Joey: Hey, Emma, you better appreciate this while it lasts because when you get older, you're not gonna be able to just sit around all day.
Rachel: Yeah. So true.
Chandler: We're just here to say goodbye, we're off to Ohio.
Phoebe: Oh, right! Your adoption interview!
Monica: Yep, we're gonna meet the lady who could be carrying our baby.
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Chandler: And so incorrect!
Monica: She's only a couple of months pregnant. She liked our application but who knows if she's gonna like us.
Ross: Oh, come on, she's gonna love you guys!
Chandler: Uh, thank you, but we're really trying not to get our hopes up.
Monica: And a lot could still get in our way.
Chandler: Yeah. I mean, this girl could decide against adoption or she could like another couple better.
Phoebe: What are you gonna name the baby?
Chandler: I can develop a condition in which I talk and talk and no one hears a word.
Joey: But just think, ok? What if everything goes right? What if this woman does pick you guys?
Monica: Oh my God. She's gonna pick us!
Chandler: So we're standing firm on the 'not getting our hopes up?
Monica: No no, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
Chandler: Yes, but...
Monica: Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me...A BABY!
Chandler: Oh, screw it, I'm gonna be a daddy!
Rachel: Hey, who's Phoebe with?
Rachel: No, Joey. Who is Phoebe with at the door?
Joey: I wanna say someone I'm gonna have sex with.
Joey: So uh, who's your friend?
Phoebe: Oh, that's Sarah. No no. Don't you get any ideas, ok? No, I'm not setting you up with any more of my friends.
Joey: OW, why, why, why?
Phoebe: Because, you'll date her once, sleep with her and then forget she exists!
Joey: Oh, name one friend of yours that I did that with.
Joey: Mandy, uh? Uh...really hot blonde, big boobs?
Joey: Might be why I don't remember her, huh?
Rachel: Do you think I'm someone else?
Joey: Ok look, I may not have treated your friends well in the past, but I have grown up a lot, really. Honest, Rach?
Rachel: Well, believe it or not, it's true. I mean when Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!
Phoebe: Fine, I'll give you her number.
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. Mandy.
Ross: Hey you guys, I need some fashion advice.
Ross: How's this look?
Rachel: Well, it's...it's a little low...pick up a little...a little bit more...a little bit more...There you go! Now throw it away!
Ross: Come on! This looks good!
Rachel: Ross, please, trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that...NATO guy is, but, I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat.
Ross: Damn it! I have this date tomorrow night and I, I have to look cool!
Joey: Well, who's the girl?
Ross: Her name's Joan. She's in fashion. She works for Hugo Boss.
Rachel: Hugo Boss? I thought you said she was in fashion. Agh, at the Ralph Lauren offices, that would've killed.
Phoebe: Well, if you need fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right?
Ross: Really? That would be great. I, I mean, I have to do something, she kinda teased me about how I dress.
Joey: I can see why, nice shirt!
Ross: You're wearing the same shirt.
Joey: Stupid Gap on every corner!
Agency guy: Please, make yourself comfortable and I will back in a moment with Erica.
Monica: Ok, thank you. Well, this is it. Are you OK?
Chandler: Yeah. It's just weird, you know. It's like: "Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?"
Monica: You're gonna be great.
Chandler: You're gonna be great.
Monica: Well, obviously!
Agency guy: Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica.
Monica: Hi. It is so, so nice to meet you.
Chandler: Thank you so much for agreeing to see us.
Agency guy: I'll let you get acquainted.
Erica: So, it's Monica and Chandler. I only know you as file CRW33815-D.
Chandler: That's what our friends call us.
Erica: Gosh, you know, you're just such an amazing couple. It's...kind of intimidating.
Monica: Oh, I don't know about that.
Erica: You're kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you are a doctor. But on top of it, you're married to a reverend?
Chandler: I don't think that's exactly...
Monica: Let her finish, doctor.
Phoebe: Oh, my friend Sarah had a great time last night.
Phoebe: Yeah! So you're gonna call this one back?
Phoebe: What're you talking about? Sarah's great!
Joey: Oh, really? You know what your great friend did? We're out to dinner, ok? We're getting along, having a really nice time. I was thinking she was really cool. And then, out of nowhere...
Phoebe: That's it? That, that's why you won't go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal!
Joey: Hey, hey, look! It's not about a few fries...it's about what the fries represent.
Joey: All food!
Phoebe: Oh, I'm, I'm sorry, I, I, I can't believe I set you up with such a MONSTER!
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don't order a garden salad and then eat my food! That's a good way to lose some fingers!
