Phoebe: Uh-oh. It's Scary Scientist Man.
Ross: OK, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.
PHOEBE: OK, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, OK, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.
Ross: It's the only possibility, Phoebe.
Phoebe: OK, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, OK? Now, wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the Earth was flat?
Phoebe: And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out.
Phoebe: Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
Ross: There might be...a teeny...tiny...possibility.
Phoebe: I can't believe you caved.
Phoebe: You just abandoned your whole belief system. Now I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you.
Phoebe: How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Ah! Oh!
Phoebe: That was fun. So who's hungry?
Rachel: I am. Let me just get my coat.
Monica: OK, all right. It was an accident, I swear, all right. I was, I was putting on my jacket, and the-the thing, and the-the lamp, and it broke.
Rachel: Oh, please, Monica. You've always hated my lamp, and now, all of a sudden, it's just magically broken?
Monica: Phoebe, tell her!
Phoebe: OK, I didn't see it, 'cause I was putting on my jacket, but uh I want to believe you.
Rachel: Hey Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Chandler: Neat. I'm gonna die alone.
Rachel: OK, you win.
Monica: Chandler, you're not gonna die alone.
Chandler: Janice was my safety net, OK? And now I have to get a snake.
Phoebe: Uh huh. Why is that?
Chandler: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face.
Chandler: So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, you know. Crazy Snake Man.
Chandler: And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
Monica: You've got to get over this. OK? You're-you're not gonna end up alone.
Chandler: Of course I am. I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me, and then I bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there.
Rachel: Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever gone out with.
Monica: You are not a freak. You're a guy.
Rachel: She's right, she's right.
Rachel: You are no different than the rest of them.
Monica: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes he is. Yeah, you are totally different.
Chandler: In a bad way?
Monica: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.
Rachel: Yeah. You're not gonna end up alone.
Phoebe: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
Monica: You made it!
Phoebe: You're there!
Rachel: You are ready to make a commitment!
Chandler: Whoa! Don't know about that.
Rachel: What you got there? Something else that's not yours that you can break?
Monica: No. Um, I know you like this, and I-I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
Rachel: Thank you.
Monica: That's fine.
Chandler: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman Alison, from work, she is great. She's pretty. She's smart.
Chandler: And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has a, an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
Joey: Hey, uh, you can't recycle yearbooks, can you?
Chandler: I'll take that.
Joey: You want his yearbook?
Chandler: Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it.
Monica: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone.
Monica: You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person.
Monica: You're all going to hell.
Rachel: It's really not that big!
Chandler: Taking that with you, huh?
Joey: Oh, yeah.
Ross: Hey, you coming?
Chandler: Yeah, just a second.
Chandler: Goodbye Mr. Heckles.
Chandler: We'll try to keep it down.
Allison: Oh, my major was totally useless. I mean, how often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher wanted?"
Chandler: Sure. My God, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting.
Chandler: My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!