Chandler: Hey!
嘿！
Ross: Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we, can we talk about what happened here last night?
嗯！嗯！好啦！当然！听着！我们可以谈谈昨晚这里发生的事吗？
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you!
当然！给我几秒钟让我变得跟你一样，怒气冲天、怪里怪气的！
Chandler: Do you believe that who ever did something over here last night did what they did or didn't do I mean come on!
你敢相信某某人昨天晚上做了某某事吗？
Ross: Oh, OK you...you, you really don't know what I am talking about?
你真的不知道我在说什么吗？
Chandler: No.
不知道。
Ross: OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.
好的，昨天晚上，在派对过后我看到瑞秋在你家的阳台上，亲她办公室的那个混♥蛋。
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously?
在我家阳台？真的吗？
Chandler: That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony.
真是好玩，我告诉莫妮卡我们应该在阳台上加个灯的。
Chandler: And she said "No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said: "Maybe if we put some lights out there they will."
可是她说“不不，外面太冷了，没有人会站到外面去的。”然后我说：“如果我们加个灯或许就会有人了。”
Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about.
对，那就是我要谈的事。
Ross: Hum, I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony, even though there were no lights!
我看到瑞秋亲吻一个男的，就在你家阳台上，即使那里一片漆黑！
Chandler: So, are you gonna...talk to her?
那你要跟她谈谈吗？
Ross: Why? Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
为什么？为什么我要？如果她要找寻新生活，没关系！
Chandler: You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits!
你知道“没关系”要怎样说才有说服力吗？喷着口水用力吼！
Ross: No! I'm-I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people, Fine! I don't care but she...at least she could've told me, you know I-I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma.
不！我是说真的。如果她想要跟别人约会，没关系！我不在乎但是至少她要跟我说啊。你知道的，我的生活都已经停摆，注意力完全集中在艾玛身上。
Ross: but if she wants to go out there kissing guys she barely knows, then so will I!
但是如果她要去亲那些不是很熟的男人，我也要那样做！
Ross: Very funny! Ross is gay! Ha ha!
很好笑！罗斯是同性恋！哈哈！
Chandler: No no no. Good. So you're moving on? Do you have any idea where you're moving on to?
不，很好，所以你也要有新的生活了。你知道你要怎么样过新生活吗？
Ross: I don't know. I mean I got plenty of opportunities.
我不知道。我是有很多机会的，
Ross: I mean just-just now, just know, there were some woman at the coffee house smiled at me.
刚刚在咖啡厅就有个女人对我笑。
Ross: And then the other day on the subway, a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
还有一天在地铁，有个女人 “不小心”坐到我的手。
Chandler: Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life!
老兄，别再跟我说你疯狂的单身生活了！
Ross: Well, and then, how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmental Potluck dinner.
好吧，那么，这个怎么样？在学校有个人类学家在跨部门餐会的时候不停在勾搭我。
Chandler: Why did I get married? !
我为什么要结婚呢？！
Joey: Hey! Let me ask you guys something.
嘿！让我问你们一个问题，
Joey: I have a new head-shots taken tomorrow right, and the photographer said that she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?
我明天要拍新的大头照，摄影师说，她觉得我应该要修眉毛。男生那样做是不是很怪呢？
Phoebe: Well it depends.
嗯，那要看情况。
Joey: On...?
什么情况？
Phoebe: On how far along he's in the sex change process!
看他是在变性过程中的什么阶段啰！
Monica: No, I totally disagree. No I-I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that.
不，我完全不同意。我觉得男生那样做没有什么。
Monica: Such you're an actor. I mean not that you need to, your eyebrows are...
尤其是演员。我不是说你有那个必要，你的眉毛……
Joey: Well ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out!
好了！你们别这样！别盯着我看！要吓死我了。
Phoebe: Oh your knuckles are kinda hairy too...
你的手指上也有毛...
Joey: Oh man! Now I have to get those done too? !
天啊，现在我也要除这些毛吗？！
Phoebe: Wow! Talking about high maintenance.
哇！你要做的改造可不少啊。
Joey: Hey hey hey! You dye your hair!
你也染发啊！
Phoebe: I'm a woman!
我是女人啊！
Joey: Arghhh! Double standards!
双重标准！
Phoebe: Oh, before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?
差点忘记，你今晚会去麦克的钢琴酒吧吗？
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
只要我不需要上台唱歌。
Phoebe: But everybody sings. It's so much fun!
但是大家都要唱歌啊，会很好玩的！
Phoebe: Last time this adorable old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped out and everyone booed him off the stage. It's so funny.
