Joey: Thank you.
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica.
Monica: Aww, thank you. Uh Rach?
Monica: Why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser?
Rachel: Oh! That's why. Sorry.
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today. May I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you?
Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day.
Chandler: Oh, listen. If this is about those prank memos, I had nothing to do with them. Really. Nothing at all. Really. Nothing. And frankly, I don't think those kind of shenanigans have place in an office environment.
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this incredible news, so when he gets here, we could all act like, you know... Never mind. But it was going to be really good.
Ross: What's going on?
All: What is it?
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
All: That is great!
Oh, my God. Congratulations!
Chandler: So.... I quit.
Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp job!
Monica: Yeah, Chandler...you've been there for five years.
Chandler: If I took this promotion, it would be like admitting that this is what I actually do.
Joey: Oh, man, does that mean we have to start buying our own toilet paper?
Ross: That was Joey Tribbiani with the big picture, Dan?
Monica: So was it a lot more money?
Chandler: It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS.
Chandler: Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. A processing term. .
Rachel: Oh. That WENUS.
Joey: So what're you going to do?
Chandler: I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know what I want to do. I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve. Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Monica: Hi, there.
Phoebe: Hi! Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um... Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Chandler: Yeah...I just don't have a lot of chefing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
Monica: What, what kind of food is he looking for?
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do something eclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Monica: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know! So, what do you think?
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
Phoebe: OK. Oh Monica! Guess what?
TV: A perfect run-up and there he goes, a perfect......
Ross: Watch something like this and you realize why evolution is just a theory.
Chandler: Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
Rachel: No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're still there.
Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. SuityMan?
Chandler: Well, I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pillman, career counselor agogo. I added the "agogo."
Rachel: Career counselor?
Chandler: Hey, you guys all know what you want to do.
Rachel: I don't!
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Monica: Oh, I love my life, I love my life!
Phoebe: Ooh! Brian's Song!
Rachel: The meeting with the guy went great?
Monica: So great! He showed me where the restaurant's going to be. It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street. Not too big, it's not too small. It's just right.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
Rachel: What are you going to make?
Phoebe: Yummy noises. And Monica, what are you going to make?
Monica: I don't know. I don't know. It's just going to be so great!
Phoebe: Oh, I know what you can make! I know! Oh, you should make that thing, you know, with the stuff. You know that thing with the stuff? Okay, I don't know.
Ross: Hey, guys, does anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood?
Joey: How about Tony's? If you finish a 32ounce steak, it's free.
Ross: OK, hey, does anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?
Chandler: Who are you going out with?
Phoebe: Oh, is this the bug lady?
Rachel: "I love you, Ross."
Ross: Her name is Celia and she's not a bug lady, she's a curator of insects at the museum.
Monica: So what are you guys gonna do?
Ross: I just thought we go out to dinner, then, maybe bring her back to my place and introduce her to my monkey.
Chandler: And he's not speaking metaphorically.
Joey: So back to your place? You thinking maybe....
Ross: Well, I don't know....I mean, I'm hoping....
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet. She's gonna take one look at his furry, cute, little face and it'll seal the deal.
Ross: Celia, don't worry. He's not gonna hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia, soothing tones. OK. I'm sorry, I'm sorry .Here, Marcel.
Celia: I can't stand this. He's got his claws on my.
Yeah, all right.
Monica: Okay, try this salmon mousse.
Monica: Yeah? Is it better than the other salmon mousse?
Joey: It's creamier.
Monica: Yeah? Well, is that better?
Joey: I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down.