Rachel: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, come on, stop worrying.
Rachel: This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing Oh my Goood, oh where are you going, oh God mom, I gotta go, I gotta go. Oh my God.
Rachel: OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you.
Rachel: OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy.
Rachel: Aaahh, my God, my God, my God, my God, my God, my God, my God, aaaaahh. Oh God, Oh God It's open you guys.
Rachel: Hi, hi can I help you?
Stranger: Yeah, I'm looking for Phoebe, does she still live here?
Rachel: Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her.
Stranger: Great. Uhh, just tell her her husband stopped by.
Rachel: Her what?
Stranger: Hey, how, how did you do that?
Joey: This is unbelievable, Pheebs, how can you be married?
Phoebe: Well, I mean, I'm not married, married, you know, he's just a friend and he's gay and he was from Canada and he just needed a green card.
Monica: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
Phoebe: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
Monica: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
Ross: You see, and you thought she'd be judge mental.
Phoebe: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
Monica: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
Monica: Well, didn't you?
Phoebe: I might have.
Monica: I can't believe you didn't tell me.
Phoebe: Oh, come on, like you tell me everything.
Monica: What have I not told you?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
Monica: Wait a minute, who told you?
Monica: You are dead meat.
Chandler: I didn't know it was a big secret.
Monica: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple!
Phoebe: You have a third nipple?
Chandler: You bitch.
Ross: Whip it out, whip it out.
Phoebe: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Chandler: Come on, there's nothing to see, it's just a tiny bump, it's totally useless.
Rachel: Oh as, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?
Joey: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
Ross: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
Joey: I don't know, you see something, you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
All: Yeah, show it. Show it. The nubbin, the nubbin, the nubbin.
Chandler: Joey was in a porno movie.
Chandler: If I'm going down, I'm taking everybody with me.
All: Oh, my God! -Ross: You were in a porno?
Joey: Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK?
Joey: But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause these people having sex on it.
Monica: That is wild.
Ross: So what's it shaped like?
Phoebe: Yeah, is there a hair on it?
Joey: What happens if you flick it?
Ross: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
Chandler: Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.
Julie: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
Chandler: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, perchance, in the tri-state area?
Ross: You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know?
Rachel: Ooh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special.
Monica: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
Rachel: Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it.
All: Woah. Foxy lady.
Julie: Where're you going?
Phoebe: Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan, he's skating tonight at the Garden, he's in the Capades.
Joey: The Ice Capades?
Chandler: No, no the gravel capades. Yeah, the turns aren't as fast but when Snoopy falls...funny.
Monica: I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.
Phoebe: OK, no. For your information I'm going to see him so I can put all those feeling behind me.
Phoebe: OK, and the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice to look nice for your gay husband.
Ross: Oh, darn it, we're all out of milk. Hey Chandler, would you fill me up here?
Chandler: Oh I see, I see, because of the third nipple thing. Ha ha ha ha...
Ross: OK sweetie, I'll see you later. Bye.
Julie: See you later Rach.
Rachel: Bye-bye Julie.