Hey! What're you guys looking at?
你们在看什么？
It's a poster for that WWI movie I'm in. Check it out.
是我演的一战电影的海报。你看。
Yeah? Wow! It looks really violent!
看起来很暴力嘛！
Uh huh! I know. I'm coming soon to a theater near you! I'm in THX! I'm unsuitable for children!
我知道。我即将在各大戏院露面。我经过THX认证，不适宜儿童观看。
Now I cannot wait to see this.
我等不及要看这部电影了。
Yeah, yeah. It's generating Oscar buzz.
已经有传闻说它能拿奥斯卡了。
I started that! I thought I did!
是我先说的！ 我还以为是我！
Oh hey, guess what? I just talked to my agent and the premiere is next week and you're all invited!
我刚刚跟经纪人谈过，下星期有首映会，你们通通被邀请了！
Are we gonna take a limo? Sure! Why not?
我们要坐加长豪华轿车吗？ 当然！
I love taking limos when nobody died.
不去参加葬礼还能坐加长车，简直太棒了。
Well obviously I won't be able to come, for those of you who haven't checked their calendars, today is my due date.
我显然没办法去了。那些还没查过日历的人听好了，今天是我的预产期。
You know, I just wanna take a moment and thank you guys for how great you've been during this time.
我想借这个机会谢谢大家在我怀孕期间一直这么照顾我。
I really couldn't have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months!
没有你们我绝对办不到。过去的九个月我很开心。
And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
虽说我很期待进入下一阶段，但我会很怀念怀孕的这段时光。
That's right. Still no baby.
没错，我还是没生。
Come on, people, make some room.
拜托，给我腾点地方坐。
Sweetie, maybe you'd be more comfortable here.
亲爱的，或许你坐在这里会比较舒服。
You. Like you haven't done enough.
你。你对我做的孽还不够多吗。
Look, I I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse.
我知道你现在很痛苦。我真的希望能帮上忙。我希望自己是海马。
Because with seahorses it's the male, they they carry the babies. And then also umm, I'd be far away in the sea.
因为是公海马负责孵育小宝宝。而且我还会生活在海里，离你远远的。
God. I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life.
天啊。我这辈子从来没有这么难受过。
Oh I know, I've been there. I remember toward the end...
我了解，我也有过这种经历。我记得最后……
Oh Phoebe, that's a great story. Could you tell it to me when you're getting me some ice tea?
菲比，你的故事很精彩。能不能帮我拿杯冰茶来再说？
Oh, God, get out! Get out, get out, get out!
天啊，滚出来！滚出来！滚出来！
Let's.
咱们滚吧。
Hey, did you have the baby yet?
你生完宝宝了吗？
Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Because I'll do it.
你想让我过去坐在你身上吗？我真做得出来。
What are you doing here so early?
你怎么这么早就回来了？
They sent me home from work. They were like, "Start your maternity leave now! Just rest, get ready for the baby."
公司要我回家。他们让我从现在就开始休产假，回家休息为宝宝出生做好准备。去他们的！
Well you know what? Screw 'em! They don't want me there, I'll just hang out with you guys.
如果他们不要我待在公司，我就跟你们待在一起。
Or you could do volunteer work.
或许你可以去做义工。
Hello? Joey, it's Estelle.
喂？ 乔伊，我是艾丝特尔。
Great news. I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
好消息。我帮搞你到了首映会的门票，你可以带一位朋友出席。
One guess? You told me I could have six tickets.
一位朋友？你之前说我可以拿到六张票。
Well, I sold four of them on eBay. You'll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
我把其中四张拿去易趣网拍卖了。你会坐在"帅哥372"旁边。
Oh, my god. So that's it? I only get to bring one guest?
天啊，难道我就只能带一个朋友去吗？
Yeah. What time you wanna pick me up? Hello?
对。你什么时候来接我？喂？
You hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So somehow I have to pick between you three and Ross.
你们听到了吗？我只能带一个朋友参加首映会。所以我得在你们三个跟罗斯之间做选择。
What what about me? You said you didn't wanna go.
我呢？ 你说过你不想去。
I don't. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because I'm pregnant I'm invisible?
没错，但我还是希望有被重视的感觉。难道我怀孕了就变成隐形人了吗？
Definitely not invisible.
你绝不是隐形人。
Well, you know, Ross didn't care enough to be here, so I think he's out. You know you snooze you lose.
罗斯根本不在这里，所以他出局了。你打磕睡，你就输了。
He's not snoozing. He's teaching a class.
他没有打磕睡，他在教书。
Well, then somebody's snoozing.