上次有个可爱的老先生上台，忘了所有的台词，糗呆了，然后大家就嘘他下台。真是好玩。
Monica: But I'm just, I'm not good at singing.
听着，我唱歌不行的。
Phoebe: Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? Huh?
喔，怎样？你怕了吗？
Phoebe: You're afraid I'm a better singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?
怕我唱的比你好吗？怕我会用唱歌打败你吗？
Monica: No, no, it's-it's not working on me.
不，这招对我没用。
Monica: Wow! I must be growing up!
哇！我一定是长大了！
Phoebe: OK, fine! Just, please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
好吧，就过来支持麦克就好了，你不需要唱歌。
Monica: Wait- So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
所以我不用唱歌，而且还可以坐在那里讨论、批评其他人？
Phoebe: While drinking.
还可以一边喝酒。
Monica: Huh, I'm there!
我要去！
Rachel: Hi you guys! Listen, I really need your help. I think I did something really stupid.
嘿，你们好，我需要你们的帮忙。我想我做了一件很蠢的事。
Phoebe: Well yes Rachel but you got something so beautiful out there.
嗯，是的，瑞秋，但是至少她很漂亮。
Rachel: No, not that. You guy, I kissed Gavin last night.
不，不是那件事，我昨晚亲了盖文。
Phoebe: Oh my god.
我的天。
Monica: You kissed him?
你亲了他？
Rachel: Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and...
是啊，就在派对结束之后，我们在阳台上……
Monica: Wait wait wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I missed that?
等等，我一直都在家，为什么没看到？
Phoebe: Well, it was the end of the party, you were probably ironing wrapping paper.
派对才刚结束，你可能正忙着烫平包装纸。
Monica: Oh, yeah...
喔，是啊……
Monica: So, how did you end up kissing?
那你们怎么会亲起来的呢？
Rachel: Well, we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf...
我们单独在一起，然后他又很体贴，然后又送我这条围巾……
Monica: I-I thought you hated him?
我以为你讨厌他？
Rachel: Well you know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf!
爱与恨之间只有一线之隔，而结果，那条线就是这围巾！
Monica: So are-are you thinking of starting something up with this guy?
你在想要跟这男的交往吗？
Rachel: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross. I don't know what to do.
我不知道，真是太复杂了，这男的是我同事耶，我已经有小孩，有罗斯。我不知道该怎么办。
Rachel: And I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.
而我再过十分钟就要进办公室见到盖文了。
Monica: Wow. Sounds like you need to think about what you want, and talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross.
听起来你应该想想，要怎么跟盖文说了，而且你一定得要跟罗斯说。
Rachel: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...
或者……我可以打电话请病假，那就不用管了……
Phoebe: Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss a co-worker, and call in sick, they are lucky to have you!
哇！请了五个月的产假，才回去上班四天……亲了一个同事就请病假，他们有你这个员工真幸运！
Joey: Hi.
嗨。
Salon girl: Hi.
嗨。
Joey: Hey uh. I'm here for my eyebrow appointment.
我有预约修眉毛。
Salon girl: Name?
什么姓名？
Joey: Chandler Bing.
钱德·宾。
Salon girl: Ok. Very good.
好的，很好。
Salon girl: Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.
请先坐一下，宾先生，桑妮亚很快就出来了。
Joey: OK, Thanks.
好的，谢谢。
Salon girl: Uh huh.
嗯哼。
Joey: I-I touched the stuff.
我碰了那东西。
Sonia: I'll take care of it.
让我来处理。
Joey: Thanks.
谢谢。
Joey: So do you uh, do you get a lot of guys in here?
那你们……你们这里有很多男生会来吗？
Sonia: Oh, absolutely.
喔，当然。
Joey: Oh, good.
喔，很好。
Sonia: Yeah, Are you looking to meet somebody?
你想要认识他们吗？
Joey: All right, let's just do this.
好了，我们开始吧。
Sonia: Ok, uh, we'll get to the wax in a minute.
好的，我们等一下再上热蜡。
Sonia: First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok?
首先我要先拔一些杂毛，好吗？
Sonia: Now this may sting just a little bit...
这可能会有点痛……
Joey: Please, I have an extremely high threshold...
我很可以忍痛……
Joey: Holly Mother Of God! Oh! My face! My face! Oh! Huh!
我的妈啊！喔，我的脸！我的脸！
Joey: I'm all right! I'm all right! I'm all right, just a ohm...bit of shock, that's all.
我没事，我没事，我没事，只是有点吓到，没什么。
Joey: But uh I'll be fine, you can go again, I'm OK.
但是我没事，你可以继续了。
Sonia: Ok.
