Joey: Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche?
Monica: But ehm ... what is it not?
Joey: A place to entertain my lady friends.
Monica: And what else is it not?
Joey: A place to eat spaghetti.
Monica: Very good! What do you need it for anyway?
Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so ...
Rachel: Oh! So you're driving up to Connecticut?
Joey: Yeah, Connecticut ... Not West Virginia.
Monica: Hey, maybe I'll drive you up there! I'd like to buy some tickets myself!
Monica: Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars.
Chandler: Yes, because if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million? No, thank you.
Phoebe: Hey will you get me tickets too?
Rachel: Yeah, me too.
Rachel: oh! I have an idea.
Rachel: Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it.
Everyone: Yeah, thats a great idea!
Ross: No thanks!
Phoebe: You don't wanna win the lottery?
Ross: Uh ... sure I do, I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
Chandler: Still on Amelia Earhart?
Ross: The woman just vanished!
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Ross: No! Do-do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery?
Ross: I ... I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.
Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times.
Joey: I like those odds!
Ross: Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're gonna spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki.
Chandler: I'll ask.
Ross: Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.
Rachel: Yeah so get ready to hear a lot of ehm ... boohaki, goshdarnit and brotherpucker.
Monica: How do you know she's gonna start talking?
Rachel: Well when I talk to her I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying.
Chandler: Kinda like Joey.
Joey: What's that now?
Monica: God! Look at all these tickets! It's so exciting!
Monica: You know I haven't won anything since the sixth grade.
Chandler: Pie eating contest?
Monica: Oh! You assume because I was heavy that's the only way I could win something?
Chandler: No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.
Monica: That was a good day!
Ross: They're towing your car, they're towing your car!
Monica: I'm parked in a garage on Morton!
Ross: They're towing A car.
Ross: And I am seeing ... spots.
Joey: Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! Where's Emma? Who has Emma! ?
Rachel: Joey, relax! Just my mother picked her up two hours ago.
Racel: You were there!
Joey: I was?
Racel: Yes and you talked to her.
Joey: I did?
Rachel: She dropped off a casserole?
Joey: Oh yeah! The casserole lady.
Monica: Hey! So, did you come by to watch us win the big bucks?
Ross: Yeah, uh ... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it!
Chandler: Don't touch the phone! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it! !
Ross: Do you think he washed his hands?
Chandler: Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?
Rachel: What's going on?
Monica: Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three.
Joey: Ooh! Tough odds!
Ross: Yeah if only it were a sure thing like your 24 state lottery!
Joey: Yeah, look who's coming around!
Chandler: Damn it. Alright call me when you know more.
Joey: Did you get it?
Chandler: One of the slots got filled.
Joey: By you?
Chandler: Sense the tone!
Chandler: No, that kid Nate got it.
Monica: Oh! I hate that guy!
Monica: I mean come on kid! Pull up your pants! Chandler: I know.
Rachel: Well, there's two spots left right?
Chandler: Yeah ... I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one ...
Chandler: Except I don't care about Charlie.
Phoebe: Hey you guys!
Phoebe: Ok, you're not gonna believe this! I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight!
Monica: Hey, that reminds me, I thought we could use some extra luck so I brought a wishbone home from work.
Ross: A psychic and a wishbone? Guys! Give someone else a chance!
Monica: Alright, who wants to do it?
Phoebe: Oh can I?
Phoebe: Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone.
Phoebe: It's really not fair either! You know, just 'cause we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses!
Monica: All right. Ey, Rach?
Rachel: No, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands.
Joey: I'll do it! It'll get the casserole stink off mine.
Phoebe: I hope I win!
Monica: Well, it doesn't really matter ...
Monica: you're both wishing for the same thing, right?
Joey: Well, I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else ... you know ... won't come true!
Monica: Right! But we know what you're wishing for!
Joey: I can't really say! Yeah.
Monica: I understand, but you're wishing for what we think you're wishing for, aren't you?
Joey: I'm not really comfortable with these questions!
Rachel and Chandler and Monica: Please, just do it!
Phoebe: Ok, get ready, one, two, three!
Joey: I won, hey!
Ross: Um, you know what, I'm sure your wish is gonna come true, but, you guys- just in case, maybe a genie will come out if we rub this lamp! Ah!
Ross: That thing gets hot!
Rachel: You know, Ross, just keep making your jokes. How are you gonna feel if we actually do win?
Ross: Uh, you're not gonna win.
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel?
Ross: You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna, you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll 've to meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai."
Ross: Ok, I've heard myself on tape and I sound nothing like that.
Chandler: I can see the headline now: "Lottery winners' friend filled with regret eats own arm".
Ross: Why would I eat my own arm?
Chandler: Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want.
Monica: You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you.
Monica: Because I know, I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki", but we're all here and we're gonna watch the numbers and have fun.
Monica: And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Ross: You don't have to do that, I mean I'll-I'll pay for myself. But,
Ross: just the fact that you-you want me to have fun with you guys, that's so sweet! Come here.
