老友记 第九季 第十六集

FriendsS09E16

Part1

2019年8月26日 02:49 推荐到豆瓣

Friends Season 9 Episode 16: The One with the Boob Job.


老友记第9季第16集:隆胸。

Rachel: She's crawling! Emma's crawling!
她在爬!艾玛在爬了!
Joey: He's bleeding! Joey's bleeding!
他在流血!乔伊在流血了!
Rachel: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Honey, you've gotta come see this. I'm gonna go get Monica and Chandler.
对不起,但你一定要来看,我去找莫妮卡跟钱德。
Rachel: Monica! Chandler! Monica! Chandler! Monica! Chandler! Come over! Come over! Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up!
莫妮卡!钱德!莫妮卡!钱德!莫妮卡!钱德!过来!过来!快点、快点、快点!
Chandler: What? What?
怎样?什么事?
Joey: Hey, shaving?
刮胡子吗?
Chandler: No, rabies.
不,狂犬病。
Monica: Hey, what's going on?
是怎么回事?
Rachel: It's Emma, she's crawling.
是艾玛,她会爬了。
Chandler: Wow, look at her go.
哇,瞧瞧她。
Rachel: Well, give her a second.
给她一点时间。
Rachel: Joey, Joey.
乔伊,乔伊。
Joey: Oh, hey! Sorry.
哦!对不起。
Chandler: I can't believe how fast she's growing up. I mean, It seems like only yesterday she was ... farting on my lap.
我真不敢相信她长得好快,好像昨天她才……在我腿上放屁。
Monica: Not so funny when someone does it to you, is it?
有人对你那样做的时候并不好笑吧?
Rachel: Oh Emma, come on. Show everybody how you were crawling.
艾玛,来吧,让大家看看你会爬了。
Everyone: Come on, Emma.
艾玛,来吧,爬呀,艾玛。
Rachel: Oh you know what? I think we probably just distracted her. Let's everybody be still for just a minute.
我想我们让她分心了,大家先一分钟不要动。
Phoebe: Who's painting us?
谁在画我们呢?
Chandler: Have you see our bank statement? Can this be right?
你有看过我们的银行对帐单了吗?没错吗?
Monica: I know ... God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with Double Stuf Oreos.
就是嘛,天啊,从我小时候双层夹心饼上市之后,我的存款就没这么少过。
Monica: What happened to all of our money?
我们的钱跑哪去了呢?
Chandler: Well, I'm not sure exactly what they did.
我不清楚他们做了什么。
Chandler: But I'm inclined to blame Enron.
但是我倾向于责怪安然公司破产案。
Monica: I guess with you doing the internship, we're just spending more than we're bringing in.
因为你在做实习♥工作,我们花的比赚的还多。
Chandler: Yeah, maybe I should quit and get a job that pays.
是啊,或许我应该辞掉,然后找个有薪水的工作。
Monica: Oh ... But you're finally doing something that you love! I mean, I can't ask you to give that up.
但是你终于找到你喜欢的工作了!我是说,我不能要求你放弃的。
Monica: Although it'd be nice if the thing that you love was ... you know ... finding gold.
不过如果你喜欢做的事是淘金,那会好多了。
Chandler: You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this,
我在想,得我们太小题大作了。
Chandler: OK? So we pay our bills a little late this month. And maybe uh next month we cut back on a few things.
我们这个月会比较紧,下个月我们就节省一些开销。
Chandler: And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refridgerator for a change.
而且或许我们可以改变一下,到乔伊家的冰箱找食物。
Chandler: You're a chef ... what can you make out of baking soda and beer?
你是厨师,你可以用苏打粉跟啤酒做出什么呢?
Monica: All right, worst case scenario is ... we borrow some money from my parents.
最糟糕的情况下,我们只好向我父母借钱。
Monica: Or, you slipped on some ice at their house last month. Can we sue them?
或者,你上个月在他们家溜冰滑倒,我们可以告他们吗?
Chandler: No! And we're not borrowing money.
不可以,而且我们也不借钱。
Monica: Why not?
为什么不行?
Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings!
我们不能那样做,我们是宾家的人!
Monica: And there's one thing my father taught me was ... well to always knock before going into the pool house.
我爸有教过我在进入台球间时一定要先敲门。
Monica: But the other thing is, never borrow money.
还有,永远都不要借钱。
Monica: Wow I had no idea you had this much pride.
我不知道你是如此有自尊心。
Chandler: That's right, I do. I am your man. I'm gonna get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard.
