we've been throwing on this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
你知道我们已经丢了一小时的球都一直没掉吗?
Are you serious?
真的吗?
Yeah. I realized it about a half hour ago but I didn't want to say anything, 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
半小时前我就发现了,但我不想说出来,怕自己乌鸦嘴。
Wow, we are pretty good at this. Yeah.
我们真的很厉害。 对。
Hey, we totally forgot about lunch.
我们忘了吃午餐。
I think that's the first time I've ever missed a meal. My pants are a little loose.
这是我第一次忘了吃饭。我的裤子都松了。
What's wrong with you?
你怎么了?
Well, I I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, I've been unable to stand up since. But, I don't think it's anything serious.
我举重的时候肚子突然痛得要命。后来我昏了过去。然后就一直站不起来了。但我觉得没什么大问题。
This sounds like a hernia. You have to you you Go to the doctor!
听起来像是疝气,快去看医生吧。
No way! Ok look, if I'm gonna go to the doctor for anything, it's gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach!
不行,如果我去看医生就得把这玩意从我肚子里取出来。
Why did I have to start working out again? Damn you 15s!
我为什么要恢复健身的习♥惯呢?该死的15磅哑铃!
What is it? A trifle. It's got all of these layers.
这是什么? 松糕,有好几层。
First there's a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch.
先是一层手指饼干。然后一层果酱,然后是奶油冻,是我自己亲手做的哦。
Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, beef sauteed with peas and onions. Then a little bit more custard.
黑莓、手指饼干、豌豆洋葱烩牛肉。再加一层奶油冻。
That tastes like feet!
味道好像臭脚丫。
I like it.
我喜欢。
Are you kidding?
你开什么玩笑?
What's not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good!
这有什么不好的?奶油冻,好吃。果酱,好吃。肉,好吃。
Well you you don't look good, Joe.
你的脸色不太好,乔伊。
Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.
冰箱坏了,我得把所有东西吃掉。
Cold cuts, ice cream, limes. Hey, what was in that brown jar?
冷盘、冰淇淋、酸橙。那个棕色罐子里装了什么?
That's still in there? Not anymore.
还放在冰箱里呢? 现在没了。
Oh! Yay! Look! There's a piece that doesn't have floor on it!
这一块没有沾到地板。
Stick to your side. Hey, come on, now.
别越界。 少来了。
All right, what are we having?
好吧,你们吃什么呢?
I don't believe in these crazy diets you know, just everything in moderation.
我不相信那些疯狂的节食法。只要正常饮食就行了。
Your muffins.
你的松饼来了。
I'll take those to go. For the kids.
我要外带。给孩子们吃。
Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you. You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off. What happened there?
我知道我想问什么了。多年前,编剧安排你在剧中意外身亡。那是怎么回事?
Oh, it was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I really shouldn't've said.
说起来很傻,我在一次访问中说了不该说的话。
But believe me, that's not gonna happen today. Understood.
但今天我不会那么做。 了解。
So, what'd you say back then? I said that I...
所以,你那时说了什么? 我说我……
You guys, this is Shelley, she's interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, uh Shelley, these are my friends...
她是雪丽。她在代表《肥皂剧文摘》访问我。雪丽,他们是我的朋友。
Hi, I'm gal pal Rachel Green. And if you want the dirt, I'm the one you come too.
嗨,我是女性朋友瑞秋·格林。你想知道八卦消息就来找我。
This might be Joey's baby, who knows? I'm just kidding. Seriously, gal pal Rachel Green.
这可能是乔伊的孩子,谁知道呢?我只是在开玩笑,我是女性朋友瑞秋·格林。
Who just lost the respect of her unborn child.
她刚刚丢够了她还没有出世的孩子的脸。
I'm gonna go get this warmed up.
我去把这个热一下。
Joey, you're doing great.
乔伊,你表现得很好。
So far, nothing stupid.
到目前为止没有说傻话。
Mento? No, thanks.
曼陀珠? 不用,谢谢。
So as Joey's friends, is there anything that you guys think our readers should know?
身为乔伊的朋友,你们有什么事想跟读者分享吗?
Uh no, no just just that he is a great guy.
没有,他是个大好人。
Yeah, that's gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest.
说这种话你也想上《肥皂剧文摘》。
Well I......I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
我……我想说,乔伊真的丰富了我们的生活。
Umm, I...I just think that you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
谁也想不到这么性感的男人还会那么体贴。
I like that. What's your name? Phoebe Buffay.
