Hi! Hey! Hey!
嗨。 嗨。 嗨。
So, what's the final head count on my baby shower?
有多少人会来参加宝宝的欢迎会？
About twenty. A couple people from work had something else to do.
大约有20个人，有些同事有事没空过来。
Also both of your sisters called and neither can make it.
你的妹妹们打电话来说她们没办法来。
What? You mean they're not coming to a social event where there's no men and no booze? That's shocking. I don't care, as long as my mom's here.
什么？她们竟然不来参加没有男人跟酒精的社交聚会？那真的是太稀奇了。我不在乎，只要我妈能来就行了。
Oh, my God. Your mother.
天啊，你妈。
What? My mom's not gonna be here?
怎么？我妈不会来吗？
Well, given that we forgot to invite her, it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
由于我们忘了邀请她，她要是能来那还真是天大的巧合呢。
My God!
我的天啊！
Well it wasn't my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations!
不是我的错，负责邀请来宾的是菲比。
Well I don't, I don't have a mother so often I forget that other people... Oh, give it a rest.
我没有妈妈，所以我常忘了…… 少来了你。
So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?
所以说我妈不来参加宝宝的欢迎会吗？
No. Neither is mine.
对。我妈也不会来。
Ok, you know what? Don't worry, ok? We'll take care of it. We'll call her. You just go home and get ready.
你别着急。我们会处理的，我们会打电话给她。你先回家做准备。
Please, make sure she comes. It's really important to me. I mean that's my mom!
确定她一定会来，这对我很重要。她是我妈。
I know. I know, what's her number? I don't know.
我知道，她电话号码是多少？ 我不知道。
Go. I have it in my book. Go.
你去吧，我记在我的电话簿里了。
Wait a minute. If you're in charge of invitations, why am I the one who has to call her Hello, Mrs. Green! Hi, it's Monica Geller.
等等，如果你负责邀请来宾，那为什么是我打电话给她？喂，格林太太，我是莫妮卡·盖勒。
Oh, hello, Monica. Hi.
哈喽，莫妮卡。 嗨。
Umm I know this is last minute, but we we've decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
我知道时间紧促，但是我们打算在今天临时帮瑞秋的宝宝办欢迎会。
I know, my daughter's told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
我的女儿们已经告诉我了，她们一个月前就接到欢迎会的"临时"请帖了。
Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm I'm so sorry.
好吧，我很抱歉。
For what, dear? For not inviting me, or for lying about it?
为什么呢，亲爱的？为了没有邀请我，还是说谎骗我呢？
Oh, my God! My ass is sweating.
天啊，我的屁♥股在流汗。
Please, please, can you come? It starts at 4:00.
拜托了，您能来吗？四点开始。
Well, all right. I'll see you at 4. Thank you.
好吧，四点见。 谢谢。
Isn't it at 3? Son of a bitch!
不是三点开始吗？ 该死！
Hey, Joe! Wanna shoot some hoops?
乔伊，你要去打篮球吗？
No, I can't go. I'm practicing. I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
我不能去，我在练习。我要参加新游戏节日主持人的试镜。
Oh cool! Great!
酷啊！ 太棒了！
Yeah yeah, and if I get it, by day I'll be Dr. Drake Remoray, but by night I'll be Joey Trrrribbiani!
如果我能当上主持人，白天我是德雷克·拉莫瑞医生，但晚上我是乔伊·崔比安尼！
You'll be perfect for this! That's already your name!
你非常适合这份工作，用的都是你的真名耶！
But the audition's in a couple hours, and I don't understand the game.
但是再过几小时就要试镜了，我还没搞懂游戏规则。
Well do you want some help?
你需要帮忙吗？
Oh, really? That'd be great. Hey, you guys can be the contestants!
真的吗？那真的太棒了。你们可以当参赛者！
Awesome.
帅呆了。
Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time.
输球给初中女生这种事可以等以后再说。
All right. Let's play Bamboozled!
好吧，我们来玩"晕头转向"！
Bamboozled? Yeah. Isn't that a cool name?
