Monica: Hey hon, would you help me get the plates down?
亲爱的，你可以帮我把盘子拿下来吗？
Chandler: Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today?
嘿，我有个主意，我们今天用我们的结婚瓷盘好不好？
Monica: Or, we can save them for a, a fancy special occasion.
或者我们可以等到很特别的场合再用。
Chandler: How about this, you could treat me like I'm an equal, or, talk down to me like I'm a child.
可不可以这样：你要不就平等对待我……要不就把我当成小孩对我说话。
Monica: No, I just think that we should save our china for something really special, like, if the Queen of England comes over.
不，我只是认为我们应该把瓷盘留到真正特别的场合使用，像是英国女王来访的时候。
Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us. Take the hint.
亲爱的，她一直取消跟我们的约。你还不懂那是什么意思吗？
Monica: What if something gets broken? They're so expensive!
打破了怎么办呢？它们可是很贵的！
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
东西摆着不用的意义何在呢？
Monica: Ok, but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes over...
好吧，但是如果打破了，然后女王又要来访……
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
我会跟她解释。
Monica: Oh yeah, like I'm gonna let you talk to the Queen.
你以为我会让你跟她说话啊。
Joey: Wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap!
哇，今年的游♥行真是棒。天啊，那些马还真能拉屎！
TV announcer: Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, Oaklahoma.
下一个游♥行队伍是来自奥克拉荷马州的马斯科吉。
Chandler: Muskogee! That's like four hours from Tulsa. Woo-hoo! Y'all look great! That's right, I said "y'all!"
马斯科吉？离土尔沙才四小时车程！你全看起来棒透了！没错，我是说“你全”。
TV announcer: And here's the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives.
接下来是日间肥皂剧……《我们的日子》的众星们。
Joey: Oh my God!
喔，我的天！
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?
你不是日间肥皂剧 《我们的日子》的众星之一吗？
Joey: Yeah! I totally forgot I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this down on my arm.
我忘了！我应该要参加游♥行的！我不敢相信我忘了！我通常会写在手臂上的！
Joey: Oh! Stupid long sleeves.
蠢长袖衣服！
Chandler: What are you gonna do?
你要怎么办呢？
Joey: I guess I'm gonna have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there.
我得找个好借口说明……我为什么没有到。
Joey: The producers are gonna be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani."
制作人一定会很生气。他们昨天把我们全都叫进去，然后说：“大家都要在早上六点整到，尤其是你，崔比亚尼。”
Joey: Like...like I was some kinda idiot.
好像我是什么笨蛋似的。
Chandler: Well you proved them wrong.
嗯，你刚好证明了他们是错的。
Rachel: Oh Emma. This is your first Thanksgiving. What're you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies.
喔，艾玛。这是你第一个感恩节。你要感谢什么呢？妈咪的胸部吗？
Ross: A lot of people are thankful for those.
很多人都会感谢那东西的。
Ross: Woman at door: Hello? Rachel?
嗨？瑞秋？
Rachel: Who is it?
是谁？
Woman at door: It's your favorite sister.
是你最喜欢的妹妹。
Rachel: Jill?
吉儿？
Woman at door: Amy.
艾美！
Rachel: Hide my rings.
把我的戒指藏起来。
Rachel: Oh. Amy! Happy Thanksgiving.
艾美！感恩节快乐。
Amy: Do you have a hair straightener?
你有没有直发器呢？
Rachel: Um...hi.
嗨。
Amy: Oh...hi...
哦……嗨……
Rachel: Aw.
啊。
Amy: Hair straightener?
直发器？
Rachel: I haven't seen you in like a year.
我好像一年没有见到你了。
Amy: Oh, I know, I know. I've just been crazed.
我知道，我知道，我忙坏了。
Rachel: Oh well yeah me too. Um...I had a baby.
喔，我也是，我生了小孩。
Amy: I decorated Dad's office.
我把爸的办公室重新装璜了一次。
Rachel: Oh...yeah? Well unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing.
是吗？除非你有把桌子从阴♥道挤出去，否则那可是不同的事。
Amy: Listen, um, about the hair straightener, honey...I really need one. I'm gonna have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
关于直发器的事，亲爱的，我真的需要。我要到我男朋友家用晚餐。
Amy: Oh my God!
