Monica: This cake is amazing!
Rachel: My God, get a room!
Monica: I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time!
Phoebe: If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex?
Chandler: Seriously, answer faster!
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!
Chandler: It's like a giant hug.
Phoebe: Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food?
Phoebe: Ok, how about, uhm, sex or dinosaurs?
Ross: Oh my God. It's like Sophie's Choice.
Rachel: Oh God. What about you, Joe? What would you give up, sex or food?
Joey: Uhm...oh...I don't know, it's too hard.
Rachel: No, you gotta pick one!
Joey: Oh...food. No, sex. Food! Sex! Food! I don't know! Good God, I don't know, I want, I want girls on bread!
Rachel: You gotta see these latest pictures of Emma.
Phoebe: Oh, how cute!
Phoebe: Oh, she looks just like a little doll!
Rachel: Oh, no no. That is a doll.
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! Oh, there's Chandler.
Rachel: Oh. Who is the blonde, she's pretty.
Phoebe: OH! He's having an affair.
Rachel: He's not having an affair!
Phoebe: You know, I'm always right about these things.
Rachel: No, you're not! Last week you thought Ross was trying to kill you!
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into a car with her!
Rachel: Oh, that doesn't mean anything.
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. Ok, duck down.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm...I...I know that Monica is working today so I was wondering if you wanna come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Chandler: Oh, uh...I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck here at the office all day.
Phoebe: Oh, well, it's a shame that you...that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or..."An Affair to Remember".
Chandler: Those are all really old!
Phoebe: Ok, then maybe it'll be, uhm...
Rachel: "Dude, Where's My Car?"
Rachel: They're in a car.
Phoebe: Ok, well, I'll talk to you later. Ok, bye.
Phoebe: Ok. Quick. We gotta find a cab and follow them.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, ok. Let me just grab my night vision goggles and my stun gun.
Phoebe: I got them.
Monica: Hey! Hi, sweetie. Hey, you smell like perfume and cigarettes.
Chandler: I was in the car with Nancy all day.
Monica: Nancy doesn't smoke!
Chandler: Well, at least the perfume is not mine, be thankful for that!
Monica: So? What do you think of the house?
Chandler: It's perfect. It's everything we've been looking for.
Monica: Isn't it? Then what about the...the amazing wainscoting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic?
Chandler: And the wiggle warms and the zip zorps? What were the things you said?
Monica: Don't you love the huge yard?
Chandler: And the fireplace in the bedroom.
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under-price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Chandler: This is bringing out a lovely color in you!
Monica: So? Do you think we should get it?
Chandler: I don't know. What do you think?
Monica: I think we should.
Chandler: I do too.
Monica: This is huge!
Chandler: I know.
Monica: How bad you wanna smoke right now?
Chandler: I don't know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy's car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Monica: Gotcha. When do we tell them about this?
Chandler: We don't. Not until it's a hundred percent. I mean, why upset everybody over nothing.
Monica: Ok. Right. Oh my God, that is gonna be so hard.
Chandler: I know. Good luck with it.
Ross: I just can't see Chandler cheating!
Rachel: I'm telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, they went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Joey: Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right.
Ross: So you went all the way to Westchester, waited 45 minutes and came back in a cab?
Rachel: Yeah. And if each of you guys would like to pitch in 100 bucks, that'll be great.
Joey: I just can't believe he would do this to Monica!
Ross: I know, and with the baby coming?
Phoebe: So...should we tell her?
Ross: I don't know. Phoebe, if...if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Phoebe: Why? Who'd you seen him with?
Ross: No one, I'm just saying if...
Phoebe: Tell me what you know!
Ross: I know nothing! Mike's a great guy, it was hypothetical!
Phoebe: All right...He is a good guy. You're right, he wouldn't cheat.
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there's no way I...
Phoebe: Who did you see him with?
Rachel: Oh, look at her, so happy!
Monica: If only there were a smaller one to clean this one!
Joey: Is uh...is Chandler here?
Monica: No, he's picking up dinner, why, what's up?
Phoebe: Well, look, whatever happens, we're here for you and we love you.
Monica: All right.
Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Phoebe: They went in together. So sorry.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God that's awful! What did you think of the house?
Joey: Monica, you...you understand what we're saying, right?
Monica: Yeah, sure...uhm, I'm devastated, obviously...Did you think the neighborhood was homey?
Joey: You son of a bitch!
Chandler: Is it me, or the greeting's gone downhill around here?
Monica: Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and...em...they think you're having an affair.
Rachel: Who's Nancy?
Ross: What's going on?
Monica: Ok, alright, guys, you'd better sit down, this is, this is pretty big.
Chandler: Yeah Uh, I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor.
Joey: I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!
Phoebe: Why, why do you have a realtor?
Monica: Uhm, she's been showing us houses outside of the city.
Rachel: Are you serious?
Monica: When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't wanna raise a kid in the city.
Phoebe: So you, so you're gonna move?
Ross: Oh my God!
Joey: Shouldn't we all vote on stuff like this? !
Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!
Monica: That's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swing set.
Chandler: And a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice-cream truck can go by.
Ross: So you wanna buy a house in the 50's?
Phoebe: You thought about what you're giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if, what if you want Chinese food at 5 am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains, or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Ross: You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's ok.
Joey: No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! I'm gonna thump you!
Ross: It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, ok, but you're gonna realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Chandler: Actually, we already found a house we love.
Monica: And about an hour ago, we made an offer.
Chandler: Bet you wish I was having an affair now, huh?
Ross: You put an offer on a house?
Monica: It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that leads down to this stream and then there's these...these old maple trees...
Phoebe: Wh? Again with the nature, what're you, Beavers?
Chandler: I know this is really hard and we're really sorry.