晕头转向？ 对，那个名字很酷吧？
Yeah! No! All right. Okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller.
对！ 不！ 好吧。第一位参赛者是罗斯·盖勒。
Why don't you tell us a little bit about you Ross?
做个简单的自我介绍吧，罗斯。
Well uh, I I'm a paleontologist. Umm, I I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! And uh...
我是古生物学。我住在纽约。我有个儿子叫做本。嗨，本。还有……
I said, a little bit, Ross. Now, how about you, Chandler?
我说了是简单介绍，罗斯。你呢，钱德勒？
JWell Joey, I'm a headhunter. I hook up out of work Soviet scientists with rogue third world nations. Hi Rasputin!
我是个猎头。我为卑鄙的第三世界国家招聘失业的苏联科学家。嗨，拉斯普廷。
Excellent! Let's play Bamboozled! Chandler, you'll go first.
太棒了！我们开始吧。钱德勒，你先来。
What is the capital of Colombia? Bogota.
哥伦比亚的首都在哪里？ 波哥大。
It's Bogota, but close enough.
是波格大，但很接近了。
Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wangle card.
可以把机会让给罗斯或选一张魔法机会卡。
What does a Wicked Wango Card do? I should know that.
魔法机会卡可以做什么？ 我应该知道的。
Let's see, just one moment please. Umm, here we are, a Wicked Wangle card determines whether you go higher or lower.
让我看看。请等一下，在这里。魔法机会卡能决定你要向上或是向下。
Higher or lower than what?
什么东西向上或是向下？
This is embarrassing!
这真的是太丢脸了！
Can you believe how lame this is?
你不觉得这个游戏很逊吗？
I'm sorry. I don't believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
抱歉，我想参赛者不该相互交谈。
Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. That's good right?
我叫脱衣舞男五点到，没问题吧？
You ordered a stripper for the shower? That is totally inappropriate.
你请脱衣舞男来宝宝欢迎会？那太不合适了。
Why? He's gonna be dressed as a baby.
怎么了？他会打扮成宝宝的样子。
Oh, hi, Mrs. Green. I'm so glad you could make it.
嗨，格林太太，我很高兴你赶来了。
Yeah, thank you so much. And again we're so sorry. We could not feel worse about it.
谢谢你，我们再次表示抱歉。我们真的很过意不去。
Try. Oh there's my little girl.
试试看吧。我女儿在那边！
She's still mad. Yeah, I know.
她还在生气、 对，我知道。
Isn't it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
那不是很棒吗？少了一个人跟你闲聊天。
Phoebe, Sandra's mad at you too. It doesn't bother you?
菲比，珊卓拉也在生你的气。你心里不纠结吗？
No, look, we've apologized twice! I I can't do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you know you just have to...be ok with it.
我们道了两次歉，我没有别的办法了。我知道你讨厌别人生你的气，但你得去学着接受。
Okay. I can do that. I gotta go powder my ass.
好吧，我办得到。我得去给屁♥股擦点痱子粉。
Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school.
看看你的脸，跟你念高中时一样。
If I didn't know better, i'd say you were a cheerleader in trouble.
你要不是我女儿，我还以为你是失足啦啦队长。
Come, let's get some tea. Okay.
来吧，我们去喝点茶。 好吧。
Oh, my! Look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet?
天啊，你看，只剩三星期了。你挑好奶妈了吗？
Now I don't want you to just use your housekeeper 'cause it would just split her focus.
我不建议让管家兼♥职，因为那样她会分心的。
Oh well actually I'm not gonna use a nanny and uh, I don't even have a housekeeper.
事实上，我不打算请奶妈。我也没有管家。
It's like you're a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You don't know how overwhelming this is gonna be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
你简直像是山顶洞人。瑞秋，你得请个奶妈。你不知道带孩子有多累。你小时候我雇用了凯太太。
Mrs. K! Oh that she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca.
凯太太，对，她人真的很好。她还教过我西班牙文。我大概还记得一点。你妈是个疯婆子。
Such a sweet woman.
她真是个好人。
Well, as as great she was, I I can't afford that.
