Should we tell Rachel there's an empty private room right next door to hers?
我们该告诉瑞秋她隔壁就有一间单人待产室吗？
We could. Or we can have sex in it.
可以啊，或者我们可以在这里做♥爱。
Well, let me think about that while I remove my pants!
让我边脱裤子边想吧！
Okay, mister! Fertilize me!
好了，先生！为我播种吧！
Does that sound like Janice?
那是珍妮丝的声音吗？
If it's not, then there's two of them. And that would mean it's the end of the world!
如果不是她，那就是个很像她的人。而那表示世界末日到了！
I can't believe this is taking so long. How you doing?
我不敢相信要拖这么久，你还好吗？
Oh not bad. You know that feeling when you're trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?
还不错。你知道想使劲把圣柏纳犬从屁♥股里拉出来的感觉吗？
Weirdest thing. Did I hear...? Mother of God, it's true!
真是太奇怪了。我好像听到……天啊，是真的！
Chandler Bing!
钱德勒·宾！
Jan Janice!
珍妮丝。
Not just Janice. Janice in labor. Contracting and everything.
不只是那样，珍妮丝要生了。她在经历阵痛什么的。
Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember, Chandler.
生孩子对我来说很容易，我的骨盆很宽。你应该记得，钱德勒。
Janice, I didn't even know you were pregnant. Who's the unwitting human whose essence you've stolen?
珍妮丝，我都不知道你怀孕了。你偷走了哪个笨蛋的"精"华？
It's you. This is yours.
是你。这是你的孩子。
What?
什么？
Look how nervous he gets! We haven't slept together in years!
看他有多紧张！我们都好几年没上过床了！
That's funny. Does it does it hurt? Does the labor hurt?
那可真搞笑。会痛吗？生孩子会痛吗？
Okay, I've got one for you. If you had to, which would you rather eat? A Seeing Eye dog or a talking gorilla?
好吧，我想到一个。如果非吃不可，你要吃哪一个？千里眼的小狗还是会说话的猩猩？
I'd have to say the talking gorilla. Because at least I could explain to him that you're making me eat him.
我要选会说话的猩猩。因为至少我可以跟它解释是你逼我吃掉它的。
Oh. Somebody went to college. Wow. What is it? I'm sorry.
某人念过大学哦。怎么了？对不起。
No, I'm sorry. It's just my foot itches like crazy.
对不起，我的脚好痒。
Oh. I'll get it.
让我来吧。
Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me.
通常我跟女人混熟之后才会让她用汤匙帮我搔痒。
Relax. It's not like we're forking.
别激动，我们又不是要用"插"子。
Oh, that's five, Ross. Five women have had five babies and I have had no babies. Why doesn't she want to come out?
这都第五个了，罗斯。五个女人生了五个孩子，而我还是没生。她为什么不肯出来？
You know what I think it is? I think you made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesn't want to leave.
你知道我在想什么吗？我想九个月来她在你的身体里住得很舒服，所以不想离开。
Look at you making up crap for me. Oh, God.
你甚至在瞎掰哄我。天啊。
Twenty one hours. You're a hero.
21个小时了。你简直是英雄。
Doctor you gotta do something! I gotta you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out.
医生，你得想想办法，给我用药吧或是放火把她熏出来！
Actually, I think you're ready to go to the delivery room.
事实上，我想你可以进产房了。
What?
什么？
Dr. Long: Ten centimeters. You're about to become a mom.
开了10公分了，你快当妈妈了。
Oh my God. Ok. Ha ha ha beat you! Sucker!
天啊，好吧。打败你了，逊鬼！
Oh, my God! That's the doctor who was in my room before.
天啊，他就是刚刚来看过我的医生。
Okay, Mr. Percocet.
好吧，幻想先生。
I'm telling you, the guy from that show was here in my room asking me all these weird questions.
我跟你说，电视里的那个人刚刚来过，还问了我一堆怪问题。
Cliff, do you really believe that a character from a TV show was here in your room?
克利夫，你真的相信电视明星来过你的房间？
Rachel's having her baby!
瑞秋要生了！
That's him! You know him?
就是他！你认识他吗？
Ok. Ok. I Ok umm...this...I I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you.
好吧，我……好吧。我派我朋友乔伊来调查你。
Umm, if you know, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than I'm coming off right now.
如果有帮助的话……我们觉得你是个好人。比现在的我好多了。
I don't believe this. You you got him to pretend he was some fake doctor?
我不敢相信。你要他假扮医生？
Fake? Excuse me? Hello?
假扮？对不起？看这里。
And then you tried to make me think I was crazy?
你还要我以为自己疯了？
You're right, that was wrong. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over?
那样是不对的，我非常抱歉。那只是因为我非常喜欢你。我们能重新开始吗？
I don't think so.
