Joey: Morning, roomier!
室友早！
Rachel: Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning.
嘿！今天早上你记得穿上衣服了。
Joey: Fifth day's a charm.
第五天终于记得了。
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
能够搬回来真好，你帮了我跟艾玛一个大忙。
Joey: Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night?
你能够搬回来也真好。你要待多久就待多久。她是什么时候才不会哭一整晚呢？
Ross: Hey, you're not naked!
嘿！你没有光着屁♥股！
Ross: So, hey, Raych, when-when will we expect to see you tonight?
瑞秋，你今晚什么时候会回来？
Rachel: Well, I'll probably be back to pick her up around six, but she's in the bedroom all ready to go.
大概六点吧，她在房间里已经准备好了。
Rachel: But she did actually fall back to sleep, so...
她又睡着了，所以……
Joey: She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night.
可能是因昨晚美妙的哭声而累坏了。
Rachel: Bye!
再见！
Ross: Bye!
再见！
Ross: Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you.
嘿，我希望艾玛没有带来太多麻烦。
Joey: No, hey, it's been great.
没，嘿，一切都很好。
Ross: Yeah?
是嘛？
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, ok?
我只想让你知道，虽然瑞秋住在这边，但是我之前对她的感觉早就已经没了，好吗？
Joey: And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
即使本来还有，当你看到一个女人用吸奶器……
Ross: Yeah, that'll do it.
是啊，没错。
Joey: Wow! So how are you?
哇！那你怎样呢？
Ross: I'm, I'm ok.
不错啊。
Joey: Really?
真的吗？
Ross: Sure, I mean, you know, do I wish me and Rachel living together would've worked out?
当然，我有没有希望过和瑞秋快乐地住在一起？
Ross: Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like uh, it's a divorce.
当然有。你知道的，我是有点失望，但是这又不像是离婚。
Joey: Well, actually it...
嗯，事实上这……
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce!
这不是离婚，这不是离婚！
Ross: Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
不管怎样，反正我认为我跟瑞秋应该要过自己的生活，或许开始跟其他人交往。
Joey: Wow, really?
哇，真的吗？
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
当然，为何不呢？事实上，你有认识适合我的人吗……
Joey: Sure, I know lots of girls.
当然，我认识很多女生。
Ross: Yeah? Any names come to mind?
脑海中有浮现任何名字吗？
Joey: Ooh, names?
名字？
Phoebe: Hey.
嘿。
Joey: Hey.
嗨。
Joey: I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something?
我才正要吃点东西，你要吗？
Phoebe: What you got?
你有什么呢？
Joey: Ok, let's see, we got strained peas, strained carrots...Ooh! Strained plums. We haven't tried that yet.
好的，让我看看，我们有豆子泥，胡萝卜泥……喔！梅子泥。我们还没有试过这个。
Phoebe: Goody!
好棒！
Phoebe: Thanks.
谢谢。
Phoebe: So, how is it living with Rachel again?
跟瑞秋再住一起如何呢？
Phoebe: I mean, apart from the great food?
我是说，除了有很多好吃的之外？
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross.
很好，很好，只是，只是她跟罗斯之间真的是很诡异。
Joey: You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
昨天他要我介绍女生给他。
Phoebe: Oh my God, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her, too.
瑞秋也问我有没有男生可以介绍给她。
Joey: Why are they doing this?
他们为什么要这样呢？
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
不知道，他们彼此再适合不过了，真是神经。
Joey: You know what's crazy?
你知道什么才神经？
Joey: These jars. What is it, like two bites in here?
这些罐子？才两口就没了？
Phoebe: I just wish they'd realize they should be together.
我只希望他们可以发现，彼此是适合在一起的。
Joey: I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured you know, that's where things were headed.
当他们一起住时，我以为事情就解决了。
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family.
他们应该是一家人。
Phoebe: They should get married and have more children.
结婚生更多的小孩。
Joey: Yes. And they should name one of their kids Joey.
是啊，而且该把其中一个取名叫乔伊。
Joey: Hey, I may not have kids. Someone's gotta carry on the family name.