她真的很棒，但我出不起那笔钱。
Oh, Rachel! I just had the greatest idea! I'm gonna come and live with you!
瑞秋，我想到一个好点子！我要搬过去跟你们住！
Wh wh what? What?
什么？什么？
Oh, I'm so happy I'm gonna do this for my little girl. Look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
我很高兴我能帮我女儿这个忙。看看你，你感动得都快哭了。
Yes, yes, I do.
没错，我是快哭了。
All right Ross you're in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
罗斯，现在是你领先。你要再回答一题或旋转处罚轮？
The Wheel has not been my friend tonight, Joey. I'll take another question.
今天我转轮子的运气不太好，乔伊。我要再回答一题。
Okay. This is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.
好吧，这题很难，屏住呼吸。
It's okay. I'm ready.
没关系，我准备好了。
No dude, you gotta hold your breath until you're ready to answer the question. This is part of the game.
不，哥们，在你回答问题之前要一直屏住呼吸。这是游戏规则。
This is ridiculous! He's not gonna hold his...
这太可笑了，他没法屏住……
Okay. What do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia? Triska...Holy cow. That's a big word. Trisk...Seriously, look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that?
好吧，如果你患有这种恐惧症那你害怕的是什么？恐……天啊，那个词真长。恐……看看这个词，钱德勒，这该怎么念？
Let me see that. This one right here.
让我看看。 就是这个词。
Triskaidekaphobia. Fear of Triscuits!
恐十三症。 害怕薄脆饼干！
No! No. Fear of the number 13. Fear of Triscuits?
不，是害怕数字十三。 害怕薄脆饼干？
It's possible. They have really sharp edges.
这有可能，饼干的边缘很锋利的。
Alright, Chandler, you're up.
钱德勒，轮到你了。
Wait a minute, I I believe I'm entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn?
等等，我可以用天使通行证换一次答题机会。
This game makes no sense!
这个游戏真的很没有道理！
You know what? You're just upset 'cause you're losing.
你生气是因为你要输了。
Oh, come on, Ross. I think we're all losers here.
少来了，罗斯，我觉得我们都是失败者。
Alright, Chandler. You can either spin the Wheel or pick a Google Card.
好，钱德勒。你可以选旋转轮子或挑一张搜索卡。
Let me think, let me think. Oh, I don't care.
让我想想。我不在乎。
You you must choose Mr. Bing.
你非选不可，宾先生。
Either. It makes no difference.
那还是没有差别。
Choose, you jackass.
快选吧，混♥蛋。
I'll take a card. Okay, you picked the Gimme Card!
我要抽卡片。 好的，你抽到了贪心卡！
You get all of Ross' points! What?
你拿到了罗斯所有的分数！ 什么？
This game is kind of fun!
这个游戏开始好玩起来了！
You don't think it's a little crazy that you get all my points just 'cause you...
你不觉得你拿到我的分数太疯狂了……
I don't think the contestants aren't supposed to speak to each other.
参赛者不该相互交谈的。
Why did you invite my mother? What?
你为什么要邀请我妈来？ 什么？
She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
她要搬过来跟我和罗斯住，以便帮忙照顾宝宝。
For how long? Eight weeks.
多久？ 八星期。
I mean I love my mother, but my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.
我爱我妈，但是跟她一起吃长午餐就是种折磨。
I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me.
如果她想跟我住，我会觉得很荣幸。
She can't hear you.
她又听不到你拍马屁。
What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
什么？那我该怎么样？
Well, if you don't want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
如果不希望她搬过去，你该直说。
You're right. You're right. I mean I'm about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I don't want her to just be sleeping on my couch!
你说得对，我就快生了。我可以说我不希望她睡在我家沙发上。
Oh my God! She's gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
她会睡在我床上，绝不能让那种事发生。
That's right. That is right. You go over there and tell her you don't want her to live with you.
没错。你去告诉她你不希望她搬过去跟你们住。
Do not take no for an answer. Okay.
一定要坚持立场。 好。
This is great! Now she's gonna be mad at Rachel!