我觉得不行。
Uh, if if I may? Umm umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe maybe it would help if if you knew some personal stuff about her.
我可以说话吗？你跟我透露了很多你的私事。或许你应该知道一些关于她的私事。
Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brother's triplets. Oh! Oh! Oh! Her her twin sister used to do porn! Uh...
她曾跟男同志冰舞选手结婚。她帮她弟弟生下三胞胎。她的双胞胎姐姐曾是a♥片♥女♥优。
Joey, we're trying to dial down the crazy. Right.
乔伊，你简直是越抹越黑。 对。
Umm, look we don't, we don't really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us.
我们对彼此并不太了解，要忘记这次相遇很容易。但我们对彼此都有感觉。
And I don't know about you but that doesn't happen to me a lot.
我不知道你是怎么样，但我不常有这种奇妙邂逅。
It doesn't happen to me either. Me neither!
我也是。 我也是。
Push. Push. We're gonna push for five more seconds.
用力。你得再用力五秒。
Five, four... Three, two, one! Oh!
五、四…… 三、二、一！噢！
Ok, the next contraction should be in about twenty seconds.
下一次阵痛是20秒后。
I can't. I can't push anymore, I can't. Sweetie you're doing great.
我没办法再用力了。 你表现得很好。
Oh, God! Twenty seconds, my ass!
天啊！这根本就不到20秒嘛！
Here we go. Okay, keep pushing.
来吧，继续用力。
Come on, come on. Push. Wait.
加油。 用力，等一下。
I see something.
我看到了什么。
What, you do? You do? Oh, my God!
什么，真的吗？我的天啊！
Don't say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what? What is that?
别说"我的天啊！" 我的天啊是什么？ 那是什么？
It's the baby's buttock, she's breech.
宝宝的屁♥股，她倒位了。
Oh thank God, I thought she had two heads. Oh, God!
我还以为她有两个头。 天啊！
Is she gonna be okay?
她没事吧？
She's gonna be fine. Okay.
她没事的。 好吧。
She's in a more difficult position so you're gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push! Go! Go!
她的胎位不正，你得更加用力才行。就是那样，用力。 加油！加油！
Rachel, you're gonna have to push even harder. Nothing is happening.
瑞秋，你得更用力，还没有任何变化。
I'm sorry, I can't! I can't! Yes, you can. I know you can do this. Let's go.
抱歉，我办不到！ 不，我知道你办得到。加油。
I had no idea. Please, you do it for me!
我不知道咋办。拜托，帮我用力吧！
Let's go. One more time. One final push, ready? One, two, three.
来吧，再来一次。最后一次，准备好了吗？一、二、三。
Good.
很好。
Keep pushing!
继续用力！
Are you okay?
你没事吧？
You have no idea how much this hurts. Keep going! Keep going!
你不知道那有多痛。继续用力！
Here we go!
好了！
She's upside down but she's coming! She's coming!
宝宝胎位不正，但她要出来了！
Oh, God! Oh! Oh, my God!
天啊！ 我的天啊！
Oh, my God, she's here.
天啊，她出来了。
Oh, she's perfect.
她太完美了。
Oh, wow! Oh, she's so tiny. Where'd she go?
哇，她好小啊。她要去哪里？
They're just they're just wrapping her up.
他们得先把她包起来。
Okay. Well, be careful with her, she's really tiny.
好吧，小心一点，她真的很小。
Here she is.
宝宝来喽。
Oh hey you. Oh. Thanks for coming out of me.
你好呀。谢谢你终于出来了。
I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, she's looking at me. Hi! I know you.
我知道。她在看我。嗨，我认识你。
Do we have a name yet? No, not yet.
你们取好名字了吗？ 还没有。
That's fine. For now we'll just call her Baby Girl Greene.
没关系，先叫她格林之女。
Oh, no. Baby Girl Geller Greene.
不，盖勒·格林之女。
Hello, Baby Girl.
你好，小姑娘。
Can we come in? Oh, come on in.
我们能进去吗？ 请进。
Oh, there she is. Oh, she's so beautiful.
她在那里。 她好漂亮。
Here.
来吧。
Oh my God! She's amazing. Oh, oh I'm so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
天啊，她太美了。我很高兴你们喝醉后上了床。
It's incredible. I mean, one minute she's inside you and then 47 hours later, here she is.
太不可思议了。前一分钟她还在你肚子里，而47小时后，她就出生了。
She looks so real. You know what I mean.
她看起来好真实。你们了解我的意思。
Okay, my turn. My turn. Aunt Phoebe.
好了，轮到我了。 菲比阿姨。
Oh, baby. Oh, you're so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head. I won't.
宝贝，你好可爱我可以捏碎你的小脑袋。我不会那么做的。
Honey, what's the matter?
亲爱的，怎么了？
Nothing I'm...Sorry, I just can't stop crying.