没错,我就是,我是你男人,我会让我们度过难关的,就算要你加倍努力工作也是。
Mike: You know, it's just really weird.
你知道吗?真的是很奇怪。
Mike: You don't like eating animals, but you love watching them tear each other apart.
你不喜欢吃动物,却喜欢看他们彼此厮杀。
Phoebe: No, I don't, I don't. Get him. Get him! Separate the sick one from the herd!
不,我不喜欢……抓住他,抓他!把病倒的那个从群体隔开!
Mike: I'm gonna go.
我要回去了。
Phoebe: Why?
为什么?
Mike: I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes.
我有好几天没有回家了,而且我需要多拿几件衣服。
Phoebe: Oh ...
哦……
Phoebe: You don't have to go ... I have something that will fit you.
你不用回去,我有衣服可以给你穿。
Mike: I put that tube top on as a joke.
我穿女生的紧身衣是为了要好笑。
Phoebe: I want you to stay.
我想要你留下来。
Mike: I want to stay too, but I've got about as much out of these boxers as I can.
我也想要留下来,但是我已经不能再穿这几件内裤了。
Phoebe: Why don't you turn them inside?
为什么不反过来再穿呢?
Mike: Done it.
已经反过了。
Phoebe: I'll be back in a couple of hours.
我几个小时之后就回来,好吧,
Phoebe: I'll miss you.
我会想你的。
Mike: Me too.
我也是。
Phoebe: Oh, fine. Yeah, you got away. Don't look so smug. You're gonna bleed to death.
喔,好啦,你是逃走了。但是不要太沾沾自喜,你会失血过多而死的。
Mike: You know what? I just realized something. I don't wanna go home.
你知道吗?我刚惊觉到一件事,我不想要回家。
Phoebe: Great! Ok ... I'll go get the tube top.
太好了!好的,我去拿紧身衣。
Mike: No, no! What I mean is ... I-I hate going back to my apartment now ...
不,我的意思是……我不喜欢回去自己的公寓……
Mike: And partly because I live above a known crack den but ... you know, mostly because when I'm there ... I ... I just ... I really miss you. So ... Do you wanna move in together?
部分原因是因为,我住的地方不咋样。但是,主要是因为我回去的时候,我回去真的会好想你。所以……我们一起住好不好?
Phoebe: Wow ... Mike Hannigan, you sure know how to make a girl say "Hell yeah!".
哇,麦克·汉尼根。你倒是挺清楚要如何 让女生说“好!”
Mike: So we're doing it?
那我们要这样做吗?
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together!
好啊,就这样做,我们一起住!
Phoebe: Wow, we're really gonna move in together!
我们真的要同居吗?
Mike: Yeah!
是啊!
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy ...
我一直都想要跟男生同居……
Phoebe: "Pick up your socks!""Put down the toilet seat!""No! We're not having sex anymore!"
袜子捡起来,马桶坐垫放下来不,我再也不跟你做♥爱了!
Phoebe: It's gonna be fun!
一定会很好玩!
Joey: Shame on you, TV Guide. A man's ass is not nudity.
真讨厌《电视指南》男人的屁♥股不算是裸♥露!
Monica: Hey Joey!
嘿,乔伊!
Joey: Hey!
嘿!
Monica: Listen, I-I need to know that, what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler.
听着,我需要你保证我接下来要问你的事,不会被钱德知道。
Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself.
如果说我没有想过那件事,我就是在说谎。
Joey: Chandler is my best friend ... It would be wrong. Good. But wrong.
但是钱德是我最好的朋友,那是不对的。感觉不错,却是不对的。
Monica: Ok, first of all, it would be great.
好的,首先,感觉会是棒透了。
Monica: But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about, Ok? I-I need to borrow some money.
但那不是我在想的事,我需要跟你借钱。
Joey: Awww, I don't know, Monica. You know ... erm ... lending friends money is always a mistake.
喔,我不知道,莫妮卡,你知道的借钱给朋友不是什么好事。
Monica: But Chandler lent you money!
但是钱德借过你钱啊!
Joey: And I think he would tell you it was a mistake.
而他也会告诉你,那不是什么好事。
Monica: Come on, I just, I need it for some rent and-and some other bills.
别这样,我只是…… 我需要付房租跟一些帐单。
Joey: Oh. Well-uh, well how much?
多少钱呢?
Monica: Two thousand dollars?
两千块?
Joey: Two thousand dollars! ?
两千块?
Joey: What do you think I am, a soap opera star?
你以为我是谁?肥皂剧明星吗?
Monica: Yeah.