这简直太棒了！现在她会生瑞秋的气！
You know what? And I'm just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
我要趁虚而入当她的乖女儿讨好她。
I have new respect for Chandler. All right, everybody! It's time to open the presents!
我对钱德勒又产生了新的敬意。好了，大伙们，该来拆礼物了
Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because you're the most important person in this room. And in the world!
对，瑞秋要拆的第一样礼物，应该是外婆送的礼物。因为你是这里最重要的人！也是全世界最重要的人！
Well uh, I don't have a gift because I wasn't invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyone's attention.
我没有准备礼物，因为我直到最后时刻才受到邀请。但非常谢谢你，亲爱的，让大家都注意到这一点。
How about you less important people? Let's open your presents!
你们这些不太重要的人呢？我们来拆你们的礼物吧！
Mom that's ok that you didn't get you a gift!
你没准备礼物也没关系。
Well, I kinda did. Me. Eight weeks of me.
但我也算是送了你一样礼物。我要跟你同住八个星期。
Yeah. Ok, you see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
好吧，妈，事实上我可以自己照顾宝宝。
Sweetheart I know you're gonna be a terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
宝贝，我知道你会是个好妈妈。但我觉得一开始你还是需要有人帮忙。
But mom, I really know what I'm doing. I can handle this.
我知道自己在做什么，我应付得来。
Really? Remember Twinkles?
真的吗？还记得亮亮吗？
He was a hamster. I'm not gonna vacuum up my baby!
他是只仓鼠，我又不会拿吸尘器吸我的宝宝！
Okay, come on, Rach. It's present time!
快来吧，瑞秋，拆礼物的时间到了！
You know you're the glue holding this whole party together. It's kinda falling apart here.
你是这个派对的主角。现在这个派对也快毁了。
Oh, look! Wow!
你看！ 哇！
They came this is from your friends at work.
这是你同事送的。
Oh, my gosh! Oh, wow! Oh, I know what this is.
天啊！哇！我知道这是什么。
Wait a minute. That can't be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
等一下。不可能啊。这是宝宝啤酒机吗？
Darling, that's a breast pump.
女儿，那是挤奶器。
Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh, wow! What's this?
我说过我猜完了吗？好吧，谢谢。哇，这是什么？
It's a Diaper Genie. It dispenses clean diapers!
是尿布精灵？ 是用来放干净尿布的！
No. It's where you put dirty ones.
不，那是放脏尿布的。
Well that's gross, why don't you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
真恶心。为什么不直接把脏尿布丢在外面的垃圾桶里？
Oh you're gonna do that ten times a day?
你每天要丢十次吗？
What, it goes 10 times a day? Are we feeding this baby Indian food?
什么？宝宝一天可以拉十次？难道我们给她喂的是印度食物吗？
No dear, that's what babies do. No, dear.
不，宝宝都是那样的。
Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
瑞秋，听你妈妈的话，她非常聪明。
Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while you're trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
再说，你去倒垃圾的时候你的宝宝该怎么办？
I don't know, I'd leave it on the changing table?
我不知道，把她放在尿布桌上？
What? What did I do? What did I do?
怎么？我做错了什么？
You can't leave a baby alone.
你不能丢下宝宝一个人。
Oh come Of course, I know that! Of course you never leave a baby alone.
我当然知道，千万不能丢下宝宝一个人。
I mean who would she wouldn't be safe, you know, not as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God.
那样……她会很不安全。她跟我这个菜鸟妈妈在一起也会不安全。
OK.You know what? Opening the presents is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, I'm just gonna maybe open them all a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
这样吧，现在拆礼物让我有点不知所措。我待会再把礼物都拆开。谢谢你们赶来，还送了礼物。这个篮子很漂亮。
It's actually a bassinet.
那其实是个摇篮。
Okay, Mommy, don't ever leave me.
好吧，妈妈，别离开我。
In what John Houston film would you hear this line, "Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!"
这是约翰·休斯顿哪部电影里的台词，"警徽？我们不需要臭警徽！"
Treasure of the Sierra Madre!
《碧血金沙》！
Correct! There's a possible backwards bonus!