喔，我的天！
Rachel: mh hmm...
嗯……
Amy: Is this Emmett?
这是爱门吗？
Rachel: Uhh, it's Emma.
是艾玛。
Amy: It's a girl?
是个女生？
Ross: Hey Amy.
嗨，艾美。
Rachel: Oh Amy, you remember Ross.
艾美，你记得罗斯吧？
Amy: Not really. But you are much cuter then that geeky guy she used to date.
不太记得。但是你比她之前的呆头鹅男友可爱多了。
Ross: That was me.
那个人就是我。
Amy: No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her since like the ninth grade.
不，他是高中时代的怪男生，从好像是九年级……就很喜欢她的。
Ross: Still me.
那还是我。
Amy: No, I'm not talking about you. Come on, it was your fat friend's brother with that bad Afro, do you remember?
不，我不是在说你。那是你那个胖朋友的哥哥留着可笑的黑人头，你记得吗？
Ross: Amy, I'm gonna save you some time, ok? All me.
好了，艾美，让我节省你的时间，都是我！
Monica: Careful. Careful. Careful!
小心。小心。小心！
Chandler: I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise. hey this isn't the china we picked out.
这样子好了，我们这一辈子……我都会很小心，除非你要我做别的。这不是我们选的瓷盘。
Monica: I know, after you left the store, I chose different ones.
我知道在你离开店里之后，我选了别的。
Chandler: Why?
为什么？
Monica: Well no offense honey, but your taste is a little feminine for me.
你的品味对我而言太女性化了。
Chandler: Oh suddenly, flowers are feminine?
花朵什么时候变成女性化的象征了？
Phoebe: Hey, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving!
嘿，大家好！感恩节快乐！
Joey: Hey happy Thanksgiving...Phoebe!
感恩节快乐，菲比！
Phoebe: Hey, what's going on Joe?
怎么了，乔伊？
Joey: I...I...I need a good lie.
听着，我需要编个天衣无缝的谎。
Phoebe: Oh ok. How about the whole "man walking on the moon" thing. You know?
好的。“阿波罗登月”那个谎言如何？
Phoebe: You-you could. You could see the strings people!
根本就可以看到线，真是的！
Joey: No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
不，不，我需要一个谎言来解释为什么我今天错过了一件工作的事。
Phoebe: Ooh, honey. You stink at lying.
亲爱的。你根本不会说谎。
Joey: Well, I do not.
我会的。
Phoebe: Oh really? Ok, let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it?
真的？让我问你昨天发生在咖啡屋的事……我去上厕所，回来的时候我的松饼就不见了，是谁拿走的？
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, and went straight for your muffin, I said "Hey! Don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said...
有人打开咖啡屋的大门……然后一只浣熊就跑进来直接拿走你的松饼，我说：“嘿，不能吃！那是菲比的！” 然后他说……
Joey: He said..."Joey you stink at lying." What am I gonna do?
他说“乔伊，你根本不会说谎。” 我该怎么办呢？
Phoebe: Don't worry, don't. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help you practice it.
别担心。我们会想个谎的。我会帮你的。
Joey: Oh great, that'd be great. Thank you.
太好了，太棒了。谢谢你。
Phoebe: Sure, what...what was the work thing?
没问题，你错过了什么工作的事？
Joey: Uh...
呃……
Phoebe: "Pick up grandma at the airport"?
“到机场接奶奶”？
Joey: Oh...man...
喔，天啊！
Amy: Oh, she's precious.
她真是我的心肝宝贝。
Amy:Do you ever worry that she's gonna get your real nose?
你会不会担心她会遗传到你真正的鼻子？
Rachel: Amy!
艾美！
Rachel: Yes I do...I really do.
是的，我会，我真的会。
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. Can I take this upstairs?
喂？是，等一下。我可以到楼上讲吗？
Ross: Sure, we don't live there, but...
当然，我们不住在楼上，但是……
Amy: Seriously? It's...just these rooms? I thought you were a doctor.
真的吗？只有这几间房间？我以为你是医生（音同博士）。
Rachel: Yeah, no. Ross has a-a PhD.
