Hey! What're you guys looking at?
It's a poster for that WWI movie I'm in. Check it out.
Yeah? Wow! It looks really violent!
Uh huh! I know. I'm coming soon to a theater near you! I'm in THX! I'm unsuitable for children!
Now I cannot wait to see this.
Yeah, yeah. It's generating Oscar buzz.
I started that! I thought I did!
Oh hey, guess what? I just talked to my agent and the premiere is next week and you're all invited!
Are we gonna take a limo? Sure! Why not?
I love taking limos when nobody died.
Well obviously I won't be able to come, for those of you who haven't checked their calendars, today is my due date.
You know, I just wanna take a moment and thank you guys for how great you've been during this time.
I really couldn't have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months!
And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
That's right. Still no baby.
Come on, people, make some room.
Sweetie, maybe you'd be more comfortable here.
You. Like you haven't done enough.
Look, I I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse.
Because with seahorses it's the male, they they carry the babies. And then also umm, I'd be far away in the sea.
God. I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life.
Oh I know, I've been there. I remember toward the end...
Oh Phoebe, that's a great story. Could you tell it to me when you're getting me some ice tea?
Oh, God, get out! Get out, get out, get out!
Hey, did you have the baby yet?
Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Because I'll do it.
What are you doing here so early?
They sent me home from work. They were like, "Start your maternity leave now! Just rest, get ready for the baby."
Well you know what? Screw 'em! They don't want me there, I'll just hang out with you guys.
Or you could do volunteer work.
Hello? Joey, it's Estelle.
Great news. I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
One guess? You told me I could have six tickets.
Well, I sold four of them on eBay. You'll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Oh, my god. So that's it? I only get to bring one guest?
Yeah. What time you wanna pick me up? Hello?
You hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So somehow I have to pick between you three and Ross.
What what about me? You said you didn't wanna go.
I don't. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because I'm pregnant I'm invisible?
Definitely not invisible.
Well, you know, Ross didn't care enough to be here, so I think he's out. You know you snooze you lose.
He's not snoozing. He's teaching a class.
Well, then somebody's snoozing.
And and uh, Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here.
I haven't seen this dress.
Star in a movie.
Joey, you pick who ever you want. Ok? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? Phoebe, Phoebe.
Well...I think I wanna take Chandler.
Phoebe Phoebe Phoebe Phoebe Burrrrr!
You really wanna take me?
Yeah! Yeah! I mean I'm sorry, I wish I could take everybody, but, you know, Chandler's always supported my career. He's paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this'll be my way of paying you back.
So you're never actually going to pay me back?
Ok, just because he paid for your head shots you're gonna take him? Joey, I don't think you're comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
It's not just the stuff he paid for, I mean it's it's , it's everything. You know?
He, he read lines with me. He he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and and then he consoled me after I didn't get parts that I really wanted.
You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didn't believe in myself.
I always knew you were gonna make it. I'm so proud of you.
Thanks. That, that means a lot to me.
Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.
I'm gonna go shave.
Yeah, well, I'm gonna go spit.
Oh, I have to pee. If I don't come out in five minutes it's just because I've choked to death on the potpourri stink.
When she comes out, you hold her nose, I'll blow in her mouth and the kid'll just right out of her.
She's over a week late. She's got to have it today, right?
I don't know. I I think it's still gonna be a while.
Care to make it interesting? I'll bet you that she'll have it by this time tomorrow.
Okay, how much? One hundred thousand dollars.
How about 50 bucks?
Fine, I'll call Zurich and move some money around.
All right, whose turn is it to help me get up?
No one's here. Oh, damn it!
This is so exciting! It's so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
A little tall. What?
Hey would you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? There you go.
It's just so glamorous.
Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, and you're still pregnant. Oh, I'm sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. You know what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks.
Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy.
Damn it. Damn it! Here's your fifty bucks!
That's interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?All right, stop it.
Double or nothing she has it by tomorrow. Fine, you're on. Ok.
我们加倍赌她明天会生。 好，跟你赌。 好的。
Until then, General Grant, why don't you set up camp...right there?
Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctor's appointment.
She's in the bathroom.
Rach, we gotta go. In a minute!
People ask me why we're not together. I just don't know what to tell them.
All right, all right, let's go.
Uh, you you wanna go change first? The doctor's keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry...
No, I'm fine.
Really? You don't think that's a little inappropriate.
What? Good God, man. Don't anger it.
Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Fine! You know what? Whatever you want. Ok? You're the mommy.
Oh uh uh pal! Don't call me mommy! It's bad enough you call your own mother that.
I'm actually with her on this one.
I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along.
Okay, this is it. This is my big fight scene coming up.
I'm fighting for every man in the 82nd Ground Division.
Ross? Can I ask you something?
When Carol was pregnant with Ben, were you this irritating? Wow!
Excuse me? Oh nothing. Nothing! You just uh, you've been a little short with me lately. I'm not trying to irritate you.
Well, then, you must have a natural talent for it.
You know what? The doctor will be in soon. Why don't we not speak until then?
Okay. Seriously. Breathe louder, Ross. That's great.
You know we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human half pure evil!
Hi, Dr. Long. How are you?
Oh, you're nice to her.