好的。
Joey: Damn it! Woman! Aw! Awww!
可恶！你这女人！
Chandler: Hey hey, it's the most eligible man in New York.
全纽约最有身价的单身汉来了。
Chandler: How's the moving on going?
新生活进行得如何呢？
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
不太好，在地铁上又有个人坐到我的手，但是，这个人既不是女性也没有穿内♥裤。
Chandler: Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it.
或许你完全错估形势了。我是说，你想想看。
Chandler: Single white male, divorced three times, two illegitimate children.
单身白种男性，离婚三次，有两个非婚生子女。
Chandler: The personal ad writes itself....
你应该要自己心里有数的……
Ross: You know, that's funny...so, do you think you'll ever work again?
真是好笑，是啊，那你觉得你这辈子会找到工作吗？
Chandler: What're you doing? You know I can only dish it out!
你在干嘛？你知道我们会斗个没完的。
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and-and didn't say anything to me.
我不敢相信，瑞秋就这样抛下我们的过去，而且没有跟我说。
Chandler: Look, maybe she didn't move on, you know?
或许她并没有抛下，你明白吗？
Chandler: I mean maybe that kiss was just an impulsive one-time birthday thing.
或许那只是冲动之下吻的，过生日才发生一次的那种。
Ross: No, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
不，一个月以前，她还把电话号码留给一个在酒吧认识的男的。
Chandler: Did she go out with him?
她有跟他出去吗？
Ross: No. When he called, I...I threw the message away.
没有，当他打电话来时……我把留言丢了。
Chandler: Ah! The high road.
真是厉害啊！
Ross: Aw, you know what? Enough! Enough talking! I-I have to get moving!
你知道吗？够了，说够了！我要展开新生活了。
Ross: Hey check out those two blondes over there!
嘿，瞧瞧那两个金发美♥女！
Ross: Hey, come with me!
嘿，跟我一起过去！
Chandler: Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
你要害每个人都离婚吗？
Ross: Come on, you don't have to do anything.
你不用做什么。
Ross: It'll just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? First you uh...you break the ice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and then I swoop in with some interesting conversation, so they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one.
但是我们两个一起过去会比较好。就像大学一样，记得吗？你先过去说笑话热场面。让她们知道你是好玩的人，然后我再插入有趣的话题。让她们知道我既聪明，有教养又性感。
Chandler: I thought I got to make the jokes.
我还以为说笑话是我的专利。
Ross: Don't you have to be at work?
你不用上班吗？
Chandler: Oh come on!
拜托，走吧！
Chandler: Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, this's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering, you know if you're up for it.
嗨，我叫钱德，这是我朋友罗斯，我们在想……如果你们有兴趣的话。
Chandler: We only need six more people for a human pyramid...
我们还需要六个人来完成♥人体金字塔……
Chandler: Swoop! Swoop!
接手！接手！
Ross: Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I-I noticed you were reading the paper...uh, another flood in Europe huh?
嘿，我注意到你在看报纸，欧洲又有水灾了，对吗？
Ross: Ohm, here's a question, "Would you...would you rather drown or be burnt alive?"
问题来了，你宁愿被淹死还是被活活烧死？
Blonde girl: I am sorry...we were just leaving.
很抱歉，我们要走了。
Chandler: Ok.
好的。
Chandler: We still got it.
我们还是老样子。
Rachel: Who is it?
是谁？
Gavin: Gavin! I brought you some soup.
盖文，我带一些汤来给你。
Rachel: Why?
为什么？
Gavin: I-I heard you were sick.
我听说你生病了。
Rachel: Oh! Right! Yeah! Hold on, let me just clean up in here a little bit!
喔，对！等一下 让我先整理一下！
Rachel: Hello, Gavin.
嗨，盖文。
Gavin: I missed you at work today. How are you feeling?
今天上班我好想你，你还好吗？
Rachel: I am not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick.
我不想对你说谎，我病得很重。
Gavin: Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me.
喔，好，因为我还担心……你是在装病逃避我。
Rachel: Oh no no no no.
喔，不、不、不。
Gavin: So, I had fun last night.
我昨晚很愉快。
Rachel: So did I.
我也是。
Gavin: Exactly how contagious is this thing you have?
你的病到底传染性有多高呢？
Gavin: I mean is it a cold for standing on the balcony or did a monkey bite you?
是因为站在阳台上受凉了，还是被猴子咬呢？
Rachel: It's just a cold.
只是单纯的感冒。
Gavin: You have a fever?
有发烧吗？
Gavin: Let me see. Ohm...