答对了！倒念还能加分！
Madre Sierra the of Treasure! Yes!
沙金血碧。 对！
I'd like to go up the Ladder of Chance to the Golden Mud Hut, please!
我要爬上机会梯到金泥屋去。
Wise choice. How many rungs? Six!
明智的选择。几阶？ 六阶！
That noise can only mean one thing. Hungry Monkey!
那个声音只代表一种东西。 饥饿的猴子！
I'd like a Wicked Wango Card. Okay.
我要魔法机会卡。 好。
It's an audio question. Name this television theme song:
这是声音题。说出这出电视剧的主题曲。
Oh, my God. I know this, give me give me a second!
天啊。我知道，让我想一想。
Tell it to the Time Turtle! Shut up!
去跟时间乌龟说吧！ 闭嘴！
Ross:"I Dream of Jeannie"! Yes! Yes, you're back in the lead!
《太空仙女恋》！ 答对了，你再度领先！
I'd like to spin the Wheel.
我要转轮子。
Oh, come on!
快点！
Super Speedy Speed Round.
超级快速答题回合。
Is there a Hopping Bonus? Of course.
跳跃有加分吗？ 当然。
Who invented bifocals? Ben Franklin!
谁发明了双焦点透镜？ 本·富兰克林！
Correct. Which monarch ruled Great Britain the longest?
答对了 哪位君王统治英国最久
Queen Victoria! Correct again.
维多莉亚女王。 再次正确。
But you forgot to switch legs between questions. So, no Hopping Bonus!
但你忘了换题时要换腿跳。所以跳跃动作不加分！
Ohhh! Every time!
每次都这样！
Yeah. Now over to Chandler. I'd like a Google Card.
对。现在轮到钱德勒了。 我要搜索卡。
Are you sure? Yes! No! Google!
你确定吗？ 对！不！搜索卡！
Oh, my God! Congratulations, Ross! Because, Chandler...you've been Bamboozled!
天啊！恭喜你，罗斯，因为钱德勒……你已经出局了！
No! Yes! This is the best game ever!
不！ 对。 这是我玩过最棒的游戏！
So umm, you're gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
只要我有需要，你就会留下来吗？
Of course, I am.
当然了。
Oh mom, I swear I'm not an idiot. I read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I I just didn't think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes.
妈，我发誓我不是白♥痴。我看了各种有关怀孕跟生产的书。但我没想到要去看带孩子方面的书。
And and then guess what? The baby's coming and I don't know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my Diaper Genie?
可现在呢，宝宝就快要出生了，我却不知道该怎么办。我可以吐在尿布精灵里吗？
Sweetie, you're gonna be fine.
甜心，你会没事的。
Wait wait where're you going? Where're you going? I'm going to the bathroom.
你要去哪里？ 我得上洗手间。
Now, don't worry. Everything's gonna be okay.
别担心，一切都会没事的。
It is gonna be okay! Worth a shot.
确实会没事的！这值得一试。
Hey! Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
嗨。 嗨。你干嘛满脸通红全身是汗？
I just Bamboozled Chandler!
我刚刚干掉了钱德勒！
Which is not a sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
我对他没有不轨行为。欢迎会这么快就结束了。
Not if you were here.
那是因为你没参加。
Wow! Looks like we got a lot of good stuff.
看来我们收到不少礼物。
Oh we did, but my mom got us the greatest gift of all.
没错，我妈给了我们最棒的礼物。
A Play Doh Barbershop?
培乐多理发师玩具组？
No. She's going to live with us for eight weeks.
不是，她要搬过来跟我们住八星期。
What?
什么？
Yes! She's gonna help us take care of the baby!
对，她要帮我们照顾宝宝！
What You're not serious. I mean she's a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her.
你不是认真的吧！她是个好人，但我们无法忍受她八个星期。
She'll drive us totally crazy. Hi, Ross!
她会把我们逼疯。 嗨，罗斯。
Hey, roomie!
嘿，室友！
Hey, Joey, hi! I'm Ray. I'm the producer of the show.
乔伊，我是雷，本节日的制作人。
It's a pleasure to meet you, Ray.