是啊。
Joey: That's right I am!
没错,我就是!
Monica: Ok. Well promise me you'll never tell Chandler, it really hurts his pride.
答应我,你不会告诉钱德。这真的会很伤他的自尊心。
Joey: Chandler? Pride?
钱德?自尊心?
Monica: I know. He thinks he has it. It's really cute.
我知道,他还以为他有,真的是很可爱。
Rachel: Hi, you guys!
嗨,你们好!
Joey & Monica: Hey!
嘿!
Joey: Ooh ... what's in the bag?
袋子里面是什么?
Rachel: Oh er ... well you know Emma started crawling?
你们都知道艾玛已经开始会爬了?
Rachel: I realized that this place, is very unsafe for a baby.
我发现这地方对婴儿而言,是很不安全的。
Rachel: So, I went to the store and I got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment.
所以我去店里买了一些东西来让公寓更适合婴儿活动。
Joey: Oh, God, baby-proofing ...
喔,天啊,适合婴儿……
Joey: Why is it such a big deal now? You know, when I was a kid, it was like:
有什么了不起的呢?我小的时候,常常都……
Joey: "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!
“哇,乔伊跌下楼梯了”或是“哇,乔伊又电到自己了”
Monica: Anyway, uhm ... Are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff?
你要找♥人帮忙安装这些东西吗?
Rachel: No. I was just gonna do it myself.
不,我自己来就行了。
Joey: You're gonna do it?
你要自己来?
Rachel: Yeah ... Why?
是啊,不行吗?
Rachel: You don't think a woman can do this?
你觉得女人不可能自己做吗?
Joey: Oh ... Women can. You ... can't.
女人可以,你……不行。
Rachel: Monica, will you please tell Joey that he is a pig?
莫妮卡,可以请你告诉乔伊,他是猪吗?
Monica: You're a pig. And you can't do this. Rachel: Wha! ?
你是猪,而你不会做什么?
Rachel: What! ? Come on! I found the hardware store all by myself!
别这样!我自己找到五金店的!
Joey: The hardware store is right down the street.
那间店就在街尾。
Rachel: There is a hardware store right down the street?
街尾就有一间五金店吗?
Phoebe: Ok, you guys! Ok, we've got great news.
嘿,各位,我们有好消息要宣布。
Mike: Phoebe and I are moving in together.
菲比跟我要一起同居了。
Monica & Chandler & Ross: Congratulations! That's good news. Great!
恭喜了!好消息!棒极了!
Phoebe: I know, it's so exciting! You know, I've never lived with a guy before, you know.
我知道,好兴奋!我从来都没有跟男生同居过。
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only-only they don't steal your makeup.
嗯,那就像跟女生一起住一样,只是他们不会偷用你的化妆品。
Monica: Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like".
除非他们是在玩“我妹妹就是长这样”。
Chandler: Yeah, she's not so cute.
是啊,她不太可爱。
Mike: I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
我要上洗手间。
Phoebe: OK, will you put down the toilet seat!
上完把马桶坐垫放下来!
Mike: Yes, dear.
是的,亲爱的。
Monica: Oh, is that a bit you guys do?
那是你们在玩的游戏吗?
Phoebe: Uh huh, we're playing you two.
是啊,我们在模仿你们两个。
Monica: We don't do that! Tell her we don't do that!
我们没有那样!告诉她我们没有。
Chandler: Yes, dear.
我们有,亲爱的。
Ross: I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great. I'm happy for you guys. I mean he's a great catch and those eyes.
不敢相信你们要同居了,我真替你们高兴,我是说,他是个好对象而且那一双眼睛。
Ross: I'm a scientist. I observe.
我是科学家,我会观察。
Monica: Oh gosh, it's so exciting.
天啊,这真是太令人兴奋了!
Monica: You guys are really moving along. I mean I think I hear wedding bells.
你们真是交往的太顺利了,我听到婚礼进行曲了。
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him.
莫妮卡,别急好吗?我只是很兴奋要跟他一起住而已。
Phoebe: You know, I mean, I don't know, can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure. Yeah.
你知道的,我是说,我不知道……我能预见有天跟麦克结婚吗?是的,当然。
Phoebe: You know, I could picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way.
我可以想像自己,穿着婚纱走在红毯上婚纱,以很明显、但高雅的方式集中突出我的胸部。
Phoebe: But do I want that house in Connecticut, you know, near the good schools where Mike and I could send Sophie and Mike Junior ...
但问我想不想要在康乃狄克州,有学校区的房子让麦克跟我送我们的 小苏菲跟小麦克去上学……
Phoebe: Oh my god, I do.