She has the drugs.
We'll do a quick check. Okay.
So eight days late, huh? Yeah.
You must be getting a little uncomfortable.
Yeah, just a tad.
You're about 80% effaced. So you're on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If you're anxious, there are a few ways to help things along.
Actually, they're things that you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience I've found that some of them are very effective.
Well, we are ready to try anything.
Okay. There's an herbal tea you can drink.
You can take some castor oil. There's eating spicy foods.
Great. We will do all of those.
Taking a long walk. Good. Done.
And there's the one that's proved most effective: Sex.
You've got to be kidding me!
Good job, Joe! Well done! Top notch!
You liked it? You really liked it? Oh, yeah!
Well, which part exactly?
The whole thing! Can we go?
Oh no no no, hold give give me some specifics.
I loved the specifics. The specifics were the best part.
Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did did you like that part?
I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
You fell asleep! There was no kangaroo! They didn't take any of my suggestions! Thanks a lot for coming buddy. See you later.
Don't go. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Look, this guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! Or call an ambulance!
Hey! Hey. Hi!
嗨。 嗨。 嗨。
What did the doctor say? Any news on when the baby will come?
No. But she did give us some ideas on how to induce labor.
Yeah, we tried them all. We went for a walk, uh we tried a special tea, caster oil, spicy food, nothing has worked.
Well, there is one thing that we didn't try, but someone thinks that, "That will open up a can of worms."
What is it? What is it? If it's gonna help bring the baby here, today...I mean, I think you should do it.
It's sex. Do it!
Monica! I'm just saying it's been a really long time for you.
I mean, women have needs. Do it. Get yours.
Oh I I I don't know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the the the repercussions would be catastrophic.
All right, let's be practical. If Ross isn't willing to do it, he's not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. I mean, You could borrow Chandler Chandler is good!
Monica, what is the matter with you?
Nothing. I just want the baby to be born today.
Why? Why today?
Ok fine! I keep betting Phoebe that you're gonna have the baby and, I don't wanna lose again!
What? ! While she's been going through this hell, you've been making money? ! You're betting on your friend staying in this misery? !
I'll take that bet. What?
Well, I'm miserable here! I may as well make some money out of it!
Can I get some of that action?
Wait a minute. I'm betting against all of you?
Oh honey, don't worry. I really do feel like tomorrow it's gonna happen.
Hey, Sleeping Beauty.
Where have you been? ! I tried to call you! I wanna talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Oh, no. Were you upset? Did you lose sleep?
I'm so sorry.
Uh huh look, the only reason I came over here was to settle things between us!
Ok? You've done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back by taking you to the premiere but you missed it!
Ok, so how much do I owe you? What?
Give me a number. I don't wanna owe you anything.
You don't owe me anything.
I don't want your... Ah ah ah! We're doing this!
Ok, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
I don't know, $500.
Okay, $500. What else?
Well then there was the second set, the infamous booger head shots.
Okay, so that's another $500. That's 500 and 500. That's...
You want a calculator? Please.
All right, what else?
Well, there was acting classes, stage combat classes, tap classes...
Which we're still keeping under our hats.
Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
What the hell are you talking about? The South will rise again, man.
Yes, money well spent.
Okay, what else? Rent.
Okay. Two, three years of rent, utilities, food...
Ok. Ok, so I'm writing you a check for...
So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal, right? How do you clear this thing?
Come on. Finish your enchilada.
Ross I We tried all the spicy food. It's not working.
Okay, here, have one of these peppers.
Oh oh ha...Oh God! So...so hot! Oh my By the way, you don't wanna touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
I am feeling nothing.
Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with all this other stuff? ! We know what's gonna work! It's doctor recommended!
I'm sorry. But we have to have some boundaries. My God, I'm dying.
Oh come on, Ross, I mean we've done it before we'll do it again, it'll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.
This is insane, I'm not gonna make love to you just so you'll go into labor.
Make love? What are you, a girl?
Always a great way to get into a man's pants.
But you will, you will be performing a service. Ok? Just just think of me as a ketchup bottle, you know you you sometimes have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
I love when you talk dirty to me.
Oh, I know it. You're right. That's not sexy. Oh...Oh! Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bend over and get it.
Ok, enough! This is, this is not going to happen.
Oh come on Ross! I'm miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
You know what? What?
Oh, wow! What now Ross you're not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me?
Oh, wait a minute, I know.
I mean you'd think the damn jalepeno would've cleared up your sinuses, but no! That's not enough...What are you doing?
I'm getting that baby out of you!
Oh, God! I know.
Oh, no, no, no. I think my water just broke.
I am good. Ok! Ok! Uh, I I got the pillow! Uh I got the bag!
You got the keys? I got the keys.
We're having a baby.
I didn't uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think do you think we have time...
Not so much. Okay.
200. Thank you.
That's it. I'm done. I don't care when the baby comes. No more betting.
Hello? Uh huh. Uh huh. Ok. I guess we can bet one more time.
Is Rachel having the baby? How did you know that?
Joey! Chandler! It's time.
They're at the coffee house.
You know everything!
Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds.
I bet you it has hair! I bet you it's a girl.
We know it's a girl.
I'll give you really good odds.
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