Ross: Hey you guys!
嗨，大家！
Phoebe: Hey!
嗨！
Ross: Hey, what're you doing?
嘿，你在干什么？
Mike: Oh, figuring out our wedding plans.
筹备婚礼。
Chandler: That's funny, we were doing the same thing!
有趣得很，我们也正合计这事呢。
Ross: Yeah!
好吧。
Phoebe: It's really crazy! The hall, the dress, the food, I...I had no idea how expensive this stuff was!
疯了，场地，服装，食品，没想到结个婚这么贵。
Chandler: Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.
是很贵。第一次算出结婚费用，我被那个数字吓呆了。
Phoebe: So what did you two do about it?
结果你们怎么做的？
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
简单，我各个项目都想出了一些省钱的方案，结果莫妮卡叫我去死。
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just kinda have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
没钱好省的菲比，接受事实，这的确很费钱。
Mike: I heard the weddings were like a 40 billion dollar a year industry.
听说每年花在结婚上的钱高达400亿。
Ross: Yeah, and I'm responsible for just like half of that.
是啊，这其中我贡献过半。
Phoebe: I don't know. This...it's a lot of money to spend on one day.
我不知道，一天花这么多钱太过了。
Mike: Hey, I've been married before, I don't need a big wedding. All I ask is that you don't do ecstasy and make out with my brother.
嘿，我以前结过婚，我都没有盛大的婚礼。我所想知道的是，你没有迷上我弟弟并和他上床。
Phoebe: But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use.
我觉得这钱应该用在更有意义的事上。
Ross: Hey, you could buy a ton of Amway products.
嘿，你可以买♥一吨安利的产品。
Phoebe: Or, give it all to charity.
或者全部捐给慈善机构。
Ross: Oh, that's great. How am I gonna unload all those Amway products.
喔，这个想法不错。那些安利的东西该怎么样卸货呢？
Mike: Are you serious?
当真？
Phoebe: Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and...and we just got married at City Hall?
把婚礼经费捐献给慈善事业，我们就到市政厅登个记。如何？
Mike: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more.
这让我越发想娶你了！
Ross: I've gotta say you guys, that's...that's an incredible gesture!
我必须要说，真是个高姿态。
Chandler: Maybe you do that next time you get married!
下次你结婚也这么干如何？
Ross: No no no. The next time it's gonna be Hawaii at sunset. But maybe the time after that!
下次我要在夏威夷斜阳下结婚。下下次吧。
Joey: Hey!
嘿！
Chandler: Hey!
嘿！
Joey: What's going on?
忙啥呢？
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we're cleaning the apartment.
领养中心有人来家访，所以我们在扫除。
Monica: “We?”
我们？
Chandler: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!
你说不想我掺和，怎么又责怪我不干活。
Joey: Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you get a baby?
你们能否领养全靠这个人说了算？
Chandler: Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live.
差不多，这人来视察我们的生活环境。
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
我们必须表现得完美，若她有丝毫不满，我们就永远没戏。
Joey: Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity.
我可以过来友情协力一把，她没准爱看肥皂剧。小人物认识演艺名流，可以加分呢。
Chandler: Little people?
小人物？
Joey: Celebrity.
名流。
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, um, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like...porn or cigarettes?
差不多满分了，除非你还有什么，像黄书，香烟？
Chandler: What? No!
什么？才没有！
Monica: Chandler?
钱德？
Chandler: I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!
你无中生有，污人清白。
Monica: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?
沙发下没有杂志？厕所水箱后没有一包香烟？录像机里没有下流影片？
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
香烟和杂志我认帐，但带子不是我的！
Monica: Well, it isn't mine!
也不是我的！
Joey: I guess we'll never know whose it is!
永远不会知道是谁的了！
Charity guy: May I help you?
可以帮忙吗？
Phoebe: Yes. We're here to make a rather sizable donation to the children.
我们来捐钱给孩子。
Charity guy: Well, any contribution, large or small, is always appreciated.
捐钱不论多少，心意都是一样重，我们都会感激。
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one.
数目这样大，你一定会异常感激。
Charity guy: Well, this is very generous!
你们真大方。
Phoebe: And we don't want any recognition. This is completely anonymous.
我们不留名。匿名捐助。
Mike: Completely anonymous. From two kind strangers.
完全匿名，两个陌生好人。
Phoebe: Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.
X先生和菲比布菲。
Charity guy: Well if you like, we can include your names in our newsletter.
我们可以把二位的名字登到新闻通讯里。
Mike: Not necessary.