我或许不会有小孩，总是要有人帮我传承家族姓氏吧。
Phoebe: You know what?
你知道吗？
Phoebe: Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realize how good they are for each other.
或许他们一旦开始，跟别人约会，知道别人是怎样的，他们就会发现彼此是多么适合。
Joey: Yeah, because it is slim pickings.
是啊，因为他俩真是绝配啊。
Joey: I had this date last night: Yuck!
我昨晚约会的女生遭透了，讨厌！
Joey: But we should probably keep it down, she's still in the bedroom.
但是应该要说小声一点，她还在房间里面。
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
那我们该怎么做呢？我们要帮他们介绍人吗？
Joey: I know; that just pushes them further and further apart.
我知道，这样只会使他们渐行渐远。
Phoebe: Yeah...
是啊……
Phoebe: Oh, I know what we can do.
我知道要怎么做了。
Phoebe: We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realize how good they are together.
我们可以帮罗斯跟瑞秋介绍可怕的人，让他们发觉彼此是很好的。
Joey: Ooh, that's a great plan!
真是好计划！
Phoebe: Yeah,
没错。
Phoebe: you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh."
你知道最棒的是什么吗？我可以来个计划成功之笑。
Joey: Shhh! Not so loud, we don't wanna wake her up, uh...
好了，嘘！不要那么大声 不要吵醒……
Rachel: Hey!
嗨！
Monica: Hey!
嗨！
Rachel: Well you guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you?
你们今晚没有计划，对吗？
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married?
为什么你那样以为呢？就因为我们已经结婚了吗？
Chandler: I mean will have you know that we are very hip, happening people.
我是说，我要让你知道，我们是非常时髦好玩的人。
Chandler: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
现在不好意思，我要继续看报上的死亡新闻了。
Rachel: I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Emma tonight.
我会问是因为今晚我需要有人帮我带艾玛。
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
我们当然可以。你要做什么呢？
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
嗯，菲比帮我安排了一个约会。
Monica: Oh my God.
喔，我的天。
Chandler: Wow.
哇哦。
Rachel: Why? What's the big deal?
为什么？有什么不对吗？
Monica: Well, I just figured, cause you and Ross are...
我以为你跟罗斯是……
Rachel: What, slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set.
是怎样？一年半前上过床吗？是啊，那我就全搞定了。
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
我认为你能够去约会是件好事，我是说，听起来很健康。我是说你有你的需要，面对你的女性特质吧！
Monica: You want a job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a résumé!
你要找工作吗？关掉奥普拉脱口秀，然后去寄履历表！
Rachel: So I'll bring her by around seven? Is that ok?
我七点左右带她过来？好吗？
Monica: Oh, it's perfect.
太棒了。
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age.
你们会很开心的，她现在正是可爱的时候。
Rachel: Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock.
有几件事，现在她会吃固体食物了，所以会按时排便。
Rachel: And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh,
还有小心你的头发，因为她喜欢抓。
Rachel: She's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams, bloody murder, but...Thanks, you guys. Have fun.
这时期的她还会在你离开房间的时候大叫，但是……谢谢你们，祝你们玩的开心。
Chandler: Suddenly I, wish I was reading my own name.
突然间，我希望自己的名字在上面。
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
喔，乔伊。
Joey: Hey.
嘿。
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited;
嘿。我好兴奋。
Phoebe: I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
我帮瑞秋约了一个最糟糕的男生。
Joey: All right! Who is he?
好的，是谁呢？
Joey: It's a guy I used to massage. By "massage" I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
是我曾经按♥摩过的一个男的，而“按♥摩”时我得按住他，让他不能转身冲我露出来。
Joey: Ok, ok. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
等你听听我介绍谁给罗斯再说吧。
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
喔，好啊。
Joey: Ok, she's this really boring woman. She's a teacher!
她真是个很无趣的女人，她是个老师！
Phoebe: A teacher?
老师？
Joey: Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies...
她喜欢历史跟外国影片……
Joey: Oh, oh, and she loves puzzles. Huh?