Phoebe: Thank God you're here. Listen to this!
Phoebe: So Joey and my friend were out last night, they're having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries...
Rachel: Oh, no!
Phoebe: What? You, you know about the, the plate thing?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, yeah. No, Joey doesn't share food. I mean, just, just last week we were having breakfast and he...he had a couple of grapes on his plate...
Phoebe: You wouldn't let her have a grape?
Rachel: Oh no! Not me! Emma!
Joey: Joey doesn't share food!
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it's a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! Ok? And if...if you need to, then just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Joey: I like that! A sharing buffer! Yeah, yeah! I'll order some extra fries! Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah, yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some Buffalo wings. Maybe, maybe an individual pizza, uh? And some mozzarella sticks. What were we talking about?
Phoebe: This place is awesome! Everyone is so mean. So fun!
Ross: You know what, we should just go, I'm not gonna find anything here! This stuff is ridiculous!
Rachel: Ah, this place is great!
Phoebe: Wow! Ok, you guys have fun, I'm gonna go talk to people in this voice.
Ross: Rach, come on, I'm not gonna wear any of this! Nothing silver...Ok? Nothing with hair! And nothing with padlocks on it!
Rachel: Ross, look, I know that some of this stuff is out there, but I mean, come on, look at this, look at this sweater! I mean, this is just beautiful!
Ross: Wow, this is really soft. Three hundred and fifty dollars?
Rachel: Down from seven hundred, you are saving like two hundred bucks!
Ross: Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today.
Phoebe: Hey, check this out! It's totally you!
Ross: Actually this, this looks like pretty good! Yeah! "Boys will be boys"?
Phoebe: What? They will be!
Ross: All right, that's it, I'm getting out of here.
Rachel: No no no! Ross, wait! Come on! All right, you know what, there's other stuff. Here's a nice shirt, look at these, these nice pants...
Ross: Actually these...these might look pretty good on me.
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I'm...I'm gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Rachel: Yes! And I know what looks sexy on guys. Please, just wear what I suggest, and she's gonna go nuts for you.
Ross: So, you're saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers?
Rachel: Why do men keep talking to me like this?
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife's a reverend, that's important to you?
Erica: Yeah, I read some great applications, but then I thought "who better than a minister to raise a child?"
Erica: Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor!
Monica: Uh, good hands. Healing hands.
Erica: Reverend, can I ask? Does the Bible say anything about adoption?
Monica: It says "Do it!" And behold she did adopt unto them a baby. And it was good.
Chandler: Yeah, wow.
Erica: I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock?
Monica: My, my flock?
Chandler: People in your church.
Monica: Oh, my flock! Oh no no, my flock, my flock is good, Yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves by this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock.
Erica: But being a doctor, that must take up a lot of time.
Chandler: Not for me it doesn't.
Agency guy: So, how's everything going in here?
Erica: We're great, I think I may have asked all my questions.
Agency guy: Good. Well, do you have any question for Erica?
Chandler: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and then you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?
Agency guy: Oh, yes, our system assures total anonymity. We're very proud of it.
Chandler: You should be. You're really on top of stuff.
Agency guy: Well, then, if there's nothing else, then the two of us should talk.
Erica: Actually, I don't think we have to.
Monica: You don't?
Erica: Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but, I just thought we should meet face to face...I've made my decision. I choose them.
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! Did you hear that?
Chandler: Yeah, I did.
Monica: Ok, thank you. Thank you so much...You are so going to Heaven!
Rachel: Oh, we got some really great stuff!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah but I am not sure about some of the bra's I got.
Rachel: Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me?
Phoebe: Oh! ok. Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
Rachel: Oh, no! I took one of Ross' bags by mistake, and one of mine is missing.
Phoebe: Oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later.
Ross: So? What do you think?
Joey: I think we're not wearing the same shirt anymore!
Ross: Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Joey: Dude, I really don't think you should be wearing that.
Ross: Oh, I see, somebody is afraid of a little competition with the ladies?
Joey: Looks like someone is the ladies!
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me I have a date. See? All eyes on me!
Chandler: We are NOT signing those papers.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: It's wrong. They made a mistake. They think we're somebody else.
Monica: God works in mysterious ways.
Chandler: You've got to stop!
Monica: But she liked us.
Chandler: She likes Doctor Chandler and Reverend Monica.
Monica: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a reverend. I mean, as, as a chef, I serve God, by feeding the hungry and poor.
Chandler: Your veal chop is $34.95!
Monica: Come on Chandler, I just, I think we've been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake's already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Chandler: We are not the one she chose! How can you feel ok about this?