Phoebe: Get a room!
Chandler: Ok, so now that you're in, what're you gonna do if we win?
Ross: I don't know, I'll probably just invest it.
Chandler: Ooh! Calm down ...
Joey: Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it?
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away".
Joey: Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all our money and buy the Knicks!
Rachel: I don't really care about the Knicks.
Joey: Oh, you will when I pick you as starting forward.
Rachel: You would do that? I never get picked!
Chandler: You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go.
Joey: You're not gonna let me buy the Knicks? I can't believe you're taking this away from me!
Chandler: You're right, it has been you dream for over 15 seconds.
Ross: Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy?
Chandler: I'll take this one too Uh ... Mommy?
Ross: Oh, I've gotten into the habit of calling Rachel "Mommy" when we're around Emma. Which I now realize we are not.
Rachel: I'm hoping that if she hears it enough it will be her first word.
Ross: Although if we're gonna do that, we should probably call me "Daddy" too.
Phoebe: Oooh, I like that, "Daddy"
Ross: I ... I was just talking about Rachel.
Phoebe: Oooh, is daddy getting angry? Is daddy gonna spank me?
Ross: Well that depends ... have you been a baaad gi ... no I can't.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear?
Chandler: What? Susan got it? How? Oh man, I would've slept with him! All right, bye.
Joey: Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right?
Chandler: Well no, Charlie's gonna get that.
Monica: Hey, don't say that!
Monica: You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job! He is the boss' son.
Monica: Come on, lottery!
Rachel: Ooh, oh, you guys, it starts in like 20 minutes. It starts in, like, 20 minutes.
Monica: Ok, alright, here we go.
Monica: So, we need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won.
Monica: So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this?
Monica: Ok, how about this, we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
Rachel: Ooh, I have another idea!
Monica: I'm sorry, idea time is over.
Phoebe: Ok, well, are all the tickets in the bowl?
Chandler: What about the ones you have on the nightstand?
Monica: There are no tickets on the nightstand!
Chandler: Yes there are, I just saw them a few minutes ago.
Monica: Uh-huh, no you didn't! You must be mistaken!
Chandler: Honey, there are like 20 tickets on the nightstand!
Monica: Chandler, sense the tone.
Rachel: Well, well, well, look what mommy found!
Monica: Ok, fine! I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler.
Phoebe: Uh! The psychic also said that I would be betrayed.
Ross: I can't believe this, I thought we were all in this together!
Monica: Hey, you just got in 5 minutes ago!
Ross: 3 minutes ago! I don't know why that's important ...
Joey: Oh hey look, I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
Monica: When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic!
Joey: I'll show you how.
Rachel: Ok, well Monica, suppose one of your "special" tickets wins? How are you gonna feel when you win the lottery and you lose all your friends?
Monica: Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me.
Monica: Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week we couldn't get rid of you for 3 days!
Rachel: Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?
Chandler: She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ...
Monica: Ahhh! Let me finish.
Chandler: However, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!
Monica: There's the man I married!
Rachel: All right, believe me. If you win the lottery, it's the last you're gonna hear from us!
Monica: Fine! Don't be my friends! I'll buy new friends!
Monica: Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they'd look just like you!
Rachel: Alright, you know what? That's it! I want my share of the tickets!
Joey: Yeah, I want my tickets too! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graf, hah hah!
Ross: Cool. Then I want mine, too! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
Phoebe: Oh, you guys! We gotta keep all the tickets together.
Monica: No, no! We should divide them up and I should get extra because we used my car to buy them!
Joey: Hey! Hey! If anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me! This all thing was my idea!
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery!
Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give 'em to me! I'll split them up!
Ross: Hey, hey! !
Phoebe: Fine, I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this!
Rachel: Ok, if she jumps, I get her tickets.
Joey: Wait! No, no! Hey! Hey!
Phoebe: If we are not doing this together, we're not doing it at all! Say goodbye to your tickets! .
Everyone: No! No! No!
Phoebe: Don't come any closer!
Chandler: Can I come a little bit closer, valuable things are getting squished ...
Phoebe: Now, what's more important, your friends or money?
Everyone but Monica: Friends!
Monica: Money! Friends.
Phoebe: Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets?
Monica: They're all in there!
Monica: Even these five that I hid in my bra ...
Phoebe: Ok, good! You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this ...
Phoebe: Oh God, no!
Phoebe: I think I broke your bowl.
Ross: Go, go, go!
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets.
Phoebe: And the wind sure made it fun.
Monica: Phoebe, we lost half of them.
Phoebe: So, what?
Phoebe: Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I was gonna win, remember?
Ross: Weird your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon.
Phoebe: As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. So, excuse me for being a little skittish.
Chandler: Hey, there's two messages. These could be from work!
Monica: Oh, play them!
Chandler: Ok, here we go!
Message: "Hello. This-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologize."
Message: "I sh... I shouldn't've knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand.