没必要。
Phoebe: Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y.
布菲的拼法是：B-U-F-F-A-Y.
Mike: And "X" is spelled uh..."Mike Hannigan". Possible headline: "Attractive Couple Makes World Better."
X先生的写法是：麦克。哈纳根，也许标题应该写："迷人的夫妇让世界变的更好。"
Charity guy: Right. Well, on behalf of the children: thank you both very much.
我代表孩子们多谢两位。
Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
感觉真棒。
Mike: It does. It feels really good!
是啊，非常棒。
Phoebe: Oh, look! And we get these free T-shirts!
还有免♥费T恤拿。
Charity guy: Oh, actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym.
那是我健身穿的。
Phoebe: Mhm...it's moist.
难怪是湿的。
Rachel: Hi! Emma will be up in a minute!
嗨！艾玛会很快起床的。
Ross: Oh, good!
哦，好的。
Rachel: Oh hey Ross...Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
嘿，罗斯...听说你跟查莉的事了，替你难过。
Ross: Oh, that's OK.I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there.
没事，美貌的考古学家多的是！
Rachel: Absolutely.
当然！
Ross: There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!
只有一个！就是她！其他的就好象是桥洞居民一样！
Rachel: So, uh...what're you gonna do today?
今天想怎么玩？
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
带艾玛去街心游乐场怎么样？
Rachel: Oh my God, what? !
上帝啊，什么？！
Ross: Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!
我又没说带她去武器弹♥药博物馆。
Rachel: Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.
我反对艾玛去游乐场。
Ross: Because...?
因为...？
Rachel: All right, well, if you must know...I had a traumatic...swing incident...when I was little.
好吧，如果你想知道…我小时候荡秋千遇险。
Ross: Seriously?
真的？
Rachel: Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! And it was uneven for weeks!
我才四岁我荡秋千，突然头发缠到铁链。结果妈妈剪掉我一大缕头发，才救我出来，有好几星期头发都不整齐。
Ross: And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
你竟熬了过来？简直可以拍成电影。
Rachel: Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.
你尽管拿我取笑，反正我就是不想艾玛去，而且我在想克莱尔·丹尼斯（电视电影演员）。
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
你的悲剧令我同情不过秋千很安全，而且艾玛喜欢荡秋千。我们同去，你就知道了。
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're...and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
秋千速度40英里/小时，荡到高处鬼才知道会不会返回地球。
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. Look, please, just come on, you know, when you see the look on Emma's face, I swear you won't regret it.
宇宙充满小孩子绕轨道运行。来嘛，你若看见艾玛的小表情，决不会后悔。
Rachel: All right!
好吧。
Ross: Good, you know, you don't wanna be one of those mothers who pass on their irrational fears to their children, do you?
太好了。你不会像有的妈妈那样，把自己愚昧的恐惧遗传给小孩吧。
Rachel: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I'll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!
愚昧？下次你被家里的蜘蛛吓到，我们再谈这个话题。
Ross: Oh, yeah, that's the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
这两个可以相提并论吗！我保证那上面有30种毒液。
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
哦，天哪，领养中心的来早了。
Chandler: Ok, ok, here we go.
好的，好的。镇静。
Monica: Ok.
好。
Chandler: here we go.
镇静！
Chandler: Stand up straight. Big smile.
站直咯，微笑。
Phoebe: Hello, is this the creepy residence?
你好，请问这是"毛骨悚然"家吗？
Monica: We're waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I'm glad you're here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this. I don't know if you wanna use it, but...
还以为是领养中心的来了，你来得正好。今早打扫时发现的，不知道你用不用得上，我不知道你是不是想用，但是...
Phoebe: Aww, this is so sweet of you! Aww, but you know what? I won't be needing a veil, I actually won't be wearing a dress at all!
你真好！不过我不需要头纱，我根本不需要服装。
Monica: I told you I am not coming to a naked wedding!
裸体婚礼，我不会参加的！
Phoebe: No, no, no, we're just...we're not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate it to a children's charity.
不不不，我们不会开招待会，我们把婚礼经费捐给儿童慈善事业了。
Monica: That's crazy!
你疯啦？
Chandler: Generous.
慷慨！
Monica: Crazy generous! I am sorry. I just...I can't imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
疯得这么慷慨。抱歉，只是无法想象。一生只有一次啊。
Phoebe: Yeah, well, we're different! You know, I don't care about having a huge party. This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? And, ow, I just look like, well, radiant.