而且她喜欢猜谜游戏，哈？
Come on, who loves puzzles?
拜托，谁会喜欢猜谜游戏呢？
Phoebe: Well, Ross does.
嗯，罗斯喜欢啊。
Phoebe: What...You're-you're ruining the plan!
你毁了计划了！
Phoebe: Joey, you've-you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
乔伊，你把他的天生另一半介绍给他了！
Joey: Oh my God, you're right!
我的天，你说的没错！
Phoebe: Yeah.
是啊。
Phoebe: She even reads for pleasure!
她甚至还喜欢读书！
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
你怎么会认识那种女人呢？
Joey: What-what? I'm not allowed to know smart women?
我不能认识聪明的女人吗？
Phoebe: Joey.
乔伊。
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
在图书馆，我进去上厕所时认识的。
Phoebe: So now what do we do?
那我们现在该怎么办呢？
Joey: Well, ok, I'll-I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else.
嗯，好吧，我打电话跟她说取消，然后再找别人。
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else?
要是我们找不到别人呢？
Phoebe: We'll just tell her the date's off but we don't tell Ross. He'll go to the restaurant and get stood up.
我们只要跟她说约会取消了，但是不要跟罗斯说，他会去餐厅等，然后被放鸽子。
Joey: Ooh...Oh I hear that's bad.
噢唔……真是太坏心了。
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Oh, Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realize how good they have it together.
太棒了！瑞秋会有个很糟糕的约会，罗斯被放鸽子，然后他们会发现，对方才是最好的。
Joey: Ah, yes, the Plan!
是的，好计划！
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan.
这不是圣诞老公公的计划。
Phoebe: No, it's...
不，这是……
Joey: Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.
你知道吗？不太好玩了。
Phoebe: No, I think we killed it.
是不好玩，我们弄僵了。
Chandler: Emma? Emma? Look at me!
艾玛？艾玛？瞧瞧我！
Chandler: Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while.
嗯，我想我要下楼一下子。
Chandler: No, no, no! It's okay! It's okay! I didn't go!
不！没关系！没关系！我没有去！
Chandler: Don't cry, it's just a bit! I'm your Uncle Chandler. Funny is all I have!
别哭，我是开玩笑的！我是你的钱德姑丈，我只会搞笑啊！
Monica: Ok, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth,
好了，让你知道一下，我从明天开始到六号都在排卵。
Monica: So don't touch yourself for the next 48 hours.
所以接下来的四十八小时你可别自♥慰。
Chandler: I don't do that. I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the sixth?
我不自♥慰的。我会试着克制自己。你是说到六号吗？
Monica: Yeah.
是啊。
Chandler: Today is the 6th.
今天就是六号。
Monica: No, it's not.
不，不是。
Chandler: Yes, it's also 2003.
是的，而且是2003年。
Monica: Oh, my God. Today's the 6th?
我的天，今天是六号？
Monica: I may be done ovulating!
我可能已经排完了！
Monica: I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
我在餐厅做的肉类，或许都很有问题。
Chandler: It's ok. Go take the test, see if we're ok.
去做测试，看是不是还好。
Monica: Ok.
好的。
Chandler: Tough crib.
定力不错啊。
Monica: Hey, where are all my ovulation sticks? There's only one here.
嘿，我其他的排卵测试剂呢？只剩下一个了。
Monica: I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.
我可能拿了几个测试看我是不是有排卵。
Monica: Chandler!
钱德！
Chandler: I'm not working! There's not much to do around here!
我没有工作！没事做很痛苦的！
Ross: Sorry. Hey, would you, you want a roll with that or?
抱歉，还需要面包吗？
Ross: Excuse me, um, I'm sorry, is there a woman waiting at the bar?
不好意思，有没有一个女人在吧台那边等人呢？
Ross: Um, someone average height, dark hair, perhaps doing a puzzle?
不高不矮，黑发？可能在玩猜谜游戏？
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
是有个喝醉的中国人。
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
嗯，如果我一小时之后还在这里，帮我请他喝一杯。
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
您要不要再点一杯酒呢？
Ross: I don't know if I should. I don't want to be drunk when I go home alone tonight.
