Ross: Man, I sure miss Julie.
Chandler: Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there.
Ross: You ever figure out what that thing's for?
Chandler: No, see, I'm trying this new screening thing. You know, I figure if I'm always answering the phone, people'll think I don't have a life. My God, Rodrigo never gets pinned.
Machine: Comes the beep, you know what to do.
Woman's Voice: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jade.
Woman's Voice: I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again.
Woman's Voice: You know, I barely had the nerve to make this call, so, you know what I did?
Jade: I got a little drunk...and naked.
Chandler: Bob here.
Chandler: So uh, what've you been up to?
Jade: Oh, you know, the usual, teaching aerobics, partying way too much. Oh, and in case you were wondering, those are my legs on the new James Bond poster.
Chandler: Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. I love her.
Ross: I know.
Chandler: I'm back.
Jade: So, are we gonna get together or what?
Chandler: Um, absolutely. Uh, how about tomorrow afternoon? Do you know uh, Central Perk in the Village, say, five-ish?
Jade: Great, I'll see you then.
Chandler: OK. OK. Having a phone has finally paid off.
Ross: Even though you do do a good Bob impression, I'm thinking when she sees you tomorrow, she may realize that, "Hey, you're not Bob."
Chandler: I am hoping when Bob doesn't show up, she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table.
注释：wry：啼笑皆非的; 挖苦的; 讽刺的; 揶揄的。
Ross: Oh my God. You are pure evil.
Chandler: Ok, pure evil, horny and alone. I've done this...
Ross: Yeah, yeah, everybody's here. Hey, everybody, say hi to Julie in New Mexico.
All: Hi, Julie! -Rachel: Hi, Julie.
Chandler: OK, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
Phoebe: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
Chandler: Hey, come on, we got the gift, the concert, and the cake.
Joey: Do we need a cake?
Chandler: Look guys, I know it's a little steep. -Rachel: Yeah, whoosh!
Chandler: But it's Ross.
All: Yeah. Alright, it's Ross. I know, I know. -
Chandler: OK, I'll see you guys later, I gotta go...do a thing.
Ross: OK, sweetheart, I'll call you later tonight. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, you're not really gonna go through with this, are you?
Chandler: You know, I think I might just.
Rachel: So uh, what're you guys doing for dinner tonight?
Joey: Well I guess I gotta start saving up for Ross's birthday, so I guess I'll just stay home and eat dust bunnies.
Phoebe: Can you believe how much this is gonna cost?
Rachel: Do you guys ever get the feeling that um, Chandler and those guys just don't get that we don't make as much money as they do?
Joey: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
Phoebe: Yes, yes, and it's, and we always have to go to, you know, some place nice, you know?
Phoebe: God, it's not like we can say anything about it, 'cause, like this, a birthday thing, you know, and it's for Ross.
Joey & Rachel: For Ross...For Ross...Ross...Ross...Ross...
Monica: Oh my God.
Phoebe&Joey: Hey! What?
Monica: Ok, I'm at work, it's an ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauté, sauté, sauté.
Monica: All the sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
Joey: If it's not you, this is a horrible story.
Monica: Fortunately, it is me.
Rachel: Oh! -Monica: And they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much! -
All: Hey hey! -Rachel: That's so cool!
Monica: Anyway, I just ran into Chandler and Ross downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, some place nice.
Joey: Yeah, some place nice. -Rachel: Yeah!
Joey: How much do you think I can get for my kidney?
Ross: I'm telling you, You can't do this.
Chandler: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods.
Ross: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
Chandler: We don't know Bob! OK? We know me. We like me. Please let me be happy.
Ross: Go over there and tell that woman the truth.
Chandler: All right.
Chandler: Hi. - Jade: Hi.
Chandler: Listen, I have to, uh, um, I have to, I have to confess something.
Chandler: Whoever stood you up is a jerk.
Jade: How did you...
Chandler: I don't know. I just had this weird sense. You know, but that's me. I'm weird and sensitive. Tissue?
Chandler: No, you keep the pack. I'm all cried out today.