我们不同！我不在乎什么盛大婚礼。头纱是很美，但是你看我一戴上，简直就…美极了。
Phoebe: All right, but who cares, you know I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
管它的！我不需要头纱婚纱这些玩意。
Monica: That's right. You're making a commitment and you know that's the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
对！你们是互许终身，不管在广场举行还是别的什么地方都是一样。你选了啥地方？
Phoebe: City Hall. Ow!
市政厅。 哦！
Monica: Oh, that sounds nice! Now, I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
哦！好地方！市政厅的人该忙不过来了。
Phoebe: Ok, now, it's ok, it's ok, it's OK! I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding.
没关系，这是我自己的决定。但我真正想要的，只是一个盛大的婚礼。
Chandler: But you already gave all the money to charity!
但钱已经捐啦。
Phoebe: Well, I'll just ask for it back!
可以要回来。
Chandler: I don't think you can do that!
不行吧。
Monica: Why not? ! This is her wedding day, that's way more important than some stupid kids!
怎么不行？她结婚！这可比什么愚蠢的小孩子重要多了！
Chandler: That's sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption lady.
说得好，省着点，等领养中心的人来了再表演不好吗。
Rachel: All right, ok. Be careful.
好，准备就绪。
Ross: Ok.
好。
Rachel: Careful, watch her hair. Watch her hair!
小心，小心她头发，小心她头发！
Ross: Rach, she's got like three hairs!
她才三根毛！
Rachel: I know, I know but they're just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.
我知道，我知道。但是很漂亮，糟糕，扯掉一根。
Ross: I promise you she's safe! Ok? Now, watch, watch how much she loves this.
我保证，她很安全，你看她多喜欢玩秋千。
Rachel: Ok.
好吧，好吧。
Ross: Are you ready sweetie? Here we go!
你准备好了吗，亲爱的？开始喽。
Rachel: Ok, careful, ok. Oh! Oh! Oh, She's smiling! Oh look at that, she does like it!
小心，她笑了！她真的很喜欢！
Ross: See, I told you!
看，我告诉过你的吧。
Rachel: Awe!
哇哦！
Rachel: Oh my God! Look, she's a little daredevil! Oh, God, oh, let me push, can I push?
哦，天啊，看看她，真有不怕死的精神。让我推好不好？
Ross: Oh, absolutely!
哦，当然。
Rachel: Ok.
好的。
Rachel: Oh God. Ok, get...get the camera, it's...it's in the diaper bag.
你拿相机，在尿布包里。
Ross: Ok! See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly. Ow!
好。还怕秋千，真够傻吧？哦！
Mike: We're seriously asking for the money back?
我们真要把钱要回来？
Phoebe: It's for our wedding day! Alright, now, is this guy gay or straight, 'cause one of us is gonna have to start flirting.
结婚要用！他喜欢男的还是女的？我们中的一个要去跟他调情。
Charity guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don't think that's ever happened before.
同一天捐两次钱，前所未有呢。
Phoebe: Gay, go.
是个同性恋，你上。
Mike: Oh my God, I love your shirt!
你衣裳真帅！
Phoebe: The donation we made earlier, uh, well...we...we want...we want it back.
今天捐的钱，我们想要回。
Charity guy: Excuse me?
啊？
Phoebe: Yeah. See, ok, that money was for a, a big wedding, that we thought we didn't want, but it turns out we do.
那是办婚礼的钱，我们本想从简，但现在我们改变了主意。
Charity guy: So, you're asking us to refund your donation to the children?
要我们退还你们捐给孩子们的钱？
Mike: Yeah! This feels really good.
对！感觉不错。
Phoebe: I...I'm...I'm sorry. I am, but you know, this wedding is just really important to me.
对不起，但婚礼对我相当重要。
Charity guy: Hey, it's not my business, besides it's probably a good thing. We really'd been spoiling the children with all the food and warm clothing.
关我啥事。这也许是好事，别把孩子惯坏了，让他们吃饱穿暖怎么行。
Phoebe: That's not fair. A person's wedding is important. And especially to me. Ok? I...I didn't have a graduation party. And I didn't go to prom. And I spent my sweet 16 being chased around a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who in his own words, wanted to: "Kill me, or whatever." So I deserve a real celebration. And I'm not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.
这么说不公平，结婚是大事尤其对我！我没参加过毕业典礼，没有毕业舞会。在我的甜蜜16岁，我被精神病人狂追，他还说"杀"我什么的。我应当有个隆重的婚礼！你这个流汗男，别想让我内疚！
Mike: She could've been talking about either one of us.