不，罗斯有博士学位。
Amy: Ew.
呕。
Rachel: God, she is unbelievable.
天啊，她真是不可思议。
Ross: I know, I mean a PhD is just as good as an MD.
对啊，博士学位就跟医学学位一样好啊。
Rachel: Oh sure Ross, yeah. If I ever have a heart attack in a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush.
是喔，罗斯，对啊！如果我在餐厅时心脏病发，我会希望你跟你的化石刷子就在一旁。
Amy: Stupid Thanksgiving.
蠢感恩节。
Rachel: What? What happened?
怎么了？发生什么事？
Amy: My boyfriend canceled on me.
我男朋友跟我取消约会了。
Amy: I mean...I-I finally find a real relationship. I mean, someone that I can spend this day with and then his wife comes back into town.
我好不容易才找到一段真感情。一个可以跟我共渡今天的人，然后他老婆竟然回来了！
Amy: I swear, it's-it's almost not even worth dating married guys.
我发誓，跟已婚男人约会真是不值得。
Ross: Don't say that.
别这样说。
Amy: Oh. I was so looking forward to this.
天啊，我本来很期待今天的。
Amy: It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. We were gonna have sushi.
本来会是很美好的感恩节的。我们本来要吃寿司的。
Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um...Ross, could I talk to you in private?
艾美，别哭。罗斯，我可以私下跟你谈谈吗？
Ross: Sure, you wanna go upstairs?
当然，你想要去楼上或是……？
Rachel: Um, look, I was thinking...If it's ok with Monica, I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
听着，我想如果莫妮卡不介意的话……我想要邀请艾美跟我们共度感恩节。
Ross: You know, I think that's a great idea. It'll be like the pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis.
我认为这是个好主意。就像清教徒把梅毒带来美国给印地安人一样。
Rachel: Look I know she's a little tough to take.
听着，我知道她有点难搞。
Rachel: But she has no where else to go, and she's my sister. Alright, she's Emma's aunt.
但是她没有其他地方可以去了，而且她是我妹妹，是艾玛的阿姨。
Rachel: And I would like them to bond.
而我想要让她们相处融洽。
Ross: Ok, fine, but I-I don't want them bonding too much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
我不想要她们相处太融洽。我不要她告诉艾玛说她需要整形。
Rachel: Wh? Ross, you know what? She may need one...We're just gonna have to make our peace with that!
罗斯，她很可能会需要的 ……我们也只能接受了！
Rachel: Amy? Amy? Amy!
艾美……艾美？艾美！
Amy: I'm out in the hall, your baby had some sort of explosion of stink.
我在外面，你们的婴儿好像爆发出一股臭气。
Ross: The bonding is going great.
相处的可真融洽。
Rachel: Hi.
嗨。
Everyone: Hi, hey.
嘿。
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy.
嘿，大伙儿，这是我妹妹艾美。
Rachel: This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
这是钱德、乔伊、菲比还有你认识的莫妮卡。
Everyone: Hi.
嗨。
Amy: Oh my god. You're on Days of Our Lives.
喔，我的天。你有演《我们的日子》。
Joey: Yeah.
是的。
Amy: Wow. They must put a lot of makeup on you.
哇！他们一定是帮你化很浓的妆。
Joey: Hap...Hap...Happy Thanksgiving, yeah.
感恩节快乐。
Monica: So welcome. Uhm, is this your first time you're seeing Emma?
欢迎，这是你第一次见到艾玛吗？
Amy: Yeah I...I think so. It's nice to meet you Emma.
是的，我想是的。很高兴认识你，艾玛。
Phoebe: Phoe-Be.
菲比。
Amy: Oh. That's a funny noise.
那声音真好玩。
Joey: Pheebs, I still need some help here.
菲比？我还需要你帮我。
Phoebe: Oh, right, ok um. Ok, so it's not just the lie you tell, but it's the way you tell it. For example, if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying.
好的，不止是你说的谎言本身，你说的方式也很重要。例如……如果你说的时候看着地上，人们就知道你在说谎。
Joey: Oh...I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know...I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrific actor.
我不知道为什么这对我如此困难。说谎基本上就跟演戏一样，而我可是演技精湛的演员。
Phoebe: You are a terrific actor.