那么一定有人在打磕睡。
And and uh, Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here.
乔伊，不要因为我的话影响你的选择。但如果你选了我，我打算穿露到这里的紧身连衣裙。
I haven't seen this dress.
我还没有看过这套连衣裙。
Star in a movie.
穿上绝对有影星风范。
Joey, you pick who ever you want. Ok? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? Phoebe, Phoebe.
乔伊，你想挑谁都可以。听从你内心的声音。它跟你说了什么？菲比，菲比，菲比……
Well...I think I wanna take Chandler.
这个嘛……我想我要挑钱德勒。
Phoebe Phoebe Phoebe Phoebe Burrrrr!
菲比，菲比，菲比……
You really wanna take me?
你想带我去吗？
Yeah! Yeah! I mean I'm sorry, I wish I could take everybody, but, you know, Chandler's always supported my career. He's paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this'll be my way of paying you back.
对，我希望能带大家一起去。但钱德勒一直都很支持我的工作。他帮我付表演课跟大头照等等的费用。这就是我回报你的方式。
So you're never actually going to pay me back?
所以你不打算还我钱了吗？
Ok, just because he paid for your head shots you're gonna take him? Joey, I don't think you're comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
只因为他帮你付大头照的钱，你就要选他？你大概还没搞明白那件连衣裙有多露。
It's not just the stuff he paid for, I mean it's it's , it's everything. You know?
不仅是因为他帮我付了钱。他真的很支持我，你们知道吗？
He, he read lines with me. He he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and and then he consoled me after I didn't get parts that I really wanted.
他跟我对台词。我紧张的时候，他陪我去试镜。我没拿到我想要的角色时，他会安慰我。
You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didn't believe in myself.
你一直很相信我，即使连我都不相信自己。
I always knew you were gonna make it. I'm so proud of you.
我一直都知道你会成功。我非常以你为荣。
Thanks. That, that means a lot to me.
谢谢，那对我来说很重要。
Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.
莫妮卡，或许他们之中有人想穿你的连衣裙。
I'm gonna go shave.
我得去刮胡子。
Yeah, well, I'm gonna go spit.
对，我得去吐痰了。
Oh, I have to pee. If I don't come out in five minutes it's just because I've choked to death on the potpourri stink.
我得去尿尿了。如果五分钟后我还没出来，那肯定是因为我被百花香味给熏死了。
When she comes out, you hold her nose, I'll blow in her mouth and the kid'll just right out of her.
等她出来以后，你捏住她的鼻子，我对她的嘴巴吹气，宝宝就会掉出来。
She's over a week late. She's got to have it today, right?
她都晚了一周了，今天她一定会生，对吧？
I don't know. I I think it's still gonna be a while.
我不知道，我觉得应该还要一阵子。
Care to make it interesting? I'll bet you that she'll have it by this time tomorrow.
你想加点刺♥激吗？我跟你打赌，她明天这个时候就会生。
You're on.
没问题。
Okay, how much? One hundred thousand dollars.
好吧，赌多少？ 我跟你赌十万块。
How about 50 bucks?
50块如何？
Fine, I'll call Zurich and move some money around.
好吧，我会打电话让苏黎世银行汇点钱过来。
All right, whose turn is it to help me get up?
好了，这次轮到谁来扶我起来了？
No one's here. Oh, damn it!
家里没人。该死！
This is so exciting! It's so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
这简直是太刺♥激，太迷人了！好多人帮我们拍照，我看起来如何？
A little tall. What?
太高了一点。 什么？
Hey would you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? There you go.
你能不能蹲低一点，让我看起来高一点？很好。
It's just so glamorous.
简直太刺♥激了。
Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, and you're still pregnant. Oh, I'm sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. You know what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks.
莫妮卡，瑞秋来了。你还没生。真对不起，我知道你很不舒服。你知道吗，你看起来棒极了。就跟50块钞票一样。
Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy.
我得去尿尿。很明显，这个宝宝把我的膀腕当成玩具捏。
Damn it. Damn it! Here's your fifty bucks!
该死！50块拿去。
That's interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?All right, stop it.
你竟然会输，这真是太有趣了。我记不得了，你喜欢输吗？好吧，别说了。
Double or nothing she has it by tomorrow. Fine, you're on. Ok.
我们加倍赌她明天会生。 好，跟你赌。 好的。
Until then, General Grant, why don't you set up camp...right there?
在那之前，葛兰特将军你就在这里安心扎营吧。
Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctor's appointment.
瑞秋在这里吗？我们得去看医生。
She's in the bathroom.
她在厕所里。
Rach, we gotta go. In a minute!