我不知道应不应该，不想喝到醉醺醺的，然后今晚独自回家。
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
被放鸽子了，是吗？
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date.
没有什么，只不过是跟陌生人约会。
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
你担心那个女的一来，看到你就走了吗？
Ross: No!
不！
Monica: We're ok. I'm still ovulating.
还好，我还在排卵。
Chandler: Oh, good, because as of four o'clock this afternoon, I am not.
很好，因为今天下午四点的时候，我没有在排卵。
Monica: So, let's do this.
那我们来进行吧。
Chandler: I-I don't think I can.
我想我没办法。
Monica: Oh come on.
喔，别这样。
Monica: I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
我知道你不是十八岁了，但是给它一点时间啊。
Chandler: Because of Emma.
因为艾玛的原因。
Monica: Oh my God, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here.
天啊，艾玛。亲爱的，我忘记你在这里了。
Monica: Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.
你是对的，我们不能这样做，我们不能单独留她在这里。
Chandler: Sorry.
对不起。
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here.
除非……或许我们可以在这里做。
Monica: I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
我是说，她这个年纪懂什么呢？
Chandler: Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start...canoodling in it.
我们离开房间她都知道，或许她也会注意到我们……在亲热。
Monica: Canoodling?
亲热？
Chandler: Well, I can't say "hump" or "screw" in front of the B-A-B-Y.
嗯，我总不能在一个娃娃面前说……做♥爱或是上床吧。
Monica: I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so...
我不知道，我想在婴儿面前做♥爱不是很……
Chandler: Horrifying? Scarring?
可怕？吓人？
Chandler: Something people go to jail for?
没有人因此而坐牢？
Monica: I guess you're right.
我想你说的对。
Chandler: You guess I'm right?
你想？
Chandler: When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.
住在旅馆的时候，我们没做♥爱，因为你认为有只鹿站在窗外看。
Monica: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?
什么样变态的人想要在一只鹿面前做♥爱呢？
Rachel: Wow, everything looks so good! I think I'm gonna have the chicken.
哇，每样东西看起来都很好吃！我想我要点鸡肉。
Steve: I-I just have to say this; you're really beautiful.
我必须要这么说；你真的很漂亮。
Rachel: Oh, well, that's-that's very sweet. Thank you. I'm kind of funny-looking.
哇，这真是贴心，谢谢你。我长得有点好笑。
Rachel: What?
什么？
Steve: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it.
听着，我是说少来了，你不是我可以高攀的起的。这里每个人都看得出来。
Steve: Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "Ooh, why she's with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not.
我敢说那边那个男的 能在想，“为什么她会跟他出来呢？他一定是很有钱！”可是，我并不有钱。
Rachel: Ok. Though I guess then the joke's on him.
好吧。嗯，那我想，算是他的问题好了。
Rachel: So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken.
你想要点什么呢？我真的很期待他们的鸡肉。
Steve: I'm not funny either.
我也不风趣。
Steve: So, if you were thinking, "Well, he's not that good-looking, but maybe we'll have some laughs"...That ain't gonna happen.
所以如果你是在想，嗯，他倒是不太好看，但是也许他很幽默，那你就错了。
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter.
别这样，史提夫，我们不要让彼此尴尬。
Rachel: So now, I-I think that we should order, and then eat, and then leave.
所以现在，我想我们应该点餐了然后用餐，然后再离开。
Steve: I have a lot of medical problems.
我一身是病。
Rachel: Hey, now, wait a minute, Phoebe told me that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
嘿，等等，菲比告诉我……你是自己开餐厅的，真是了不起。
Steve: I lost it to drugs.
我因为吸毒把餐厅卖掉了。
Steve: I sell screen T-shirts now.
我现在做绢印T恤。
Rachel: Really? What's that like?
真的？做得怎样呢？
Steve: It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money.