喔,我的天,我好想。
Ross: Phoebe ... I had no idea you were so conventional.
我不晓得你是这么传统的人。
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am!
我想我是的!
Phoebe: Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I wanna be a soccer mom!
我的天,开着沃尔沃汽车,大包小包载孩子去练足球!
Mike: You ready to go?
你准备好要走了吗?
Phoebe: Yeah! You bet roomie!
当然好啰,新室友!
Monica: Don't you mean ... groomy?
你是说“新郎”吧?
Chandler: Honey, leave the terrible jokes to me.
亲爱的,把烂笑话留给我吧。
Mike: What're you talking about?
你在说什么?
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns.
拜托,我们都还没一起住,而他们就要我们选结婚的瓷器图案了。
Rachel: China patterns!
瓷器图案!
Rachel: This is easy ... "Can't do this!"
这很容易的,“你不行……”
Rachel: Wow, seriously. Can't do this.
哇,还真的咧,就是不行。
Chandler: Hey! Joe!
嘿,乔伊!
Joey: Hey!
嘿!
Chandler: You're here with somebody?
你有跟别人在这里吗?
Joey: No.
没有。
Chandler: Look uh, I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it.
听着,我需要你帮个忙,而且不能跟莫妮卡说。
Joey: I thought you didn't have secrets from Monica.
我以为你们之间没有秘密。
Chandler: And that would remain the official party line.
表面上是那样没错。
Chandler: Look, Monica and I are having a little financial trouble.
莫妮卡跟我有一点点经济上的问题。
Joey: Yeah ... I know.
是啊,我知道。
Chandler: What? How do you know?
什么?你是什么意思?
Joey: Er ... I just figured it out! You know ...
我猜的!你知道的……
Joey: I mean you're not working and the economy is bad.
我是说,你没有工作,而且现在经济又很萧条。
Chandler: Oh! Right.
喔!对。
Joey: It's the fastest I have ever thought!
这是我反应最快的一次了!
Chandler: Anyway, er ... I need to borrow some money.
反正……我需要跟你借点钱。
Joey: Oh! Sure, yeah. How much? Two thousand dollars?
当然啰,多少钱?两千块吗?
Chandler: Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that?
是的,正是两千块!你是怎么知道的?
Joey: Er ... Well I uh ... I know how much you used to make ... And I know how much your rent is.
我知道你之前赚多少钱,而且我也知道你们的房租。
Chandler: Oh ok.
喔,好的。
Joey: I am on fire!
我真是天才!
Chandler: Listen, this is really nice.
听着,你真好。
Chandler: Di... Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars?
你开了一张两千块的支票给莫妮卡?
Chandler: Did Monica borrow money from you?
莫妮卡跟你借钱?
Joey: Er ... Kind of.
好像是。
Chandler: I can't believe her!
我不敢相信她竟然这样做!
Chandler: Did she tell you we were having money problems?
她有跟你说我们有经济问题吗?
Joey: Oh no no no no no ... It wasn't ... It wasn't because of your money problems ... It was for something ... for her.
不,不是为了你们的经济问题是她自己的东西。
Chandler: What?
什么?
Joey: Something personal.
很私人的东西。
Chandler: What would she get for herself for two thousand dollars that she wouldn't tell me about?
她要花两千块的东西还不能告诉我?不好意思。
Woman: Excuse me.
打扰一下。
Joey: Boob job.
隆乳手术。
Chandler: What? That's ridiculous, she doesn't need a boob job!
什么?这真是太可笑了,她才不需要隆乳!
Chandler: Why wouldn't she tell me about it?
她为什么不能告诉我呢?
Joey: Uh ... she was afraid that you woudln't be supportive.
她怕你会反对。
Chandler: I'm not.
我是会。
Joey: Yeah, well, she knows you well, you can't tell her that you know, I swore I woudln't tell ya.
没错,就是啊,她非常了解你。你不能告诉她你已经知道了,我发过誓不会告诉别人的。
Chandler: Oh, Boob job? She doens't need that, this is crazy!
隆乳手术?她根本不需要,这真是疯狂!
Joey: Well it's ... It's not that crazy. Ok?
不算太疯狂,好吗?
Joey: Making them smaller, that would be crazy.
把它们变小才叫做疯狂。
Phoebe: Hey, so where do you keep your secret box of porn?
嘿,你的秘密色情影带放哪儿?
Mike: I don't have any porn ...
我没有什么色情影带……
Mike: Back of the closet in my bedroom.