瑞秋，我们得走了。 马上好！
People ask me why we're not together. I just don't know what to tell them.
大家问我们为什么没在一起。我都不知道该怎么告诉他们。
All right, all right, let's go.
好了好了，我们走吧。
Uh, you you wanna go change first? The doctor's keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry...
你要不要先去换衣服医生会等我们，但如果你快一点的话……
No, I'm fine.
不用，我这样很好。
Really? You don't think that's a little inappropriate.
你不觉穿这套衣服有点不合适吗？
What? Good God, man. Don't anger it.
什么？ 天啊，别火上浇油了。
Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
罗斯，现在外面有38度高温。这是好几个星期以来我第一次觉得舒服点。
Fine! You know what? Whatever you want. Ok? You're the mommy.
好吧，随便你。你是妈咪。
Oh uh uh pal! Don't call me mommy! It's bad enough you call your own mother that.
可别叫我"妈眯"。你那么称呼你妈就已经够受了。
I'm actually with her on this one.
这一次我同意她的说法。
I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along.
我还以为自己知道敌人是谁，但敌人却是你。
Okay, this is it. This is my big fight scene coming up.
好了，我的打斗戏要开始了。
I'm fighting for every man in the 82nd Ground Division.
我要为第82地面师的每位弟兄奋战。
Ross? Can I ask you something?
罗斯？我能问你一件事吗？
When Carol was pregnant with Ben, were you this irritating? Wow!
卡罗尔怀本的时候，你有这么暴躁吗？ 喔！
Excuse me? Oh nothing. Nothing! You just uh, you've been a little short with me lately. I'm not trying to irritate you.
你说什么？ 没事，你只是……你最近对我很不耐烦。我无意惹毛你。
Well, then, you must have a natural talent for it.
那么你一定是有惹毛我的天份。
You know what? The doctor will be in soon. Why don't we not speak until then?
医生马上就要过来了。我们在那之前还是别说话了吧？
Okay. Seriously. Breathe louder, Ross. That's great.
好吧。呼吸声再大一点，罗斯，感觉真好。
You know we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human half pure evil!
我们应该问医生她知不知道怎么接生半人半魔的孩子！
Hi, Dr. Long. How are you?
朗医生，你好吗？
Oh, you're nice to her.
你对她倒很好。
She has the drugs.
她手上有药。
We'll do a quick check. Okay.
我帮你快速检查一下。 好的。
So eight days late, huh? Yeah.
已经迟了八天吗？ 对。
You must be getting a little uncomfortable.
你一定觉得很不舒服。
Yeah, just a tad.
对，只有一点。
You're about 80% effaced. So you're on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If you're anxious, there are a few ways to help things along.
宫口已经扩张了八成，就快了。但你可能还得等上一阵子。如果你很着急，有些方法可以促产。
Do them!
那就赶紧的吧！
Actually, they're things that you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience I've found that some of them are very effective.
事实上你们可以自助。在家里做治疗。根据我的经验，我发现有些方法很有效。
Well, we are ready to try anything.
我们愿意尝试任何方法。
Okay. There's an herbal tea you can drink.
好的，你可以喝一种药草茶。
You can take some castor oil. There's eating spicy foods.
你可以喝蓖麻子油，吃辣的食物。
Great. We will do all of those.
我们全都愿意尝试。
Taking a long walk. Good. Done.
长时间散步。 很好，没问题。
And there's the one that's proved most effective: Sex.
据证实，最有效的方法就是做♥爱。
You've got to be kidding me!
你一定是在开玩笑！
Good job, Joe! Well done! Top notch!
演得好，乔伊！太棒了！超一流！
You liked it? You really liked it? Oh, yeah!
你真的喜欢吗？ 当然喜欢！
Well, which part exactly?
你具体喜欢哪个部份？
The whole thing! Can we go?
整部电影！我们走吧？
Oh no no no, hold give give me some specifics.
不，说具体一点。
I loved the specifics. The specifics were the best part.
我就喜欢具体细节，细节处理得最棒了。
Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did did you like that part?
有袋鼠出场的那场戏呢？你喜欢吗？
I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
看到一战的电影里出现袋鼠我吓了一大跳。
You fell asleep! There was no kangaroo! They didn't take any of my suggestions! Thanks a lot for coming buddy. See you later.
你睡着了！电影里面根本没有袋鼠！我的建议他们一条都没采纳！谢谢你来捧场，回头见。
Don't go. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
别走。我很抱歉。
Look, this guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! Or call an ambulance!
看，这家伙睡着了！他也睡着了！生他的气啊！或是叫救护车来！
Hey! Hey. Hi!