让我看看……
Rachel: What? What is, what's the matter?
怎么？怎么了，怎么回事？
Gavin: What's Ross doing to you on that picture?
在那张照片中罗斯在对你做什么？
Rachel: Oh, he's dusting me with a fossil brush.
喔，他在用化石刷子帮我除尘。
Rachel: He thought it would be funny.
他觉得那样很好玩。
Gavin: Right. Right. Ross.
是啊，是的，罗斯。
Rachel: Yeah.
是啊。
Gavin: So what's the deal with you guys? I don't wanna get in the middle of anything.
你们之间有什么吗？我不想要当第三者。
Rachel: Oh, you're not, you're not. You're not gonna get in the middle of anything, don't worry about Ross really, really.
喔，你不是，你不是。你不是第三者，别担心罗斯。
Rachel: Oh! Hide! That's Ross! Hide! Hide! Hide!
快躲！是罗斯！躲起来！躲起来！躲起来！
Gavin: Yeah! But you said not to worry about...
是啊！但是你说不用担心...
Rachel: I lied! And I'm not sick either! Just stay behind the curtain!
我说谎！而且我也没有生病！躲到窗帘后面！
Molly: Hi!
嗨！
Rachel: Oh! Molly! You're not Ross.
喔，莫莉，不是罗斯。
Molly: No, I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember?
不是，我是来接艾玛到你妈家的，记得吗？
Rachel: Right, yes, yes!
对，是的，是的！
Molly: Don't panic!
别紧张！
Rachel: What?
怎么了？
Molly: There is a man behind your curtain.
有个男人躲在窗帘后面。
Molly: I have a Mace in my purse.
我皮包里有防狼喷雾。
Rachel: No! That's OK! That's OK! That's OK! No no no no!
不，没关系！不、不、不！
Rachel: No, this is my business associate Gavin. He's just being silly. Gavin, come out from behind that curtains!
不，那是我同事盖文在发神经，出来吧！
Gavin: Hi! Gavin! Pleased to meet you.
嗨！我叫盖文，很高兴认识你。
Gavin: It was my idea to stand there.
是我要站在那里的。
Molly: Oh, hello! I'll, I just go and get Emma.
嗨，我去带艾玛。
Rachel: OK.
好的。
Gavin: So ohm...
那么……
Gavin: Why did I have to hide?
为什么我要躲呢？
Rachel: I thought it was Ross.
我以为那是罗斯。
Gavin: So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between you two.
那如果是呢？我以为你们之间已经没有什么了。
Rachel: There isn't. There totally isn't.
是没有。完全没有。
Gavin: You hear keys in the hall and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time.
你听到钥匙转动的声音，就像野牛一样跳了起来。
Gavin: I used to be a rodeo clown.
我做过斗牛士。
Rachel: Uhm...All right. Look. Gavin.
好的，听着，盖文。
Rachel: I...I guess I-I felt guilty, that you were here, which I shouldn't.
我想，你在这里让我觉得有罪恶感，我这样想是不对的。
Rachel: You know Ross and I are not into relationship but... he is the father of my child, and you know, we- we do live together and plus there is just so much history...you know, it's just... I don't know. I'm sorry.
你知道的，罗斯跟我并没有在交往...他是我孩子的父亲，而且……我们还住在一起，还有，我们有太多过去了，你知道吗？只是……我不知道，我很抱歉。
Rachel: I'm ju-just all over the place.
我头脑很不清楚了。
Gavin: It's OK.
没关系。
Gavin: Now, I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a piece of advice?
这或许不关我的事，但是我可以给你一个建议吗？
Rachel: Yes.
好的。
Gavin: I think you should talk to Ross about all this.
你应该跟罗斯谈这件事。
Rachel: People keep saying that.
大家都这样说。
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry Gavin.
我很抱歉，盖文。
Gavin: Don't be. It's just bad timing.
别抱歉，只是现在不是好时机。
Rachel: So seriously...rodeo clown?
讲真的吗？斗牛士？
Gavin: One of the best, ma'am, one of the best.
技术最棒的，小姐 技术最棒的。
Mike: Oh, she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here.
喔，她是我女朋友。不只是在台上而已。
Mike: Um, all right, I'm gonna take a little break and when we come back we've got Kenneth singing "I Touch Myself."
我要休息一下，当我们回来时 肯尼将要演唱“我自摸”。
Mike: I'm not here to judge.
我不是来当评审的。
Phoebe: Hee-hee, oh you have got to sing.
你一定要上台唱。
Monica: No, I told you I can't.
不，我告诉过你我不行。
Phoebe: But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice.