做你痛恨的工作、又赚不到钱，真是非常充实啊！
Steve: That's right. I have no money, I'm not funny, I live in a studio apartment, with two other guys, and I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.
没错，我没有钱，又不风趣，住在一间没有隔间的公寓，跟两个男的一起生活。而且我很确定，我有不孕症。
Rachel: Now, come on. Come on, Steve. There must be something that you like about yourself.
别这样，别这样，史提夫。你一定有什么自己喜欢的地方。
Steve: I do like my hair.
我是挺喜欢我的头发的。
Rachel: Really?
真的吗？
Phoebe: Hello?
嗨？
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
菲比，是我。我一定要追杀你、把你给剁了！
Phoebe: Hey, Rach!
嘿，瑞秋！
Rachel: This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep?
这真是史上最烂的约会！你怎么可以介绍这个怪人给我呢？
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
你是在批评我最要好的朋友耶。
Rachel: I don't, I don't care! This guy is a nightmare!
我不在乎，这个人是个恶梦。
Phoebe: All right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
好了，他只不过在吸毒的时候才有点失常。
Rachel: He's not stoned.
他没吸毒。
Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette?
他有出去抽烟吗？
Rachel: Yeah, four times.
有啊，四次。
Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach.
我亲爱的甜心瑞秋。
Phoebe: Well, our plan is working.
我们的计划奏效了。
Phoebe: Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
瑞秋现在很悲惨，而罗斯正一个人在某家餐厅呆坐，被放鸽子了。
Joey: Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.
他们很快就会复合了。
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico...
等到大家发现我们做的好事时，我们早就在阳光普照的墨西哥了……（《肖申克的救赎》的台词）
Phoebe: Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
喔，等等，那是另一个计划的结局。
Monica: Oh, she's asleep. Chandler?
她睡着了，钱德？
Monica: What're you doing?
你在做什么呢？
Chandler: Emma was doing it!
艾玛也都这样做啊！
Monica: She's asleep.
她睡着了。
Chandler: Ooh, she's asleep, that means we can...
她睡了，表示我们可以……
Monica: Yes, but we have to be fast.
是的，但是我们必须要动作快。
Chandler: Oh-ok, I'll try. And you can't make any noise.
喔，好的，我尽量。而你不能发出任何声音。
Monica: Ok, I'll try.
好啦，我尽量。
Joey: Hello? Emma? Hey! Hi!
嗨？艾玛？嘿！嗨！
Joey: How are ya? How are ya?
你好吗？你好吗？
Joey: Where're your babysitters, huh?
你的保姆们呢？
Joey: Why's the bedroom door closed?
为什么房间的门是关着的呢？
Joey: You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E!
在照顾小孩的时候是不能做♥爱的。
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
我有个坏消息，那个中国人走了。
Ross: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
如果不是命中注定，就不是命中注定。
Waiter: Look, you got stood up, who cares?
听着，就算是被放鸽子又如何呢？
Waiter: We're gonna show you a good time. Sit and relax.
我们会好好招待你，你好好坐着享受。
Waiter: In fact, let me bring you a crab-cake appetizer on the house.
事实上，让我免♥费招待您，蟹肉饼当开胃菜。
Ross: Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice.
哇，免♥费的蟹肉饼吗？真是周到。
Ross: Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.
虽然我本来希望今晚可以做♥爱的。
Waiter: Ooh...
噢……
Waiter: Just the crab cakes.
只要蟹肉饼就行了。
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
你在做什么？要把他留下来吗？你不可以那样。
Waiter: Just get out of here, ok?
不要多管闲事好吗？
Ross: What's, I'm sorry, what's going on?
很抱歉，这是怎么回事？
Waiter: Okay, the waiters have a little pool going.
服务生们都在打赌。
Waiter: We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
赌你会等多久才会放弃回家去。
Ross: What? You-you, you're making money off my misery?
什么？你们拿我的悲惨境遇来赢钱？
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
嗯，如果你待到九点二十分，我就赢了。
Ross: This is unbelievable. I have never been so insulted in my life.