嗨。 嗨。 嗨。
What did the doctor say? Any news on when the baby will come?
医生说什么？知道宝宝何时会出生吗？
No. But she did give us some ideas on how to induce labor.
不知道。她教了我们一些促产的方法。
Yeah, we tried them all. We went for a walk, uh we tried a special tea, caster oil, spicy food, nothing has worked.
我们都试过了。我们去散了步，喝了茶，吃蓖麻子油跟辣的食物，全都没用。
Well, there is one thing that we didn't try, but someone thinks that, "That will open up a can of worms."
有个方法我们没试。但某人觉得那会惹来大♥麻烦。
What is it? What is it? If it's gonna help bring the baby here, today...I mean, I think you should do it.
什么方法？如果有办法让宝宝今天就出生，我觉得你们应该试试看。
It's sex. Do it!
我们得做♥爱。 那就做啊！
Monica! I'm just saying it's been a really long time for you.
莫妮卡！ 你们很久没做♥爱了。
I mean, women have needs. Do it. Get yours.
我是说女人也有需要。快去吧，满足你的需要。
Oh I I I don't know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the the the repercussions would be catastrophic.
这种事我可说不好。我觉得如果你们两个做了爱，那浮动诊胎法一定会出大问题。
All right, let's be practical. If Ross isn't willing to do it, he's not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. I mean, You could borrow Chandler Chandler is good!
好吧，我们实际一点。如果罗斯不愿意，这世上不只有他能跟你做♥爱。你可以借用钱德勒，钱德勒很厉害。
Monica, what is the matter with you?
莫妮卡 你这是怎么了
Nothing. I just want the baby to be born today.
没什么，我只是希望宝宝能在今天出生。
Why? Why today?
为什么一定要是今天？
Ok fine! I keep betting Phoebe that you're gonna have the baby and, I don't wanna lose again!
好吧。我一直在跟菲比打赌你会生，我不想再输钱了。
What? ! While she's been going through this hell, you've been making money? ! You're betting on your friend staying in this misery? !
什么？她这么痛苦你们却在赌钱？你们拿朋友持续经受痛苦来当赌注？
I'll take that bet. What?
我也要赌。 什么？
Well, I'm miserable here! I may as well make some money out of it!
我已经够惨了，还不如找点钱赚。
Can I get some of that action?
我也可以加入吗？
Wait a minute. I'm betting against all of you?
等等，现在变成我跟你们三个对赌？
Oh honey, don't worry. I really do feel like tomorrow it's gonna happen.
别担心，我真的觉得明天就要生了。
Oh, ok!
好吧。
Hey, Sleeping Beauty.
嘿，睡美人。
Where have you been? ! I tried to call you! I wanna talk to you! I still feel so bad!
你跑到哪里去了？打电话都不接。我想跟你谈谈，我还是觉得很过意不去。
Oh, no. Were you upset? Did you lose sleep?
不是吧，你不开心了吗？睡不着觉了吗？
I'm so sorry.
我很抱歉。
Uh huh look, the only reason I came over here was to settle things between us!
我之所以过来解决我们之间的问题。
Ok? You've done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back by taking you to the premiere but you missed it!
是因为你帮了我很多忙。我想请你去看首映会来报答你，但你却睡着了。
Ok, so how much do I owe you? What?
我欠你多少钱？ 什么？
Give me a number. I don't wanna owe you anything.
给我个数字，我不想欠你。
You don't owe me anything.
你什么都不欠我。
I don't want your... Ah ah ah! We're doing this!
我不要你的…… 说还就还！
Ok, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
你帮我付第一次大头照的费用多少钱？
I don't know, $500.
我不知道，五百块。
Okay, $500. What else?
好吧，五百块。还有呢？
Well then there was the second set, the infamous booger head shots.
还有第二组大头照。恶评如潮的"鼻涕虫"大头照。
Okay, so that's another $500. That's 500 and 500. That's...
好吧，再加五百块。五百加五百是……
You want a calculator? Please.
你需要计算器吗？ 谢谢。
Here.
拿去。
All right, what else?
好吧，还有呢？
Well, there was acting classes, stage combat classes, tap classes...
还有表演课、舞台打斗课、踢踏舞课……
Which we're still keeping under our hats.
这些天知地知你知我知就好。
Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
我还付钱请教练教你说南方腔。上了20小时的课后，你还是满口牙买加腔。
What the hell are you talking about? The South will rise again, man.
你在胡说什么？"南方将会再起，兄弟"。
Yes, money well spent.
对，那笔钱花得很值得。
Okay, what else? Rent.
