Rachel: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.
Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Joey: No! And, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
Monica: Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation, and we were wondering if you would write one for us.
Rachel: Of course, I'd be honored!
Monica: Thank you!
Joey: I think there's been an oversight.
Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.
Monica: Yeah, it's just that we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".
Joey: Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!
Monica: Clearly we were wrong.
Joey: Look, I got a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And and I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
Monica: You know what? Then Joey we want you to do it.
Joey: Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start..."Dear baby adoption decider people..."
Chandler: So excited about your letter!
All: Hey Phoebe!
Monica: Wow! Don't you look nice? !
Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is um Mike and my one-year anniversary.
Rachel: Oh! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...
Chandler: So, you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate?
Phoebe: Uh...uh. Ehm, a Knicks game.
Joey: Uhm...Aren't you a little overdressed?
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy-pants, and...I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public restroom.
Monica: You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom!
Chandler: That's where people make number two!
Charlie: So, you know...I have a little time. If you uh...you want to...
Ross: Oh...Oh...I'd love to but I really have to grade these papers.
Charlie: Fine, it's fine...I'll just shower by myself...
Ross: B, B, B, B, B!
Charlie: Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue.
Ross: Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt.
Ross: Damn it!
Amy: Rachel! Open up! It's your sister! I have to talk to you!
Ross: Hi Amy!
Amy: You're not Rachel.
Ross: Still sharp as a tack!
Amy: Um...Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie.
Charlie: Nice to meet you.
Amy: H...Hi! And you are...?
Ross: Ross? I uh, I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year...I had a baby with your sister!
Amy: Uhm...did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?
Ross: Yes, yes, you did.
Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
Rachel: Amy! Hi! Oh...Wow! You remember Joey?
Amy: Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy!
Joey: That's right, yeah.
Amy: You're not good!
Joey: Always nice to meet a fan!
Rachel: So now, what are you doing here?
Amy: Well, I have huge news.
Rachel: Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!
Amy: Wait, this is important! Can Ella wait?
Ross: Ehm...Her name is Emma.
Amy: Why did you change it, Ella was so much prettier!
Ross: What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart!
Amy: Hey, your English is getting better!
Ross: Oh my God!
Joey: I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.
Ross: What're...what're you working on?
Joey: Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but...I don't know any big words or anything, so...
Ross: Why don't you use your thesaurus?
Joey: What did I just say?
Ross: Watch. Here, you uh, you highlight the word you wanna change. Go under Tools and the thesaurus generates...'gives'...'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
Joey: Oh, my God, that's great! I'm smart! No no, I'm..."brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!
Amy: God! So...beautiful.
Rachel: Oh, I know, isn't she?
Amy: No, I was talking about your bedding.
Rachel: All right. What's your news, Amy?
Amy: Oh! Well...I'm getting married.
Rachel: Wh? Oh my God! To who?
Amy: This guy! He has a killer apartment.
Amy: And it's on Fifth. And the elevator opens up right into the living room.
Rachel: No, what...what's he like?
Amy: Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark?
Amy: Uh, it's his dad.
Rachel: Wow, so he's gotta be...
Amy: Old? Yeah! But he travels a lot, so he's hardly ever there.
Rachel: Sweetie, I gotta tell ya...it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like...
Amy: Myron. Hmm...yeah, I told you he was old!
Rachel: Oh...sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn't love. Do you remember Barry?
Amy: Remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.
Rachel: Sometimes just nodding, is ok. Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made.
Honey, Amy, you...you deserve true love. Your...your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that...that you care about!
Amy: You're right, you're right! I'm...I'm gonna do it!
Amy: I'm gonna marry Myron and keep looking for Mr Right.
Rachel: Ok...Ok, let's keep talking.
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary...Uhm, yeah, sir, could you, could you move your nachos, they're in my seat. My anniversary.
Phoebe: Here we are! Can't believe it's been a whole year!
Mike: I know. This's been the best year...
Mike: This's been the best year of my life!
Phoebe: Me too! I never thought I could love someone this much!
Mike: I feel the same way!
Phoebe: You're so generous and kind, and you're amazing in bed! It's...It's our anniversary.
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask.
Phoebe: Oh how lame...oh, it's so tacky, and impersonal.
Phoebe: Oh, it's the worst way to propose!
Mike: Excuse me....
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. Here. And I think you'll be very, very happy. It's the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Chandler: I don't...uh...understand.
Joey: Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Monica: It doesn't make any sense.
Joey: Well of course it does! It's smart! I used the thesaurus!
Chandler: On every word?
Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally?
Joey: Oh, “They are warm, nice, people with big hearts”.
Chandler: And that became “they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?”
Joey: Yeah, yeah. And hey, I really mean it, dude.
Monica: Hey, Joey, I don't think we can use this.
Joey: Why not?
Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani.
Monica: Hey, why don't you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
Chandler: You know what? You don't need a thesaurus, just write from here, your full sized aortic pump.