太离谱了。我从未被如此羞辱过。
Ross: Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
现在如果你帮我把蟹肉饼打包，我就马上离开。
Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud and I was fast.
真是奇怪。你倒是很大声，我倒是挺快的。
Chandler: I think we may have really done it this time.
我想我们这一次可能会成功。
Monica: Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.
我希望我不用等到作验孕测试。
Chandler: You may want to get some more of those too.
你可能需要再多买一些。
Chandler: Where's Emma?
艾玛呢？
Monica: Oh, my God, where's Emma? Where's Emma?
我的天，艾玛呢？艾玛呢？
Chandler: Don't ask me. I was in there canoodling you.
别问我，我跟你在里面亲热。
Monica: Okay. Okay. I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma.
好吧，我想应该是瑞秋提早回来，把艾玛带回去了。
Monica: You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
你去对面看看，我来打电话给她。
Chandler: Ok.
好。
Monica: You better hope we're pregnant because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel!
你最好祈祷我有怀孕，因为无论如何我们得要有个婴儿，可以还给瑞秋！
Steve: I-I can't believe I’m crying in front of you. You must think I'm so pathetic. No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.
我不敢相信我在你面前哭泣。你一定觉得我很可悲。不、不、不，我欣赏会哭的男人。
Steve: Really?
真的？
Rachel: Don't touch my coat. Oh! Sorry, that's my phone.
别碰我的外套。对不起，我有电话。
Rachel: Hello?
嗨？
Monica: Hey, Rach, how's it going? Oh, my God, this is the worst date ever.
嘿，瑞秋，进行的怎样呢？我的天，这是我有过最烂的约会了。
Rachel: Oh come on, look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well?
喔，拜托听着，我很抱歉，但是你真的认为 一切进行的很顺利吗？
Rachel: What's up?
怎么了？
Monica: Hey, did you stop by here?
嘿，你有来过吗？
Rachel: No.
没有。
Monica: Oh, my God! Then...
喔，我的天，那……
Monica: Oh, thank God! Emma, there you are!
感谢上帝！艾玛，原来你在这里！
Rachel: What? What-what do you mean, "there you are?" Where was she?
什么？“原来你在这里？” 是什么意思，她在哪里？
Monica: Oh, we were playing "peek-a-boo." She just, she loves it when I'm dramatic.
我们在玩躲猫猫，她爱死我的戏剧性演出了。
Monica: Why the hell did you take her?
你为什么要带走她呢？
Joey: Because you two were having sex!
因为你们两个在做♥爱！
Monica: No, we weren't!
不，我们没有！
Joey: Don't you lie to me!
别对我说谎！
Joey: I can tell by Chandler's hair. You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
我从钱德的头发就可以看出来，你真懒，你就不能有一次在上面吗？
Chandler: All right, all right, we were.
好啦，好啦，我们是在做♥爱。
Chandler: We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating, Which is more than I can say for myself as of 2:00 today.
我们是要努力怀孕，莫妮卡正在排卵，我今天下午测自己的时候都没有呢。
Monica: Guys...guys! Seriously, those sticks are expensive!
你们……你们……说真的，那些测试棒很贵的！
Joey: Well, it was unacceptable that you would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm have to tell Rachel about this.
有艾玛在这里，你们就不能在里面做♥爱。我必须要告诉瑞秋这件事。
Chandler: No, no, no.
不不不。
Monica: No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!
拜托不要，她会杀了我们的！
Joey: Hey, I gotta! Unless...
嘿，我一定要，除非……
Monica: Unless what?
除非怎样？
Joey: Unless you name your firstborn child Joey.
除非你们把第一个小孩取名叫乔伊。
Chandler: What? Why?
什么？为什么？
Joey: Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.
嘿，我可能永远都不会有小孩，总是要有人帮我延续家族姓氏吧。
Chandler: Your family name is Tribbiani.
你姓崔比亚尼。
Joey: You almost had me.
你差点就骗过我了。
Rachel: Well, En...
好吧，嗯……
Steve: Look...I think I know the answer to this question, but... would you like to make love to me?