你是演技精湛的演员。
Chandler: I could talk to the producers for you. I'm a great liar.
我可以帮你跟制作人说。我可是说谎高手。
Chandler: Take Monica's dress, I said I loved it, I hated it.
举莫妮卡的衣服当例子，我说我很喜欢，事实上我讨厌极了。
Monica: Hey!
嘿！
Chandler: I'm also a great moron.
我同时也是白♥痴高手。
Amy: Where's the baby?
嘿，婴儿在哪里呢？
Rachel: Oh we just put her down for a nap.
我们刚把她抱去睡了。
Amy: Oh, listen, I was just thinking.
听着，我刚刚在想。
Amy: You know what would be incredible? If you guys died.
你们知道什么事会很棒吗？就是如果你们死了！
Ross: Thank you Amy.
谢谢你，艾美。
Amy: No, no, then I would get the baby.
然后我就可以得到婴儿。
Amy: I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, and then I would rise to the occasion and then, and then I'd get make over and then I'd get married.
就像是电影情节一样。刚开始我会全无头绪，然后时机来临时我会完全改变，然后结婚去。
Phoebe: That's a great movie.
很棒的电影！
Amy: Now, listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything 'cause you know, you'd be dead. But, I was thinking about changing her name.
反正你们也不能阻止我……因为你们已经死了。但是我想要帮她改名字。
Amy: I'm just not really a big fan of Emily.
我就是不大喜欢艾蜜莉。
Ross: Emma.
艾玛。
Amy: Emma, Ross wants you.
艾玛？罗斯在叫你。
Phoebe: Phoe-be.
菲比！
Amy: Why does she keep making that noise?
她为什么一直发出那种怪声呢？
Rachel: Honey, I-I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or myself, um, you wouldn't get the baby.
亲爱的，我不知道要如何告诉你，但是如果我跟罗斯发生了什么事，你不会得到婴儿的。
Amy: Well, who would?
那，谁会呢？
Ross: Well, we haven't offically asked them yet, but we would want Monica and Chandler.
嗯，我们还没有正式问过他们，但是我们会希望是莫妮卡跟钱德。
Amy: Who?
谁？
Ross: You're in their apartment.
我们正在他们的公寓里。
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
我不敢相信你们要我们抚养艾玛。
Monica: Yeah oh my God, I'm so moved.
喔，我的天，我真是太感动了。
Amy: I don't believe this, hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby?
我不敢相信，等一下。你们死了……然后婴儿不是我的？
Rachel: Look, Amy, see, we-we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
艾美，我们跟莫妮卡跟钱德比较亲近。我们每天都见面。而且老实说，你好像也不太亲近婴儿。
Amy: Connected? I mean...to what? She's...she's a lump.
亲近？亲近什么？她只是一堆肉。
Chandler: You know, guys, I gotta say, this means so much to me. I mean, that you would trust me, with your child.
我必须要跟你们说，这对我意义重大。我是说，你们肯相信我，托负你们的孩子给我。
Chandler: I mean, we all know that Monica and I've been trying to have a baby of our own.
大家都知道莫妮卡跟我一直试着……想要生小孩。
Chandler: And you know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two...that you two....
我也有怀疑过自己当父亲的能力，但是……你们两个……你们两个……
Amy: This guy? Seriously?
这个人吗？真的吗？
Monica: Ok! It's time for dinner.
好了，晚餐时间到了。
Monica: Everyone, we-we're using our fancy china...um and it's-it's very expensive, so please be careful.
各位，我们将使用我们的精致瓷盘……它们是很贵的，所以请小心。
Ross: Woah. Woah...Woah.
喔。喔。喔。
Monica: Ok, uh, just to be clear, comedy with the plates will not be well recieved.
好了，再说明一次，不要拿这些盘子开玩笑。
Joey: Hey! How come my plate's less fancy then everyone else's? Do you not trust me with a fancy plate?
嘿！为什么我的盘子不如别人的精致？你不信任我不让我用你的精致餐盘吗？
Monica: No, honey, it's, that's a special plate. See it was-it's a game, whoever gets that plate wins.