Rachel: Amy, hi!
Amy: I took your advice, I left Myron.
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Amy: I know! I'm Erin Brockovich!
Rachel: Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you!
Amy: Thank you! So, can I stay with you?
Rachel: But, Erin Brockovich had her own house.
Joey: Ah, look who's back! Why do you have bags? Rach, Why does she have bags?
Amy: Well, I'm staying with you guys!
Amy: We're gonna be roomies! Come on!
Joey: You slept out here?
Rachel: Yeah...Amy kept kicking me in her sleep yelling 'Myron, get off!'
Joey: But uh, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we're getting rid of her.
Rachel: Joey, I can't do that!
Joey: Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza, and she said "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don't need that kind of talk in my house!
噢，不会吧。昨晚我刚吃完一半披萨，她就说“ 嘴上爽一把，屁♥股胖一生。” 在我家不许说这种话！
Rachel: Joey, uh look, I know that she's difficult, but I think it's really good that she's here.
Joey:'Cause we will appreciate it more when she's gone?
Rachel: No, it's just...look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me.
Joey: Yeah, Monica made us!
Rachel: Well...whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don't think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn't for you guys. See, now I wanna help Amy what way you guys helped me. And I know it's gonna take patience, but that's ok.
Amy: Good morning.
Rachel: Amy, that's what I was supposed to wear today, that's why I hung it on the door.
Amy: Oh, sweetie, you can't pull this off.
Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that uh maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down, and uh, you know, talk about your future.
Amy: Oh, I can't, honey. I'm gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. I am not happy. Uh...sure you wanna eat that?
Joey: I'm curvy and I like it!
Phoebe: I just had the worst anniversary ever.
Chandler: I doubt that! Tell her about us last year.
Monica: Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song.
Phoebe: Well, mine was worse than that.
Rachel: Well, what happened?
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Rachel: Oh, that is so tacky.
Phoebe: Well, that's what I said.
Phoebe: But it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night!
Monica: Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose?
Rachel: Phoebe, that's huge!
Ross: Well, do you wanna marry him?
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don't think he's ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this...
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and...
Chandler: Did I just say if I were a guy?
Monica: Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him!
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?
Monica: I proposed to Chandler! Alright, moving on...
Chandler: Oh, I don't think it was desperate, I think it was amazing!
Monica: Thank you.
Phoebe: Well, do you think I should propose?
Rachel: I think it could be kind of great!
Ross: Absolutely! You'll love the feeling! There's nothing like it!
Phoebe: Ok, ok, so how should I do it?
Monica: How about at a game, on the big screen?
Rachel: Uuuh! How about at a footlocker?
Monica: What? what? He obviously thinks that's a nice way to be proposed to, plus he'd never suspect it.
Phoebe: Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would...would you two like that?
Chandler: Sounds good to me...but what would a guy think?
Amy: Nana is on the phone.
Rachel: Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!
Amy: She did? Who got her condo in Boca?
Rachel: Hello? Oh, it's our nanny! Hi! Oh...God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today?
Ross: No, I can't. I have back-to-back classes. Did Molly say what she had? Because my throat's been hurting.
Rachel: Menstrual cramps.
Ross: I don't think that's what this is.
Rachel: Can any of you watch Emma?
Monica: No, sorry sweetie.
Phoebe: No, I've got work and then I'm proposing...
Rachel: Great, shoot, what're we gonna do?
Amy: Well, I can do it.
Rachel: Well, actually...
Ross: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Ross: Um, I do not want her babysitting our child.
Rachel: Why not?
Ross: Well, for one thing, she keeps calling her Ella!
Rachel: Ella's a nice name!
Ross: Fine, we'll call the next one Ella.
Rachel: What...the next one? Okay.
Ross: Um...I don't want her watching our baby.
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!
Ross: I...I...I don't know...
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
Amy: Um...listen, I couldn't help but overhear...'cause I was trying to...
Amy: Listen, let me do this al...alright? I really wanna help you guys out, and plus Rachel's been so wonderful to me...
Amy: Oh! Great! So how much does it pay?
Chandler: Hey Joe! How's the second draft of the letter coming?
Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
Monica: You dropped it off?
Chandler: Can we read it? Can you print out another copy?
Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it.
Monica: You hand-wrote it?
Joey: Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See you later!
Monica: Oh my God, oh my God, that letter is gonna go in our file! We're never gonna get a kid. No, we're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds!
Chandler: It's ok, it's ok. You know what? I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter.
Monica: Ok, good.
Chandler: Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and...Uh...huh...Uh...huh...ok...thank you. Goodbye...
Monica: Ugh, we're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store.
Chandler: They loved it.
Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
Monica: They thought Joey was a child?
Chandler: She guessed 8,9, based on his drawings.
Monica: Hey, what'd you guys do today?
Amy: Ella wanted to go out, so, we went shopping and got some sushi.
