Should we tell Rachel there's an empty private room right next door to hers?
We could. Or we can have sex in it.
Well, let me think about that while I remove my pants!
Okay, mister! Fertilize me!
Does that sound like Janice?
If it's not, then there's two of them. And that would mean it's the end of the world!
I can't believe this is taking so long. How you doing?
Oh not bad. You know that feeling when you're trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?
Weirdest thing. Did I hear...? Mother of God, it's true!
Not just Janice. Janice in labor. Contracting and everything.
Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember, Chandler.
Janice, I didn't even know you were pregnant. Who's the unwitting human whose essence you've stolen?
It's you. This is yours.
Look how nervous he gets! We haven't slept together in years!
That's funny. Does it does it hurt? Does the labor hurt?
Okay, I've got one for you. If you had to, which would you rather eat? A Seeing Eye dog or a talking gorilla?
I'd have to say the talking gorilla. Because at least I could explain to him that you're making me eat him.
Oh. Somebody went to college. Wow. What is it? I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry. It's just my foot itches like crazy.
Oh. I'll get it.
Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me.
Relax. It's not like we're forking.
Oh, that's five, Ross. Five women have had five babies and I have had no babies. Why doesn't she want to come out?
You know what I think it is? I think you made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesn't want to leave.
Look at you making up crap for me. Oh, God.
Twenty one hours. You're a hero.
Doctor you gotta do something! I gotta you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out.
Actually, I think you're ready to go to the delivery room.
Dr. Long: Ten centimeters. You're about to become a mom.
Oh my God. Ok. Ha ha ha beat you! Sucker!
Oh, my God! That's the doctor who was in my room before.
Okay, Mr. Percocet.
I'm telling you, the guy from that show was here in my room asking me all these weird questions.
Cliff, do you really believe that a character from a TV show was here in your room?
Rachel's having her baby!
That's him! You know him?
Ok. Ok. I Ok umm...this...I I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you.
Umm, if you know, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than I'm coming off right now.
I don't believe this. You you got him to pretend he was some fake doctor?
Fake? Excuse me? Hello?
And then you tried to make me think I was crazy?
You're right, that was wrong. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over?
I don't think so.
Uh, if if I may? Umm umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe maybe it would help if if you knew some personal stuff about her.
Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brother's triplets. Oh! Oh! Oh! Her her twin sister used to do porn! Uh...
Joey, we're trying to dial down the crazy. Right.
Umm, look we don't, we don't really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us.
And I don't know about you but that doesn't happen to me a lot.
It doesn't happen to me either. Me neither!
Push. Push. We're gonna push for five more seconds.
Five, four... Three, two, one! Oh!
Ok, the next contraction should be in about twenty seconds.
I can't. I can't push anymore, I can't. Sweetie you're doing great.
Oh, God! Twenty seconds, my ass!
Here we go. Okay, keep pushing.
Come on, come on. Push. Wait.
I see something.
What, you do? You do? Oh, my God!
Don't say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what? What is that?
别说"我的天啊！" 我的天啊是什么？ 那是什么？
It's the baby's buttock, she's breech.
Oh thank God, I thought she had two heads. Oh, God!
Is she gonna be okay?
She's gonna be fine. Okay.
She's in a more difficult position so you're gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push! Go! Go!
Rachel, you're gonna have to push even harder. Nothing is happening.
I'm sorry, I can't! I can't! Yes, you can. I know you can do this. Let's go.
I had no idea. Please, you do it for me!
Let's go. One more time. One final push, ready? One, two, three.
Are you okay?
You have no idea how much this hurts. Keep going! Keep going!
Here we go!
She's upside down but she's coming! She's coming!
Oh, God! Oh! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, she's here.
Oh, she's perfect.
Oh, wow! Oh, she's so tiny. Where'd she go?
They're just they're just wrapping her up.
Okay. Well, be careful with her, she's really tiny.
Here she is.
Oh hey you. Oh. Thanks for coming out of me.
I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, she's looking at me. Hi! I know you.
Do we have a name yet? No, not yet.
That's fine. For now we'll just call her Baby Girl Greene.
Oh, no. Baby Girl Geller Greene.
Hello, Baby Girl.
Can we come in? Oh, come on in.
Oh, there she is. Oh, she's so beautiful.
Oh my God! She's amazing. Oh, oh I'm so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
It's incredible. I mean, one minute she's inside you and then 47 hours later, here she is.
She looks so real. You know what I mean.