不，亲爱的，那是特别的盘子。这是一个游戏，拿到那盘子的人就是赢家。
Joey: I can't believe I won.
我不敢相信我赢了！
Amy: You know, this's such a slap in the face. I mean I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
这真的很侮辱，我是你妹妹……你却可以把婴儿给这些陌生人而不给我。
Rachel: Monica is Ross' sister.
莫妮卡是罗斯的妹妹。
Amy: No, Ross' sister was really fat.
不，罗斯的妹妹很胖的。
Monica: That was me.
那就是我。
Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in high school, used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog.
不，她是个蠢蠢的女生，在学校时就像小狗一样跟着瑞秋。
Rachel: Ok. Hey Amy, you got to stop doing that.
艾美，我不许你再这样了！
Monica: Ok, uh listen I know that you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates.
好了，我知道你现在正在经历家庭危机，但是你不需要把气出在盘子身上。
Monica: I mean, in-in fact I think that, that everyone should, uhm, cut their food like this.
其实我认为每个人……都应该这样切食物。
Monica: Now, see, uh this way you protect the plates...and-and let's face it, you have fun.
现在，看到了吗？这样不只可以保护盘子……而且还挺好玩的。
Amy: Ok, how about this, if you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby?
好吧，要是这样呢？如果你们死了……而且疯狂盘子女士也死了……那我可以得到婴儿吗？
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad...If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
不，如果疯狂盘子女……如果莫妮卡死了，那艾玛就是我的了，对吗？
Rachel: Well, actually...
嗯，其实……
Chandler: Actually what?
怎样？
Ross: Uh...it's just, it's just in that case, then, um, Emma would go to my parents.
只是…… 如果是那样的话……那艾玛就会去跟我父母亲住。
Chandler: What?
什么？
Amy: Hurts, doesn't it?
很伤你的心，对不对？
Joey: Uh...who has to die for me to get her?
我要等谁死了才能得到她？
Chandler: So, if Monica's not around, I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
所以如果莫妮卡不在了，我就没有资格抚养艾玛了？
Ross: No, that, that is not what we're saying.
不，我们不是这个意思。
Joey: Yeah he's lying. He looked down.
他在说谎，他看了地上。
Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I...am I incompetent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
那我有什么不好的呢？我无能吗？因为无论是什么东西杀了你们三个，我都存活了下来！
Rachel: Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We-we think you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just...you-you're more the, you know, fun parent.
你反应过度了。我们认为你会是很好的父亲。只是……你是比较风趣的父亲。
Ross: Yeah and we'd want to make sure that Emma also has someone like Monica who is more of a, a discliplinarin, someone who can be firm and strict.
是的，我们想要确定艾玛也有像莫妮卡这样的人照顾，比较有纪律的人比较坚定严格的人。
Monica: That's not how you see me, is it?
你们对我的感觉不是真的那样吧？
Phoebe: No you're all about the fun.
不，你真的很好玩。
Chandler: Look, I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable?
我或许不是很了解婴儿，但是你们真的认为我没有能力吗？
Ross: No, you-you both are equally capable. It's-it's just...you're strongest when, when you're together.
不，你们两个能力相当。只不过你们在一起的时候是最强的。
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I died she had have to give her up.
好的，如果我们有艾玛，然后我死了……她也不能拥有她。
Ross: Sure, Monica would have to give her up.
当然，莫妮卡也必须把她让出来。
Joey: I lie better then that, right?
我说谎说的至少比他好，对吧？
Chandler: So, let me, let me just get this straight.
让我搞清楚。
Chandler: So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me?
如果我的两个朋友死了，我得到艾玛。然后我老婆死了，那我生命中剩下的唯一一小块希望，艾玛……也会从我身边被带走？
Phoebe: There's your movie!
演的好精采哦！
Monica: Hey. There you are.
嘿，你在这里。
Monica: You disappeared after dinner.
你在晚餐之后就消失了。
Chandler: Oh? Did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly?
有人想念我吗？有婴儿需要被无能的父亲抚养长大吗？
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean it's not like their so responsible.
罗斯跟瑞秋根本什么都不懂。他们自己也不是多有责任感。
Monica: Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
艾玛只不过是一瓶红酒跟一个过期保险套的产品。
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
不，他们是对的，我不是强悍的父亲，我永远都不会是。
Monica: No, you learn these things. You grow-grow into it.