Chandler: That sounds like fun.
Amy: Yeah, not really. Babies are dull.
Rachel: Hey! Hi, how's my girl?
Amy: I'm fine! And, I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready?
Rachel: You pierced her ears? !
Amy: Doesn't it make her nose look smaller?
Rachel: You pierced her ears? How could you do this without telling me?
Amy: Well, if I had told you, then it wouldn't have been surprise, now would it?
Chandler: I think she looks cute.... but I am wrong!
Rachel: Oh, my God, Oh, my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Amy: Why, did something happen to his falafel cart?
Ross: Hey guys.
Monica and Chandler: Ross!
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see...
Rachel: Nah, I don't really want her to see.
Ross: Why, why not?
Monica: Because there are so many terrible sights in this world.
Chandler: Like war. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat?
Ross: Come here, Come here. Oh! There she is! Hi!
Ross: Hi! What...
Please tell me those are clip-ons.
Rachel: Oh, they're real!
Ross: Did she do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her!
Rachel: I know, I know, and you were right Ross. Ok, you are so irresponsible I am never letting you babysit ever again!
Amy: Hey you know what, this kid needs me, ok? She needs to have a cool fun aunt!
Monica: I'm a cool, fun aunt!
Chandler: Hey! Monica can be cool and fun at organized indoor projects!
Rachel: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?
Amy: Well, I don't need you to help me, because I already know what I'm going to do with my life.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Since when?
Amy: Since today...I am going to be...a baby stylist.
Ross: That's not a thing!
Amy: Well, it should be. I'm gonna help babies learn how to accessorize, what colors to wear, what clothes are slimming...
Rachel: Babies don't care if they're slim.
Amy: And turn Amy!
Ross: Amy, I ju...I just...I just wanna...
Amy: What? What're you gonna do?
Ross: No more falafel for you!
Mike: Great game, huh?
Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh...
Mike: Why do you keep looking at the screen?
Phoebe: I'm not. I'm praying. Please let the Knicks win...Thank you Thor!
Phoebe: Where...where're you going?
Mike: Gonna go to bathroom.
Phoebe: Well, I think you should wait.
Phoebe: Well, if you don't...if you don't hold it in, you don't...you don't get all the nutrients.
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.
Phoebe: Mike Hannigan, will you marry me?
Announcer: Get a load of this...She's proposing to a him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family.
Phoebe: That's not very enlightened!
Phoebe: Hey, hey! Boo us? Boo you! Odin will smite you!
Joey: Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani...Oh, hi! Well, I'm glad you liked my letter...No, my mommy and daddy aren't home right now...Ok, bye-bye. She was nice!
Rachel: Joey, get Amy's bags, she is moving out!
Amy: You're kicking me out?
Rachel: You put holes in my baby's ears!
Amy: Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl!
Rachel: I can't believe I ever even tried to help you. You are so beyond help.
Amy: You know what? Ever since I got here, you have been nothing but negative!
Rachel: Excuse me?
Amy: You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws. And suddenly I am the bad guy?
Rachel: Joey, where are those bags?
Joey: She has a lot of crap!
Amy: You know what? When I moved in here I thought: This is gonna be so great. Just us sisters, back together again like when we were kids, except without that stupid Jill...Oh! Who has gotten fat by the way...
Amy: Hm-mmm...Mom said she gained like fifteen pounds.
Rachel: Hips or thighs?
Amy: Ass and face.
Rachel: Oh my God! I thought she was on Atkins.
Amy: She was. Carbs abandon her...
Amy: See, this is what I wanted. Two sisters, talking about real stuff.
Rachel: Oh, I can give you that.
Amy: You can?
Rachel: Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're...you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are.
Amy: Thank you. I've got to admit, Emma does look cute.
Rachel: Did you just say Emma?
Amy: Ugh, I'm sorry...Ella. Sis, you wanna go, bring Jill some pasta?
Rachel: Oh Amy, no, that's just wrong. Her true weakness is garlic bread.
Phoebe: That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls.
Mike: Please, let's just forget the whole thing.
Phoebe: I would love it. Consider it forgotten.
Mike: Thank you.
Phoebe: But just so you know...however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether...whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Phoebe: It...it's in the cake, isn't it?
Mike: Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it?
Phoebe: What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I...I wanna spend the rest of my life with you and...
Mike: I'm gonna do this now.
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Mike: Phoebe, I...
Phoebe: Wait! Oh wait! Oh no!
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no one else in the world I would ask to marry me...three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you. Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Mike: I love you!
Phoebe: I love you more!
Mike: Not possible.
Mike: She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
Rachel: So how is the uhm...baby styling business going?
Amy: Not that great. It's, it's almost as if people don't wanna hear that their babies are ugly.
Rachel: That's shocking!
Amy: Oh! It's Ross...Hey Ross! Hello, Ross! Uh, he's rude!