没事，我只是禁不住要哭。
The doctor says it's completely normal with all the hormones. Plus, you you're sleep deprived.
医生说这很正常，都是荷尔蒙害的。而且你一直都没睡觉。
So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I don't see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God.
你们也都没睡。我怎么没见你们因为拖鞋穿错脚就哭哭啼啼。天啊。
What's the matter now? I was reliving it.
现在怎么了？ 我又想起那事了。
So, do you know what you're gonna call her yet?
你们帮她取好名字了吗？
Oh, wait a minute it's not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
等一下，她不是叫小姑娘吗？我觉得那个名字很有创意。
Uh actually, we we've narrowed it down to two names.
事实上我们正在考虑两个名字。
Yeah, and you know what? I love them both, so why don't you just pick one and that'll be it.
你知道吗，两个名字我都很喜欢。你选哪个 我们就用哪个。
Wow! Umm, ok uh...everyone...this...is Isabella.
好吧，大伙们。她是伊莎贝拉。
What?
怎么了？
That's not her name. I'm sorry, she just doesn't feel like an Isabella.
听着不像她的名字。抱歉，她感觉上不像伊莎贝拉。
What was the other one Ross? Delilah.
另一个名字是什么？ 迪莉拉。
Oh, great! Suddenly she sounds like a biblical whore.
太棒了！突然间她就成了圣经时代的妓♥女。
So I guess we're back to Baby Girl.
那我们还是叫她小姑娘吧。
Well what're we gonna do?
我们该怎么办？
It's ok honey, you'll find a name.
没关系，你们会想到好名字的。
Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are gonna be.
你说得倒容易。你已经知道你的孩子要叫什么名字了。
You do? Yeah, I had them picked out since I was 14.
是吗？ 我14岁时就帮他们取好了名字。
Oh, no, it's gonna be named after some snack or baked good, isn't it?
不，你的宝宝不会以点心或烘烤食物的名字来命名吧？
Well, tell us, what are they?
告诉我们你想了什么名字。
Okay. If it's a boy, it's Daniel.
好吧。如果是男孩的话就叫丹尼尔。
And if it's a girl? I don't wanna say.
如果是女孩呢？ 我不想说。
Oh, just tell us! We're not gonna want it!
少来了，告诉我们，我们不会抢走的。
Okay. It's Emma.
好吧，她叫艾玛。
Emma. See, I don't want it.
艾玛。看吧，我不喜欢。
Take it. What?
拿去吧。 什么？
She's clearly an Emma.
她很适合叫艾玛。
Oh, honey, but you love that name.
亲爱的，但你很喜欢那个名字。
Yeah, but I love you more.
对，但我更爱你。
Besides, nothing goes with Bing. So I'm screwed.
而且什么名字都跟宾不配，所以我是死定了。
Aaron Lipman Guralnick would like to say hello to his future bride.
艾伦·利普曼·古拉尼克要跟他未来的新娘打个招呼。
WOhhh! Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesn't he?
看到他会说不出话来，对吧？
He's a keeper.
他是个好男人。
How're you feeling? Oh, I'm fine.
你觉得如何？ 我很好。
Can I just say, I I really admire what you're doing. Just raising her all alone.
我真的很佩服你所做的一切。你要自己抚养她。
Oh, I'm not doing it alone. I have Ross.
我不是一个人，我有罗斯。
Oh, sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody else and he gets married?
现在是的。如果他结识别人结了婚，到时你该怎么办？
Well, then he gets a divorce. It's Ross.
他会离婚的。他可是罗斯。
I'm telling you, Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say they're gonna be there, until they start their real family.
我得告诉你，瑞秋，听珍妮丝的话。男人都说他们会陪你，但他们会成立自己的家庭。
That's never gonna happen with Ross.
罗斯不会那么做的。
Oh well that's what I thought about my first husband, now I'm lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
以前我也相信我前夫不会那样。现在如果孩子能跟她爸、双胞胎和隆胸小姐共度周末，我就谢天谢地了。
Really?
真的吗？
I hate to be the one to say it but, honey, you two are on your own.
我也不想跟你说这种话，但你们两个人得靠自己。
Well...That's...you know That's We've been alone for the last twenty minutes and we're doing ok.
这个……你知道的，这……我们已经单独相处了20分钟没出什么问题。
Besides, you know what? I I Maybe we won't be alone, 'cause lately I I things have been happening between me and Ross, you know?
也许我们不必靠自己。因为最近我跟罗斯之间擦出了火花。
And right before I went into labor, we we had this kiss. You know? So it might be the...the beginning of something.
我来医院前，我们还接了吻或许我们会再续前缘。
Hey, Janice. Oh, hi.
嗨，珍妮丝。 嗨。
Who's this little guy?
这个小家伙是谁？
Say hello to Aaron, your future son in law. Oh, no.