Message: It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
Phoebe: Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do.
Second message: Hey Chandler, it's Charlie. Chandler: This is ... shhh!
Second Message: Listen, uh ... it turns out I got the last spot.
Second Message: I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want.
Monica: Oh Gosh, I am so sorry honey ...
All: Yeah. Sorry about that.
Rachel: Oh, it is so unfair. It's-it's like that time they promoted Sandra over me at work.
Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren?
Rachel: No, she was just much better at job than me!
Phoebe: Guys, the drawing is about to start.
Rachel: Oh, you know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.
Ross: Oh yeah, it's a good idea!
Monica: Honey, you've been really strong about this,
Monica: I know how badly you wanted that job.
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it.
Chandler: But ... let's go win the lottery ... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right?
Ross: Yeah, goodnight sweetheart. I love you.
Ross: And remember, you're daddy's little girl.
Ross: Phoebe's totally ruined that for me.
Rachel: Hi mum, oh put her back on!
Joey: Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers!
Joey: My God, I can already feel myself changing.
TV: Here we are, the official Powerball numbers! We have 53…
Chandler: I got that!
Ross: Oh, oh, we have one too!
Monica: We are on a roll, people!
Ross: Come on!
Rachel: Mum, please! I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you!
Rachel: Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter?
TV: And number 29! Here we go! The Powerball is 7…
Monica: All right, check your numbers! Make me rich!
Rachel: You guys, you're not gonna believe this! I was just saying goodnight to Emma and she said her first words! !
Joey: And what did she say?
Rachel: She said "gleba"!
Monica: Make me rich!
Rachel: Isn't that amazing?
Ross: Oh yeah, no no no ... that's-that's great!
Rachel: Why-why aren't you more excited?
Ross: Oh, Rach ... oh ... "gleba" is not a word.
Rachel: Oh, of course it is!
Ross: Ok, uh, what does it mean?
Rachel: Well, I don't know all the words.
Ross: Yeah, I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words.
Rachel: Wh-, yes you did, gleba is a word!
Ross: Ok, use it in a sentence.
Rachel: Ok, uh ... "Emma just said gleba"!
Ross: It's not a word!
Rachel: Oh. Ok, ok, ok, fine, I'm gonna look it up.
Ross: Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, While you're at it, she said another word the other day. why don't you, why don't you look up: pbbqqt ...
Rachel: Alright, ok, ok, gleba, gleba ... Gleba!
Rachel: Ha! Here it is: the fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi.
Ross: She's gonna be a scientist!
Joey: Damn it! Anybody got anything?
Phoebe: I'm still looking through mine.
Monica: Alright, just double checking ... no,
Monica: No. No.
Monica: Hello? Hold on. It's your boss.
Chandler: Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not used to getting it from guys.
Chandler: Hey, Steve.
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions.
Steve: We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Chandler: Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff!
Chandler: And I'm not too mature ... farts, boobies, butt cracks!
Steve: Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter.
Chandler: Me, that guy who just said butt cracks?
Steve: Yes, that's right.
Steve: We're excited about the level of sophistication you'll be bringing to the job.
Chandler: Ok, well, thanks, you won't regret it. I'll see you tomorrow.
Chandler: What? Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a junior copywriter.
Everybody: Oh my God, congratulations!
Monica: Oh, sweetie, I'm so proud of you!
Chandler: Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?
Monica: You bet! No TV or anything!
Joey: Hey, that is so great about the job. Chandler: Thanks, man. I'd like to think I had something to do with it.
Chandler: Really? What?
Joey: Well, before, with the wishbone ...
Chandler: I, uh, I didn't wish we would win the lottery, I wished you'd get the job.
Joey: Oh yeah.
Chandler: Listen, don't tell Monica, she'll rip your heart right out.
Joey: Oh, yeah.
Rachel: Wow, you know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win.
Ross: Uh, me too. So much for my dinosaur slash Amelia Earhart theme park.
Phoebe: You guys, what was the Powerball number again?
Monica and Ross: Seven.
Phoebe: We won.
Phoebe: We won!
Monica: Let me see, Let me see!
Phoebe: Don't tear it.
Ross: Phoebe, you don't have any of the first five numbers.
Phoebe: I know that, but look, we got the Powerball number, we won 3 dollars!
Chandler: Wow, you think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout.
Phoebe: I don't care, I've never won anything before, I can't believe this!
Rachel: Ohh. So, Pheebs, what're you going to do with your $3?
Phoebe: Well, it's not all mine. We all get 50 cents.
Monica: You know what? You can have mine.
Chandler: Me too.
Joey: Me too.
Rachel: Me too.
Ross: I guess if everybody else is ...
Joey: Hey, guys, so I just called the Powerball hotline, can you believe it? Nobody won.
Phoebe: I beg to differ.
Gunther: Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier, and he found a ticket on the street, right outside, and won $10,000.
Phoebe: Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It's not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! Seriously, stop staring at her.