好吧，还有呢？房租。
Okay. Two, three years of rent, utilities, food...
两三年的房租、水电费、伙食费……
Ok. Ok, so I'm writing you a check for...
好吧，我写张支票给你……
So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal, right? How do you clear this thing?
你不就是看我电影的时候睡着了嘛。没什么大不了的，对吧？这玩意要怎么清除
Come on. Finish your enchilada.
把你的墨西哥卷吃掉。
Ross I We tried all the spicy food. It's not working.
罗斯，我们试过所有的辛辣食品，根本没用。
Okay, here, have one of these peppers.
好吧，拿去，吃根辣椒。
Oh oh ha...Oh God! So...so hot! Oh my By the way, you don't wanna touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
天啊。好辣。我的天啊。对了，拿过辣椒之后别用手摸眼睛。
I am feeling nothing.
我什么感觉都没有。
Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
说到辣，看到你现在的样子让我很想跟你做♥爱。
Stop it.
别闹了。
Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with all this other stuff? ! We know what's gonna work! It's doctor recommended!
来嘛，罗斯！我们为什么要浪费时间？明知道这招很管用。这是医生的建议。
I'm sorry. But we have to have some boundaries. My God, I'm dying.
抱歉，但我们总该有点分寸。天啊，我快辣死了。
Oh come on, Ross, I mean we've done it before we'll do it again, it'll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.
来嘛，罗斯。我们以前都做过，再做一次又怎样。这也算是给我的怀孕期画上圆满句号了。
This is insane, I'm not gonna make love to you just so you'll go into labor.
这太疯狂了。我不会因为要让你生孩子就跟你做♥爱。
Make love? What are you, a girl?
做♥爱？你是娘娘腔吗？
Always a great way to get into a man's pants.
想让男人脱裤子，说这种话最管用了。
But you will, you will be performing a service. Ok? Just just think of me as a ketchup bottle, you know you you sometimes have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
你就当是在提供服务，把我当成一罐番茄酱。有时候你得敲敲瓶底才能把番茄酱倒出来。
I love when you talk dirty to me.
我喜欢你满嘴淫话的样子。
Oh, I know it. You're right. That's not sexy. Oh...Oh! Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bend over and get it.
我知道。你说得对。那样一点都不性感。我把叉子给掉了。我得弯下腰去捡。
Oh, God!
天啊！
Ok, enough! This is, this is not going to happen.
好吧，够了。我是不会跟你做的。
Oh come on Ross! I'm miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
来吧，罗斯，我真的很难受。来吧，这是你惹出来的事，你得负责到底来吧，懦夫，跟我做♥爱吧。
You know what? What?
你知道吗？ 什么？
Forget it.
算了。
Oh, wow! What now Ross you're not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me?
怎么了？罗斯，你不想谈吗？你到底要惹我惹到什么时候？
Oh, wait a minute, I know.
等一下，我知道了。
I mean you'd think the damn jalepeno would've cleared up your sinuses, but no! That's not enough...What are you doing?
你以为吃点辣椒就能治好你的鼻窦炎吗？才不会呢那可不够……你在干什么？
I'm getting that baby out of you!
我要让你把宝宝生出来！
Oh, God! I know.
天啊！ 我知道。
Oh, no, no, no. I think my water just broke.
不。我觉得我的羊水破了。
I am good. Ok! Ok! Uh, I I got the pillow! Uh I got the bag!
我太厉害了！好吧，我拿了枕头还有包包。
You got the keys? I got the keys.
你拿了钥匙吗？ 我拿了。
We're having a baby.
我们的宝宝要出生了。
I didn't uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think do you think we have time...
我还来不及看书上的这个章节，但你觉得我们还有时间……
Not so much. Okay.
来不及了。 好吧。
200. Thank you.
200。 谢谢。
That's it. I'm done. I don't care when the baby comes. No more betting.
就这样吧，我不在乎宝宝何时出生。我不想再赌了。
Okay.
好吧。
Hello? Uh huh. Uh huh. Ok. I guess we can bet one more time.
喂？好。我们再赌一次也无妨。
Is Rachel having the baby? How did you know that?
瑞秋要生了吗？ 你怎么知道？
Joey! Chandler! It's time.
乔伊！钱德勒！时间到了。
They're at the coffee house.
他们在咖啡厅。
You know everything!
你什么都知道！
Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds.
等一下，我跟你赌宝宝超过七磅重。
I bet you it has hair! I bet you it's a girl.
我跟你赌宝宝有头发，我跟你赌是女儿。
We know it's a girl.
我们知道她要生女儿。
I'll give you really good odds.
我给你很高的赔率。