我房间后面的柜子里。
Mike: Oh hey, I-I wanted to ask you about Monica's little "groomy" joke.
嘿,我想要问你关于莫妮卡的“新郎”笑话。
Phoebe: Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laughed is becuase it's a play on the word roomie.
我想大家会笑是因为她在玩“新室友”这个词。
Mike: No, I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was, the thing I wanna say is ... uh, maybe we should've talked about this before.
我听得懂这个笑话,真是高深啊。不,我要说的是……或许我们之前就应该先谈过。
Mike: Us living together. You're not expecting a proposal, right?
我们住在一起这件事,你应该没有期望我会求婚吧。
Phoebe: Oh no! No! Not at all. We're just moving in, right now. See where it goes.
喔,不、不,一点也没有,好的我们才刚搬进来一起住,再看看吧。
Mike: Yeah, well ... that's the thing. For me it's ... as far as it can ever go.
对,这就是个问题 对我而言,这已经是我的极限了。
Phoebe: What'd you mean?
你是什么意思?
Mike: Look. Phoebe ... I ... I love you. Very much. But I never wanna get married again.
听着,菲比,我……我非常爱你。但我不想再结婚了。
Phoebe: Oh. Wow.
哇。
Mike: Now, it's just, my first marriage was ... you know ... such a disaster that I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
只是我的第一次婚姻太……太糟糕了,我已经对婚姻失去信心了。
Phoebe: Hmm. Was it really that bad?
有那么糟吗?
Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated on.
有一次,到最后……她故意便便在我的……
Phoebe: Okay, well, that's bad. Yeah.
喔,那真糟。
Phoebe: But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps, a blonde who always uses a toilet.
但是你不认为换个人会不一样吗?或许是一个会在厕所便便的金发女郎?
Phoebe: Except for once in the ocean.
除了有一次是便在海里。
Mike: Look it's, it's not about who I would marry.
听着,不是我要娶谁的问题。
Mike: And I was certain the first time I got married it would last forever. And I was totally wrong!
我本来也确定我第一次的婚姻会维持永远,我完全错了!
Phoebe: But it's just...
但是,只是……
Mike: Look Phoebe ... It's, it's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
菲比,不是你的原因,我只是再也不想结婚了。
Phoebe: Oh!
哦呜!
Mike: I'm sorry. Are you ok with that?
我很抱歉。你可以接受吗?
Mike: Because if not ... maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.
如果不行的话,或许我们一起住不是个好主意。
Phoebe: No! Oh, I definitely don't wanna get married.
可以,喔,我当然也不希望结婚。
Phoebe: Now I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to, too. Whew! Cause you know when we move in ... and you start changing your mind ... there's gonna be hell to pay mister!
我只想确定你也不想要。因为如果我们住在一起,然后你开始改变心意我们就有麻烦了,先生!
Mike: Trust me, I will never.
相信我,我永远不……
Phoebe: Yeah I get that, yeah.
好的,我知道了。
Rachel: Hi!
嘿!
Monica: Hi! So you gave in and decided to call someone?
嗨,最后你决定请人来帮忙了?
Rachel: Yeah ... I don't know who I was kidding. I can barely use chopsticks.
是啊,我不知道我是在想什么,我连筷子都不会用。
Handyman: You're all set.
都装好了。
Rachel: Oh thank you so much. Oh oh wait! You uh forgot your erm ... Your game. Thank you.
喔,真的很谢谢你等等,你忘了你的……玩具。谢谢你。
Monica: Rach, Is this my sweater?
瑞秋,这是我的线衫吗?
Rachel: Yeah.
是啊。
Monica: What happened to the sleeve? Moths?
袖子怎么了呢?蛀虫吗?
Chandler: Hey Rach! There she is ... My perfectly proportioned wife.
嘿,瑞秋,我身材完美的老婆在这里。
Rachel: Don't look at me, I never get his jokes.
别看我,我从来没有听懂过他的笑话。
Monica: Thank you?
谢谢你?
Chandler: No no, don't thank me.
不、不,别谢我。
Chandler: Thank you. Do you know there's not one thing that I would change about you? Not one single thing! And definitely not ... two ... single things.
谢谢你,你知道我不会想要改变你任何一点吗?一点也没有,而且特别是……那两点。
Monica: Ok, you're being weird. Do you want sex or did you do something bad?
好的,你真的很怪你想上床吗?还是做了什么错事?
Chandler: No no no! I just love the way you look ... I am warm ... for your form.