不，这些是要学习的。你会逐渐学会的。
Chandler: Yeah, but it's not who I am.
是的，但那就不是我了。
Chandler: You know? Everything they said is exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And it's true.
他们说的一切，都是我担心有小孩之后会面对的问题，是真的。
Chandler: And look, everybody knows it.
而且，大家都知道。
Monica: I don't know it! I wanna have a kid with you because I think you're gonna be an amazing dad...at the fun parts and the hard parts.
我并不知道！我要跟你生小孩因为我认为你会是很棒的父亲……不管是风趣还是有纪律。
Chandler: Oh yeah, well, can you picture me saying "Go to your room! You're grounded"?
那你可以想像我说 “回房去，你被禁足了”吗？
Monica: Can you hear me say "You're grounded"?
你可以想像我说“你被禁足了”吗？
Chandler: You said that to me last week.
你上星期才那样对我说。
Monica: How hard is it? No shoes on the furniture.
我叫你不要穿着鞋子踏在家具上，到底有多难呢？
Joey: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade.
制作人刚刚留言问我为什么没有参加游♥行。
Joey: They said everybody's really pissed off at me...And they all got to meet Santa!
他说大家都对我很不爽……而且他们都有见到圣诞老公公！
Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you.
没关系，我帮你想了一个完美谎言。
Phoebe: It's simple, it's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions.
很容易记，而且不会引来更多的问题。
Joey: Does it have something to do with a spaceship? Oh no no no no, the Statue of Liberty came to life, and...
是跟太空船有关的吗？自由女神活了过来……
Phoebe: Shhh. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency.
你没有参加游♥行因为家里出了紧急状况。
Joey: Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency.
我喜欢！耶！我没有参加游♥行因为家里出了紧急状况。
Phoebe: Ooh, what happened?
发生什么事？
Joey: Uh...my sister's raccoon...
我妹的浣熊……
Phoebe: No! Nothing with a raccoon.
不，别提浣熊！
Joey: Alright, I'll take care of it.
好吧，我来照顾它。
Monica: Oh wait...what-what're you doing?
等等，你们在做什么？
Joey: Setting the table.
摆餐具。
Phoebe: Yeah we thought it would be nice to use, the fancy china for dessert too.
我们觉得用这些精致餐盘来吃甜点应该也很不错。
Monica: Oh, how nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress.
很不错，或许等一下我们可以去拿我的结婚礼服来擤鼻涕。
Ross: Hey dude, you ok? Sorry about before.
嘿，兄弟，你还好吗？刚刚的事我很抱歉。
Chandler: Oh no that's ok, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child.
没关系，你完全是对的。我根本就不知道如何管教孩子。
Chandler: But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that if I die, you don't get Joey.
但是我还是很伤心而且我要你知道，如果我死了……你别想得到乔伊。
Amy: Ucch. Uchh In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you.
如果你还没注意到，我现在不会跟你说话的。
Rachel: UCHH!
UCHH！
Amy: You know...this is, this is classic Rachel.
真的是…… 这是典型的瑞秋。
Rachel: Oh yeah, yeah, right. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby?
喔，对喔，记得在高中我死的时候也没有把我的婴儿给你吗？
Amy: This might be my one chance to have a child, Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer.
这或许是我唯一拥有小孩的机会，瑞秋。你知道我一直忙于我的事业……
Rachel: What? What carrer?
什么事业？
Amy: Um...I'm a decorator.
我是室内设计师。
Rachel: You decorate dad's office and now you're a decorator?
你装璜了爸的办公室就是设计师了吗？
Rachel: Ok! I went to the zoo yesterday, now I'm a koala bear.
好的，我昨天去了动物园，现在我就是树袋熊了。
Amy: Why can't you ever be supportive?
你为什么不能多支持我一点？
Rachel: Sup...You wanna talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby.
你要谈支持吗？我在医院生小孩时你可没有来看过我！
Amy: Oh. Yeah. Well, you didn't come to see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done.
我在医院整形嘴唇时你也没有来看我！
Rachel: I did the first time!