Joey: Is...is this because I come over here without knocking and, and eat your food? Because I can stop doing that, I really, really think I can!
Chandler: You know that's not the reason Joe.
Monica: Think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. It's...it's beautiful, isn't it?
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Joey: What the hell are you doing?
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but man this would be a nice place to live!
Ross: Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place?
Rachel: Come on Daddy, listen to me! It's like all of my life, everyone has always told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!" And then today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a, a purse, you know? Or a, or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha...It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Rachel: Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Monica: Well, I guess we've established she's staying here with Monica.
Ross: Your money is mine, Green!
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller!
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J' Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's...'joincidence' with a 'C'!
Phoebe: Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
Rachel: Ow, that had to hurt!
Phoebe: Hey, it's your Thanksgiving too, you know, instead of watching football, you could help.
The Guys: We will.
Monica: Hey, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmallows in concentric circles.
Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I, want to do this.
Monica: Every year.
Joey: It's stuck!
Phoebe: Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Joey: Plus, it smells really bad in here.
Phoebe: Yeah, of course it smells bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
Phoebe: Oh, Monica, oh.
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast...Oh my God! Oh my God! Who is that?
Joey: It's Joey.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Rachel: Oooohh that's interesting.
Chandler: If you win, we give up the birds.
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Ross: What was Monica's nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Joey: Big fat goalie.
Ross:"Rachel claims it's her favorite movie."
Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons.
Ross: Her actual favorite movie is...
Joey: Weekend at Bernie's.
Ross: Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Joey: Everyday use.
Chandler: Fancy guest.
Ross: Two seconds.
Joey: Uhh, 11!
Ross: 11, unbelievable, 11 is correct.
Ross: Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast?
Ross: No, 19.
Chandler: Thanks man.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Rachel: Oh, space cowboy!
Ross: What is Chandler Bing's job?
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Monica: It's umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh...oh...oh, he's a transponce...transpondster!
Monica: That's not even a word!
Rachel: You know what, you are mean boys who are just being mean!
Joey: Hey, don't get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
Monica: Hey, we'd still be living here if you hadn't gotten the question wrong!
Rachel: Well it's a stupid, unfair question!
Ross: Don't blame the questions!
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
Ross: Chandler! Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! I saw what you were doing to my sister of! Get out here!
Chandler: Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, goodbye, take care, bye-bye then!
Monica: Hey Ross. What's up? bro?
Ross: What, the hell, are you doing? !
Rachel: Hey, what's...what's going on? !
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Joey: Dude! He's right there!
Ross: I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I...I cannot believe this!
Chandler: We're not just messing around! I love her. Ok, I'm in love with her.
Monica: So sorry that you had to find out this way. Sorry, but it...it's true, I love him too.
Ross: My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this.
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I'm just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Rachel: So funny, 'cause I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don't mean to make things worse, but umm, I don't wanna live with Rachel anymore.
Monica and Rachel: What? !
Phoebe: You're just so mean to each other! And I don't wanna end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Rachel: Well, Phoebe, that's fine because I'm not moving.
Monica: Phoebe, you gotta take her! You know, I, I know I said some really bad stuff about her, but you know Rachel does have some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she'll fold on the pages of the things she thinks that I'd like.
Phoebe: What else?
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I...I do, do that.
Phoebe: That's nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Rachel: Well, you know what, I don't want you to be cold.
Monica: And, when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!
Monica: She really left.
Chandler: I know.
Monica: Thank you.
Chandler: No problem roomie.
Monica: Can I ask you a question?
Monica: What the hell is that dog doing here?
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this is been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting.
Chandler: Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
All: That's so sweet. Thank you.
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.
Rachel: And a crappy New Year.
All: Here, here!
Rachel: You can't move. You just...you just can't.
Joey: Rachel's right. This is where you guys belong.
Phoebe: Yeah, you guy...you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters.
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here, and you guys...are just having dinner or...watching TV or something, but...makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good.
Rachel: Yeah. So, so don't move, ok? Just stay here and...maybe close your blinds at night.
Chandler: Hello? It's Nancy, they responded to our offer.
Chandler: Ok, thanks. They passed. They said they wouldn't go a penny under the asking price.
Monica: We can't afford that.
Chandler: I know.
Monica: Well, there you go.
Joey: Really sorry, you guys.
Ross: Yeah. I'm sorry too. I'm even more sorry that that phone call didn't come before I told you about looking through the window.
Rachel: Yeah, we're gonna let you be alone.
Phoebe: You're gonna be ok?
Monica: Yeah, we'll be ok.
Ross: Love you guys.
Joey: Hey, you know, I'm really sorry I wasn't more supportive before.
Chandler: That's ok, we understand.
Joey: Yeah. And...and about this Nancy...If you're not sleeping with her, should I?
Monica: I know there'll be other houses, but it's just so...I love that one so much.
Chandler: Um, it's a good thing we got it then.
Chandler: We got the house.
Monica: Oh my God! Chandler: I just didn't wanna tell you in front of them.
Monica: Oh my God! My God! We've got the house? !
Chandler: We're getting the house! Oh, We're getting the house.
Monica: And a baby.
Chandler: We're growing up.
Monica: We sure are.
Chandler: So who's gonna tell them?
Monica: Not it!
Chandler: Not it! Damn it!
Monica: Rachel, this is yours.
Rachel: Why? What're these for?
Chandler: You'll see.
Monica: All right, everybody open them!
Rachel: Ooh! Oh, wow this is so beautiful.
Phoebe: Oh! These're the ones I was looking at in the store.
Monica: I know.
Ross: Oh I love this.
Joey: A meatball sub? Thanks!
Ross: Seriously you guys, what's going on? What're these for?
Chandler: Well, I didn't know how to tell you before, but...We got the house.
Joey: What'd they say?