但是你会很喜欢的，而且你的声音很好啊。
Monica: What have you heard me sing?
你是何时听到我唱歌的？
Phoebe: All the time when you're cooking.
常常，当你在煮饭的时候。
Monica: What?
什么？
Phoebe: Yeah, you're always singing “Yummy, yummy, yummy I've got love in my tummy.”
是啊，你总是一边唱着“好吃，好吃，好吃 我肚子里有爱情。”
Monica: Yeah I do rock that one.
是啊，我那倒是唱得不错。
Phoebe: OK, so isn't there just a little part of you that wants to get up there?
你难道一点都不想要上去唱吗？
Monica: Just a little but...it's just God, it's so scary!
一点而已，但是老天，好可怕喔！
Monica: I mean I-I don't even know what I would sing...
我根本不知道要唱什么……
Mike: Well, I've got a book around...
嗯，我有一本歌本在……
Monica: "Delta Dawn".
“破晓时分”。
Ross: Hi! I uh, I couldn't help but notice, Ah, that's-that's an unusual necklace.
嗨，我不得不注意到你特别的项链。
Woman: You already hit on me an hour ago.
你一个小时前就来搭讪过了。
Ross: Right, so that's a firm "no".
没错，所以确定不要吗？
Ross: I don't believe this, I just keep striking out.
我不敢相信，我一直被拒绝。
Chandler: I don't get it either,
我也不敢相信，
Chandler: I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they wanna be killed.
我是说，很明显地你是很饥渴了，你问女人她们想要如何死法。
Ross: Oh, this is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants and I'm-I'm gonna die alone.
太棒了，瑞秋继续去亲男人，直到她找到她想要的男人，而我将孤单地死去。
Chandler: By drowning or...?
是淹死还是……？
Michelle: Why would he break up with me?
他为什么要跟我分手呢？
Her friend: I don't know sweetie.
我不知道，亲爱的。
Michelle: All I ever wanted was just love him and have him love me back.
我要的只不过是爱他，希望他也爱我。
Michelle: I mean, am I so unlovable?
我是说，我有这么不值得爱吗？
Chandler: Wow.
哇。
Ross: I know!
我知道！
Mike: All right, that was Kenneth with his much too literal rendition of "I touch myself".
好了，以上是肯尼所带来的即兴表演“我自摸”。
Mike: Coming up next we've got Monica singing "Delta Dawn".
接下来是莫妮卡演唱“破晓时分”。
Monica: But wait wait! I can't sing in front of all these people.
等等！我不能在这些人面前唱。
Phoebe: Well just pretend they're not even here!
假装他们不在！
Phoebe: It's OK once that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyone anyway.
没关系的。一旦聚光灯照到你，会很亮的，反正你也看不到任何人。
Monica: Hi! I'm Monica and I'm going to be singing Delta Dawn.
嗨！我是莫妮卡，我要唱的是“破晓时分”。
Phoebe: Can you totally see through her shirt?
你可以看穿她的上衣吗？
Mike: Like an X-Ray.
像X光一样。
Mike: Bad day not to wear a bra.
今天不是不♥穿内衣的好日子。
Chandler: I'm calling about the advertising job?
我打来询问广告工作的。
Chandler: Yes, I realize it would be entry level.
是的，我了解这是基层职务。
Chandler: Oh, so would I actually have to wear the chicken suit?
喔，所以我真的要穿小鸡装吗？
Joey: Hey, I need your help.
嘿，我需要你的帮忙。
Chandler: Wow, it seems serious.
哇，看起来很严重。
Chandler: What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd?
是怎么了呢？艾什莉·贾德（好莱坞女星）？
Joey: Ok look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right? So I went to get my eyebrows shaped.
我要照新的大头照，所以我去修了眉毛。
Chandler: I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please!
很抱歉，让我笑一下吧！
Joey: I may be a sissy but I still pound you into the ground.
我看起来可能娘娘腔的，但是我还是可以海扁你的。
Joey: All right. Look, it hurt so bad, I could only let her do one eyebrow, and now... they don't match!
好吧，听着，好痛喔，我只能让她做一边 所以就……两边不对称了！
Chandler: It's like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama!
就像是毛毛虫宝宝在追妈妈一样！
Joey: All right, look, you gotta help me out, ok? Look, I have a magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one so I don't look stupid for my pictures.
你得要帮我，好吗？看，我有马克笔，帮我把细的这边划粗照起相来才不会很蠢。
Chandler: Ok. First of all, this is green!
好的，但是，首先这是绿色的！
Joey: Aw! Oh what the hell am I supposed to do!