她可能在说我俩其中的一个。
Monica: Okay. Here we go.
好的，来吧。
Chandler: Good luck.
祝好运。
Monica: Tongue, really?
你在舌吻？
Laura: Hi, I am Laura, I am here for your adoption interview.
我叫劳拉，我来做领养家访。
Monica: Hi, I am Monica, and this is Chandler.
我叫莫妮卡，他叫钱德。
Laura: Hi.
嗨。
Monica: Please come in.
请进。
Laura: Thank you!
谢谢！
Monica: Would you like something to drink?
请进。喝点什么？
Laura: Oh, water would be fine.
喝水可以了。
Monica: Ok. Great. We're so glad that you're here. We're really excited about getting this process started.
你总算来了。我们好兴奋，要开始领养小孩了。
Chandler: Because we love kids. Loving to death. Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech: we love kids the appropriate amount...as allowed by law.
我们爱小孩，爱得要死。不是要孩子"死"，只是修辞手法，我们爱孩子，不多不少，符合法律法规。
Laura: Your place is just lovely.
你们家好温馨。
Monica: Ah, thank you. Yes this building does have a wholesome family feel to it.
谢谢。这里有家的温暖。
Laura: You know, I...I feel like I've been here before. Are any other couples in the building adopting?
我好象来过，这里还有谁申请领养？
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs.
一楼那家？我们应该比他们先要孩子。他还想卖毒品给我。
Chandler: But other than that...wholesome, wholesome building.
其他都是好人。
Laura: Oh.
哦。
Chandler: What?
怎么？
Laura: I just realized why I remember this place.
我想起来了，难怪来过。
Monica: Really? What is it?
怎么？
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
哦，没什么！我和一个男人约会，结果无疾而终。
Monica: That wouldn't by any chance be...Joey Tribbiani?
那人该不是叫乔伊崔比亚尼吧？
Laura: Yes!
就是他！
Chandler: Of course it was!
当然是他。
Laura: Yeah, we had a really great night and in the morning he promised he would call me and he didn't.
我们有过一个很棒的晚上，过后，他说他再打电♥话给我，结果再没联络！
Chandler: Rat bastard! So you're not friends with him?
这混球！你们该不是他朋友吧？
Monica: Oh, God, no.
当然不是！不！
Chandler: no.
不是！
Monica and Chandler: No, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! No!
不不不不不...
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home...
抱歉提这事。那么，你们当中有人打算待在家里...
Joey: Hello? Anybody in there ordered a celebrity.
有人吗？名人驾到。
Laura: What was that?
什么人？
Chandler: Oh, it's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. He's great with kids though.
走廊上的疯子，不过他对小孩很慈祥。
Rachel: Oh, God, Ross, oh my God, are you ok?
罗斯，噢，天啊，你还好吗？
Ross: Son of a bitch! Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word!
他娘的！别紧张，我又没说F打头那个字（fuck）！
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
罗斯，看，早告诉你了，秋千危险算了，这辈子再也不许艾玛接近它。
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, ok, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that kid's fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
别这样，不是秋千的错，是我错，还有他的错。他还笑，算你狠。
Rachel: Ross, come on, please. Can we just get out of here, before somebody else gets hurt?
在再有人受伤之前，我们走吧。
Ross: No wait, ok, ok, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, ok? And...and you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.
这样吧，你去荡秋千，你就会…发现那有多安全。
Rachel: I know what this is all about...You've always been jealous of my hair.
我明白了...你一贯嫉妒我的头发。
Ross: Look, I just think you're an adult, ok? And and you should get over your silly fears.
这才是成年人的做法，克服愚蠢的恐惧。
Rachel: Alright fine. I'll do it.
好！我要做。
Ross: Good.
好！
Rachel: If you hold a spider.
如果你敢抓蜘蛛。
Ross: Where? ! Where? !
在哪儿？
Rachel: If you hold a spider.
我说"如果"你敢抓蜘蛛。
Ross: I know.
听见了。
Joey: Guys? Is everything ok? It's me, Joe...
没事吧？是我，乔…
Chandler: Adoption!
领养！
Laura: What's going on?
到底什么事？
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy...Bert...roaming the halls.
就是那个疯子名叫伯特的，在走廊上跑。
Joey: Guys!
嗨！
Monica: Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!
伯特，接着跑。今天我们不看你疯了！
Laura: Is he all right there by himself?
他独自一个在外面，不会出事吧？
Chander: Oh, yeah. He has a caretaker. His older brother...Ernie.
