TV: The sound Mom and Dad will never forget. For this, after all, is the miracle of birth.
Teacher: Lights, please. And that's having a baby. Next week is our final class.
Ross: Susan, go deep.
Carol: This is impossible. It's just impossible.
Susan: What is, honey?
Carol: What that woman...did. I am not doing that. It's just gonna have to stay in. That's all, everything will be the same, it'll just stay in.
Ross: Carol, honey, shhh, everything's gonna be all right.
Carol: What do you know? No one's come up to you and said, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Susan: Carol, Carol, please. Cleansing breath. I know it's frightening, but big picture: The birth part is just one day, and when it's over, we'll all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives. I mean, that's what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Ross: I'm gonna be a father.
Rachel: It's just occurring to you?
Ross: I always knew I was having a baby, I just never realized the baby was having me. Oh, you're gonna be great! Aw, how can you say that? I can't even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid?
Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different. You might want to look into it.
Phoebe: Where you going?
Phoebe: All right, could I just ask you one question? Have you two, you know... like, you know, you know, yet?
Joey: Well, not that it's any of your business, but, no, we haven't, OK? You meant sex, right?
Nina: Do you have a sec?
Chandler: Uh, sure, Nina. What's up?
Nina: I don't know. For the past couple of days, people have been avoiding me and giving me these really strange looks.
Chandler: Oh, well, uh, maybe that's because they're uh, jealous of us.
Nina: Maybe. But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors.
Chandler: Uh, well, maybe that's, uh, because you're getting a big raise.
Nina: I am?
Chandler: Sure. Why not?
Nina: Oh, my God! You're amazing!
Chandler: Oh, you don't know.
Chandler: Helen, would you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinder's raise?
Helen: So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?
Chandler: Helen drinks.
Chandler: Will you marry me? So after the proposal, I kind of unraveled.
Ross: Right. Because you were really in control up until then.
Chandler: Well, I ended up telling her everything.
Rachel: Oh, how'd she take it?
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. Little tip: If you're ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand on the desk.
Monica: Okay, I think I get how to do this.
Phoebe: All right, so, can we turn this off? Just, just make it, make them go away? I can't, I can't look.
Monica: Okay, Pheebs, they're gone. Are you all right?
Phoebe: It's just, you know, it's this whole stupid Ursula thing.
Rachel: Ok, Pheebs, can I ask? So, he's going out with her. I mean, is it really so terrible?
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, I'm not saying she's like evil or anything.
Phoebe: She just, you know, she's always breaking my stuff.
Phoebe: When I was eight, and I wouldn't let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus.
Phoebe: And then when I was twelve, she broke my collarbone.
Phoebe: All right, I mean, she didn't mean to do it, but I think it still counts.
Phoebe: And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like, have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Monica & Rachel: No.
Phoebe: Well, that's what he was for me. And she, you know, kind of stole him away and then broke his heart. Then he wouldn't even talk to me anymore. Because he said he didn't wanna be around anything that looked like either one of us. I mean, I know Joey is not my boyfriend, or my thermos, you know, or anything, but...
Chandler: You're not gonna lose him.
Monica: You gotta talk to Joey.
Ross: Come on, he doesn't know this stuff. If he knew how you felt...
Phoebe: But he's falling in love with her.
Rachel: Please, they've been going out a week.
Rachel: They haven't even slept together yet, I mean, that's not serious.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay. Oh, Okay, oh.
Ursula: Oh, yeah, um, may we help you?
Monica: Rachel, what are you doing? It's freezing out here. Would you come back inside?
Rachel: No no no no no. You wanted me to take them down, so I'm takin' 'em down. OK? Whoa!
Monica: Rachel! Rachel!
Rachel: I'm okay! I'm okay!
Rachel: Mr. Heckles? Mr. Heckles, could you, could you help me, please?
Mr. Heckles: See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.