Okay, my turn. My turn. Aunt Phoebe.
Oh, baby. Oh, you're so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head. I won't.
Honey, what's the matter?
Nothing I'm...Sorry, I just can't stop crying.
The doctor says it's completely normal with all the hormones. Plus, you you're sleep deprived.
So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I don't see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God.
What's the matter now? I was reliving it.
So, do you know what you're gonna call her yet?
Oh, wait a minute it's not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
Uh actually, we we've narrowed it down to two names.
Yeah, and you know what? I love them both, so why don't you just pick one and that'll be it.
Wow! Umm, ok uh...everyone...this...is Isabella.
That's not her name. I'm sorry, she just doesn't feel like an Isabella.
What was the other one Ross? Delilah.
Oh, great! Suddenly she sounds like a biblical whore.
So I guess we're back to Baby Girl.
Well what're we gonna do?
It's ok honey, you'll find a name.
Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are gonna be.
You do? Yeah, I had them picked out since I was 14.
Oh, no, it's gonna be named after some snack or baked good, isn't it?
Well, tell us, what are they?
Okay. If it's a boy, it's Daniel.
And if it's a girl? I don't wanna say.
Oh, just tell us! We're not gonna want it!
Okay. It's Emma.
Emma. See, I don't want it.
Take it. What?
She's clearly an Emma.
Oh, honey, but you love that name.
Yeah, but I love you more.
Besides, nothing goes with Bing. So I'm screwed.
Aaron Lipman Guralnick would like to say hello to his future bride.
WOhhh! Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesn't he?
He's a keeper.
How're you feeling? Oh, I'm fine.
Can I just say, I I really admire what you're doing. Just raising her all alone.
Oh, I'm not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Oh, sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody else and he gets married?
Well, then he gets a divorce. It's Ross.
I'm telling you, Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say they're gonna be there, until they start their real family.
That's never gonna happen with Ross.
Oh well that's what I thought about my first husband, now I'm lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
I hate to be the one to say it but, honey, you two are on your own.
Well...That's...you know That's We've been alone for the last twenty minutes and we're doing ok.
Besides, you know what? I I Maybe we won't be alone, 'cause lately I I things have been happening between me and Ross, you know?
And right before I went into labor, we we had this kiss. You know? So it might be the...the beginning of something.
Hey, Janice. Oh, hi.
Who's this little guy?
Say hello to Aaron, your future son in law. Oh, no.
I'm gonna leave you three alone. Okay. Bye.
Man, you see the kid on that nose?
You know what I was, I was thinking about?
Umm...that kiss before we left the apartment. That was some something huh?
Yeah. Yeah, it really was. But we...We gotta be careful. We...You know, we can't let that happen again, you know?
I mean we don't wanna go down that road, do we?
No! No, of course not. No. That's why I brought it up. They didn't have any sodas?
Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I was talking to this nurse. Completely forgot.
And so it begins.
She in there?
Yeah. She's putting her down now. That's her.
Look. Look at Emma.
I just can't decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel?
Oh, what, are you kidding? She's gorgeous! It's all Rachel.
I'm sorry. For the last time, why aren't you two together again?
No, I know. I know, because you're not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are.
It's...it's complicated ok?
Yeah that's true. Yeah, you love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer.
Look, we've been together. Ok? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now, we have a baby.
It's just if if we got together again and it didn't work out...I can never do that to Emma.
I mean she she came into this world thinking everything Oh that's...now me.
What, do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I are doing, we're doing really well right now.
I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it.
Yeah, exactly. Right.
Or you might get everything you've wanted since you were 15.
Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here.
What's the matter? Nothing.
What is it? Hey.
Really, it's nothing. I'm just... Rach, come on. What?
I've just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone.
What are you talking about alone? What about Ross?
Oh, please, he'll be with this real family, the twins and little Ms. new boobs.
Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
I'm just saying that, you know someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and he's gonna have his own life. Right?
Yeah, I guess so.
I just never thought I would raise this baby all by myself. Pretty dumb huh?
Hey, you listen to me. Listen to me.
You are never, ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise I won't let that happen.
Joey. Oh, sweetie, what would I do without you?
Hey, you don't have to worry about that ok?
Oh, honey could you grab me my other box of tissues?
They're right on the chair under Ross' coat. Sure.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God. Okay.
That was amazing. I know.
Hey, do you realize that we may have just changed our lives forever? We may just have started our family. Nine months from now we could be here having our own baby.
And if not, we got to do it on a bucket.