我他妈的该怎么办呢！
Chandler: All right, I will help you out, but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
我会帮你的，但是你要答应我，不会把我要告诉你的事说出去。
Joey: What, what?
什么事？什么事？
Joey: Okay.
好了。
Chandler: you know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage, well, I earned mine by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his "business" partners.
你知道大部分的小孩都是利用除草或是倒垃圾什么的……来赚取零用钱，而我赚零用钱的方式就是帮我父亲，还有他的“合伙人”拔眉毛。
Joey: Oh my God!
喔，我的天！
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess you don't need my help Victor Victoria!
好的，我猜你不需要我的帮忙了 “双面俏佳人”！
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don't know if I can take anymore plucking. It hurts so bad!
不、不、不，我要，我要 我需要你的帮忙，但是钱德，我不知道能不能再忍受拔毛，真的好痛！
Chandler: Oh, not with my combination of ice cubes, Aloe vera and my gentle self-loathing touch.
放心，有我的冰块跟芦荟配方，加上……连自己也厌恶的温柔接触。
Monica: I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there?
我很抱歉，歌唱完了。你有看到我在上面吗？
Phoebe: Every little bit of you!
全身上下看通透！
Monica: I-I can't believe I did it. I can't believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me!
我不敢相信我在大家面前唱歌，而且他们喜欢我！
Monica: Hey, did you hear that one guy shouting "look at those tips"!
你们有听到还有人大喊 “瞧瞧那些小费（意同乳♥头）”吗？
Monica: I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
我是说，我有帮你多赚小费吗？
Mike: Sure.
当然有。
Phoebe: Ok, Mon, not that you didn't sound good. Monica: Good?
莫妮卡，不是说你唱的不好…… 不好？
Monica: Didn't you hear them...I was great!
你没有听到他们的叫声吗？我棒透了！
Monica: Oh, thank you so much for making me do this. That's is the best gift, ever.
谢谢你逼我这样做，这是我有过最好的礼物了。
Mike: Also a good gift? Underwear.
内衣也会是好礼物。
Michelle: Thank you so much for letting me do this.
谢谢你让我过来。
Michelle: Public bathrooms freak me out, I can't even pee, let alone do anything else.
公共厕所让我觉得很恶心，我根本没有办法上厕所，更别说其他的。
Ross: But, what's great is you don't mind talking about it.
但是更棒的是，你根本不介意说出来。
Michelle: God, it's so amazing that I met you on the same day that Eric broke up with me, cause it's like you lose a boyfriend, you get a boyfriend.
这真是太神奇了，在我跟艾瑞克分手的这一天，我就遇见了你，这就是，失去一个男朋友又得到一个男朋友。
Ross: Uh-ah!
啊哈！
Michelle: No-no-no don't worry, this is not some rebound thing. I am totally over Eric.
你不用担心，这不是替补疗伤法，我已经完全不爱艾瑞克了。
Ross: Pfew. Good choice Ross.
挑的真好，罗斯。
Rachel: Oh, hey! Hi, there you are, I've been looking for you everywhere!
嘿，嗨，你在家，我到处在找你！
Ross: Oh, yeah, hello, well, here, here I am.
嘿，我在家。
Rachel: Hey, listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o'clock.
我妈到九点才会把孩子带过来。
Rachel: So, I was hoping you and I could have a chance to kinda talk? Somebody here?
所以我希望，我们可以有机会谈谈？有人在这里吗？
Ross: Oh, yeah, yeah, that's Michelle.
是的，是蜜雪儿。
Rachel: Who?
谁？
Ross: Oh, just this woman I've been seeing.
喔，是我最近在约会的女生。
Rachel: you are being seeing someone?
你有在约会？
Ross: Yeah, didn't I mention that?
是啊，我没有提过吗？
Ross: Yeah, yeah, uh-uh, I mean, we haven't being going out too long, but uh really there is this amazing connection between us.
我是说，我们并没有约会很久，但是我们之间有很奇妙的感情。
Ross: Um, I-I mean, in fact just before you came in she called me her boyfriend.
而且就在你进来之前，她才说我是她男朋友。
Ross: I thought it was a little too soon, but also, you know, felt kind of nice.
我是觉得有点太快，但是觉得也不错。
Michelle: What are you taking penicillin for?
你为什么要用青霉素呢？
Ross: How great is this? You're, you're already comfortable enough to, to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, this's my roommate, Rachel.
真是太棒了，你已经可以自在的偷看我的东西了。很抱歉，蜜雪儿 这位是我室友，瑞秋。
Rachel: Hi, and I am also Emma's mother.