这句我喜欢。你叫什么名字? 菲比·布非。
How do you spell that? So we can get it right.
怎么拼?我们要保证拼写正确。
Okay, it's P as in Phoebe. H as in Heebie. O as in Obie. E as in Ebie. B as in Beebee. And E as in, "'ello there, mate!"
菲比的P,希比的H,欧比的O,艾比的E,比的B。E是"哈喽,朋友!"
Great! Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
太棒了,很高兴能认识你们。
Yeah, you too. Thanks.
对,我也是。 谢谢。
So it seems like you have a lot of friends, who would you say is your best friend?
你似乎有很多朋友。谁是你最好的朋友?
How come you have two?
你为什么会有两个?
Well, this one's for you.
这个是送你的。
Get out! No, I can't.
少来了! 不,我做不到。
No, no. Listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry. It's about you and me and the fact that we're best buds.
我知道这对你来说意义重大,这不只是首饰而己。它代表了你跟我是最好的朋友。
Is this friendship? I think so! Check it out! We're bracelet buddies!
这是友谊吗?我想是的。你看,我们是手镯兄弟!
That's what they'll call us!
他们以后就会这么称呼我们!
Oh, Joey! Sorry! It's all right. Don't worry about it.
乔伊,对不起。 没关系,别担心。
No, but look, that's gonna leave a stain.
可是你看啊,会留下印子。
Rach, hey, it's fine. You're at Joey's.
瑞秋,没关系,你在乔伊家。
Really? Yeah, look.
真的吗? 对,你看。
I've never lived like this before. I know!
我从没过过这种生活。 我知道。
Well, don't waste it. I mean, it's still food. Jeez!
别浪费,这毕竟还是食物,天啊!
I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend and damn it, I am a good friend. So just shut up and close your eyes.
我对这件事有深深的罪恶感,我想当个好朋友,我本来就是个好朋友。闭上你的嘴巴跟眼睛。
Wow, you are a good friend, 'cause the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
你确实是个好朋友。我今天早上去试镜,但我失败了。但那个吻真的很棒,瑞秋真是个幸运的姑娘。
Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. And they're off!
请参赛者离开隔离间。出发!
Get your foot off my contestant! Judge!
别挡住我的选手,裁判!
Judge rules: No violation. Ohhh.
裁判判决,没有犯规。 哦。
And the duck gets the Nutter Butter!
鸭子找到花生酱饼干了!
No! Aw. Hey! That's not a Nutter Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
不,那不是花生酱饼干,那是以前掉的馄饨!
No, judge rules, Nutter Butter.
不,裁判判决是花生酱饼干。
Tough call. Yeah.
黑哨。 是的。
I'd seen this thing on The Discovery Channel.
我在探索频道看到过。
Wait a minute. I saw that! On The Discovery Channel. Yeah, about jellyfish, and how if you...You peed on yourself?
等一下,我看过那期节目!在探索频道上。关于水母,如果你……你往自己身上尿尿了?
You can't say that! You you don't know! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I I tried, I but I I couldn't...bend that way. So...
别那么说,你不了解那有多痛。我以为我会痛得昏过去。总之我试过了,但我没办法那样子弯曲身子。所以……
Ewwww! That's right, I stepped up!
哦! 没错,我挺身而出了!
She's my friend and she needed help! If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you!
她是我的朋友,她需要帮忙。有必要的话,我可以往你们任何人身上尿尿。
Umm, no. No best friend, no. Just a lot of close friends. Yeah.
不,我没有最好的朋友。我只有很多密友。
So umm, now back to the show. How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?
现在回到那部剧。有那么多男同志支持你,你有什么感觉?
Really? Me? Wow, I don't even know any huge gay people.
真的吗?我?我都不认识任何男同志。
It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
我真的觉得心好痛。
Now, off the record, you're not...
这是我们的私下谈话,你不是……
What? Are you referring to my man's bag?
怎么?你是在说我的男士背包吗?
At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical, too.
刚开始我只觉得它好看,但它还很实用。
Check it out. It's got compartments for all your stuff: Your wallet, your keys, your address book.
快看啊,里面有很多放东西的小袋子。你可以放皮夹、钥匙、通讯簿。
Your makeup.
化妆品。
Now now now should I climb down your front so we're face to face or or should I climb down your back so we're we're butt to face.
我是要从你的正面滑下去,让我们面对面,还是从你的背面滑下去,屁♥股对着脸?
I think face to face. Face to face, yeah. I would say that.