没事，他哥哥照顾他...叫厄尼。
Laura: Bert and Ernie?
伯特和厄尼？(芝麻街的动画角色)？
Chandler: You can't make this stuff up.
绝对不是编造的。
Joey: What's going on?
怎么了？
Chandler: We'll talk later! Everything's fine!
我们等会再说伯特，一切都好！
Joey: Everything doesn't sound fine!
听起来一切都不好！
Chandler: Bert and Ernie have a big yellow bird.
伯特和厄尼有一只大黄鸟！
Mike: You never told me about that guy on your sweet sixteen. Oh, I'm sorry about that.
你没说过你16岁时被男人追杀的故事。真可怜。
Phoebe: Oh, it ended okay. One of my friends shot him.
结局还算好，我朋友毙了他。
Mike: Well, hey, at least you're getting a proper wedding. I mean, you really deserve that.
至少你会有个体面婚礼，你该得的。
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. Just like the kids I took the money from.
没错，我这辈子还没风光过。就像被我剥夺金钱的那些孩子一样。
Mike: No! No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there.
看出你的意思了，别又想让我退回去。
Phoebe: I'm sorry, but I wanna re-give the money to the children.
抱歉，但我又想把钱给孩子们了。
Mike: But we CAN'T! I mean you called the guy a sweaty little man. Unless you were talking about me, I don't know. We never really cleared that up.
但是我们不能，我是说你管那男人叫流汗男，除非你在说我，我们从没说清楚过那件事。
Phoebe: Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.
我不能用这钱办婚事，这不道德。
Mike: Alright, fine. We'll give the money back.
好吧，退回去吧。
Phoebe: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
如果慈善捐助处那家伙又叫咱们难堪，我朋友好久没开过枪了。
Laura: Well, I must say, this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in.
我想说，你们的家庭抚养小孩似乎很理想。
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
你尽可以在各种家具下面搜查绝无黄书和香烟什么的！
Laura: Oh! actually, before we look around, let me make sure I have everything I need up to here.
在到处看看之前，要问你们一些问题。
Monica: Why don't I show you the baby's room?
带你看看婴儿房。
Chandler: What the hell are you doing?
你干什么？
Joey: Well, you wouldn't let me in, so I thought you were in trouble.
你不让我进来。我以为你们出事了。
Chandler: Well, we're not.
才没有！
Joey: But you called me Bert! That's our code word for danger!
但你叫我"伯特"，那是"危险"的暗号。
Chandler: We don't have a code word.
我们没约定过什么暗号。
Joey: We don't? We really should. From now on, Bert will be our code word for danger.
是吗？应该约一个从今往后，"伯特"就用来作为遇到危险的暗号。
Monica: So that was the baby's room.
参观完婴儿房。
Monica: What room should we see next?
下面参观哪里？
Chandler: Any room that isn't behind this couch!
除了沙发下面都可以参观！
Monica: Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny!
有些人不懂他的笑话，但我觉得他真幽默。
Joey: I did not care for that.
我不在乎被你粗暴对待。
Chandler: You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
你得回避你和这个社工睡过，再没联络她她还在生你的气，不能让她见你。
Joey: Ok, ok!
好，好！
Chandler: Ok.
好！
Chandler: What?
怎么了？
Joey: I forgot my bat.
忘了拿球棒。
Laura: Oh my God!
天啊！
Chandler: And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you! And we don't wanna buy your bat!
最后警告，我们不想和你做朋友！也不想买♥你的球棒！
Laura: What are you doing here?
你在这儿干什么？
Joey: Bert! Bert! Bert!
伯特，伯特，伯特。
Laura: Are you friends with him?
你们是朋友？
Chandler: I can explain...Joey.
我来解释...乔伊你说。
Joey: Uh...ok...uh...Well, yeah...You, have got some nerve, coming back here. I can't believe you never called me.
好吧！你有种，还敢回来。你竟不打电♥话给我。
Laura: Excuse me?
什么？
Joey: Oh...yeah...Probably you don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it...lady. Yeah! I waited weeks for you to call me.
你连我名字也忘了，我叫乔伊。不必说你的名字，我记得，女士！我一直等你电♥话。
Laura: I gave you my number, you never called me.
我给你电♥话号码，你没联络我。
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kinda...social work, ok, that you can just...do.
还想栽赃给我，我可不是让你想做就做的＂社工＂.
Laura: Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
我确信给过你电♥话。
Joey: Really? Think about it. Come on! You're a beautiful woman, smart, funny, we had a really good time, huh? If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?