而且我也是艾玛的母亲。
Michelle: Ah, who is Emma?
艾玛是谁呢？
Ross: Oh, I-I, I told you about my daughter.
我跟你说过，是我的女儿。
Michelle: Ah, this is your daughter? I can be your new mummy!
这位是你女儿？我可以当你的新妈妈喔！
Chandler: And done!
好了！
Joey: Oh my God!
我的天！
Joey: I didn't feel a thing! Hey, are you still looking for a job? 'cause you can tweezers circles around that sadistic bitch at the salon.
我根本都没感觉，嘿，你还在找工作吗？你比那个美容厅的臭娘们会拔多了。
Chandler: Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like?
谢谢，想要看看吗？
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, they totally match! They look great! They look great! How you doing!
好啊，对称了，很好看耶，看起来真棒！你好吗？
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried that I was uh uncovering a birthmark right about there, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.
是啊，我觉得看起来挺不错的，我本来有点担心会让这上面的胎记露出来，但原来那只是一点巧克力渣。
Joey: Hey Chandler, thank you so much.
钱德，真是感谢你。
Chandler: No problem.
不用客气。
Joey: Listen uh, that's a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should probably do some manly make up for it.
听着，我们刚花了一小时做女人的事，我们应该做一些男人的事来弥补。
Chandler: Yeah.
是啊。
Joey: Comb my eyelashes.
把睫毛梳一下。
Chandler: Yeah.
好啊！
Monica: Ok, for my next song I think I'll sing something a little more upbeat. All right?
下一首歌我想唱比较轻快的，好吗？
Monica: Uhm, oh, how about the Pointer Sisters' "I am so excited".
唱庞特姐妹的“我很兴奋”怎样呢？
Monica: And make it bouncy!
弹得活泼一点哦！
Phoebe: Oh you'll probably take care of that on your hand.
嗯，你自己就可以办得到了。
Chandler: I am sorry I am late. You'll understand when you see Joey.
很抱歉我迟到了，等一下你看到乔伊就知道为什么了。
Monica: Honey, honey, you're just in time, I'm about to sing another song!
亲爱的，你正好赶上，我正要唱另一首歌！
Chandler: Really? In front of all this people?
真的？在所有人面前吗？
Monica: And they love me!
而且他们很喜欢我！
Chandler: Oh my God!
我的天！
Phoebe: Yes, she gives the people what they want.
她给的正是他们想要的。
Monica: All right, watch!
好的，看着！
Chandler: Are those my wife's nipples?
那是我老婆的乳♥头吗？
Phoebe: Oh? Isn't that funny? I didn't see that before, I wouldn't have let her go up again.
真是好玩，我之前怎么没有注意到？要不然我不会让她上去的。
Chandler: I gotta stop this.
我必须要制止她。
Monica: Oh, who cares, they still love me!
管他的，他们还是爱我！
Monica: You, touching yourself! Out!
你，在自摸！出去！
Rachel: Wow. She does that a lot!
哇！她这么常上厕所！
Michelle: Ross, you didn't tell me you were a doctor!
罗斯，你没有告诉我你是博士。
Rachel: Whh-wh, wait a minute! You haven't even told her that you are a doctor yet?
等一下！你还没有告诉她你是博士？
Rachel: How long have you known her, like an hour?
你认识她多久呢？一个小时吗？
Michelle: Actually about an hour and a half.
事实上是一个小时半。
Ross: I-I told you it wasn't long, but uh there is an amazing connection between us.
我告诉过你了时间不长，但是我们之间有很奇妙的感觉。
Michelle: You feel that too? Oh, I thought that was just me!
你也有感觉到吗？我以为只是我单方面而已！
Ross: Are you, are you kidding?
你开玩笑吗？
Michelle: Oh. Hey, do you wanna go away this weekend?
你想要这周末一起去度假吗？
Ross: We'll see.
再说。
Ross: Ok, Ross, what's going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
罗斯，这是怎么回事呢？我们现在是可以带陌生女人回家了吗？
Ross: I don't know, are we just kissing guys on balconies?
我不知道，我们现在是可以在阳台上亲吻男人了吗？
Rachel: How do you know about that?
你怎么会知道呢？
Ross: Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep...
我有神奇之眼！我在这里，把我们的女儿哄睡……
Michelle: Emma.
艾玛。
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
当我从窗户看过去，就看到你在亲一个男的，一个你认识有多久的男生，为什么？一星期吗？
Rachel: Oh, God, is that what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me?
天啊，这就是原因吗？你带她回来报复我吗？
Michelle: No, actually, see, I had to pee, cause I can't use public bathrooms because the doodle parasites.