不、不、不,我就是爱你这模样,我爱你的……身材。
Monica: Ok, um, you know the old classics, like, you know, "You look nice"? They're still ok.
好的,你知道传统上都是说 “你看起来很好”吧?这句话还是适用。
Chandler: Well yes yes, but you look nice can mean that I'm saying that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean ... I wouldn't change it ... At all.
但是“你看起来很好”可能只是代表 “你的脸蛋看起来很好”,我想要赞美你的身体。我是说,我一点都不想改变它。
Chandler: And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.
而且更详细地说,就是我不想要加大任何东西。
Monica: Ok.
好的。
Chandler: I mean ... you wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger would you? Don't answer that.
我是说……你也不会想要我身体的某部份加大,不是吗?不用回答
Rachel: Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any weirder.
我还以为那老兄不可能更怪了。
Monica: I know, why do you think he was so worried about me getting bigger?
你觉得他为何要担心我会变大?
Rachel: I don't know! I mean ... what brought that on?
我不知道,那是怎么回事呢?
Monica: Oh my God. Oh my God, you know we're trying to get pregnant so he's probably starting to freak out about the fact that my body is gonna change.
我的天,你知道吗?我们正努力要怀孕,所以他可能很怕我的身材会变形。
Rachel: No ... you really think that's what it is?
你认为是这样吗?
Monica: You heard him!
你也听到了!
Monica: "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!"
“不要变大,你很完美了 不要再变大了!”
Monica: Oh my God he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach.
天啊,他听起来就像是我高中的摔角教练。
Monica: I'm gonna have to talk to Chandler. Rachel: Yeah. If you don't, I will. Of course your body's gonna change.
我必须要跟钱德谈谈 是啊,如果你不去,我会去。当然你的身材会变形。
Rachel: Your breasts are gonna get bigger. . your ass is gonna get bigger ... you're gonna lose bladder control.
你的胸部会变大,你的屁♥股会变大……你会膀胱无力。
Rachel: God! It's just such a magical time!
我的天,真是奇妙啊!
Phoebe: Hi.
嗨!
Ross: Hey!
嘿!
Phoebe: Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage.
听着,我想要请教你关于婚姻的事。
Ross: Oh great now you're seeking me out to make jokes?
现在你跑来找我,是要取笑我吗?
Ross: I mean I can see for all hanging out but to come to my home!
我们出去在一起的时候被取笑,我可以理解,但是跑到我家来!
Phoebe: No, I really wanted to know how you feel about it.
不,我真的想知道你的意见。
Ross: Why?
为什么?
Phoebe: Mike doesn't ever wanna get married.
麦克永远不想要结婚。
Phoebe: Never?
永远吗?
Ross: Never.
永远。
Ross: Wow, are you-you still gonna move in with him?
哇,你还要跟他同居吗?
Phoebe: Oh I want to, but, I just want you to tell me that marriage really isn't that big a deal.
我想啊,但是我要你告诉我,结婚真的不算什么。
Phoebe: You know, that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
没结婚也不必后悔,婚姻烂毙了。
Ross: Yeah ... marriage ... stinks!
是啊,婚姻烂毙了!
Ross: I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get 'em married.
我是说,如果你想看到男人变肥,女人不再除毛……就叫他们结婚吧。
Phoebe: That's not how you really feel, is it?
那不是你真正的感觉,对吧?
Ross: No, I'm sorry.
不是,我很抱歉。
Ross: Look I-I know it's not what you wanna hear right now but I can't help it. I-I love marriage.
我知道那不是你想听的话,但是我没有办法说谎,我喜欢结婚。
Phoebe: Seriously? You divorce-o?
真的吗?你这个“离♥婚专家”?
Ross: If you have to call me a name, I prefer Ross the Divorcer. It's just cooler.
如果你要帮我取绰号,我比较喜欢 “罗斯,离♥婚王”,听起来较酷。
Ross: Look, look, I know my marriages didn't exactly work out. But,
听着,我知道我的婚姻并没有成功。
Ross: you know, I-I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol and I had some good times before she became a lesbian!
但我喜欢对另一个人做那种程度的承诺,在卡萝变成女同性恋之前,我们度过许多快乐的时光!
Ross: And once afterward.
之后还有一次。
Ross: Anyway, I-I'm sorry.
反正,很抱歉。
Phoebe: Uh, it's ok, that's how you feel.
没关系,这是你的真实感受。
Phoebe: But, come on, I mean, living together will be great. I mean, you guys have so much fun. And you love Mike.
但是,别这样,住在一起也很棒啊,我是说你们会很快乐的,而且你爱麦克啊。
Phoebe: I do love Mike.