很荣幸能见到你，雷。
And this is Duncan and Erin, they're gonna help us outwith the audition. So uh, let's get the camera rolling.
他们是唐肯跟艾玲，他们会帮你试镜。现在开拍吧。
Righty O Ray! Whenever you're ready.
好的，雷。 你准备好了就开始。
Hello. I'm Joey Tribbiani. Let's play Bamboozled!
大家好，我是乔伊·崔比安尼。我们来玩晕头转向吧！
Erin, you get the first question. In hockey, who is known as "The Great One"?
艾玲，你先来作答。在曲棍球史上，谁被称为是"伟人"？
Gretzky. Correct!
葛瑞斯基。 答对了！
Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango Card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
你要挑魔法机会卡还是旋转处罚轮？
Uh Joey, didn't your agents give you the revised rules? We've eliminated all that. No wheel, no cards.
你的经纪人没把改过的游戏规则给你吗？我们把那些东西都删掉了。没有轮子或机会卡。
What-Why? !
什么？为什么？
Uh, well, the game was too complicated and research showed people didn't follow it.
之前的游戏太复杂了，调查显示观众无法理解。
Well what's complicated?
哪里复杂了？
You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! You're in Paradise Pond!
转处罚轮，上机会梯穿越彩虹环，经过泥屋找到金猴。拉它的尾巴就能到天堂池！
Yeah all that's gone. Um, it's basically just a simple question and answer game now.
对，那些都删掉了。现在这只是个简单的问答游戏。
Well, what's fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game that's just people standing around answering questions?
那有什么好玩的呢？你要我主持这个无聊的游戏，就只是几个人站在那里傻傻地回答问题？
Well, there'll be women in bikinis holding up the scores.
会有比基尼女郎举得分板。
Let's play Bamboozled!
我们来玩晕头转向吧！
And all those dinosaur knick knacks you have, Ross, I I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
你买的那些恐龙小玩意，罗斯我觉得还是放在车库里比较合适。
Well we...we don't have a garage.
我们没有车库。
Did I say garage? I meant garbage.
我说车库吗？我是说垃圾桶。
You know what, Mrs. Green? Maybe it's not absolutely vital that you live with us.
你知道吗，格林太太？你不一定要跟我们住在一起。
What Rachel needs help with the baby.
瑞秋需要人帮忙带孩子。
I do. I really do. I don't know anything.
真的，我什么都不会。
Oh, I'm I'm sure that's not true.
我相信那不是真的。
Oh, no? Pheebs, Monica, do I know anything about babies?
是吗，菲比，莫妮卡，我会带孩子吗？
No. Not a thing. It's frightening.
啥都不会。 令人发指。
Well uh, you know what? Even if she doesn't know anything, I do.
就算她不会，但是我会。
I have a son. And his mother and I didn't live together. When he was with me, I took care of him all the time, by myself.
我有个儿子，他妈妈跟我没有住在一起。他跟我一起住时，我都是自己照顾他。
That's true. You do have another child. Yeah.
没错，你还有一个孩子。 对。
With another woman. Have you no control, Ross?
跟另一个女人生的。你没有自制力吗，罗斯？
That's a different issue.
那是另一个问题。
The point is, when the baby comes, I will be there to...to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that, I want to do all those things.
重点是宝宝出生后，我会帮忙喂她吃饭，帮她洗澡，换尿布。更重要的是，我愿意照顾她。
Well then you really don't need me to live with you. Yes!
那你们真的不需要我搬过去。 对！
Yes. You're gonna be so missed.
对。我会想念你的。
You're gonna be a great father. Well you're gonna be a wonderful grandma.
你会是个好爸爸。 你会是个好外婆。
Hello? I still don't know what the hell I'm doing!
喂？我还是不知道我该做什么！
Come on, every first time mother feels that way. You'll you you're gonna pick it up.
新手妈妈都会有那种感觉。你可以慢慢学。
Hey! You will! Uh look, you know when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who who still used daddy's credit card. Do you remember?