不，事实上是我要上厕所，而我又不能上公共厕所，因为有寄生虫。
Ross: Ok, Michelle, it's time to go.
好了，蜜雪儿，你该走了。
Michelle: Well, call me!
那，打电话给我！
Ross: Ok.
好的。
Michelle: No, wait, you don't have my phone number!
等等，你没有我的电话！
Ross: Um, you know what, if it's meant to be, I'll guess it. Bye-bye.
你知道吗？如果是命中注定，我会猜到的。再见。
Rachel: Score.
高招。
Ross: Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we could come to one of your kissing parties on the balcony.
你不喜欢她吗？我还希望我们可以去参加你的阳台亲吻派对。
Rachel: Oh God, you know what, I can not believe you're making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time!
我不敢相信你竟然小题大作，只不过是一个吻！跟一个人，一次而已！
Ross: Oh, really? !
喔，真的吗？！
Rachel: Yeah.
是啊。
Ross: Oh, really? !
喔，真的？
Rachel: Oh yeah!
喔，真的！
Ross: What about the guy from the bar?
那个酒吧认识的男的呢？
Rachel: What? who?
什么！谁？
Ross: The guy you gave your number to.
你给他电话号码的那一个。
Rachel: How do you know about that?
你是怎么知道的？
Ross: Because he called here looking for you.
因为他打来找你。
Ross: So don't tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing, ok?
所以别跟我说，你亲这个男同事只是一次而已。
Ross: Cause you've been out there in-in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you don't even have the courtesy to tell me.
因为你又在酒吧，又在阳台上，已经一个多月了，而你根本就没有礼貌性地告诉我。
Rachel: Why didn't I get that message?
为什么我没有拿到留言？
Ross: What?
什么？
Rachel: From the guy in the bar, why didn't I get that message?
那个酒吧的男的留言？为什么我没有拿到留言？
Ross: Because I folded it up and put it in my pants pocket, do you do you not look there?
因为我折起来放到裤子口袋里了。你没有去找过吗？
Rachel: Ross?
罗斯？
Ross: I never gave it to you.
我没有拿给你
Rachel: Why?
为什么？
Ross: I don't, I don't know.
我不知道。
Rachel: Oh God. You know what?
天啊，你知道吗？
Ross: Who you think you are? Who are you, to decide what messages I should or should not get?
你以为你是谁呢？谁让你有权决定什么留言我该收或是不该？
Ross: Who am I?
我是谁？
Rachel: Yes.
是的。
Ross: I am the guy who's taking care of our baby while you're out at bars meeting guys!
我是那个照顾我们孩子的人。而你却在酒吧跟男人混！
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe you. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with you about us!
我真不敢相信，我回来希望能够跟你成熟的谈谈我们之间！
Rachel: But I can't do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
但是我不能跟会藏我留言，还会带疯女人回我公寓的人谈！
Ross: Hey! None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me!
嘿，正常的人没有一个要跟我回来！
Ross: That's, that's not the point. OK?
这不是重点好吗？
Ross: The point is, you, you are the one who moved on and didn't tell anyone!
重点是……是你抛下我们的过去，而你却没有说！
Rachel: Oh God, Ross, this is just so messed up!
天啊，罗斯，这真是糟透了！
Rachel: Uh, what is wrong with us?
我们是怎么了？
Rachel: You know when people hear about our situation they always ask?
当大家知道我们的情况都会问吗？
Rachel: What, you live together but you're not a couple? And you have a baby, isn't that weird? And I say you know-you know what, it's not, because it works for us!
你们住在一起，不是一对，但是你们又有小孩，不是很奇怪吗？我会说，不会，我们都没问题！
Rachel: But you know what, this doesn't work.
但是你知道吗？是有问题的。
Rachel: In fact this is the-the opposite of working!
事实上，还正好相反咧！
Ross: Uh, clearly.
的确如此。
Rachel: And you know, we said that we would, we would live together as long as this makes sense and maybe this just doesn't make sense anymore.
你也知道。我们有说过只要一切没问题，我们就会一直住在一起，然而，或许一切不再是没问题了。
Ross: Yeah, maybe not.
是啊，或许不再是了。
Ross: So what you wanna do?
那你想要怎样呢？
Joey: Hey!
嗨！
Rachel: Hi.
嗨。
Rachel: Can Emma and I live here for a while?
我跟艾玛可以过来住一阵子吗？
Joey: God. Huhh, of course.
天啊。当然可以。
Rachel: Thank you.
谢谢你。
Rachel: Your eyebrows look weird.
你的眉毛很奇怪。