我第一次有去。
Rachel: Oh. Oh And you know what. You wanna know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
你想知道我为什么不要把艾蜜莉给你吗？
Ross: Emma.
是艾玛。
Rachel: Oh whose side are you on? I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child.
你是站谁那边的？我不给你艾玛，是因为你无法扛起照顾小孩子的责任。
Amy: Well how hard could it be? You do it.
那有多难呢？你都做得到。
Joey: Ooh...
哦……
Amy: Do I know why you don't wanna me to have the baby?
你知道，你为什么 不想让我得到婴儿吗？
Rachel: Uh huh.
嗯哼。
Amy: Because you don't want me to be happy. You-you have always been jealous of me.
因为你不想看到我快乐。你总是在忌妒我。
Rachel: Jealous of what? Of your lack of responsiblity? You, your immaturity? Your total disregard for other people's feelings?
忌妒你什么？忌妒你没有责任感吗？还是你的不成熟？你那种完全忽略别人感受的作为吗？
Amy: Uh...To name a few.
这只是其中几项。
Amy: You know, you just, you've always been like this. You just, you had to have everything. And I couldn't have anything.
你总是这样。你总是要所有的东西。而我什么都得不到。
Amy: Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
就像在初中的时候，你抢走我的提米。你知道那伤我有多深吗？
Rachel: Timmy was my boyfriend, and you made out with him!
提米是我的男朋友，而你跟他偷偷亲热！
Amy: Oh come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it.
别这样，那已经是二十年前的事了。别太记恨。
Rachel: I cannot believe, I cannot believe that I invited you here today.
我不敢相信我在今天邀请了你。
Amy: Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe.
是喔，你知道我不能相信什么吗？
Amy: That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail? !
我所谓的姐姐……有罗夫·罗兰七折的折扣优惠，而我却要付零售价！
Rachel: Ha ha ha. Ah ha ha. It's forty five.
哈哈哈。啊哈哈。是五五折。
Amy: You bitch.
你这个贱♥人。
Amy: You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment.
你就是认为你很完美。拥有你的新生儿，还有你的小公寓。
Amy: Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
让我告诉你一件事。你的婴儿并不怎么可爱。
Ross walks over: Too far, Amy. Too far.
太过分了，艾美，太过分了。
Rachel: You take that back.
你收回那句话。
Amy: No.
不。
Rachel: Take it back!
收回那句话！
Amy: No! What're you gonna do? Make me?
不，你能怎样呢？强迫我吗？
Rachel: Heey man, I work out.
嘿，我有上健身房！
Amy: So do I.
我也有。
Rachel: I do pilates.
我有做普拉提。
Amy: I do yoga.
我有做瑜伽。
Rachel: Bring it on!
放马过来！
Monica: Put the plates back in the boxes! Put the plates back in the boxes!
盘子放到箱子里！盘子放到箱子里！
Rachel: Did you just push me?
你刚刚推了我吗？
Amy: Uh, yeah, I think I did.
是的，没错。
Rachel: Alright. Thats it!
好了，够了！
Monica: Forget the bubblewrap! There isn't time!
别管泡泡包装了！没有时间了！
Rachel: Frizzy frizzy frizzy frizzy!
卷发，卷发，卷发！
Phoebe: Oh my gosh! Shouldn't we stop this?
我们应该阻止她们吗？
Joey: What? Are you out of your mind? Let's throw some jello on them.
什么？你疯了吗？我们应该倒一些果冻到她们身上！
Phoebe: Hey, someone can get hurt.
嘿，有人会受伤的。
Ross: Kick her, Rachel, kick her!
踢她，瑞秋！踢她！
Joey: Pull her top off, Rachel! Pull her top off!
把她上衣脱掉，瑞秋！把她上衣脱掉！
Rachel: Ew! Gross.
恶心！
Chandler: Alright! That is it.
好了，到此为止。
Chandler: This is our apartment and you can not behave this way.
这是我们家，你们不可以有这种行为！
Chandler: Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all.
如果你们不能表现得像成人，你们就不应该在这里。
Chandler: Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out, but they're very important to Monica.
那些瓷盘或许没有像我挑的那些粉红色瓷盘好看……但是它们对莫妮卡很重要。
Chandler: And I want you to apologize to her right now.