Monica: Because...we may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us.
Chandler: I know...
Monica: I mean, who knows how long it's gonna take for someone else to give us a baby? What if, what if no one ever picks us?
Chandler: Oh, honey...
Monica: Please, please, we are so close.
Chandler: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to.
Monica: Ok, right.
Chandler: So, we'll tell the truth and who knows, you know, maybe she'll like us for us.
Monica: Maybe she will. Uh! Why couldn't I've been a reverend?
Chandler: You're Jewish.
Waiter: Grden salad for the lady.
Joey: Oh, that looks great! Good ordering!
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
Sarah: Those fries look delicious.
Joey: Oh, I didn't know you liked French fries. Help yourself! What's mine is yours.
Sarah: Oh wow, are those stuffed clams?
Joey: Uuuh...yes, they are my stuffed clams.
Joey: How about those fries though, huh?
Sarah: They are delicious.
Joey: Yeah...you are beautiful, you know that?
Sarah: That is so sweet.
Joey: Now look what you did!
Sarah: What? what is the matter with you?
Joey: I don't like it when people take food off my plate, ok?
Sarah: But you just said "What's mine is yours"?
Joey: Well, I didn't mean it!
Sarah: Fine, sorry, I didn't think it was that big a deal.
Joey: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Ok, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, ok, I mean...There are things you do...and you know, things...that you don't do.
Girl: Wow, this place looks great.
Ross: Oh! You are gonna love it! and I'm so glad, we're finally doing this.
Girl: Me too!
Ross: So this was fun!
Joey: I really am sorry about, you know...before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you.
Sarah: Sure. Just not as much as clams.
Joey: Well, stuffed clams.
Waiter: Chocolate torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Joey: Uh, excuse me sir, there seems to be some sort of red crap on my cheesecake.
Waiter: Oh, yes, that's raspberry coulis.
Joey: Coulis is not a monkey? When I read the description I thought it came with a little raspberry monkey.
Sarah: Oh my God!
Joey: Uh, I'll just have what she's having instead.
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. That was our last piece.
Joey: So stupid, ordering cheesecake, trying to be healthy.
Sarah: Oh, no! This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me?
Joey: Oh yeah, sure. No problem.
Sarah: What are you doing? I thought you don't share food.
Joey: Sure I do. Coulis?
Sarah: No. If I can't have your clams, you can't have my dessert. This is a two-way street.
Sarah: Really! Now this all better be here when I come back.
Joey: Yeah, of course. I can control myself.
Joey: Stop staring at me!
Joey: Well, just a tiny little...
Joey: I'm not even sorry.
Adoption Agency guy: Hey.
Agency guy: So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through.
Monica: Is...Is that a picture?
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it.
Monica: Look, doctor!
Chandler: Look, before we sign anything, we really have to talk. We're not who you think we are.
Agency guy: I don't understand.
Chandler: The agency must have made some mistake. My wife is not a reverend and I'm not a doctor.
Agency guy: That's impossible.
Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Agency guy: Uh, I have to check your file. Excuse me.
Erica: So who are you?
Chandler: Well, our names really are Monica and Chandler. We're from New York.
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby.
Erica: So you lied to me before?
Monica: Well, we..."bore false witness"...See, I could be a reverend.
Erica: I can't believe this.
Monica: But we were hoping that since we told you the truth that you still might consider...
Erica: Giving you my baby? You think I'd give you my child after this?
Monica: We don't have to decide right now, but if you could just look at our file...
Erica: I don't want to look at your file! This is over.
Chandler: Erica wait!
Erica: I've nothing to say to you.
Chandler: Look. You have every reason to be upset. We did lie. But only because we've been waiting and trying to have a baby for so long. Now we don't know how long it's gonna be before we can get another chance again.
Erica: Why don't you ask the reverend to pray on it?
Chandler: Erica, please. Just consider us. Ask them to see our file. Our last name's Bing. My wife's a chef and I'm in advertising.
Erica: Oh yeah. I actually liked you guys. But it doesn't matter, because what you did was wrong.
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right...
Chandler: I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I...It kills me that I can't give her a baby...I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife...she's already there. She's a mother...without a baby...Please?
Chandler: You still want that baby?
Monica: God bless you Chandler Bing!
Ross: Turns out this sweater is made for a woman.
Joey: So, why are you still wearing it?
Ross: Because it's soft...Hey, so how was your date?
Joey: Ooh...Not so good.
Ross: Well, looks like it's just the two of us tonight, huh old buddy?
Joey: Yeah, and you know what? We could do a lot worse.
Joey: Joey doesn't share food!
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