我是很爱麦克。
Ross: Yeah, see?
是啊,不是吗?
Ross: And you are so excited about moving in together before ... and you know? You should be. It's a big deal!
而且你之前很期待同居的,而且你知道吗?期待是对的,这是很大的一步!
Phoebe: Yeah, I guess you're right.
是啊,我想你说的对。
Phoebe: Yeah, thanks. This helped. Thanks.
是啊,谢谢,真有帮助,谢谢。
Phoebe: The Divorcer to the rescue.
离♥婚王拯救众生。
Phoebe: It's not cooler.
并没有比较酷。
Ross: Yeah I just heard it.
我听到了。
Joey: Rach? !
瑞秋?
Joey: Rachel! ?
瑞秋!
Joey: So I can't do anything I like? !
所以我想做什么都不行吗?
Rachel: Unbelievable.
不可思议。
Rachel: Chandler wants you to have a baby, and he doesn't want your body to get any bigger. I mean, it's not like he's so perfect.
钱德要你生小孩,但是不许你身材变形他自己又不是多完美。
Monica: Hey, that's my husband.
嘿,他是我老公。
Rachel: All right, let's solve one problem a time.
好吧,我们一次解决一个问题。
Chandler: Hey Rach! Ah ...
嘿,瑞秋……
Chandler: Perfection. Wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing.
完美,什么都不必改变,完美无缺。
Monica: Honey?
亲爱的?
Chandler: Yeah?
怎样?
Monica: About that? Erm ...
关于那件事?
Monica: I'm going to change.
我会变的。
Chandler: Yes, but honey, you, you don't have to.
是的,但是亲爱的,你不需要。
Monica: I'm gonna get bigger.
我会变得大一点。
Chandler: Honey, I...
亲爱的,我……
Chandler: I love your breasts the way they are.
我喜欢你胸部现在的样子。
Rachel: Argh. Fascist.
大男人。
Monica: Well, my breasts are gonna get bigger whether you like it or not!
我的胸部会变大的,不管你喜不喜欢!
Monica: And-and you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is gonna get bigger too.
而且不只是我的胸部,我的屁♥股也会变大。
Chandler: your ass? !
你的屁♥股?!
Rachel: Man, don't be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too!
而且如果她的手脚也变大,别太惊讶!
Chandler: They ... Do that?
它们也会吗?
Monica: It's kind of a package deal!
这就像整套的一样!
Chandler: God, why, why would you wanna do that to yourself! ?
天啊,为什么?为什么你要对自己做这种事呢?
Monica: I thought I was something that we both wanted!
我以为这是我们俩都想要的!
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, I may be able to get on aboard with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
如果这对你那么重要,关于胸部,我或许可以释怀,但是大屁♥股还有大脚丫?
Rachel: Oh my god Chandler!
喔,天啊,钱德!
Rachel: If you can't handle this, what are you gonna be like in the hospital? with the blood and screaming and the little person that's shooting out of her?
如果你连这个都受不了,那你到了医院要怎么办?加上流血和尖叫声,还有那个从她身体挤出来的小人?
Chandler: What?
什么?
Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
乔伊!你为什么要跟钱德说莫妮卡要去做隆乳手术呢?
Joey: Because she is!
因为她是要啊!
Monica: Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
钱德知道我跟你借钱了。
Joey: Mmmm hmm! For your boob job!
为了要做隆乳手术!
Monica & Rachel & Chandler: Joe! Stop it. It's over.
乔伊,结束了。
Joey: OK so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?
好了,所以我借出了四千块,结果没有人的胸部会变大?
Ross: Hey! Hey, what'd you guys think about this. Ross. The Divorce-Force.
嘿!嘿,你们觉得这样如何呢?罗斯,离♥婚生力军。
Phoebe: Better.
比较好了。
Ross: Yeah?
是吗?
Mike: Very cool.
非常酷。
Ross: Hey Pheebs ... You know I'm-I'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful.
嘿,菲比 我真的很高兴那天你过来找我谈,希望我有帮上忙。
Phoebe: Oh yeah you were helpful! Yeah, no, thanks you.
是啊,你帮忙很多!是啊,很谢谢你。
Ross: Good, good.
很好,很好。
Ross: Yeah 'cause the more I thought about it, the more I realized I don't think marriage is necessarily the right path for you.
因为我越想越觉得……婚姻对你而言,不见得是必经之路。
Phoebe: What'd you mean?
你是什么意思?
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffee house you were all caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you?