真的？你想想看。你漂亮，聪明，有趣咱们相处甚欢，如果我有你电♥话，怎么可能不打给你？
Laura: I don't know. Well, maybe I'm wrong. I'm sorry...
不知道，可能我搞错了，对不起...
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies...ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you?
现在道歉太晚啦，你伤了我的心！就为了忘掉你，我睡了多少女人啊！
Laura: Joey, wait!
乔伊，等等。
Joey: NO! I waited a long time, I can't wait anymore.
不！我等得够久，不可能再等了。
Laura: I'm sorry that you had to see that. I'm so embarrassed.
抱歉让你们笑话了，真尴尬。
Chandler: Oh, that's really ok.
没事。
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
我们理解。约会可够人受的。
Laura: Boy, you people are nice. And I've got to say...I think you're going to make excellent parents.
你们真好！我得说…你们一定会是很棒的父母。
Joey: Laura!
劳拉！
Phoebe: We're back!
我们回来啦。
Charity guy: Are you here to take more money? Because, I think what you're looking for is an ATM.
还想要钱？你们应该找提款机。
Mike: No, no, we're here to give the money back.
不不，我们把钱退给你们。
Phoebe: Yeah, because you know what, it's...it's all about the children.
为了孩子。
Phoebe: Although...it's also about the wedding...Ugh, alright...here. No...Oh God...Oh!
至于我们的婚礼好吧，给。不要！喔天啊！
Charity guy: If I haven't said so already sir, congratulations!
好像忘了道喜，恭喜你们。
Phoebe: Oh wait, wait! What if, what if we give half to the charity and we keep half? Or, no, like, 75 percent for us and 25 percent for the children...Or, no, like, 90-10.
哦，等等。如果我们捐一半留一半呢？或者，就象我们留75%，而另外25%... 或者，90%和10%.
Mike: Ok, you know what? Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. Now, what do you think we should do?
好啦！你知道吗？已经够了，好吗？我要插手，而且做决定作为你的未来老公，我要说了算你说咋办？
Charity guy: You know what? It's not your decision anymore.
不是你们说了算了。
Mike: What?
什么？
Charity guy: On behalf of the Children of New York, I reject your money.
代表纽约儿童，我拒收你们的捐款。
Phoebe: But, we're...we're giving you this!
但是我们在给你钱啊。
Charity guy: Yeah...And I'm giving it back to you...Come on! Consider it a contribution.
退给你们当作赞助好了。
Phoebe: Well, this is very generous!
你真大方！
Charity guy: Please, take the check, go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together.
支票拿走，祝你们婚礼成功，幸福甜蜜。
Mike: Well, I mean...It sounds good to me. And that way we can save up, come back in a few years and make an even bigger donation.
听来不错，我们以后存了钱，过两年捐更多。
Charity guy: Absolutely! And when you do, make sure you ask for Brian.
好得很，下次记得找布莱恩。
Phoebe: Oh, is that you?
布莱恩是你？
Charity guy: No!
不！
Monica: Hello? Oh hi! Oh my God! Really? I can't wait to tell Chandler. Ok, goodbye.
喂？哦，嗨！喂，天啊，真的，我等不及要告诉钱德好，再见！
Chandler: Wrong number?
打错电♥话的？
Monica: It was Laura. She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list.
是劳拉她替我们大大美言，我们正式上了领养排队名单。
Chandler: That's great!
太好了！
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and...and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Ohh.
下个电♥话就会有人说有宝宝等我们去领养了。
Chandler: Hello? Have you seen Joey's bat?
喂？看见乔伊的球棒了吗？
Rachel: Ok. I got a spider. There were two, I picked the bigger one.
好了，我捉到了蜘蛛！有两只，我挑了大的一只。
Ross: Ok...
好的...
Rachel: Good.
好的。
Ross: This feels perfectly normal. Ok, get on the swing!
感觉一切正常。好了，你上秋千去。
Rachel: Ok. Ok...
好啊。好...
Rachel: Ok! Whoo. Ok.
好啊！
Ross: See?
看到了吗？
Rachel: Alright! I can do this.
啊，没事了，我可以玩秋千了。
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I...I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
是啊。干得好！知道吗？我习惯小蜘蛛啦。我甚至感觉不到它的存在。
Rachel: That's 'cause he's on your neck.
那是因为它在你脖子上。
Ross: What? Aaah! Aaahh!
啥？！
Rachel: ROSS!
罗斯！