听着……我想我知道这个问题的答案，但是……你想要跟我做♥爱吗？
Rachel: Really, really not.
真的，真的不想。
Steve: Eh, it's just as well.
只不过是问问。
Steve: Doesn't work anyway.
看来不起作用。
Rachel: All right, well, that's good to know. Good night, Steve.
好的，那就这样，晚安，史提夫。
Ross: Hey, what's wrong?
嘿，怎么了？
Rachel: I just had a rough night.
我刚度过糟糕的一晚。
Ross: Oh. Crab cake?
要蟹肉饼吗？
Rachel: Ewww!
额！
Ross: Well, what happened?
发生什么事了？
Rachel: Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but…
跟你聊这件事真的是有点奇怪，但是……
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
莫妮卡跟我说你去约会了。
Rachel: Yeah.
是啊。
Ross: I did, too.
我也是。
Rachel: Oh.
哦。
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
但是如果对方没有出现，那到底算不算是约会呢？
Rachel: Oh, oh no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?
喔，你觉得是她看到你，然后就走了吗？
Ross: Why does everyone keep saying that?
为什么大家要一直这样说呢？
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up.
我可以让你好过点，我真希望我的对象没有出现。
Ross: That bad?
那么糟吗？
Rachel: Well, he makes T-shirts for a living, and he thought it would be appropriate to give me, this.
他是做T恤的，而且他认为送这样的礼物给我是很适当的。
Ross: Female body inspector?
“女性身体检查官”？
Ross: What size is that?
这是什么尺寸的？
Phoebe: Now wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
等等，所以他们要把第一个孩子取名乔伊？
Joey: Uh-huh.
嗯哼。
Phoebe: How-how do I get them to name the-the next one after me?
那我要怎样才能让他们把第二个孩子以我的名字取名呢？
Joey: Oh, it's easy, you just, you just walk in on them having sex.
很简单，你只要在他们做♥爱时走进去就行了。
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.
喔，所以他们已经欠我三个菲比了。
Phoebe: Oh my God! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working. Don't do the plan laugh.
我的天！瞧，那是罗斯跟瑞秋。计划奏效了。别再做那个计划成功之笑了。
Ross: The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.
我们几个月以来的第一次约会，而结果却这么惨。
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
你知道，真是奇怪……菲比帮我安排一个很烂的约会，而在同一晚，乔伊帮你安排了一个根本没有人出现的约会。
Ross: Wait a minute; You don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.
等一下；你不会认为这是故意的吧？我是说，这实在太愚蠢了。
Joey: We're geniuses! Yeah, look at 'em, look at 'em, they're really bonding.
我们真是天才！瞧瞧他们！合得不得了，
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
哦呜，是啊，再度坠入爱河了。
Phoebe: Oh, they see us. Oh, they, they look mad.
喔，他们看到我们了，看起来很生气。
Phoebe: Oh, They figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
他们知道了，他们过来了，快跑！
Joey: Where?
跑去哪？
Phoebe: Mexico!
墨西哥！
Joey: Can you believe they're still not here?
谁敢相信她们居然还没有出现？
Ross: I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances?
是啊，双对约会，我们竟然一起被放鸽子。怎么可能呢？
Joey: I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now?
我知道，我好难过。现在可以上免♥费的蟹肉饼了吗？
Waiter: What?
什么？
Joey: We've been stood up. And we want our free crab cakes.
我们被放鸽子了。我们想要免♥费的蟹肉饼。
Waiter: You were stood up here last night.
你昨晚才在这里被放鸽子。
Ross: I know. It hurts.
我知道，真是伤心。
Ross: Being stood up two night in a row has left a crab cake sized hole in my heart.
一连两晚被放鸽子，已在我心中留下像蟹肉饼一样大的伤口了。
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight.
你们俩，不用装了，今晚没有人在拿你们打赌。
Waiter: Although we do have a pool going, to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
不过我们倒是有在赌，看那个男的多久才会哭。
Steve: I have such fat hands!
我的手好肥！
Steve: I hate my dick!
我恨我的小鸡鸡！