我知道那天在咖啡屋的时候……你很沉醉于当足球妈妈什么的但是那是真的你吗?
Ross: I mean, can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
你可以想像自己开着沃尔沃汽车吗?
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy.
沃尔沃是太有棱有角了。
Ross: You know, look, people like me like stability and security, you don't.
像我这样的人才需要安定感,你不需要。
Ross: And that's what so incredible about you.
而这就是你很了不起的地方。
Ross: You know? You got this wild ... and crazy life, I mean,
你有狂放不羁的生活我是说,
Ross: I don't know ... you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean it's so ... normal.
婚姻对你是很无趣的,我是说,那太中规中矩了。
Phoebe: Uh huh, yeah.
是啊。
Ross: Hey hey, can I help?
嘿,需要帮忙吗?
Chandler: Well! We er ... climbed up four flights of stairs, maneuvered a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pit bull ...
我们爬了四层楼,好不容易通过狭窄的通道再躲过一只狂犬病斗牛狗。
Chandler: But these last three feet are where it gets really tricky.
但是最后这三尺路才是最崎岖的。
Ross: You know, sometimes your words, they hurt.
有时候你的话真伤人。
Joey: Hey, eh ... where'd you guys want this?
嘿,你们要把这个放哪呢?
Rachel: Yeah, seriously. Cause this is really heavy.
是啊,快点,因为真的很重。
Rachel: I mean not for me because I'm only pretending to hold it, but for these guys.
不是对我,因为我只是假装扶着,但是他们几个真的快被压死了。
Phoebe: Just one-one last time erm ... the marriage thing, there's no wiggle room? None at all?
最后再问你一次结婚的事,没有再思考的空间吗?一点都没有?
Mike: No, but ... you don't wanna get married either right?
没有,但你也不想结婚,不是吗?
Phoebe: Right. Except that I do wanna get married.
没错此外,我是真的想要结婚。
Joey: Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck huh?
不能在楼下卸货前先谈这个吗?
Mike: What? You wanna get married?
什么?你想要结婚?
Phoebe: Someday.
总有一天。
Chandler: Aaaaand ... hernia.
还有……疝气。
Phoebe: I haven't exactly had a normal life and-and I never really felt like I was missing out on anything but,
我从未有过正常的生活,而我也从没有觉得失去过什么,但是,
Phoebe: it just, it feels that now it's my turn to have some of the regular stuff.
总觉得好像该轮到我拥有正常的东西了。
Mike: If you wanna get married why didn't you say something before?
你为什么不早说呢?
Phoebe: Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it. And-and I love you, and I wanted to live with you.
我之前不确定我有多想要,而且我爱你,我想要跟你一起住。
Mike: Yeah I wanna live with you too! I mean, let's do that!
我也想跟你一起住!我是说,我们就这样做吧!
Phoebe: But I don't I don't think I can!
但是我不觉得我可以!
Phoebe: It was okay to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen.
当我不清楚未来时,我们是可以一起住的。
Phoebe: but I-I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen.
但在知道将来什么事都不会发生之后,我就没办法了。
Monica: I said to bring the cushions up first, but no.
我说先搬椅垫,你们就不要。
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might you might change your mind about marriage.
我们可以至少先试试同居吧?你或许会改变对婚姻的想法。
Phoebe: Are you gonna change yours?
你会改变你的想法吗?
Mike: No.
不会。
Phoebe: Me neither.
我也不会。
Phoebe: Um, I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
我想我需要跟想法一样的人在一起。
Mike: But I don't want this to end.
但是我不想要结束。
Phoebe: No, I don't want it to end either.
我也不想要结束。
Mike: I can't believe this is gonna end. I guess I'll have my stuff picked up.
我不敢相信就要这样结束了。我会把我的东西打包好。
Phoebe: Yeah ... Ok.
好的。
Mike: Ok ... so, uh,
好的,那么……
Mike: Goodbye.
再见。
Everyone: Bye-bye Mike! See you Mike. Bye-bye now.
再见,麦克,再见,麦克。
Rachel: I'm so sorry Pheebs.
我很难过。
Monica: We're all sorry.
菲比我们都很难过。
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean, at least you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you.
往好处想,至少你不用跟那张丑椅子在一起!那早就在这里了,对不对?我爱你们。
Joey: Ah Hah! I did it! Ha Ha!
我办到了!我办到了!
Joey: Alright.
太好了。
Joey: Better take all I can carry ...
最好多拿一点……
Joey: Who knows when I'll be able to get in here again huh? !
谁知道下次能不能打得开呢?


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