我想面对面比较好。 对,面对面。
Okay, here I come. All right.
好吧,我来了。 好吧。
Oh, my...How much do you weigh, Ross?
天啊……你有多重,罗斯?
I prefer not to answer that right now. I'm still carrying a little holiday weight.
我现在不想回答那个问题。假日结束后,我胖了不少。
You know, when we talked about face to face, I don't think we thought it all the way through.
我们说"面对面"的时候,没有完全想清楚!
Hey, Pheebs. Hey!
嗨,菲比。 嗨。
Check it out.
你看。
How much of a man am I?
我很有男子气概吧?
Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut.
不错嘛,男子气概中透着淫♥荡。
You're turning into a woman.
你变成女人了。
No, I'm not! Why would you say that? That's just mean!
才没有!你为什么会那么说?那太伤人了!
Now I've upset you? What did I say?
我惹毛你了吗?我说了什么?
Not what you said, it's just the way you said it. Oh, my God! I'm a woman!
不是你说的话,而是你的语气。天啊!我是个女人!
Great nap. It really was.
我睡得很香。 没错。
Me? Gay? No. No. No. But I have a number of close friends who are.
我?男同志?不不不。但我有很多密友是男同志。
So let's talk about women. I'm sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
我们来谈谈女人。我相信女性读者对你的爱情生活很有兴趣。
Oh oh oh oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and then I say, "Hey, how you doing?"
我会对着一个女人上下打量,对她说,"嘿,你好吗?"
Oh, please.
拜托。
Hey. How you doing?
嘿,你好吗?
Hey. How you doing?
嘿,你好吗?
He has the most amazing Porsche under there.
他有一辆很棒的保时捷。
I'd love to show you, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping. Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink?
我很乐意让你们参观,但我才刚把它停好。它在休息。你们两个想去喝一杯吗?
Is Rachel here? I'm her sister. Oh, my God! Jill!
瑞秋在吗?我是她妹妹。 天啊,吉尔!
Oh, my God! Rachel!
天啊,瑞秋!
Oh, my God! Introduce us! Well, this is Chandler.
天啊,快帮我们介绍! 他是钱德勒。
And you know Monica and Ross! And that's Phoebe, and that's Joey.
你认识莫妮卡跟罗斯。她是菲比,他是乔伊。
Hey, how you doing? Don't!
嘿,你好吗? 少来!
You're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend. I'm just...You know, I just don't feel that way about you.
你是个好人。我很愿意当你的室友跟朋友。我只是……对你没有那种感觉。
I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
我知道是怎么回事了。那是因为我试着抗拒你,对吧?相信我,我发动攻势后你会有截然不同的感觉。
I don't think so. Oh, I do.
我觉得不会。 绝对会。
How you doing?
你好吗?
I'm okay.
我很好。
What? Oh, dear God!
什么?天啊!
Not much to tell there. I'm really shy.
没什么好说的,我真的很害羞。
So that's it. I guess that's all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
好了,我想我已经问完了。非常感谢。我想应该下一期就会刊出你的访问。
Oh, great. Great. Thank you.
太棒了。谢谢你。
Bye. Bye bye.
再见。 拜拜。
I did it. Amazing.
我办到了。 太棒了。
Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other, than Days of Our Lives, what's your favorite soap opera?
等一下,我差点忘了。我们对每个人都要提这个问题。除了《我们的日子》以外你最喜欢哪出肥皂剧?
Oh, I don't watch soap operas. Excuse me? I have a life, you know?
我不看肥皂剧,抱歉。我的生活没那么无聊。
Thank you. The readers at Soap Opera Digest will be happy to learn that.
谢谢。《肥皂剧文摘》的读者知道那点一定会很高兴。
Oh, good enough. So close!
非常好。只差一点而己。
Wow! I can't believe they didn't put in the part where you said you didn't watch soap operas.
他们竟然没登出你说你不看肥皂剧那一段。
Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that.
我打电话告诉那个女记者,我是在开玩笑。她接受了。
You slept with her, didn't you? A little bit.
你跟她上床了,对吧? 可以那么说。
Wow! This picture of you sure is steamy.
你的这张照片英气逼人啊。
Oh yeah, that's just a little something for my huge gay fan base.
那是为了配合我男同志影迷的喜好。
Did you just wink at me?
你在对我抛媚眼吗?
Hey, you're the one who loves the picture.
是你说喜欢那张照片的。


《老友记》本章剧本下载