你可以的。看，你刚到纽约来的时候你是个被宠坏的无助小女孩，只会用爸爸的信用卡，记得吗？
I hope you're going somewhere with this.
我希望你下面的话有点建设性。
Look at you! What You're you're this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I I have no doubt you're gonna be an incredible mother.
看看你，你现在是个大主管了。你比自己想象中能干多了。我相信你会是个好妈妈。
Really? I'm telling you.
真的吗？ 没错。
Thank you.
谢谢。
All right, you two. I'm gonna get going.
好吧，我得走了。
Oh no no no no sweetheart, you stay put. I'll let myself out. It's like I'm not here, which I almost wasn't.
不，亲爱的，别送了。我自己出去。就当我没来过，我差点真的来不了。
You're still so funny. You're so funny. What do I do?
你真的太幽默了。我到底该怎么办？
Nothing. You have apologized to her, like, a million times. And she's been nothing but terrible to you.
没什么，你跟她道过很多次歉了。结果她对你的态度还是一样恶劣。
And don't forget, you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower. And she hasn't even thanked you for it.
别忘了，你刚刚帮她女儿办了个稍显无聊的温馨欢迎会。她甚至都没有谢谢你。
You know what? You're you're right.
你说得对。
Yeah I mean if you wanna say anything to her, I'd tell her off.
你有什么话想跟她说，直说无妨。
Really?
真的吗？
Okay, I will. Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green?
好吧，我会的。格林太太？格林太太？
It is rude to leave a party without saying goodbye to the host. Yeah, and and also, when someone apologizes to you, the decent thing to do is to accept it.
不跟主人道别就离开派对是很无礼的。如果有人跟你道歉，得体的做法是接受道歉。
'Cause what I did to you, it wasn't on purpose! But what you're during to me now, it's just plain spiteful!
我对你的所作所为并非故意！但你对我的态度太恶毒了。
Spiteful? That's right.
恶毒？ 没错。
Maybe it's time you took a good, hard look in the mirror, young lady! Old lady! Lady!
你该好好去照镜子了，小姑娘！老太婆！女士！
Wrap it up. Wrap it up. Wrap it up.
别说了。
So whenever you're ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day.
只要你准备好跟我道歉，我会原谅你的。再见。
I can't feel my legs!
我的腿没有感觉了！
You were fantastic! I'm so proud of you.
你真的太棒了！我以你为荣。
Yeah? I'm proud of me too. You should be.
是吗？我也以自己为荣。 你应该的。
Yeah could could could you get me something to drink? You got it!
你能帮我拿杯饮料吗？ 没问题！
Mrs. Green! Ok I'm really sorry! I'm apologizing for the Ok, I bit my tongue, but I'm still really sorry!
格林太太，我真的很抱歉！对不起。如果你……好吧，我咬到舌头了！但我真的很抱歉！
Okay, I'm ready. You sure?
好吧，我准备好了。 你确定？
Yes. I've done my studying, and I really know my stuff.
对。我看过书，把一切都搞清楚了。
All right, then. Rachel Green, let's play Bamboozled!
好吧。瑞秋·格林，我们来玩晕头转向！
How do you test the temperature of the baby's bath water?
你该如何测试宝宝洗澡水的温度？
Uh, put your elbow in it. Excellent! How do you put a baby down for a nap?
用手肘去试。 非常好！如何哄宝宝小睡？
Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers.
喂饱她，换尿布，仰卧，被子盖紧。
That's correct! This is an audio question. What do you do when a baby makes this sound?
答对了！这题是声音题。宝宝发出这种声音时你该怎么办？
Check if it's wet, check if it's hungry, burp it!
检查她是尿湿或饿了，帮她拍背！
Excellent! Excellent! Now do you want another question or a Wicked Wango Card?
太棒了！你要再回答一题或抽魔法机会卡？
A card! A card! I pick a card! Oh, I'm sorry.
我要抽卡！ 对不起。
You've been Bamboozled! You're gonna be a terrible mother!
你出局了！你会是个糟糕的妈妈！
I've lost sight of why we're doing this!
我忘记我们这么做的初衷是什么了！