而我要你们现在就跟她道歉。
Amy: I'm sorry.
我很抱歉。
Rachel: Mon, I'm so sorry.
莫妮卡，我很抱歉。
Chandler: Ok. That's better.
好了，这样好多了。
Chandler: Now I want you to apologize to each other and mean it.
现在，我要你们诚心地跟彼此道歉。
Chandler: Amy and Rachel: Sorry.
对不起，对不起。
Chandler: By the way, that fight was totally arousing.
对了，刚才那场架真是让人情欲高涨。
Ross: Dude. Well done.
老兄。干的好。
Ross: You know what? If-if I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies you can totally take care of Emma.
你知道吗？如果我跟瑞秋还有莫妮卡死了，你可以照顾艾玛。
Chandler: Oh yeah? Well thanks.
是吗？谢谢。
Ross: So, so now do I get Joey?
那…… 那我可以得到乔伊吗？
Chandler: Ok, but you should know he eats five times a day and shoves pennies up his nose.
好的，但是你得知道他一天吃五餐，而且还会塞硬币到鼻孔里。
Rachel: Are you ok Mon?
你还好吗，莫妮卡？
Monica: Uh huh...I mean these things happen.
这种事常发生的。
Monica: I mean it's just a plate, not like somebody died.
只不过是盘子而已，又不像是有人死了。
Phoebe: That's all right. You can mourn.
没关系的，你可以哀悼的。
Monica: Thank you. It was so beautiful.
谢谢你。这些本来都很漂亮的。
Monica: I'm gonna go to Joeys and get the pies.
我要去乔伊家拿几个馅饼。
Joey: Actually not pies, it's just pie.
事实上，不是几个馅饼，是一个馅饼。
Monica: I don't care.
我不在乎。
Monica: Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold.
天啊，我已经失去唠叨的力气了。
Rachel: Look Amy, got a little um, it's out of control over there...Um...and I'm sorry.
听着，艾美……我们有一点……失去了理智……我很抱歉。
Rachel: You're my sister and uh...if it really means that much to you...
你是我妹妹……如果你真的很在乎……
Amy: So you're gonna give me the baby?
那你要给我你的婴儿了吗？
Rachel: No, I was, I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount.
不，我只是……我只是要让你用我的罗夫·罗兰折扣。
Amy: You are not gonna regret this.
你不会后悔的。
Rachel: She needs changing.
她要换尿布了。
Chandler: Oh no no, I'll get her. I'm super-compentent, totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma.
不，不，不，让我去。我超级有自信，完全有责任感，而且是扶养艾玛第四位置的人。
Chandler: I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here.
我马上就来，艾玛。先让我拿一下我的尿片袋子。
Chandler: Well, what'd you know? I guess I'll be the one who dies first.
你们知道吗？我想我将是第一个死的人。
Phoebe: Hey, does Monica know about her broken plates yet?
嘿，莫妮卡知道瓷盘的事吗？
Chandler: Nope.
不知道。
Phoebe: Broke them all, huh?
全都打破了，是吗？
Chandler: Yep.
是的。
Phoebe: You gonna tell her?
你要告诉她吗？
Chandler: Nope. Hey, so, I'm gonna...put the plates back.
不想。嘿，我要把这些盘子放回去。
Chandler: You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a long time.
我想你是对的，我们近期内不应该再用这些盘子。
Monica: Like only if the queen comes?
只有女王来的时候才用吗？
Chandler: Maybe not even then.
或许那也不是时候。
Joey: Hey! I did it.
嘿，我办到了！
Joey: I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it.
我告诉我的制作人说我家里发生紧急事件，他完全相信我。
Joey: Thanks for teaching me how to lie Phoebe.
谢谢你教我如何说谎。
Phoebe: No problem! Next week, stealing...
不用客气！下星期教你偷窃……
Monica: Bye plates!
再见，盘子！
Joey: Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh?
你告诉她你打破所有的盘子了？
Monica: What? Something happened with the plates?
什么？盘子发生什么事了吗？
Joey: Uhm...Yeah...this uhm...raccoon came in.
嗯……是呀……是因为嗯……浣熊进来了。