艾伦，那是你未来的岳父。 不。
I'm gonna leave you three alone. Okay. Bye.
我让你们一家人好好独处。 好吧。
Man, you see the kid on that nose?
天啊，你看到那孩子的鼻子了吗？
You know what I was, I was thinking about?
你知道我刚刚在想什么吗？
Umm...that kiss before we left the apartment. That was some something huh?
我们出门前的那个吻。那不只是普通的一吻，对吧？
Yeah. Yeah, it really was. But we...We gotta be careful. We...You know, we can't let that happen again, you know?
对，没错。但我们得小心点。我们……你知道的，我们不能让历史重演。
Right.
对。
I mean we don't wanna go down that road, do we?
我们不希望重蹈覆辙，对吧？
No! No, of course not. No. That's why I brought it up. They didn't have any sodas?
对，所以我才会跟你提这件事。医院没有汽水吗？
Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I was talking to this nurse. Completely forgot.
天啊，对不起。我忙着跟护士说话，完全忘了这事。
And so it begins.
现在就已经开始了。
She in there?
她在里面吗？
Yeah. She's putting her down now. That's her.
对，护士正把她放在床上，那就是她。
Look. Look at Emma.
快看艾玛。
I just can't decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel?
我不知道她长得更像你还是瑞秋。
Oh, what, are you kidding? She's gorgeous! It's all Rachel.
什么，开什么玩笑？她美极了，完全遗传瑞秋。
I'm sorry. For the last time, why aren't you two together again?
对不起，这是我最后一次问你。你们两个为什么不结婚？
No, I know. I know, because you're not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are.
我知道因为你们没有到那个程度。其实也没什，但事实上你们绝对到了。
It's...it's complicated ok?
情况很复杂，好吗？
Yeah that's true. Yeah, you love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer.
对，这话没错。你一直都爱着她，你们生了一个孩子。谁知道你们该不该结婚。
Look, we've been together. Ok? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now, we have a baby.
我们曾经交往过，后来分手。复合后又分手。现在我们生了一个孩子。
It's just if if we got together again and it didn't work out...I can never do that to Emma.
如果我们又复合，结果还是分手……我不能对艾玛做那种事。
I mean she she came into this world thinking everything Oh that's...now me.
她来到这个世界上，觉得每件事都……我怎么也这样了。
What, do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I are doing, we're doing really well right now.
难道他们在水里放了催泪剂吗？瑞秋跟我现在过得很好。
I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it.
我知道。如果你想更进一步，可能会毁掉现在的美好。
Yeah, exactly. Right.
没错。 对。
Or you might get everything you've wanted since you were 15.
或者你可以得到你从15岁开始就梦想的生活。
Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here.
我看到一个女人同时在喂双胞胎母乳。真的很像怪胎秀。
What's the matter? Nothing.
怎么了？ 没事。
What is it? Hey.
怎么了？
Really, it's nothing. I'm just... Rach, come on. What?
真的没事，我…… 瑞秋，别这样，怎么了？
I've just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone.
我一直在想我跟宝宝要怎么独自生活下去。
What are you talking about alone? What about Ross?
你在说什么？罗斯呢？
Oh, please, he'll be with this real family, the twins and little Ms. new boobs.
拜托，他会成立自己的家庭。双胞胎跟隆胸小姐。
Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
难道我瞅了那女人这么久？这都啥时候的事？
I'm just saying that, you know someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and he's gonna have his own life. Right?
我只是说，有一天罗斯会认识别的女人，他会拥有自己的生活。对吧？
Yeah, I guess so.
你说得对。
I just never thought I would raise this baby all by myself. Pretty dumb huh?
我没想到我要独自抚养这个宝宝。真的很傻吧？
Hey, you listen to me. Listen to me.
你得听我说，听着。
You are never, ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise I won't let that happen.
你永远都不会孤立无援。我发誓我不会让那种事发生。
Joey. Oh, sweetie, what would I do without you?
乔伊。亲爱的，没有你我该怎么办？
Hey, you don't have to worry about that ok?
你不必担心，好吗？
Oh, honey could you grab me my other box of tissues?
你能再帮我拿盒面纸来吗？
They're right on the chair under Ross' coat. Sure.
就在罗斯的外套下面。 没问题。
Oh, my God!
我的天啊！
Joey?
乔伊？
Oh, my God. Okay.
我的天啊。好吧。
That was amazing. I know.
刚刚简直太销魂了。 我知道。
Hey, do you realize that we may have just changed our lives forever? We may just have started our family. Nine months from now we could be here having our own baby.
你知不知道我们很可能已经永远地改写了我们的生活？我们可能已经开始组建了自己的家庭。九个月后我们可能会来这里...生下我们的孩子。
And if not, we got to do it on a bucket.
如果不行，我们就得在桶上做了。